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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23863729">4 Loves of Cloud Strife</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Novafive/pseuds/Novafive'>Novafive</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Final Fantasy VII</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M, M/M, Multi</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-04-26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-04-04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 22:46:51</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>118,705</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23863729</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Novafive/pseuds/Novafive</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Part one Chapter one Cloud day one at Basic Training. He meets the mysterious Mara, wife of the Commandant who promises to help his career if he becomes her willing slave or have him court-martialed if he refuses. A conspiracy surrounds Cloud everyone wants something from him. He struggles with his situation, his sexuality and his sanity.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Aerith Gainsborough/Cloud Strife, Reno/Cloud Strife, Tifa Lockhart/Cloud Strife</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>32</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. The Rules</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Drug use, torture, comfort, homosexuality, rape, BD/SM  combat violence, standard violence.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The Four Loves of Cloud Strife</p><p> </p><p>Part one – The Breaking of Cloud Strife</p><p> </p><p>The Rules</p><p>My lover's got humor<br/>She's the giggle at a funeral<br/>Knows everybody's disapproval<br/>I should've worshiped her sooner<br/>If the Heavens ever did speak<br/>She is the last true mouthpiece<br/>Every Sunday's getting more bleak<br/>A fresh poison each week<br/>"We were born sick", you heard them say it<br/>My church offers no absolution<br/>She tells me, "Worship in the bedroom<br/>Take me to church<br/>I'll worship like a dog at the shrine of your lies<br/>I'll tell you my sins and you can sharpen your knife<br/>Offer me that deathless death<br/>Good God, let me give you my life<br/>Hozier Take me to church</p><p> </p><p>The air was filled with chemical smells, exhaust fumes and gunpowder as Cloud slid off the truck and nimbly landed. The others were heavy by compare, graceless and it made him feel better.</p><p>The quad itself was a huge square of hard yellow desert dirt with a Shinra flag and Quonset huts around the perimeter. Off in the distance was the track and the obstacle course. The buildings were all labeled, Mess, Barracks, Central command, and one with a huge red cross with a Shinra symbol in the middle.</p><p>Thopter and tri wings flitted above them carrying various people to various venues. People patrolled and drilled, a joyous cacophony of cadences and vehicles, orders barked and sharp replies.</p><p>He watched his fellows climb out of the truck. One of the fell. If these were the competitors he was a shoe in for Soldier, just like Sephiroth. He could feel the strength and excitement running through every nerve of his body.</p><p>A tall man with dark eyes and a facial scar looked them over. Sweat beaded in his brush haircut and the seemed to consider them for a minute then barked “Alright Bloatfloats, Atten….HUT!”</p><p>His voice had a sheer power and all of them suddenly knew how to leap to attention and did so. In their new uniforms and with their new shorn heads it seemed like maybe they did know what they were doing.</p><p>All around them the camp moved. People ran laps and cleared trash, jeeps and trucks rollws through the sweltering dust and somewhere in the distance a VTOL leapt into the air and headed off with velocity away. Cloud had never been happier in his life.</p><p>The Sargent had stopped in front of him.</p><p>“Strife?!  Is your name Strife?!” The Sargent demanded.</p><p>“Uh. Yes sir?” He ventured. All his bravado had fled him in the presence of this behemoth.</p><p>The Sargent loomed over him, suddenly seeming five hundred miles tall. His face was close and he smelled of cigars and cheap men's’ cologne. “I work for a living, boy and best you don’t forget it. You will address me as Sargent. You will say “Sargent, Yes Sargent or Sargent, no Sargent” unless in some baffling turn of events I feel like one of you has something interesting to say. Am I clear, Strife?”</p><p>“Ye.. I mean, Sargent, Yes Sargent.” He yelled with all the might he had.</p><p>“Well, Strife, you might have a pair yet. Now, the rest of you, follow Strife as he gives me 20 laps of the perimeter… And Strife, Come see me when you're done.”</p><p>“Sargent, yes Sargent.”  He could feel the glares of dislike from his fellows but he didn’t care. He was used to being hated. No one in Nibelheim had ever cared for him, except maybe one person. Maybe Tifa. But probably not.</p><p>No, he felt only the joy of movement. He started at the back of the pack but quickly lapped even the fastest of the other cadets. They were just rounding the first turn of the last lap as he jogged toward the Sargent's office. Sweat and dust caked his face and he had never been more jubilant.</p><p>He didn’t even see her til he bumped into her.</p><p>“Oh, so sorry ma’am” He muttered as he caught her before she could fall and swept her up into a dip.  He caught her eyes, ice green and intoxicating and her expensive perfume hit his nose with notes of the flowers from the mountains near his home. He righted her and brushed off the shoulder of her tight black dress.</p><p>“It’s alright. Always have time to fall into the arms of a young man as handsome as you.”</p><p>He blushed then, and looked away and bit his lip.</p><p>“Aren’t you just a prize” She said, not to him really, to herself. “Say, my husband is the commandant of this camp and I need some help around the house putting some things in storage. Think you could come up say, 5:30ish?”</p><p>“Well, I‘d have to ask my Sargent..”</p><p>“Believe me, you don’t. Be there, won’t take more than an hour. I could put a word in for you with the Commandant.”</p><p>Her voice was like liquid sex, a little husky and effortlessly seductive. He knew he shouldn’t but it would only be for an hour and then he might get some brownie points, very first day.</p><p>“Of Course, ma’am. I’ll change right after Taps and be there”</p><p>“Good boy. See you then.” She walked away slowly, and part of him knew he shouldn’t stare but another part knew she wanted him to, so he did.</p><p>“See you met Mara.”  He heard behind him. He turned and it was the Sargent. “Yeah. I get it kid. You don’t want her to go but you love to watch her leave. Take my word for it, that is bad news…”</p><p>“I’m just going to move some stuff into storage for her.” He said. He felt the Sargent’s muscle’s twitch and heard his jaw click.</p><p>“Like hell you will.” He muttered as he walked away.</p><p>A moment later the Sargent had Mara by the shoulder and she was looking at him quite unhappily.</p><p>They argued intently, both of them occasionally motioning in Cloud’s direction. She seemed to have won the argument, though.</p><p>The Sargent turned abruptly, Cloud took a step forward, he thought the Sargent might hit her and his instincts moved in that direction, but the strike didn’t come.  He leaned back, watching intently.</p><p>The Sargent came back.</p><p>“Go and tell her you have something else to do…” The Sargent ordered.</p><p>“But I don’t.” Cloud said. He wanted to be a Soldier and the favor of a Commandant’s wife could be very helpful.</p><p>“This isn’t an order. I can’t order you. But I’m giving you some friendly advice. That isn’t a woman. It’s a snake. And it will bite you sooner or later. Probably sooner.”</p><p>Cloud’s eyes moved to her and she blew him a kiss.</p><p>Oh, Sage advice or not, he was going.</p><p>“I’ll think about it sir.”</p><p>“Yeah, but not with the right head.” the Sargent offered.</p><p>“Did you want me for something?” Cloud asked, his attention already flitting to the next thing of interest.</p><p>“Um, yeah. Form everybody up. We’re going to do the obstacle course.”</p><p>Cloud ran off to do his bidding like an obedient son leaving a brooding Sargent to watch him.</p><p> </p><p>____</p><p>The obstacle course was a thing of beauty. As an isolated child with access to all the toys nature could provide, he’s built one of his own in the woods outside Nibelheim, but nothing like this. A field of tires, barbed wire, things to jump over, on,  through and at the far end a the wall, 20 feet of oblique pine and logs that needed to be more leapt then climbed. Ropes dangled invitingly at a terrifying height.</p><p>He could barely wait his turn. From experience jumping and climbing things he knew sweat was the enemy and so he grabbed hands full of the dusty Gaian dirt and rubbed his hands in it as his fellow cadets watched his habit in horror. The Sargent, though, gave him a silent smile.</p><p>The Commandant approached from a direction the cadets couldn’t see. His eyes fell immediately on Cloud.</p><p>“What do you think?” He asked the Sargent in his ear quietly.</p><p>“What the fuck is he?” The Sargent asked.</p><p>“Dunno, I just heard that straight from Shinra we put him through the paces. No mercy. And Jude, Mara has been give special… permissions with this one.”</p><p>“I don’t see how anything she intends to teach him can be useful.” the Sargent spat.</p><p>“You had a friend from Nibelheim, didn’t you?  Can I guess?  His father?”</p><p>“Saved my life in the Genesis wars.”</p><p>“We’re all hand selected to play a part. Yours is to be his friend, and confessor if he’ll let you. Don’t get attached. He probably won’t live that long.”</p><p>The Sargent looked down and nodded.</p><p>“Stay out of her way. You know how she gets.”</p><p>Again the Sargent nodded.</p><p>“Strife. Hit it!” The Sargent shouted looking up and seeing the boy’s posture, a horse pulling at the gate, ready to be loosed into the wind.</p><p>Before the words had drifted from the wind, Cloud was moving through course like a fire was chasing him. He near slid under the barbed wire, swung through the air like an ape and never faltered til the wall. He ran at it full tilt and leapt into the air, one hand securing a hold on the edge of the tip rim ignoring the ropes that might have been closer and vaulted him over the barrier and hung there for a moment all momentum lost.</p><p>Disappointment ran through the two officers who watched, but then the other cadets began to cheer Cloud on. He swung hard and got his other hand up. With a grunt and a release of raw power he hoisted himself over the wall. At the top he sat and waved at his comrades, the only one who had managed to get to the top.</p><p>“What the fuck is he?” The commandant asked again.</p><p>“A cadet, Crezz. He’s a cadet.” The Sargent stated.</p><p>“He’s a fucking marvel, that’s for sure.  Beer tonight?”</p><p>The Sargent nodded sadly and watched Cloud drop to the ground in triumph.</p><p>“That’s a first time record.” The corporal reported in amazement.</p><p>“First of many, I’m sure,” Sargent Jude offered. “What the fuck did they do to him is a better question.”</p><p>“Sargent?”  </p><p>“Nevermind. Send ‘em to wash up for dinner. Tell Strife to make sure he shower before his errand or she’ll be pissed.”</p><p>“Yes sir.”</p><p> </p><p>____</p><p>Taps was sounding in the distance and the sun was sinking in the sky as the final days of a very warm winter receded into what promised to be a very warm spring.</p><p>He was showered and had put on some aftershave because he figured he should try to smell decent when going to an officer’s home. He was looking forward to meeting the Commandant.</p><p>The house was about a mile from the camp at the officer’s field. He walked it. It looked like a suburban neighborhood. Her house as the biggest here and once he hit the pavement he began to jog toward the address. Behind it was a private airfield the families here used to go to the old Saucers or even Midgar for shopping, school entertainment.</p><p>He walked up to the door and took off his cap, tucked it in the back of his uniform pants.</p><p>The door opened and she stood there, a little messy, a cut up sweat shirt revealing a black bra and beneath that, small shorts. Her hair was tied in a messy bun and it was just the kind of casual disarray that could drive a man wild.</p><p>He swallowed hard and willed his manhood back into slumber and waited to be invited in.</p><p>“Well?” She stepped back and he moved past her, feeling her eyes on him.</p><p>“So, What do you want me to do?” He asked. “Um, Ma’am?” He remembered his manners.</p><p>“Mara, call me Mara. For now. No rush. Did you eat?” She asked sweetly. Her dark hair tousled gently the way he imagined it would across white sheets.</p><p>“No, I needed to shower and I didn’t want to be late, ma’am.. I mean Mara.”</p><p>“Good I made you dinner. From now on, you’ll have dinner here…”</p><p>But.. ummm.”</p><p>She pushed him toward the kitchen where there was a meal spread. And what a meal, The biggest steak he’d ever seen, a fresh green salad and some kind of bean. There was also fresh fruit and a small sliver of cheese.</p><p>She moved to the fridge and brought him back a shaker full of something sweet and grainy to drink.</p><p>“Eat up, we have work to do.” She said and he didn’t need to be told twice. He fell on it like a wolf and ate the rare steak, it was perfection, it was heaven…”</p><p>“Chew your food, don’t they feed you boys?”</p><p>“Um, yes ma’am but not like this. My mom’s a good cook but this is the best food I ever ate.” He said between bites.</p><p>“Have ever eaten” She corrected. He nodded but didn’t dare talk with his mouth full. He swallowed hard and smiled at her.</p><p>“Eat it all.” She leaned over with a napkin and dabbed the side of his mouth. “You have such lovely skin.” She offered.</p><p>“Mom always says Dad was handsome and I look just like him. But I don’t know. I figure I’m just kind of average. “</p><p>She cocked her head as if taking a mental note.</p><p>He finished every bite and sipped at the protein shake.</p><p>“Don’t you like it?” She asked.</p><p>“No, it’s good.”  He downed it though it had a bitter aftertaste and made his throat a little raw.</p><p>“Well, come with me.”</p><p>She stood and bounced off toward the stair case. He was close behind her, the plate abandoned on the table. He thought better, his mother would kill him and he picked up his plate and the shaker and put them in the sink. Then he followed.</p><p>A moment later he stood behind her as she climbed the rickety Attic stairs.</p><p>“Be careful.  I can get that!” He said. As he got to the bottom of the ladder just as she felt. He knew she was light but catching her in his arms was like dancing with a feather and he stood marveling at how tiny she really was now that she was in his arms.</p><p>He looked up and she was looking at his eyes.</p><p>“You know I didn’t bring you here for some old boxes, don’t you?”</p><p>“Well, I…”  He stammered, both afraid and excited that he might.</p><p>“Are you a virgin, Cloud?”  He blushed hard and looked away, put her down almost dropping her. “Well, that’s a yes.”</p><p>“Ma’am, I can’t do this. You’re husband…”</p><p>“Is your boss’s boss’s boss’s boss. Just so you understand the politics here, farmboy.”</p><p>“I should go…” He turned to the stairs.</p><p>“Do you know what a carrot and stick situation is. Cloud?”  He stopped on the third stair down.</p><p>“I think so.”</p><p>“Well, in this situation, the carrot is, if you do what I asked, not only will we have an amazing time, and I promise you that… I’ll also make sure you get into the soldier exam. And if what I’ve seen today is any representation you can be better that Sephiroth…”  He turned to face her.  “The stick, my love is if you walk out of here I’ll tell my husband you tried to rape me and he will court martial and hang you.”</p><p>It sank in slowly, there was a memory.  When he was a child, He’d stumbled on a mouse trap and there had been a mouse in it, not quite dead. It wriggled weakly and then expired.  He felt that way now.</p><p>“Why me? There are way better guys out there.”</p><p>“Are there? Ones who also blew away the obstacle course? Who run rings around their friends? I don’t do second. You’d do well to remember that. Don’t let our games interfere with your training or it’s over.”</p><p>He walked back up the stairs. “OK, what do you want me to do?”</p><p>“Good choice.  Close that attic dormer and follow me.  And don’t make me wait this time, Cloud.”</p><p>He pushed the dormer up and followed.</p><p> </p><p>____<br/>The bedroom was lavish. There was a huge bed covered in silks and linens and the skin of some large carnivorous animal.  The walls had deep burgundy paint and the lighting was vaguely gold. The rest of the house was so middle class, but this was a fantasy.</p><p>“Undress.” she uttered suddenly.</p><p>“Hun?” He looked at her with his blue eyes narrowed.</p><p>She moved on him then, like a snake. She curled around him and somehow moved her body in a way that made him pick her up. She leaned forward and kissed him deeply and as much as he tried to resist he found his tongue in her mouth, searching and grasping in some burgeoning passion. She bite his lip then, hard enough to draw blood and he dropped her, grabbed his mouth.</p><p>“Fuck, owww!” he cried and she was next to him again, grabbed his hair and pulled his face down to meet hers.</p><p>“Cloud, darling. Do you know why your eyes are so blue?”</p><p>“My father…”</p><p>“Mako Exposure. It’s also why your mother is so sick. It’s in your clothes and toys and bedding, the soap Shinra sends her to keep you clean…”</p><p>“I...I what?”</p><p>“And my darling, if you defy me again I’ll pluck out one of those beautiful mako blue eyes and have Hojo tank you to grow another. Are we clear?”</p><p>Some of the concepts he was dealing with were foreign and puzzling, felt like black rabbit holes of questions he didn’t want answered but one concept was absolutely clear for him. She meant it, she would pull his eye out. And she might enjoy it.</p><p>He stood at attention and took off his shirt.</p><p>“You can sit on the bed to take off those horrid boots. In the closet I have clothes for you that you will change into when you come here. I will lay them on the bed for you. You will shower here and use the soap I have laid out. You will shower again when you leave me.”</p><p>“Yes, ma’am.” he said. She slapped him hard. He was so shocked he grabbed her flying wrist out of the air before he knew what he was doing. A hard glare had him loose it.</p><p>“Knees.”</p><p>He fell to his knees before her. She stepped forward and shoved his face into her breasts. Her perfume was heavy there and the smell of her body and a sigh escaped him.</p><p>She pushed his head back and looked him in the eyes. “I will forgive you hurting me.” She said quietly.</p><p>“God, I’m sorry.”</p><p>“It’s fine. You haven’t learned control yet. I have to teach you control. You will address me as My mistress, or my beloved mistress exclusively when we are alone. You will call me Mara in all other instances.</p><p>“Yes ma… Mistress…”</p><p>“Beloved Mistress.”</p><p>His dropped his eyes in submission and she smiled. “Yes, my beloved mistress.”</p><p>“Boots. And socks.”</p><p>He sat on the edge of the bed and removed his shoes and socks. He waited for her next command.</p><p>“Good, you learn quickly. Now, stand up. All the rest.”</p><p>He stood and undid the belt, slid his pants and underwear off and folded them and dropped them on the floor. He stood, eyes down struggling with his hands to keep from covering himself. He was fully erect and ashamed.</p><p>“Do you like this game?” she asked. “And don’t lie.”</p><p>“Yes, beloved mistress.” He confessed, surprising himself.</p><p>She walked over to him and pulled his face down, kissed him hard as he hand cupped his cock and gently massaged.  He pulled away.</p><p> </p><p>“What if your husband comes home?” He asked, in a sudden panic. There was a vision of the door opening and his worst nightmare entering and he felt himself soften a little.</p><p>“He’s with his mistress. He won’t be home again tonight. We have an understanding, He indulges, I indulge…” She stroked him again, her hand wrapped tightly around his member and he moaned a little then. “And Cloud… My patience is wearing thin with your defiance.”</p><p>“Yes, beloved mistress.” He murmured.  She pushed him back on the bed and shoved her tongue down his throat. It was intense and deep. All the while her hand expertly worked his cock faster and faster until he didn’t think he could take it. He felt the explosion of hot fluid escape him and groaned with pleasure.</p><p>“Did you like that?” She asked.</p><p>“Yes. My mistress…” He dozed lightly for a second but a hard slap to his face roused him. “I’m sorry Mistress. So sorry.”</p><p>“Alright, you’ve had your pleasure. Now I will teach you to give me mine.”</p><p>“I am your willing student.” He murmured and she smiled. She took the hair tie from her hair and it fell around her shoulders in a black cascade. He was lost in the moment now and had not thought or care for any doom that might befall him.  He wrapped his fingers in that hair and kissed her. She let him explore her mouth and then pulled back</p><p>“Kiss me harder. Like you mean it.” She leaned over him again, her hair tickling his shoulders and he pulled her close, hard and kissed her with all the intensity he could muster, his tongue searching her mouth and then his curiosity drawing him to her neck and shoulder. He flipped her over on her back and lay with his now re hardening piece pressed against the warm spot between her legs and he squirmed a little making her moan and laugh all the same.</p><p>“You are my most eager student.”</p><p>“Tell me, Beloved Mistress. Show me how to please you with my body.”  She pushed him back and looked deep into his eyes.</p><p>“Are you sure you aren’t a ringer?” She asked and kissed him again so hard it reopened his bloody lip. She drank his blood and then gave him more coppery metallic licks.</p><p>“OK, you want to learn, here is the first lesson. Explore my body with that talented tongue of yours.”</p><p>She didn’t have to tell him twice, he kissed every part of her. He sucked at her toes and fingers and nibbled her nipples and rubbed his face in the space between her breasts.</p><p>“Jesus fuck you are so beautiful.” he said and kissed her pelvis on either side and the inside of her thighs making her cry out.”</p><p>“Did I hurt you, Mistress?” He asked looking up from his work.</p><p>“Gods no, and who said you could quit?”  He felt the sting of her nails on his shoulder and saw a little line of red forming. And pleasure. He felt the pleasure of his cock rubbing against her soft flesh.</p><p>“Well, go on. Spread my legs there’s more for that tongue to explore.”</p><p>He was anxious, he couldn’t bear to wait another moment and soon his face was pressed hard against her warm pussy, licking and drinking the juice he found there. His tongue went deep into her and she moaned and gasped.</p><p>“Cl. Cloud…. Stop…”  </p><p>He jerked up, afraid he’d done something wrong but she was smiling. “I’ll give you an A for enthusiasm.  Now I need to teach you technique…”</p><p>She wrapped her legs around the back of his neck and pulled him close and then let him go. Instinctively he stayed where she put him. She reached down and with her long fingers spread her labia open for him to see.</p><p>“There’s a pearl in there. A little hard ball. Concentrate your efforts there. Occasionally dive deeper, but that’s where the action is. It’s called a clitoris.”</p><p>Wordlessly he leaned down and pushed his face into the warm darkness of her pussy, his tongue danced and probed, making her moan and squirm and he found himself enamored of his newfound control of her. He found her clitoris and with a confident and firm lick sent her into paroxysms. He couldn’t help himself he looked up from his work.”</p><p>“That it?” He asked and she playfully smacked his head.</p><p>“You know it is and no one told you that you could stop.”</p><p>“Forgive me, Beloved mistress.” He smiled in great joy and went back to his work, moaning himself as she moved closer and closer to climax. The boy seemed a savant at all things physical and this was no exception She came, grabbed his head and steadying him in her clit as he continued to suck and lick and drive her into orgasm.</p><p>When it was done he kneeled between her legs and looked at her. She could tell he wanted to touch but was clever enough to know who owned him and that he should wait to be told his next move. She also glanced down at the erect cock and found it to be well above average, thick and strong and of a length that there was enough blood in him to make it rock hard. And it was.</p><p>He waited. She tested him. Most of her lovers broke and reached for her before permission as given. Not him. He sat and waited and looked at her like she was a feast in his starvation. There was no smile, rather his eyes burned into her from an inscrutable blankness in the rest of his delicate features.</p><p>“You may put it in me now.” she said and he sighed and leaned forward. He was inexpert and it took him a few tries to find the sweet spot. He slid in and when he did, it took her breath away. She exhaled and grabbed his back and scratched, though she hadn’t meant to. He groan and she knew the angry welts across his back had added to the pleasure.</p><p>He was perfect. Would be when she was done with him at any rate. And Shinra might want him broken but she would have so much fun with him until that time. They would waste this delightful toy with so much potential for pleasure on some war or suppression. Men were sickening and shallow.</p><p>He was moving inside her now, smooth, deep strokes, graceful and powerful.</p><p>“Do.. Do we. I mean can I.. Will I get you pregnant?” He asked not changing stride or missing a cadence in his push into her.</p><p>She let out a little cry and replied “No, You’re safe. Don’t stop…” He intensified his hammering of her and she thought she might pass out. She made a vague strangled noise and he slowed down. He leaned back to check on her.</p><p>“Are you alright?” He asked. She nodded. Then, without stopping he looked at with curiosity “May I ask questions?”</p><p>“Now?” she gasped.</p><p>“They’re pertinent to the situation.” His voice hitched as he said the words.</p><p>“Go. Go ahead.”</p><p>“How do I keep from finishing? How do I control it…?” She could now hear an urgency in the question and feel tremble rising.</p><p>“Think about something unsexy. Think about your mom.” She blurted.</p><p>He slowed down for a second. “Yeah, that did it, thanks.” he offered sarcastically. He fell back into rhythm.</p><p>“Any time.” she squeaked.  </p><p>“How to I play with your clitoris when I’m inside you.” He said suddenly and she felt him grow a bit harder between her legs.</p><p>She sat up a little and put her hand on his chest. As if he had been trained already he stopped moving and stayed perfectly still his maleness still lodged inside her.</p><p>“Scoot forward.”  She pulled him up higher so his cock would rub her clit with every stroke  “There. Now…”</p><p>She threw off the shirt and peeled off her bra, pressing her nakedness against him.</p><p>Slowly he began to pump her again and almost instantly she was close.</p><p>“Oh Fuck, Cloud.” She blurted.</p><p>“Uh.. you ok?”</p><p>“Do not stop. Fuck me.”</p><p>This encouraged him and he took up his firm, even rhythm again, plunging as far into her as he could go and then rocking back, rubbing her clit until she couldn’t breath.</p><p>She actually screamed when she came and she collapsed on the bed, felt him still grinding into her, his moans louder and louder until she felt him fill her, warm and sticky and he collapsed on her, groaned, breath heaving. He passed out almost immediately after rolling off her and snored lightly with his arms wrapped around her and his face buried deep in her hair.</p><p>She lay there in his arms, smelling him, his deep musk, listening to the little noises he made in his sleep and enjoying the moment. His arms were strong, and they felt safe and comfortable. She looked over at him and he looked so serene, so...perfect.</p><p>“Do not get attached.” she reminded herself under her breath. She felt his cum ooze down between her legs to the bed. Whatever Shinra had built here, it was something she had not expected to want to possess so much. She’d have to let him go. Worse, she’d have to do some horrible things to him. But he wasn’t hers and couldn’t be and Shinra was paying her a lot of gil to train him, to break him down.</p><p>She ran her fingers over the stubbly platinum hair and leaned over and kissed his forehead. He stirred but went back to sleep when she hushed him.</p><p>She lay there in bed, watching him sleep until 10 pm. She shook him awake</p><p>He sat up and looked alarmed. “I’m sorry mistress.”  He said suddenly.</p><p>“Cloud, have you do this before?”  He blushed and turned away from her. Some of it had to be ingrained by Shinra. They said he had been given some programming during doctor visits under the guise that he was a sickly child who needed an occasional overnight stay. But there was more.</p><p>“Tell me. I order you.”</p><p>“I was walking one day and I found.. a… a book. I read it. Well a lot.”</p><p>“Ah!” she said and leaned over and kissed him again.  “Now you will make me orgasm again, and then we’ll go over the rules and then you will go back to your barracks. Not a word to anyone about out time together either boy. Understand me boy?  No matter what anyone says, you will keep your mouth shut. And tomorrow I expect you to excel in everything. Crush the course.  Do you understand?”</p><p>He nodded but didn’t met her eyes. For an instant she imagined throwing him in the trunk of a car and stealing him away but where could you go and avoid Shinra’s long arm? The Turks would hunt her down and kill her. And maybe him. That mattered to her more than it ever should. He was the finest clay she had every encountered and had the potential to be her master work.</p><p>She heard him clear his throat and she looked down. He smiled and buried his face in her again. True to form a few minutes later she was engulfed in ecstasy and he was staring down at her looking horrible pleased with himself.</p><p>“Now up you.”  Obediently he leapt out of bed, no longer conscious of his nudity.  “Knees.”  He fell effortlessly in front of her, bowed his head and folded his hands as if by training. She would need a copy of this book he found. No doubt placed by Shinra to make her job easier.</p><p>“You will shower and put on your uniform. Return to your barracks. Beside your bed you will find a pill and some water. You will take it.”</p><p>“What it is?” he asked and she instantly slapped him. His breath caught, his eyes showed a flare of disappointment and a sparkle of arousal. It was beautiful and she sighed.</p><p>“Rule one. When I tell you to open your mouth, you will do so and swallow without question whatever is in it. Do you understand?”</p><p>“Yes Beloved mistress.”</p><p>“Good. You will be awaken at 4:30 am and you will be given a daily lesson for the soldier exam. You will study it for one half hour and then you will prepare for the day and go to the line to wait for the rest of your platoon. You will tell no one what takes place between us. You will then train with the others and then you will come to me for dinner and training.  You are not allowed to eat the same thing as the others. No carbs, no sugar. Do you understand?”</p><p>“Yes Beloved mistress.” He intoned never looking up. Perfect. Born to it.</p><p>“I will not be here tomorrow when you get here, you will come in, shower with the products I have left for you and leave those filthy boots outside. You will then eat and sit on the couch until I return. Do you understand?”</p><p>“Yes. Beloved Mistress…”</p><p>She couldn’t bare it. She kneeled before him and tenderly lifted his face and placed little kisses on his face.  She then met his lips and kissed him deeply.</p><p>“Repeat after me. I belong to you. Body and soul.”</p><p>“I belong to you. Body and Soul.”</p><p>“I pledge myself to you. I will do as you say unquestioningly.”</p><p>“I pledge myself to you. I will do as you say unquestioningly.”</p><p>She saw him growing hard yet again. He wanted this more than anything. To be someone’s. He had obviously never had that.</p><p>She hugged him. “You’re mine” she whispered in his ear. She pushed him back and the face was stoic. But a tear rolled down his cheek.</p><p>She almost hated herself for what she had to do.</p><p>“Go now. See you tomorrow. Don’t be late, I’ll know.”</p><p>“Yes, beloved mistress” She stood and pulled him to his feet.  She walked him to the shower and watched him wash away their sex.  He finished and dried away the water, slipped on the uniform. She could see him change from the scared boy who’d just lost the last vestige of his innocence. He stood taller, transformed into a soldier. She knew he’d make it. Like Sephiroth before him, he’d been bred to it.  But he would be better then Seth. Harder to let go of.</p><p>“How old are you?” She asked.</p><p>“Seven… Eighteen”.</p><p>“How old are you?” She asked and slapped his ass hard.</p><p>“Seventeen. I’ll be Eighteen in a week.”</p><p>“Never lie to me again.” She said. He nodded.</p><p>She walked him to the door and kissed him good night. She watched him disappear into the darkness.</p><p>_________<br/>He found the pill beside his bed as she said and he slipped it into his mouth and swallowed hard. He undressed and climbed into bed. It was a half hour til lights out. It had been an eventful day and he didn’t even have the facility to comprehend it. He was high on the adrenaline and the sex. He could still smell her on him, still taste her clit and feel it on his tongue.</p><p>He lay there for twenty minutes and things began to feel relaxed and mellow. He was asleep by the time the others came in.<br/>________________________________</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Who am I?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Mara shows her true colors.  Cloud loses his virginity a second time.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Going deeper.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The Four Loves of Cloud Strife</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Part one – The Breaking of Cloud Strife</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Chapter two<br/>Who am I?</p>
<p>I want... to tell<br/>If I am or am not myself<br/>It's hard... to know<br/>How far or if it all could go<br/>Waited far... too long<br/>For something I forgot was wrong<br/>I don't know all the answers I think that I'll find<br/>Or have it within the time<br/>But it's all that I'll have in mind<br/>Until I fall away (until I fall away)<br/>I won't keep you waiting long<br/>Gin Blossoms, Until I fall away</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He opened his eyes again and the clock at the end of the barracks said 4:30. A man in a dark suit stood over him.</p>
<p>“Morning.” He whispered and rolled out of his cot.</p>
<p>“They cut your hair. Shame.” The man said with formal Midgardian Wu Tai accent. “Come with me.”</p>
<p>He was taken to the end of the barracks where a computer terminal sat. It glowed in the darkness and white noise filtered out of the static on the screen. He was placed in the chair and headphones were placed over his ears. </p>
<p>He was going to tell the Turk that had put him here that there was nothing but static but when he looked up again, he saw that it was already five and the man and the computer were gone. </p>
<p>He got ready for the day and was on the line with 10 minutes to spare.</p>
<p>*****</p>
<p>The Sargent came out of his own barracks and noticed him. He walked over and looked Cloud up and down.</p>
<p>“You kissing my ass?” He asked and Cloud allowed himself a slight smile. </p>
<p>“Sargent, No Sargent, special training. I was awoken @ 4:30.”</p>
<p>“Hum. Well, while your here you can drop and give me 20.”</p>
<p>Cloud smiled and started his push ups.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>*****</p>
<p>He thought about her during the day. When he had the time of course.</p>
<p>Today he was different. His body made corrections that shaved seconds off every physical activity. He was a bit more nimble. A bit more quick. He jumped higher. He easily made the top of the wall today. He was clearer too, his classes made more sense, and the tactics of things seemed to leapt to his mind in intricate pictures.</p>
<p>Most of the day, though, he was biding his time the way any young man with a beautiful, older sexual instructor does, ticking moments until he was back with her, in her, making her moan and feeling her tremble beneath him and...</p>
<p>Taps began and he remembered that he had once read on the web that men could be keyed by sexual experiences and sounds. “Great,” he thought, “I’m going to spend the rest of my life getting a hard on when I hear that Taps. That’s not weird at all.”</p>
<p>He started to move to her house, his feet getting lighter and he struggled not to break into a run.  A hand fell on his shoulder. He turned and it was his Sargent.</p>
<p>“Wanna grab a beer?” He said.</p>
<p>“I... didn’t think you guys drank with us…”</p>
<p>“We need to talk.” The Sargent looked deeply into his eyes and Cloud saw concern there.</p>
<p>“I can’t be late.”</p>
<p>“Look, just tell her…”  </p>
<p>The image of her telling him about the carrot and the stick flashed. He was terrified of her but also intoxicated. </p>
<p>“I can’t.  If I don’t go...It will be bad. I have to go.”</p>
<p>“Bad? Like what?”</p>
<p>“I can’t talk about it.” </p>
<p>“I’ll talk to her…”</p>
<p>Cloud grabbed his Sargent by the lapels. He pulled him behind the barracks.</p>
<p>“I can’t be late.” He said excitedly.</p>
<p>The Sargent grabbed Cloud’s hands. He almost disciplined the boy for grabbing him but saw the panic in his eyes. “Look, Mara is a lot of bark but…” He told the boy.</p>
<p>“If I don’t follow the rules she’ll tell her husband I raped her. If I play by the rules….”</p>
<p>“You get to be a Soldier. The fuck is she up to?  I’m mean she’s a bitch but she doesn’t usually… Kid, you’re in over your head…”</p>
<p>“I like it. ok. I’m fine.”</p>
<p>“Look Kid, I knew your father and I feel like I should look out for you, ya know…”</p>
<p>“You… You knew my dad?”</p>
<p>“Yeah. And I…”</p>
<p>“She will do it. I have to go. I have to be a Soldier. I promised… Someone.” Cloud barked.</p>
<p>“Go. But you let me know if she crosses a line.”  Cloud nodded and turned and ran up the hill to Mara’s house. </p>
<p>*****</p>
<p>He was in by 5:30, just made it and ran up the stairs and jumped in the shower. There was soap that smelled like lavender and shampoo like the soap rugged yet herbal. He got out and found a tooth brush and tooth paste, deodorant and cologne. There was a note instructing him to find a razor and shave, his face and also his private parts. That caught him aback. He did as instructed.</p>
<p>In the bedroom on the bed she had laid a pair of jeans and a white shirt with the mandarin collar like the Shinra men wore, a soft dark blue sweater and a pair of sneakers, he dressed and regarded himself in the mirror. It didn't look like him. The patched and threadbare tunic and pants he’d worn here were no doubt burned, though his mother had made them lovingly by hand. </p>
<p>He was a little frightened. He was afraid he might lose something of himself. There was much he’d already let go of, anger, loneliness, disenfranchisement. But he did have dreams and he had Tifa. She was the thing he was most afraid to lose. Beautiful Tifa. He might never have her but she was the dream.</p>
<p>He went downstairs and there were ribs and fresh vegetables, another fruit plate. Another Shake. He ate and then washed the dishes and went into the couch to sit and wait for her. </p>
<p>There was a TV and stereo, he went and turned on the music, found something he really liked a song he’d sung many times sitting but the window of his room, watching Tifa and her friends. </p>
<p>“Baby, I'm dancing in the dark with you between my arms<br/>Barefoot on the grass, listening to our favorite song<br/>When you said you looked a mess, I whispered underneath my breath<br/>But you heard it, darling, you look perfect tonight.”</p>
<p>The door opened and she came in. He stopped and jumped up, turned off the stereo and fell back onto the couch hoping to avert some punishment.</p>
<p>She stood over him, there was a small amount of terror in his eyes. He loved what she did to him but was afraid of what she could do.</p>
<p>“You have a lovely voice. Sing it to me…”</p>
<p>“Well.  It was for another girl…” He didn’t finish the statement. Something came out of the bag she was carrying and whipped across his face. It stung and brought stars to his eyes. He lay there for a minute breathing, trying to compose himself.  “What was her name?” She asked, no trace of anger in her voice. She was calm and controlled.</p>
<p>“Ti... Tifa….” He mumbled</p>
<p>“Tifa What?” Something in his mind seized ad suddenly he knew that no matter what he could not tell this woman anything more about Tifa. He would endure whatever she had to offer. But somewhere deep down he knew the Sargent was correct. Mara was dangerous</p>
<p>“Just Tifa, Beloved Mistress…”</p>
<p>Again the leather struck into him, this time his back as she turned from her. He was panicked. She took a step back.</p>
<p>“Kneel.” She said. </p>
<p>He crawled to the place in from of her and knelt before her, his eyes never left the ground but his hands hovered near his head to protect it. </p>
<p>“Open your mouth.” She said. He did and she shoved a pill in. He swallowed it. He could feel the welts on his face forming. He felt a tear in his eye, too.</p>
<p>“I’m sorry, Beloved mistress.” He whimpered.</p>
<p>“I didn’t give you permission to speak.” This time he saw what she had, a cat a nine tails. It flicked up expertly and came down on his back, but the sweater and shirt stopped most of the damage. She seemed to realize this. She frowned and stepped back again. </p>
<p>“Shirt off.” Slowly he lifted the sweater off and folded it neatly and then the shirt. He saw a drop of blood from the welt on his face on the collar. “And later you’ll clean that.”</p>
<p>“Yes, beloved mistress.”</p>
<p>“Now, back to this girl. Who do you belong to?”</p>
<p>“You, mistress….” He said cringing from her. </p>
<p>“That’s correct. Me. Sing me the song.”</p>
<p>Quietly at first, he began to sing. She smiled. Nodded. She let him finish. Then she leaned into his face.</p>
<p>“Now it’s for me. Let me explain this to you Cloud Strife. You belong to Shinra and they gave you to me. I own everything you have, everything you are. This flesh?” She flailed him again making him cry out, just for emphasis. “Mine. Every song you sing, every thought you think. The food you eat, the clothing you wear. Mine. And when I tell you to do something.” She used the handle of the whip to lift his mako blue eyes to her. “You will do it. Do you understand?”</p>
<p>“Yes, Yes My beloved mistress.”</p>
<p>“Now, this girl… What is her name?”</p>
<p>“Please, I will do anything, anything you ask if you just don’t hurt her. Please leave her out of this. She doesn’t even know I exist…” He fell to the floor at her feet and kissed her shoes. She smiled. </p>
<p>“You might not even take the full six weeks.” she said aloud. </p>
<p>He thought to ask what she meant but then took the safer course. “Yes, My beloved Mistress.”</p>
<p>She kneeled beside him and reached between his legs. He was getting hard. </p>
<p>“Do you like this?” She whispered in his ear.</p>
<p>He thought wildly for a correct response. Yes was not going to cut it this time, she was looking for an excuse to swing that thing.</p>
<p>“Does it please you to hurt me, my Mistress?”</p>
<p>“Oh, Cloud, I’m not doing this to please myself, I’m doing it to punish your very bad behavior. But since you asked. Yes, it does. Very much. You suffer so beautifully.”</p>
<p>He looked down then, and she stood.</p>
<p>“Lay flat on the floor, hands over your head.” He did so and felt the first lick of the cat strike him. He moaned, at first in pain and then in pleasure.</p>
<p>“I know a game.  Tonight you’ll call me Tifa.”  She heard his breath suck in and she knew she had him.</p>
<p>“Yes my…” he struggled with the word. “Tifa.”</p>
<p>“Tell me you want to fuck me.”</p>
<p>“I want to fuck you, Tifa.”</p>
<p>“Now, every time I strike you, you will say “Thank you, Tifa, May I have another?”</p>
<p>“Yes ma’am…” She struck him again, harder than she meant and he chirped in pain. “Yes, Tifa” He said through gritted teeth.</p>
<p>Over and over the lash came down, he lost count after seven. As suddenly as the assault started, it stopped. She knelt down and looked at his face.</p>
<p>“Pants.” She said.  Slowly he rose and dropped his pants, exposing a half erect member. </p>
<p>“Is it the pain, or the Tifa part that’s keeping you down?” she asked in a pouty voice.</p>
<p>“You know.” he replied and the cat stripped his left leg making him jump.</p>
<p>“The Tifa part.” he blurted.</p>
<p>“Upstairs” she ordered and he moved, but a little defiantly. She decided to fix that. They entered the bedroom.</p>
<p>“Lie down.” He did, his face set in something like determination, like anger. Easy enough to fix.</p>
<p>She climbed on top of him and rubbed her crotch against his. She felt him rising and smack his legs several times with the cat. He flinched but then moaned and grew harder.</p>
<p>She leaned down and put her lips on his ear. “You know, I bet she lives in Nibelheim. There are what, three, four hundred people there.”  He sucked in his breath again. “I could send a squad of men there They could find her. Tifa, how common a name is that. I could have her killed.” He tightened under her. “Or have her raped…” A sad sound escaped him. “Oooo, I know,  I could bring her here. I have a box under my bed and we could use her for a sex toy. What do you think?”  She leaned back and there it was again. Submission.  Confusion, and dawning comprehension and then abject submission.</p>
<p>“How may I please you, my mistress…? I am yours to command.”</p>
<p>“And Tifa?” She asked with a smile.</p>
<p>“Tifa who?” he replied. </p>
<p>“Good. And you will fuck me the way you want to fuck her. And you will call me by her name.”</p>
<p>He took a deep, shuddering breath. </p>
<p>“I love you. Tifa.” He whispered as he leaned up and pushed his lips to her throat. “I have since the fourth grade.” He leaned forward and kissed her, sweetly, gently and the innocent passion of it inundated her. It was timid but heartfelt and he trembled as his lips brushed hers. He leaned in then and kissed her more deeply.</p>
<p>“I love you too, Cloud.” She looked at him and he was crying. She restrained a smile. He fell on her then and overwhelmed her with his kiss, his hands rubbed her. It was like that teen-aged groping she barely remembered and it awoke something in her. </p>
<p>“Take me Cloud. I want you inside me.” He groaned heavily and rolled on top of her, over powering  her with his surprising weight, the stiffness of his cock. </p>
<p>“Oh!, Tifa, Oh! gods I want you.” He took off her shirt and undid her bra with clumsy, boyish hands and when it came off he sucked at her breasts, the nipples. She could tell he had invested a lot of thought into this, meticulously exploring her body for over an hour. He went down on her then and made her come three times before move up and inserting his huge, heavy cock in her. </p>
<p>She groaned then and he started with a slow, gently pushing and got faster and faster, harder and harder and she came again, and then again screaming his name. </p>
<p>“Oh, Fuck, Tifa I love you ugh, oh yeah that’s right cum for me. Yeah, aw, this is sooooo good baby. Ugh. Oh,  I’m close I’m so close….” It all came out in one breath and she knew he was not conscious of the words, he was lost in the fantasy of this Tifa girl.</p>
<p>“Do you love me Cloud?”</p>
<p>“Yeah, Yeah oh yeah.” He shuddered when he climaxed into her and then collapsed.</p>
<p>“Oh my… Cloud?”  He didn’t move. She shook him and became worried.  He shook his head and lifted his weight off her. No matter what, he was considerate. “Are you ok?”</p>
<p>“”I, ugh. I passed out. That was fucking intense.”</p>
<p>“Good.  Lie down on the bed, face down. You will now call me mistress.”</p>
<p>“Yes, my mistress.”</p>
<p>“Oh Cloud. I have one more surprise for you.”  She came up and she handcuffed him to the walls. He’d never noticed the clasps there for the restraints. She locked him spread eagle pulling his legs apart using the rough leather. </p>
<p>“I’ll be right back.” She said over her shoulder and bounced out of the room.</p>
<p>He lay there for what seemed forever. In the back of his mind crept a fear, something she might do but his thoughts would not say the word, he would not dare to think she might violate him that way. </p>
<p>A moment later she was back, behind him. He panicked now, the thought ripened and he knew the thing he didn’t want to think was about to happen. He struggled but was bond fast and felt a quick smack with the cat that made him settle down. </p>
<p>She was strapping something on herself, he couldn’t look, held his breath and forced back a tear. </p>
<p>A moment later the dildo slipped into his ass. He yelped and took a deep breath.</p>
<p>“Please don’t do this. Oh god it hurts, if fucking hurts Mara!” He whispered as a tear ran down his face. She shoved it in further, harder then she meant. taking his breath away and giving him stars for a second time that evening. </p>
<p>“Relax, I promise you’ll like this.” She shoved it further and he made a little gurgling noise. She pulled it out slowly and plunged it into him again. She heard him weep and smiled. </p>
<p>Again and again she plunged the dildo into him to almost its full length and he lay there, still and submissive, grunting as she sodomized him with the device. </p>
<p>After twenty minutes of carefully massaging his ass with the soft plastic toy she heard him speak weakly.</p>
<p>“What was that?” She asked. </p>
<p>“Please stop, I’ll do anything…”</p>
<p>“Does it still hurt?” She asked fucking him faster and harder with the toy. He groaned then and shuddered and moaned in pleasure. </p>
<p>“I’m… I’m close. I’m so close. Please, please don’t make me finish.” </p>
<p>She pressed him with the dildo until he shuddered violently one last time and groaned very loudly, his back arching and his face a mask of pure pleasure and collapsed. He jumped as she pulled it out of him and lay there, limp.</p>
<p>“Who do you belong to?” She asked.</p>
<p>“You, my beautiful, beloved mistress. You forever.”</p>
<p>“And Tifa?”</p>
<p>“She’s nothing by compare, you are so much more beautiful and desirable and I love you. I love you so much. I am yours.”</p>
<p>“Go shower and get dressed, It’s ten.” She unlocked him from the shackles and he stumbled into the bathroom rubbing his wrists and wiping tears from his face.</p>
<p>“Yes, my mistress.”  She followed, kissed him deeply at the bathroom door but when she looked in his eyes there was no spark. He was hers now.</p>
<p>He bathed and dressed silently and moved to the door. She followed and as he reached for the handle she cleared her throat. He turned to look at her, those broken eyes looking at her.</p>
<p>“Did you forget something?”</p>
<p>He walked to her and fell to his knees and threw his arms around her legs. </p>
<p>“You are my mistress whom I worship and adore.”  There was a real sense of begging in his voice though she didn’t know if it was real or just system shock.</p>
<p>“Good news. Friday we’ll have all weekend together.”  He stood then and kissed her deeply. </p>
<p>“I am yours.” He said and left the house.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>*****</p>
<p>Five minutes later, there was a knock on the door. She opened it without looking and turned back to grab her vodka tonic off the end table.</p>
<p>“I told you that Tifa would be a problem.” Hojo said as he slithered into the room. </p>
<p>“Oh Hojo. For a man who is so smart, you are so stupid. Tifa is gold. She’s the best thing that ever happened to us.”</p>
<p>“He’s obsessed with her.”</p>
<p>“Yes? And?”</p>
<p>“She’s a distraction from studies and training…”</p>
<p>“She’s a control harness…”</p>
<p>“What?” </p>
<p>“He just let me shove 12 inches of plastic up his ass to protect her. You can’t buy a harness like that. He won’t be arguing about anything. And the beautiful part is he thinks its his fault I know about her.”</p>
<p>“You are an evil genius.” Hojo said with a grin.</p>
<p>“Yes, and remember he’s mine for 6 full weeks No pulling him early.”</p>
<p>“Falling in love are we?”</p>
<p>“I don’t know if I can love. But the boy is the best toy I ever had. Can you make one for me?”</p>
<p>“Sorry, this one has cost us 500 thousand gil so far.  I’m expecting much better result from this one than the last, though Sephiroth is an amazing design.”</p>
<p>“Only you could call your sons designs.”</p>
<p>“I just contributed the sperm, my dear Jenova gets all the credit. They are her sons.”</p>
<p>“Do they know about each other?”</p>
<p>“Cloud has a well controlled hero worship for Seth. Seth doesn’t even know Cloud exists. If he did he’d be even harder to control then he is now. He believes in all that honor and family and duty dreck.” Hojo spat and sat.</p>
<p>“Well Cloud going well. He’s an excellent student. I’ve already broken a couple of levels of his defenses. Tifa has been invaluable.”</p>
<p>“Tomorrow?” He asked.</p>
<p>“I was thinking about the club but I don’t want to rush him. The play room. What book did you leave for him in the woods?”</p>
<p>“Nice touch, eh? We discovered with Sephiroth that sex was an excellent control for the boys. That girl he fell in love with, she was brilliant. Shame we had to separate them as we did. He still gets all maudlin over her. I can get you the name of the book. Something called “The Breaking of San” or some nonsense.  Why?”</p>
<p>“He’s half trained already.”</p>
<p>“I’ll congratulate Tseng. It was his choice. A favorite of his. Tseng cares the boy too much though. I might have hmi removed from the project.”</p>
<p>“No, Tseng is a good choice. He can be hard if he needs to. Tseng is a good tool.”</p>
<p>“Well, this is your show, but remember he has to be ready for Andrew in a week and a half.”</p>
<p>“I do wish you’d consider taking time with this, no shortcuts…”</p>
<p>“President Shinra wants results. I agree with you but some things must be done to get money for important things.”</p>
<p>“He’ll be ready. If I had six months I could get him ready for the Daz without thug tactics. He’d be more stable for you.”</p>
<p>“Time is expensive. Besides you’re just buying time to play with your new toy. Report to me Sunday when you drop him off.”</p>
<p>“Your experiment.” she sighed and took a deep drink of the alcohol. Hojo stood and left without a word.</p>
<p>*****<br/>Cloud lay in his bunk. There had been a glass of blue liquid and another pill. He’s chased the second with the first and lay down. </p>
<p>His body was feeling wonderful light and floaty and he could feel little electric pulses of magic coursing through him. His heart, though, that was troubled.</p>
<p>It had been the most painful thing he’d ever experienced and he’d wanted it to stop. At first. But then, slowly it had become pleasurable, intensifying and the orgasm had been amazing. </p>
<p>And what did that make him? He had never thought of himself as gay or bi, he had been sure he preferred woman and had never found a man attractive but…. It felt so good… </p>
<p>He heard the jeers of the boys in Nibelheim. “Faggot Cloud. Queer boy. Weirdo.” Was it true? He had no real opinion of homosexuality. No experience with it but if what the others said was true it made him a freak of the highest caliber. </p>
<p>He dozed with these thoughts swirling in his head.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Heart of Darkness</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Maybe things aren't what you think they are...</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The Four Loves of Cloud Strife</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Part one – The Breaking of Cloud Strife</p>
<p>Part 3 Heart of Darkness.</p>
<p>And you, why you wanna stay?<br/>Oh my God! Have you listened to me lately?<br/>Lately, I've been fucking crazy<br/>There are some nights I wait for someone to save us<br/>But I never look inward, try not to look upward<br/>And some nights I pray a sign is gonna come to me<br/>But usually, I'm just trying to get some sleep<br/>Fun Some nights</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He started when someone shook him. He sat up and the man in the dark suit was standing over him.</p>
<p>“What’s your name?” Cloud asked as he stood up and followed the man to the computer, a void of white light and buzzing static in the dark, silent barracks.</p>
<p>“Tseng, I’m your handler.”</p>
<p>“My what?”</p>
<p>“Sit,” Cloud did, though it was still a little uncomfortable.  He looked at the screen and then looked back up at Tseng.</p>
<p>The man was gone and it was edging on dawn. The computer was gone as well. He got up and got ready for his day.</p>
<p>________</p>
<p>Cloud sat at the edge of the parade yard cleaning swords and weapons and watching the world pass. There was a faint breeze but here on this plain this close to the desert, it was hot and empty.</p>
<p>The Sargent approached him.</p>
<p>“Saw you limping home…” He began and looked around to make sure they weren’t being watched.</p>
<p>“Yup.” Cloud growled.</p>
<p>“I think you meant Yup, Sargent. You want to talk about it?”</p>
<p>“Never. If I live to be a million. I never want to talk about it.” He said.</p>
<p>“What the hell did she do to you.”</p>
<p>“All due respect, Sarge, what a man does with the woman who is blackmailing him into kinky sex should be private.”</p>
<p>“Fair enough. You were off on the course today. She’ll be pissed. I’d be careful.”</p>
<p>“Thanks for the heads up.”</p>
<p>“Man, If you keep sitting here looking pissed at the world somebodies gonna ask questions…”</p>
<p>“Someone is.” Cloud grunted.</p>
<p>“OK, I’ll leave you here to lick your wounds.” The Sargent said.</p>
<p>“I can’t reach my wounds.” Cloud replied and jumped up. “Sargent, what would you like the Private to do now?”</p>
<p>“Maybe open up to a friend?”</p>
<p>“Don’t have any, next?”</p>
<p>“Look….”</p>
<p>“She whips me til I bleed, and worse and I just don’t want to relive it. And you know the worst part? She hasn’t found anything yet that I apparently don’t like. So, see the problem isn’t her, it’s me, I’m a sick fuck and a freak…:</p>
<p>“You’re an 18 year old kid under the spell of a harpy.”</p>
<p>“There’s this girl back home. I don’t want her to get… involved.”</p>
<p>“Mara wouldn’t…”</p>
<p>“Yeah? I told her the girl’s name last night and believe me she would. After what she did last night….”</p>
<p>“Are you alright?”</p>
<p>“If we’re done here, I’d like to take another shot at that course. Maybe save myself some skin tonight.” Cloud said, ending the conversation.</p>
<p>“Yeah, go ahead.”</p>
<p>Cloud launched himself into a run and a moment later he was tearing up the course.</p>
<p>____________<br/>Sargent Jude Mayer walked into his office. It was cooler here and he dropped his hat on his desk. It was quiet, he was alone.  </p>
<p>He took out his cell phone and hit speed dial 2. There was a moment and the smooth English accent filled the line.</p>
<p>“Yes Jude.”</p>
<p>“Raph, what the hell have you gotten me into?” He asked, leaned back.</p>
<p>“I told you, it’s a psychological experiment. We’re trying to break down his core personality and….”</p>
<p>“By letting Mara rape him? He’s a kid, Raph, 17 tops. I thought this was an older candidate and a volunteer. I thought you meant exercise and carb loading not torture…”</p>
<p>“This candidate is very special…”</p>
<p>“She’s raping him, whipping him. He’s got fading whip scars. Seriously, you got about ten seconds to tell me why I don’t grab this kid, take him to Midgar and put him on the fucking news.”</p>
<p>“Tseng would cut your head off.”</p>
<p>“I know you probably forgot this, but some things are worth dying for.”</p>
<p>“You and your conscious. Be there for him. Let him lean on you and watch him. Let me know if you see any negative effects…”</p>
<p>“Ya mean like limping back to the barracks with blood dripping down his leg? Something like that Raph?”</p>
<p>“Fine, I’ll schedule a weekend respite for him. And I’ll talk to her about dialing it back.”</p>
<p>“You do that. I got my eye on you people. He’s a kid, God damnit.”</p>
<p>“And that is why you are in place. To keep him safe and sane.”</p>
<p>Jude hung up.<br/>____________</p>
<p>She opened the door for him as he walked up the walkway.</p>
<p>“Prompt, I love it. Come in.” He stopped and slipped off his boots and socks and dropped them outside her door.</p>
<p>He slid past her and looked at her out of the side of his eyes like she was venomous and unpredictable.</p>
<p>“Your dinner is on the table.”</p>
<p>Wordlessly he moved toward the kitchen. She reached out and grabbed his hair and pulled him back.</p>
<p>“Did we forget something?” She asked letting the door slam. He came back moaning softly.</p>
<p>A moment later he was kneeling before her, eyes down and hands folded. He was silent.</p>
<p>She pulled his face up and slapped him. The Mako blue eyes closed and opened but there was not much to read there.</p>
<p>“Thank you beloved mistress. May I have another?” It was almost sarcastic. This one had some secret resilience. Just when she thought she had brought him to heel, he found another way to defy her.</p>
<p>“If you don’t want to spend the rest of the night with your legs spread and a broom handle in your ass you will fall in line, Cloud Strife.”</p>
<p>“Yes Ma’am.” He said suddenly. His eyes came back to life and there he was again, wide eyed, a little frightened and excited.</p>
<p>“Are you ok?” She asked.</p>
<p>“I’ve felt a little funny since this morning, My mistress. Since class….”</p>
<p>“Tactics?”</p>
<p>“No, the special Shinra Lesson.”  </p>
<p>“Oh,” she said and made a note to mention to Hojo that maybe his machine was calibrated too high. “Fine, Kiss me and then go change. We have something special planned today.”</p>
<p>“Yes mistress.”  He stood and went up to shower.</p>
<p>“Wait.” he turned back and she walked to him.  “Open.”  He did and swallowed the two pills. She slapped his ass as he turned to mount the stairs.</p>
<p>*****</p>
<p> She grabbed the phone.</p>
<p>“Hojo.” He said.</p>
<p>“Watch your machine. He came in here a zombie.”</p>
<p>“Interesting, we are introducing new logarithms and there might be some… deviation.”</p>
<p>“He’s mine for 6 weeks…”</p>
<p>“And I promised to follow your instruction. Hire professionals and get out of their way my father always said. I’ll remove the new data.”  </p>
<p>She hung up and walked up the stairs. He was in the shower, she could hear him singing and smiled. If only Shinra wasn’t everywhere…</p>
<p>A moment later he came out, naked and pink from the heat of the water. She rose and walked over to him, pulled him close and kissed him. He returned the kiss instinctively.</p>
<p>She pulled him to the bed and slipped off her underwear from beneath the brown skirt and climbed on top of him. He was already hard, of course, one of the advantages of young lovers. He trembled and bite his lip as she slipped him inside her and then groaned heavily as she moved back and forth. She leaned forward and kissed him.</p>
<p>“Oh Mistress..”</p>
<p>“Mara, Call me Mara.” She whispered and shoved her tongue down his throat. She sucked at his tongue, and he flipped her over on her back, drove himself deep inside her and then pulled out. He pumped her brutally and after she came the third time in rapid succession he came in her, wordless still, and when he was done he kept kissing her, and she could feel him growing hard again…</p>
<p>“You need to eat.”</p>
<p>“I need you, Mara I need you.” He plead with her and she almost acquiesced but she pushed him away. He thrashed like a wild animal and growled but finally leaned away.</p>
<p>“Please. Oh please I need you.” He whispered as he kissed her neck one last time.</p>
<p>“Are you disobeying me?” She said in her best Dom voice and he fell back, landed on the floor in front of her on his knees. Head bowed, hands folded in front of him.</p>
<p>“Go and eat.” she said and he rose.</p>
<p>“Yes, beloved mistress.” He didn’t even bother to dress.</p>
<p>A few minutes later she had her composure back and wandered down the stairs. He was finishing the food at the kitchen table.</p>
<p>She picked up the napkin and touched his cheek with it.</p>
<p>“What was the name of that book of yours?” She asked casually.</p>
<p>“The one from the woods? The breaking of Sanjo.”  She smiled. She’d downloaded it last night and consumed it. Tonight it would become reality.</p>
<p>“Oh, yes, I’ve read that. Put your plate away and come with me.” He did as she bid and then followed her. She stopped before the door beneath the stair.  “There was this one scene. I wouldn’t want to give it away…” She pulled out a blindfold. “Knees.”</p>
<p>He fell before her and she covered his eyes. “No peeking.”</p>
<p>“Never my Mistress.” She opened the door and carefully guided him down the stairs. She could tell he didn’t trust her because he clung to the wall and steadied his foot falls. Smart boy.</p>
<p>“I have decided that when you are with me, you will no longer be Cloud Strife. Your new name is Jaziel Fentua. You will respond to that or Jaz or Jaziel. Do you understand?”</p>
<p>“Yes, my Mistress.”</p>
<p>“Jaz, stand right here.” He did as she bid. She went and collected the heavy chain that hung from the ceiling. “Have you forgiven me for taking your virginity last night.”</p>
<p>He hesitated for a moment, still a little sting there. “It was yours to take, my Mistress..”</p>
<p>“Yes, it was. You are correct.  Hands front.”  He instantly moved his hands forward. She clamped the shackles and the walked over to the motor, turning it on and lifting him up roughly, to his tiptoes. He gasped and barked in surprise and she pulled off the blindfold. His eyes moved over the well appointed dungeon. Cat o’ nine tails and other whips lined the walls, and various clips and pins. She moved to the wall and pulled off some clips and moved before him.</p>
<p>His breath huffed in anticipation. She suspected this would have been one of his favorite scenes. She slipped on the clips and then took a delicate silver chain and clipped them together. She gave them a tug and he moaned.</p>
<p>She took a few minutes to select just the right tool and came upon a whippy little crop. She tested it and looked at him. His eyes were wide and wet with excitement. Gooseflesh covered his body.</p>
<p>She walked behind him and hesitated, then cracked it against his white ass. A noise half cough and half grunt escaped him and a drop of precum leaked down his leg. She did it again and then again and each time he grew wetter and the groans were deeper.</p>
<p>She moved next to him. She grabbed a stool and stood on it and she was about the same height as his six feet. “I’m going to make you scream in pain and then I’m going to make you scream in pleasure and then, maybe you can cum for me. Maybe.”</p>
<p>“Yes. Yee. Yes Mistress.” She hit him 20 times in rapid succession.</p>
<p>“Ah!” he offered weakly.  She leapt off the stool and moved in front of him. She leaned over and took his member in her mouth and sucked hard. He squirmed and his feet came off the ground making it more painful in his arms, just like in the book. He had memorized this scene.</p>
<p>His breath quickened and she knew he was close, she stopped and slapped his cock with the crop and he cried out.</p>
<p>“I am forgetting something.” She said. “Oh, yes. Costuming. Wait here.”  She turned and left the room, not paying attention to what he mumbled to her back.</p>
<p>______</p>
<p>He had been fourteen when he found the book, that impressionable time in a person’s sexual development and he had read it through once in an afternoon, hardly understanding the things it made him feel. He read it a second and a third before he had the nerve to masturbate to it. By seventeen it was burned in his brain like a religious text.</p>
<p>His mother had almost found it several times before he found both a safe place to hide it and a safe place to enjoy it, the attic. A lot of his junior and senior high years were spent there, the book in one hand and himself in the other. And Tifa was often cast as the woman in red.</p>
<p>His cock was harder than it had ever been and it throbbed with pain. He wished she’d come back…</p>
<p>________</p>
<p>She took her time dressing, putting on the perfect amount of perfume and reglossing her lips. She listen at the door as he struggled and burbled.</p>
<p>Her heels tapped on the cement floor as she came down the stairs and she moved in front of him, all in red. Red garter, red camisole, red robe. She grabbed a cat o’ nine tails and walked around him studying him.</p>
<p>“Where should I begin?” She said. He was silent, fidgeted in his bonds. She whipped him several times across his back and was impressed at the red welts on the bright white skin.</p>
<p>He was pliable and open now and she decided I was time to confuse him and plant some ideas, break some defenses.</p>
<p>“You know, you have never had a chance. It was all planned from the start. Who you would be. Everything that lead you to my torture chamber. Someone left that book for you.”</p>
<p>“Why?” He managed to huff.</p>
<p>“Well, to get you ready for me, of course.” She replied.</p>
<p>She looked at him, gauging his reaction and decided he was ready.</p>
<p>“Wha… what? Destiny?” He breathed.</p>
<p>“No stupid. Shinra. They own you. You are their property and always have been. You aren’t a person, you’re a possession.”  Before he could react she put her mouth on him and sucked him right to the edge of orgasm and then stopped.</p>
<p>“Please.” He breathed and she walked around behind him and shoved the leather handle of the cat in his rear about four inches. He didn’t protest this time, he took it like and man and after a squeak of pain  he groaned. She fucked him with it for a long moment.</p>
<p>“Unn.. Yeah, unnn…” he finally murmured.</p>
<p>“Are you my little slut?” She asked</p>
<p>“Yes, My mistress!” He sounded barely conscious and she went and loosed the chains. He fell to the floor in a heavy thump and lay there, drooling, the cat still lodged in his ass.</p>
<p>“Let’s prove it.” She said and disappeared out of his view. She returned with something small in her hands that he couldn’t see. She held it up and it was a small metal “M” with a handle behind it…</p>
<p>“Is that a…?”</p>
<p>“Brand?  Yes. But don’t worry. Brands tend to get infected and I can’t have that.”</p>
<p>He started to get nervous. She had that coo in her voice he’d learned to fear. She dipped the brand in a metal cup of solution and came over to him. He tensed.</p>
<p>“Don’t move or I’ll have to do it again.” She said and touched it to his skin right above his left hip bone. At first it was just cold, but the it began to hurt and got more and more intense. There was a smell and he called out, and screamed a little. It was difficult, damn near impossible not to try to shake her off but he didn’t want to go through this again.</p>
<p>Tears came to his eyes and he hissed.  She pulled the brand away.</p>
<p>“Aneligic acid. Not even a healing potion will repair the damage. It just needs to heal. And then it will be a perfect scar.  So you never forget who you belong to.”</p>
<p>The smell of metal filled his nostrils and burning flesh. The pain didn’t subside, like any other burn it stayed fresh.</p>
<p>“Can you get up, Jaziel?” He didn’t respond. She slapped him “Jaz?!” He suddenly remembered and nodded.</p>
<p> She helped him stand.  She turned him around and showed a device to him for the first time. This was a moment Cloud would recall frequently in the coming years. This was a device of his worst pain and most ecstatic pleasure and merely being near one would bring blood to his cock. She pulled the cat out of him and he grunted.</p>
<p>“It’s called a bike. Because you sit in it like a motorcycle.”  She took the key from her bra and unlocked his shackles which fell to the floor. “Put your hand here.”  He leaned forward submissively. “Slide your hand in the cuff and grab the bar.  He did and she locked the cuff into place. If covered his arm almost to his elbow. They repeated the operation with the other side and he weakly lifted his leg over the seat when she bid him. There was a cuff at an angle to the bike, much as a motorcycle would push your leg up. A moment later he was locked in both legs. A cup wrapped around his cock and balls snugly and she tightened it to an almost uncomfortable degree.</p>
<p>“Comfy?” She asked.</p>
<p>“Yes, Beloved Mistress.”  She thought he might be losing consciousness and so she went to the cabinet and grabbed a potion. “Drink.” He did and immediately his eyes were brighter and he seemed more conscious.  “Open.” she said and slipped another pill in his mouth and chased it with more of the potion.  “How do you feel?”</p>
<p>“Better. Mistress.” he said.</p>
<p>“Good, because I need you to pay attention. Tomorrow night we are going out to the club. You must be on your best behavior and if you aren’t a Shinra special combat team is on a helicopter to Nibelheim. Are we clear?”</p>
<p>The terror was back in his eyes and she hoped to meet this Tifa someday, to thank her. Possible with him watching the encounter, the tears this Tifa might cry, or her indifference. Both of those things would break him. There was a team in Nibelheim as she spoke, getting pictures of everything Cloud had ever loved.</p>
<p>“Do exactly as I say.” She whispered. He nodded uncertainly. “Open.”  He did and she walked over to a   drawer and pulled out a shiny latex cock about the size of his own.  His shut his mouth and gritted his teeth.  </p>
<p>“We can do this the hard way...” From the same drawer, she pulled out some wicked looking metal gear like a set of braces. He took a deep breath and that look appeared in his eyes that was starting to be part of her arousal system. He opened his mouth again. She slipped in the dildo. “Suck.”</p>
<p>He did, and again he teared up. She watched him for a moment and suddenly something vicious crossed her mind, an urge she might not have resisted even if she had tried.</p>
<p>“Relax your throat or this is really going to hurt.” He whimpered round the dildo and then gagged as she pushed hard down into his throat. He struggled and she pulled it out. He coughed hard and she gave him a moment and then hit the switch and the mount of the bike flipped over and he found himself suspended upside down. He yelped. “Mistress, I am so sorry, I love you please… Fuck please stop!”</p>
<p>She moved over and pulled his head back. Again she shoved the cock deep in his throat and he gagged and struggled. She fucked his mouth until he stopped crying and just tried to breath between strokes.  “Now you have it.” She cooed as she pulled it back so it was filling his mouth but not in his throat.</p>
<p>“Suck” she ordered and he did. She reached over and grabbed his flaccid cock. It responded to the warmth of her hand limply as he sucked on the rod and she worked it, made it hard again remarkably quickly. She’d gone off script but this was still the room of his dream, his twisted little Nibelheim fantasy and he responded.</p>
<p>He was crying as he orgasmed and she pulled the toy out of his mouth and flipped the switch to turn him right side up.</p>
<p>“Nine thirty.  I need a drink. You stay there and think about what a whore you are. Maybe I’ll bring you something.” She said.</p>
<p>He went limp on the bike and his body trembled.</p>
<p>Twenty minutes later she came down stairs carrying 2 drinks. She put them down and released him from his bonds. He fell to the concrete floor and laid there. She sat beside him in the red negligee and put his head in her lap. She held him up and put the drink in his hand. He waited, watching her like she was a wolf.  </p>
<p>“You may drink.”  He took a sip and now that his head was clearing he realized he was very high from some drug. It felt good, numb. He downed the drink and she took the glass and put it down.</p>
<p>She threw her leg over him and fucked him there on the concrete floor. Made him cum wordlessly, coldly. And then shoved a twenty Gil piece in his hand. She got up. “You can go now.” She left him lying there on the floor.</p>
<p>He came upstairs and silently went into the shower, cleaned up. He came out in his uniform looking like a Shinra, only sad.</p>
<p>“You know I’m not gay, right?” He said his voice rough and cracking.</p>
<p>“Yes. That’s why it humiliates you so.” <br/>He cracked his neck and crossed his arms.</p>
<p>“Did I please you Mistress?” he asked. His voice and his eyes were hard.</p>
<p>She walked to him and stood on her tiptoes and kissed his cheek. He pulled her into his arms and kissed her deeply.</p>
<p>“See you tomorrow. A little early. And Jazriel.”</p>
<p>He turned at the name. He glared at her and she wasn’t sure if it was contempt or desire.</p>
<p>“Yes, beloved Mistress?”</p>
<p>“Don’t fuck up the course tomorrow. I have money on you.”</p>
<p>He hesitated and then looked her full in the eye. “Who the fuck is stupid enough to bet against me?” he said and turned, went down the stairs and was gone before she could catch up.</p>
<p>_____________</p>
<p>Memo to Dr Hojo Exercise caution. There appears to be some splintering of subject Jen2’s personality. After Friday night exercise he will be given pre approved respite, two days. Returned to Shinra custody Sunday afternoon. - N Nokiera</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. A Member of the Club</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Mara goes way to far.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The Four Loves of Cloud Strife</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Part one – The Breaking of Cloud Strife</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Chapter 4<br/>A Member of the Club</p>
<p>I'm bringin' sexy back (yeah)<br/>Them other boys don't know how to act (yeah)<br/>I think it's special, what's behind your back (yeah)<br/>So turn around and I'll pick up the slack (yeah)<br/>Dirty babe<br/>You see these shackles, baby <br/>I'm your slave<br/>I'll let you whip me if I misbehave<br/>It's just that no one makes me feel this way<br/>Sexy Back, Justin Timberlake. <br/>________<br/>Four thirty came early and again Tseng was there.</p>
<p>Cloud had a hard time talking and so remained silent. Tseng looked at him with something akin to pity and laced with anger. He turned on the machine and was gone when Cloud came back to consciousness.</p>
<p>He did his daily routine and then waited on the line and the Sargent came out.</p>
<p>“Early day again, Strife?”  Cloud offered him a little smile and a nod.  “Son this is the army. Nodding ain’t gonna cut it.”</p>
<p>“Sargent, yes Sargent.” Cloud hissed, his voice an angry growl.  </p>
<p>“Want to talk about it?”</p>
<p>“Let’s just say I nailed it last night and move on, shall we?”</p>
<p>The Sargent nodded and sighed. “Report to the infirmary.”</p>
<p>Cloud nodded and ran in the direction of the red cross.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>________</p>
<p>Sitting on the table Cloud became aware of the nurses staring and talking. One doctor had taken a look at his throat and disappeared. Finally a tall man with a crooked smile and small eyes came over and took a light out of his pocket.</p>
<p>He turned and looked at the nurses and pulled the curtain with enough force to let them know they were out of line.</p>
<p>“I’m Dr Hamm. And you are Mara’s new toy?”</p>
<p>Cloud sighed and nodded.</p>
<p>Dr Hamm handed him a potion which he popped the top off and quaffed in one pull.</p>
<p>“You know how to use materia boy?’ The doctor asked and opened a drawer, pulling out a green crystal ball.</p>
<p>“I didn’t think just anyone could use materia.” He said, his voice back to normal and the burning in his throat gone.</p>
<p>“I suspect you can. You got the look.”  He put the stone in Cloud’s hand. “You need to figure out your verbal component and concentrate on what you want. Healing. To be cured. Try it.”</p>
<p>“Just anything? What should I say?”</p>
<p>“What makes you feel better?”</p>
<p>“I’m fine.” Cloud returned.  He was surrounded by a green light. He shivered “OK, wow.”</p>
<p>“Of course you’re a natural.” The doctor said, somewhat sarcastically. I’d get a night bag and keep that in it. Sometimes Mara forgets to repair her toys when she breaks them.”</p>
<p>“Yes sir. Can I go?”</p>
<p>“Yup. Kick the shit out of the course today kid”.</p>
<p>Cloud smiled and walked out holding the green glowing orb tightly.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>_________<br/>He showed up on her doorstep covered in grime and sweat holding his boots in his hand. He dropped them and leaned over and kissed her quickly, getting mud on her face.</p>
<p>“OK, that’s disgusting.” She replied.</p>
<p>He slipped past her and gingerly, not touching anything made his way to the shower. He climbed in fully clothed and slipped off the uniform. She came up with a plastic bag and held it out. He smiled wide and turned on the shower head, dropping the clothes in the bag at the same time.</p>
<p>“Want to join me, my Mistress?”</p>
<p>“Maybe once you wash off a couple of pounds of the yard. What happened? Why are you in such a good mood?”</p>
<p>“They wet the yard and that was FUN! And I got this!” He held out the muddy materia.</p>
<p>“Can you use that? Where did you get it?” She asked.</p>
<p>“Yes Doctor Hamm showed me. Sarge sent me to the infirmary. It’s a cure and it’s the fucking bomb.” She smiled at his exuberance and decided to let him have his moment.</p>
<p>Slowly he turned back into Cloud and the mud monster slipped away. His mood remained high, though.</p>
<p>“I’m first with materia and the first to learn to use it. Sarge said.”</p>
<p>“You should keep that with you tonight. And I packed you a bag.”</p>
<p>He climbed out of the shower and dried off.</p>
<p>He started to dry his hair but she took the towel and did it for him. She took her fingers and concentrated. He felt magic, a feeling he thought he would never get used to it was euphoric and tickled his scalp. He turned and looked in the mirror and his hair was longer, not its former glorious spikes but long enough to be stylish.</p>
<p>“How did you do that?” he asked and she held out her own materia.</p>
<p>“Orange materia is creative materia. I’m not much with magic, though. I can do a little. Add an inch to your hair. Go in and sit on the bed and I’ll take out some clothes for you.</p>
<p>He waited for her, there was something special in the air. She sat next to him with a bag that she put on the bed. First she took out a necklace.</p>
<p>“This is your first time at the club so you can take that but never again. Use it if you need it.” She slipped the materia into the necklace slot and slid the chain over his neck. She then took out some makeup.</p>
<p>He almost objected but instead relaxed his face.</p>
<p>“Look up” she told him as she added a little masacara and eyeliner. She added a little darker color to his lip. “Perfect.”</p>
<p>“Thank you, mistress.”</p>
<p>She went to the closet and pulled out a crisp white Shinra Shirt and a velvet blazer, blue jeans and loafers. She tossed them to him and he put them on. “I take it I’m free balling?” he asked and she nodded, silent and somber. “Did I do something wrong mistress??” He asked suddenly concerned, reading her.</p>
<p>“No, dress.” He did and she watched. “I think you are the most beautiful thing I have ever seen.”</p>
<p>He blushed and came over, fell to his knees before her. The jeans were tight and he exhaled heavily.</p>
<p>“I’ll be good tonight, I promise” he said. He was so happy.  </p>
<p>“Open,” she ordered and he did compliantly. He swallowed the three pills she put in his mouth. “That will help.” She said and he wondered what that meant.</p>
<p>She took him downstairs and had him eat his dinner while she dressed.</p>
<p>She returned in red, a gown of velvet with a corset top and her hair coiffed to perfection. He dropped his fork and stood, mesmerized. He moved to her unthinking and leaned over and kissed her.</p>
<p>“We could stay here. You can do anything to me.” he offered and nibbled her neck.  </p>
<p>“I wish we could…” There was a knock on the door. “The car is here.” She said. He followed her to the town car.</p>
<p>He leaned against her and nuzzled her all the way there and she would periodically give him small kisses. The car stopped in front of an abandoned looking building.</p>
<p>“We’re here.”  The driver opened the door and they got out. They were buzzed in immediately.</p>
<p>“Mara! And this is?” Asked the doorman.</p>
<p>“Jazriel. He is my new acquisition. Is Tenishi here yet?” She asked.</p>
<p>“By the bar. But your slave needs a collar.”</p>
<p>“Oh, of course, I forgot.” She turned and had Cloud lean down and she clipped it on his neck. His eyes never raised from the floor as she did this and suddenly she didn’t want to go through with tonight. But he wasn’t really hers, was he?</p>
<p>They entered the room that was all black leather and red crushed velvet where various Masters and slaves wandered around in various states of dress. She took and table and sat. He waited. She knew he would.</p>
<p>“Kneel.” she said and he did and put his head in her lap like a cat. She stroked his hair.</p>
<p>Tenishi spotted her and came over. He kissed her cheek and looked at Cloud.</p>
<p>“Is this him?” He asked and she nodded. “Hum. Very pretty. Nash will like him.”</p>
<p>Cloud looked at her with alarm. She gave him a wicked smile.</p>
<p>He pulled up Cloud’s face and looked deeply into his eyes, murmuring. “Let’s see the goods. Undress!” He commanded.</p>
<p>Cloud just looked at him not sure what to do. She smiled and looked back at Tenishi.</p>
<p>“He’s well trained. Undress.” she said and he stood and took off his clothing, the look in her eyes letting him know that shyness would be punished later.</p>
<p>He realized everyone in the room was watching and he had trouble breathing. He felt exposed and dirty. He stood there naked.</p>
<p>Tenishi poked at his flaccid cock.</p>
<p>“Well it doesn’t get hard when you shove a Gil in him.” Mara said.</p>
<p>“We’re shoving a lot of Gil.” Tenishi countered.  He listened for a minute and Cloud realized he had a listening device in his ear. The old Japanese man shoved his phone across the counter and she looked at it and nodded.</p>
<p>“Jaz. You will go with this man and listen to his Master as you would me. There will be serious punishment if you don’t”.</p>
<p>He looked at her helplessly and shook his head almost imperceptible but she just leaned back and looked at the phone screen.</p>
<p>Tenishi tugged on the collar and Cloud had no choice but to follow.</p>
<p>__________</p>
<p>Cloud was taken naked into an 8 by ten room that was mirror on three sides and concrete in all the other places. In the ceiling were chains like the ones in Mara’s basement and in the floor was a drain which concerned him. A cross leaned against the back wall and in the middle of the room a bike like the one from last night.</p>
<p>“You know the procedure?” Tenishi asked and Cloud nodded timidly. He put his hand in the cuff of the bike and felt the old man snap it shut and lock it. It was too tight and he knew he’d have bruises.</p>
<p>Soon he was in the bike and could not have escaped if he wanted.</p>
<p>And then the lights came up. One of the mirrored walls was two way mirror and about fifteen people stood behind it watching him greedily.  </p>
<p>Mara was front and center. She smiled and waved.</p>
<p>He looked away from her.</p>
<p>A moment later two men entered the room. One of them was small and mousy with curly hair and dark eyes and beside him was a man trying very hard to look like Sephiroth. The hair was long and silver and the eyes, clearly contacts were cat’s eyes.</p>
<p>The taller one came close.</p>
<p>“I am Nash and for the next two hours you are mine.  Look at me, boy.”</p>
<p>Cloud looked up and Nash gasped. “Beautiful! I have never seen Mako eyes! Distinctive! Get Doctor Koo in here.</p>
<p>Cloud struggled remembering Mara’s earlier threat of pulling his eyes out.</p>
<p>“Relax.” Nash ordered and he did but it took all of his will.</p>
<p>Cloud shook his head and looked away.</p>
<p>“Why don’t you speak? Say something” Nash gushed. “A real Mako tanker is something I have always wanted to see!”</p>
<p>“You didn’t give me permission to speak.” Cloud offered.</p>
<p>Nash whooped with delight. “He is PERFECT! Isn’t he?”</p>
<p>Another older Asian man entered the room holding a box. He came over and pointed it at Cloud’s eyes and shown a bright light in them.</p>
<p>“Amazing. It’s so subtle. Has he been given Daz?”</p>
<p>“No!” Mara Jumped up from the stands. “Not in the contract. Not on the approved list. He’s on oral Heylon and bump already. Don’t kill him.” She offered. She sat back down.</p>
<p>“Shame,” Nash said, “Well thank you Jaz for your cooperation. And now to business.”  Nash pulled at his belt and Cloud looked away.</p>
<p>“Now, that is disappointing.” Nash said and Cloud looked to Mara. She had moved to the glass. She pushed a piece of paper against the window. It was an 8 x 10 of Tifa. She was wearing an outfit he didn’t recognize. He understood the meeting.  “Well, she’s pretty, too. Maybe she can join us.” Nash cooed. Cloud hated him more than any human he’d ever met.</p>
<p>“No, master. She’d disappoint you. She’s not a … tanker.”  Cloud opened his mouth and closed his eyes.</p>
<p>Nash shoved his cock down Cloud’s throat. He gagged and coughed but the onslaught kept coming. He tried to suck but really he could barely manage to keep his mouth open and remain conscious. After about five minutes, Nash slowed down and grabbed his hair.</p>
<p>“Now, Suck. I’m close.”</p>
<p>Cloud did as he was told. He could sense Nash’s impending explosion and closed his eyes, tried to be somewhere else. Finally a warm rush of semen filled his mouth. “Swallow” he was told and he did,  Nash pulled out.</p>
<p>“Your turn. Marius.” The slave come over.</p>
<p>“Thank you, master” and he rammed his cock in Cloud’s sore mouth. He was softer and Cloud could suck him making him Marius moan in delight.</p>
<p>Cloud became conscious of someone behind him </p>
<p>He tried to yell but only a gurgled groan came out. He couldn’t move and so he just hung there in the bike, thinking of something else, anything else. He felt Nash move behind him and enter him. Tears fell from the beautiful blue eyes. </p>
<p>There was a commotion and he looked up as best he could. A man was moving through the crowd toward Mara, in a tan suit and with long, blond hair. He looked angry.</p>
<p>A moment later the door opened and the man strode in. Nash gave him a foul look. </p>
<p>“Raph!” Mara called, running after him.</p>
<p>“Who the hell are you?” Nash demanded.</p>
<p>“Tseng, cut his tongue out.” Raph barked and Tseng stepped forward held out his katana with a flourish. </p>
<p>“Gah NO! Were leaving!” Nash ran for the door and Tseng took a step after him.</p>
<p>“Later,” Raph said. Tseng nodded and stood down.</p>
<p>Raph leaned down next to Cloud and released him from the bike. Cloud fell in a heap on the floor, gasping and coughing. Raph put a hand on him to calm him.</p>
<p>“He’s mine,” Mara said coming after him. </p>
<p>“He’s Shinra’s and believe me there will be a lot of pain coming for you.” Tseng threatened. </p>
<p>Jude entered then and if looks could kill Mara would be a puddle in the middle of the room. He dropped the blanket he was carrying on Cloud and wrapped him up, lifted him.</p>
<p>Cloud looked up at Raph and smiled. Raph, in spite of himself smiled back. He ran his hand gently down Cloud’s cheek.</p>
<p>Jude made a note of it.</p>
<p>“You’re going to be fine, boy. Put him in my car. He can come to my house tonight. Give him a potion.” Raph said.</p>
<p>Jude nodded and shoved Mara as he walked past her. </p>
<p>“Look here…” She started to say to Raph but he turned on her his eyes heavy and homicidal. It froze her tongue, that look.</p>
<p>“None of this was discussed. This is… You are psychotic. Tomorrow morning I am calling President Shinra and Mara, if I see you near my house tonight I’ll cut your tits off. Are we clear?” </p>
<p>She nodded and stepped back.</p>
<p>----------------------<br/>He awoke wrapped in a soft, warm blanket, in the front seat of a very expensive car.</p>
<p>“Where am I?” he croaked.</p>
<p>“In my car.” came a soft male voice wrapping in a misty English accent.</p>
<p>“Who are you?” He asked and sat up. His head spun.</p>
<p>“I’m Raph.  You’re going to stay with me for a few days.”</p>
<p>“I have to get back to Mara, and the base.”</p>
<p>“Over my dead body, don’t worry. You hungry?”</p>
<p>He nodded and Raph tossed him a bag of hamburgers. Cloud’s arms were weak but he pulled a couple out and wolfed them down.</p>
<p>“Man, those are good, Did you make them?” He asked. Raph laughed. </p>
<p>“Oh, right. Nibelheim. They don’t have Panic! Burgers there. It’s fast food and it’s very bad for you which is what makes it taste so good. Have another. There’s a soda in the cup holder.”</p>
<p>Cloud found a new favorite food and ate all four burgers in the bag, and the fries and the pie. He was sleepy again and Raph reached out and put and arm around him. He pulled away but then, like a deer, but then leaned into his arm. Soon he was asleep again.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Delilah</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Raph gives Cloud a gift to help him remember who he is.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The Four Loves of Cloud Strife</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Part one – The Breaking of Cloud Strife</p>
<p>Chapter 5<br/>Delilah</p>
<p>Girl, you know I want your love<br/>Your love was handmade for somebody like me<br/>Come on now, follow my lead<br/>I may be crazy, don't mind me<br/>Say, boy, let's not talk too much<br/>Grab on my waist and put that body on me<br/>Come on now, follow my lead<br/>Come, come on now, follow my lead<br/>Shape of you, Ed Sheeran</p>
<p>Cloud woke up in the most comfortable bed he’d ever slept in. He sat up and rubbed his eyes and looked around. Everything was sleek and modern, a huge TV hung on the wall and there were at least two game systems on it.</p>
<p>He went into the bathroom and took a shower. There was a razor and toothbrush among the things here and so he used them and walked back into the bedroom. A bag with his name embroidered on it lay on the valet. He opened it and found some clothes, blue jeans, tee shirt, underwear and socks and a couple of pairs of shoes.</p>
<p>He dressed and wandered into the hall. He smelled something amazing and followed it to a kitchen.</p>
<p>There was the man from the night before. Raph.</p>
<p>“Why am I here?” He asked. </p>
<p>“Oh, you’re up. Well, there was an accident last night and they called me to clean up the mess.”</p>
<p>“So, you’re the angel Raphael or something…:</p>
<p>“Raphael, yes, angel, no. And you are very alive. Mr Strife. Thank God you had that materia or you wouldn’t be. We had to use it when you passed out from blood loss.”</p>
<p>“What happened?”</p>
<p>“Nash is a psychopath and he hurt you. I warned Mara not to sell you to him.”</p>
<p>“I don’t know why she sold me at all.” Cloud mused and say gingerly on one of the stools at the island in the kitchen.</p>
<p>The room was fantastic, open architecture and flying staircases, all modern and sleek, the kitchen was all marble and polished metal. On the other side of the open plan was a living room with comfortable furniture, the biggest TV Cloud had ever seen and a fire place you could roast a pig in. He wished his mother could see this room. It exuded wealth and taste. </p>
<p>“Because she can.” Raph was saying.  “I have very complex psychological theories about her insanity. If you were mine I wouldn’t let you out of my personal bubble.” He smiled and handed Cloud a proper English breakfast. Three kinds of sausage, pudding and eggs. Cloud grabbed a fork and shoved it in his mouth as fast as he could.</p>
<p>“I promise you, Cloud, no one will hurt you here, you will always have everything you need and want and I will never demand anything from you. Consider this your safe space.”</p>
<p>“Why would you do that?” Cloud asked between bites. </p>
<p>“Ah, you’re learning mistrust, good. My friend Jude asked me to look out for you. You know him. He is your Sargent.” Raph offered wiping the counter with a cloth.</p>
<p>“I don’t know why he cares…” Cloud asked and grabbed some toast.</p>
<p>“Your father saved his life in the Genesis Wars. That goes a long way. Any other burning questions?”</p>
<p>He slid a shake to Cloud the he took out of the refrigerator.</p>
<p>“Yeah what the hell is in this thing?” Cloud curled his lip and sneered at the concoction.</p>
<p>“Strawberries, strawberry paste, protein powder from kelp, vitamins, and something special. I suspect Mako.”</p>
<p>“I thought Mako was poisonous for people.” Cloud said, looking at the shaker cup in alarm.</p>
<p>“Most, yes. But for people like you and I who are enhanced, it helps us to live better.”</p>
<p>“Oh. You’re like me?”</p>
<p>“No one is like you but yes, I have little things. I’m a spy, you see.” He smiled.  “Would you like to go swimming?”</p>
<p>Cloud nodded. </p>
<p>“There’s a swimsuit in your things, I think.” </p>
<p>“Where did those come from?” </p>
<p>“Your closet at Mara’s. Those are your clothes. Didn’t you know that? Shinra bought them.”</p>
<p>“Hum.”  He went upstairs to change. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>__________</p>
<p>Cloud put on one of the two suits in his bag and grabbed a towel. He looked at himself in the full sized mirror in the opulent room.</p>
<p>He jumped down the stairs and hurried through the living room out onto the lanai that overlooked the who valley floor and the entire base. It was quit a view.</p>
<p>The pool was landscaped with a waterfall at one end and a hot tub that he shoved his toes in quickly.</p>
<p>The day was warm and there was someone swimming in the pool when he got there. Raph handed him a glass of juice which he downed and gave him back.  </p>
<p>“Yes, you’ll need the energy. This is Delilah. I paid her to…. Entertain you.” He looked at Cloud. “I’m told you’re straight. After what happened to you last night this might get the taste out of your mouth, if you will pardon my morbid humor. I’ll just leave you alone. Let me know when you’re done and I’ll get her a cab.”</p>
<p>He turned and he left. </p>
<p>She floated over on a pool raft in the shape of a shinra symbol. She was blond and sun kissed and had the perfect body.</p>
<p>“So, you want to swim or just fuck.”</p>
<p>He stood there for minute. So many things came flooding back, he felt so empty and so lost but he knew he could find some of himself in her.</p>
<p>“Come on.”  He took her hand and easily lifted her out of the pool.  He pulled her into the house and up to his room. </p>
<p>The entered the room and he slipped of his suit. She looked at him appreciatively. He motioned for her to come closer.</p>
<p>He leaned up to kiss her. She looked away.</p>
<p>“Not on the mouth…”</p>
<p>He looked at her darkly.</p>
<p>“Yesterday was my 18th birthday. My gift was I was gang raped by two men in front of an audience.”</p>
<p>She looked at him for a long moment and he knew she believed him. “Happy birthday.” She said and shoved her tongue in his mouth.</p>
<p>He kissed her for a long moment and then moved to her neck. As he moved down to her neck he hesitated at her ear. “I’m going to make you feel so good.”</p>
<p>“That’s my line.” She giggled and moaned when he nibbled on her neck.</p>
<p>He leaned back and reached up, slid off her wet suit.</p>
<p>“So, you straight? She asked. She cocked her head.</p>
<p>“Does it matter to them?” He asked and she looked a little sad then and shook her head.</p>
<p>“Not sure we matter at all. We’re just toys.” She replied</p>
<p>“Property.” He agreed. “Everyone keep telling me I’m property of Shinra. Not a person, you know?”</p>
<p>“Yeah.” She said. She frowned and looked away.</p>
<p>He lifted her up and moved her to the bed. He climbed next to her and pulled her close, kissed her like he loved her, like she mattered and was real and she shuddered under his hands and his cock stood up.</p>
<p>“You matter to me. You aren’t just toy. I’m going to make you cum 4 times.” he whispered. She shivered again and kissed him.</p>
<p>“Fuck me.” she said and her eyes were filled with passion.</p>
<p>He went down on her then, shoving his face in her soft place and found the clitorus. He licked it hard, then soft then gently sucked at it. She reached down twined her fingers in his hair and guided him. He went willingly where she lead and soon his tongue was darting over he most tender area. She bucked and gasped and let out a small yelp of pleasure. </p>
<p>He did not release her, though. he kept his place and worked that spot. She ground into his face and he felt her rising again, she came very quickly the second time and he pulled back and moved up, sucked at her nipples. </p>
<p>She lay still and he moved up again, kissed her. </p>
<p>“That’s 2.” he said and smiled at her.</p>
<p>“My turn,” she said and moved at him but he held her back and he frowned.</p>
<p>“Not yet. I’m not ready. I need to be in you. After last night I need to feel like…”</p>
<p>“Like a man.” She said and he nodded. </p>
<p>“I need to be with a girl, really be with with one. Remind myself I’m straight. I’m losing parts of myself and I want to hold this for a while longer.” He confessed and his eyes were wet with memory.</p>
<p>She nodded. Her face was a slate of perfect understanding. He leaned over and began to kiss her neck.</p>
<p>The dynamic turned odd then, two children locked in the same hell. The sex became rote, it was the dialogue that was the intimacy.</p>
<p>“My mom had five kids and no man. She sold me to feed the others.” She said.</p>
<p>“Un hun.  I’m a Shinra Experiment.” He said moving down to her stomach.</p>
<p>“That’s rough.” She replied.</p>
<p>He fell on top of her and drove his cock into her and she gasped. He slid up on her, just like Mara showed him and he rammed into her fast and hard.</p>
<p>“My dad died but we did ok. The other kids hated me.” He confessed. She came then and he casually said, “Three.”</p>
<p>“We never had enough to eat. It was always cold.” She said as he flipped her over on her stomach. “My ass costs more.” She cautioned.</p>
<p>He looked at it and considered for a minute. He fingered her hole and she moaned again.</p>
<p>“How much?” He asked.</p>
<p>“Raph will pay just fuck me, damnit.” He reached over and looked in the drawer beside the bed. There were condoms and lube there </p>
<p>“You ready?” He asked. </p>
<p>She nodded. “I gotta admit I like it in the ass.” She confessed.</p>
<p>“Me too. I mean the first time was rough and last night was my first guy. He was not gentle. I was on a bike…”</p>
<p>“Hey, why does Shinra need a sex slave?” she asked.</p>
<p>“Dunno,” He said, finishing lubing. “Maybe I’m a special gift for the bored executive who needs a bodyguard/cum dumpster.”  He shoved himself in her, gently, slowly and she grabbed the covers, her fingers tightening her body convulsing in pleasure. </p>
<p>Each stroke was a little deeper until his balls slapped against her and he began to feel close. He reached around and found her pearl and rubbed it hard. She squealed and bucked and he could feel her finish this time, and he went over, his cock exploding in a warm rush. “Four” he hissed.</p>
<p>They fell together. He wrapped his arms around her and dozed. He woke a few minutes later to hear her in the bathroom. Water splashed and she came back in.</p>
<p>“So, you gonna be Raph’s toy?”  He shook his head and thought about the older man, with his blond ponytail and brown eyes. </p>
<p>“I don’t know. I think I’m being rewarded. I don’t think they were supposed to hurt me that bad.”</p>
<p>“Yeah, what was that like?”  She asked and snuggled up to him. He pulled her close. </p>
<p>“Never again. It hurts so bad I was out of my body for a minute. I mean I felt someone screaming and I realized it was me. My mouth was full so the noise didn’t come out. I just tried to be somewhere else.”</p>
<p>He leaned up and looked in her face and made eye contact for the first time.</p>
<p>“You a tanker?” She asked suddenly and gazed into his eyes.</p>
<p>“I don’t even know what that is.” he confessed again.</p>
<p>“There are some people who take Mako showers hoping to get superpowers or at least the eyes. You got the eyes.”</p>
<p>“When I was a kid I’d go to the doctor a lot. They said I had a condition and needed a lot of medical care.  I kinda remember there being a tank and a lot of Shinra guards and doctors. I always thought that was just how doctor’s offices were.”</p>
<p>“Not any office I’ve ever been in. No Shinra, no mako tanks. Those are in fancy spas.”</p>
<p>“My mistress told me I was exposed to Mako my whole life. In my toys, my clothes. My soap. There was a reactor in Nibelheim…” He said and looked away.</p>
<p>“I grew up in Kalm.” She put her head on his chest and pulled him back down.</p>
<p>“You comfortable?” He asked.</p>
<p>She looked at him for a long minute. “I’m safe. I’ve never felt that before but I feel safe here.  Thank you, Cloud.”</p>
<p>“You’re welcome. I feel normal. Thanks for that.” </p>
<p>“You feeling better?” She asked him. “Because I’d like to testify that you are definitely a man.”  He smiled at that and she grinned. “And a fucking gorgeous one.”</p>
<p>He rolled his eyes and grunted. “How long?” He asked.</p>
<p>“The afternoon. Want to do it again?” She asked and sat up quickly her breasts bouncing and making his breath catch.</p>
<p>“Maybe later. Can we just… Sleep?” He said. He was suddenly tired again.</p>
<p>“You are something else. I was just thinking it would be wonderful to just lay here in your arms.”</p>
<p>He pulled her close and snuggled his face into her hair. Soon they were both snoring lightly.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>______</p>
<p>There was a light kiss on his cheek and he opened his eyes. </p>
<p>“My ride is here.” She said, dressed and holding her purse.</p>
<p>“Oh, sure let me get my pants and I’ll walk you down.” He jumped up and threw on some jeans.</p>
<p>He followed her down the stairs admiring the view. </p>
<p>“You are so hot!” He said and at the bottom of the stairs kissed her one last time. </p>
<p>“My real name is Carmie.” she whispered in his ear. They walked into the Kitchen. Raph was there in dark pants and a crisp white shirt with a bow tie. </p>
<p>“Have you been in this room all day?” Cloud asked.</p>
<p>“No, I actually went to town for a couple of hours and watched an Opera. And operetta, actually but you two were busy.”</p>
<p>“We fell asleep.” Cloud said and walked over to grab a piece the vegetables Raph was cutting. </p>
<p>Raph playfully swatted at him. “Glad I payed all that money for someone for you to nap with.” He muttered and Cloud and Carmie both smiled.</p>
<p>“Oh, yeah. I kinda got some extra stuff.” Cloud said. </p>
<p>Raph looked up, surprised. “Ordering a la carte are you?” Cloud grinned and shrugged.</p>
<p>“Well, the dessert cart was there.” Cloud offered sending Raph into peels of laughter.</p>
<p>“Don’t worry, Mr. Nevelle. It’s on the house.” the girl said with a wide smile.</p>
<p>“Well, that is unprecedented. I didn’t think you did freebies.” Raph offered.</p>
<p>“I took it out in trade.” She said. There was the honk of a horn and she dashed out of the house.</p>
<p>“She seems to like you.” Raph commented.</p>
<p>“I like her. Thanks.”</p>
<p>“Feeling manly again?” He asked and Cloud nodded. “Good go upstairs and change. I’ve left clothes on the valet in your room.” Cloud nodded and went up to shower and get ready. </p>
<p>He came back out of the bathroom and noticed the tuxedo hanging on the little hanger. He laid it on the bed and slipped into it. It was soft and black, the shirt crisply starched. He buttoned it up and slid on the jacket. One look at the tie told him he was in over his head.</p>
<p>“Raph!” He called, walking down the stairs.</p>
<p>Raph was shoving a veggie tray into the fridge.  He turned to see Cloud standing there looking dubious but stunningly handsome. He breathed in and out to suppress the urge to give an order.</p>
<p>“Give me that.” He said and took the tie. He moved close to Cloud, who stepped away but then held his ground. “Sorry. I’m a little…” Cloud apologized. He looked at the ground again in submission and again Raph found himself not saying the words “Kneel” or “Undress”. This child was perfect, beautiful, smart, funny… and not his.</p>
<p>“I understand.” Gently he reached and stroked Cloud’s cheek. Raph saw the strain in the glowing eyes, Cloud wanting to pull away and wanting not to offend. “I am not going to hurt you. I’m just going to put on this tie. Stand up straight.”</p>
<p>Raph as deceptively tall, a good two inches taller than Cloud. He brushed Cloud’s hair away from his face and Cloud caught a whiff of his cologne. Cloud shook his head like a worried horse. Raph waited and Cloud took a deep breath. “No it’s ok. I’m good. Put it on.”</p>
<p>He tied the tie around Cloud’s neck and adjusted the collar very gently, barely brushing his fingers across Cloud’s neck. Cloud shivered. “If you do want to, I’d let you I mean, I owe you.”</p>
<p>Raph held Cloud’s eyes for a moment, watched the boy swallow unconsciously and he smiled. </p>
<p>“Don’t be ridiculous. If I ever have sex with you, you will have to ask me. Very nicely, I’ll add.” </p>
<p>Cloud watched him move away mystified. “I’ll grab my jacket. If you don’t know what to do this evening, watch me and do as I do.” Raph said.</p>
<p>Cloud nodded and followed Raph.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Dinner and a Show</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>It's Cloud's Birthday and Raph celebrates it in style.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The Four Loves of Cloud Strife</p><p> </p><p>Part one – The Breaking of Cloud Strife</p><p>Chapter 6<br/>
Dinner and a Show</p><p>Now I know that I'm not<br/>
All that you got, I guess that I, I just thought<br/>
Maybe we could find new ways to fall apart<br/>
But our friends are back<br/>
So let's raise a tab<br/>
'Cause I found someone to carry me home<br/>
Fun,  We are Young</p><p> </p><p>Cloud had never seen a place this nice. Everything is this room glowed, shone or gleamed, statues and objects of art dotted the room and the rich and some famous people sat, dining and chatting. He hung on Raph’s arm, intimidated by everything here.</p><p>“Mr. Nevelle. your table is ready and your guests are here. Is this Mr. Strife? Happy Birthday, sir.”</p><p>“I… I…” Cloud stammered.</p><p>“Say thank you, dear.”Raph said quietly.</p><p>“Thank you, dear.” Cloud said and Raph laughed, hearty peals of joy. Cloud smiled and felt less nervous.</p><p>A moment later they were walking across this room.</p><p>“Is that Guy Barry?” Cloud asked in awe as they passed a table of celebrities.</p><p>“No idea.” Raph offered.</p><p>“He’s a full ultimate martial fighter.”</p><p>“Is that one of those sports that isn’t Gravball?” Raph asked.</p><p>“You like Gravball?”  Cloud asked excitedly.</p><p>“I have a box at the quarter line. Would you like to go next weekend?”</p><p>“I’m coming back next weekend?” Cloud almost danced in a circle and Raph felt something in his heart jump with him. Something pleasant that he hadn’t felt in a long time.</p><p>“Friday midnight to Sunday noon you are my property. So yes, every weekend.” It made him feel good to give this boy something that made him happy.</p><p>Cloud grinned then and his eyes glistened. </p><p>They approached the table and Tseng and Mara where already there.</p><p>Cloud was caught up short and the smile turned to horror.</p><p>“I thought you said I’d I was staying with you…” He said in a choking voice. He reached instinctive for Raph and curled into him as he glared at Mara.</p><p>“Well, yes, but she insisted in being at your birthday celebration. Jude will be joining us as well. Do you know Mr. Tseng?” Raph asked.</p><p>“My. What?” Cloud asked. He slid into the booth keeping Raph between himself and his mistress.</p><p>“Happy Birthday!” They all said.  At that moment the Sargent showed up. He was dressed in a tux as well and looked like a completely different person.</p><p>“Sorry I’m late, Cloud. Happy birthday. I had to stop and get your gift…” He offered, and leaned protectively over Cloud, glaring at Mara. She leaned away instinctively.</p><p>The Sargent handed Cloud an envelope. Cloud looked to Raph for permission.</p><p>“Wait a moment. Let’s order first. Are you hungry?”  Cloud nodded that he was and he felt very safe at this moment even with Mara pouting close by.</p><p>The waiter came over and handed Raph a menu. Cloud looked over his shoulder and realized it was written in a language he couldn’t read. The others began to order.</p><p>“I’ll have the Brizo roast with potatoes and asparagus and the birthday boy will have surf and turf with a salad and that lovely vegetable medley you get from Nibelheim.”  Cloud smiled. “Would you like to pick out your lobster?”</p><p>Cloud nodded with childlike exuberance and followed the waiter to the tank. As soon as he was gone Raph glared at Mara.</p><p>“You were fool hardy and almost cost the company a lot of money.” He said.</p><p>“It was just a couple of guys. How was I supposed to know they’d be so… rough.” She replied.</p><p>“I warned you.” Tseng said. There was more than a note of “I told you so” in his tone.</p><p>“Who invited the help?” She spat.”And I suppose you’re the one who told on me to daddy Raph?”</p><p>“The Turks represent Shinra’s interest.” The Sargent growled at her, “And if it was up to me, you’d been buried in a shallow grave, you cunt.”</p><p>“How dare you!” She raged.</p><p>“Please, spare us the melodramatics. We need to make some decisions. Tseng, have you informed Hojo and the President about what has happened.” Raph asked, all business.</p><p>“Yep. And there is a lot of pissed off floating your way Mara.” He offered.</p><p>“Mrs Fentua,” She corrected. She glared at Jude when she said it.   Tseng’s lips curled into a lecherous smile. </p><p>A waiter came by and Raph stopped him. </p><p>“Sir?” He asked politely.</p><p>“Could you ask Mr. Guy Barry if he might come and say happy birthday to the companion of a Shinra Exec?”</p><p>“I’m sure he’d love to, sir.” The waiter walked off.</p><p>“He’s coming back.” Tseng warned as Cloud watched them fish out the lobster and reached out to touch it with his finger like a child. Cloud laughed and jumped when it moved.</p><p>“Alright. He will come back to you one Monday Mara, but don’t get comfortable, I am going to petition the President on Monday. Tseng, monitor his session on Monday closely. Jude, keep his training on course.” They all nodded.  “And Mara?  Another fuck up and you will be spanking people from the bottom of a very deep hole.”</p><p>She looked away and frowned. Raph’s face changed and he smiled brightly at Cloud.</p><p>“Did you get the big one?” He asked.  Cloud nodded. “Well, sit down, lovely boy. I am so sorry your birthday went so horribly. We hope this makes up for it. Mr Tseng? Did you get something for Mr. Cloud?”</p><p>Tseng nodded and reached behind his corner of the booth and pulled out a long package. He handed it to Cloud. Cloud hesitated but then took it. He looked at Raph who nodded. He ripped it open and inside lay a sword, not just any sword but a replica of the Masamune, the sword of Sephiroth.</p><p>His face fell into a mask of awe and it touched it like it was a grail.</p><p>“It’s much shorter, of course. But it even has the sigils he engraved on it at the bottom.” Tseng said with a gracious smile.</p><p>“It’s.. amazing, Mr Tseng.” </p><p>“I was going to give it to you yesterday, but circumstances prevented.”  Tseng shot daggers from his eyes at Mara. </p><p>She reached beside her and handed him a huge bag. He reached in and pulled out a bomber jacket. He looked for a long minute and his eyes grew wide again.  “This is a support jacket from the Genesis war regiment Sephiroth served in. And it has the patched for all the big players.” He grinned and looked at her. “Thank you, Mistress.” He was genuinely thankful but also there was hesitance in his manner.</p><p>“Me next.” Raph said and handed him a large envelope.  Cloud ripped it open and slid out a photo. Sephiroth. Autographed. “To Cloud. Keep striving. Sephiroth.” He read and looked like he might burst with joy. He sat back and sighed. “Thanks so much, all of you!”</p><p>“You didn’t open mine yet.” Jude said.</p><p>“Oh, sorry.” He found the envelope in his pocket and opened it. Out came an old photo of a young couple before the war, happy and smiling. The woman he recognized. She had borne him. He felt hot tears in his eyes and Jude smiled.  “That’s my mom. Is that my dad?” he asked hoarsely.</p><p>“Yeah. He carried it with him. It was in his locker after they sent everything else back. I found it a couple of years ago when I was moving. Always meant to send it back to her. And you.” </p><p>“I don’t know what to say. You’re all being so nice to me.” Cloud said quietly and Raph hugged him impulsively.</p><p>“Say thank you.” Raph told him and put an arm around him. Mara looked like she would bite Raph. Cloud leaned into the older man and lay there for a minute.</p><p>“Thank you.”</p><p>“Wine?” The steward asked approaching the table. </p><p>“Champagne!” Raph said and they all laughed. “Happy Birthday, Cloud.”</p><p>_________________</p><p>Cloud was walking on air as he moved into the house. It was midnight, he was a little drunk and carrying a bag of new prize possessions. The masamune was clenched in his hand and the bomber jacket had replaced the tuxedo jacket that Raph now carried.</p><p>He followed Cloud into the house and set the alarm.</p><p>“Did you have a good time?” He asked.  Cloud spun like a dancer. </p><p>“Best night EVER! How did you get Guy to come over and say hi?”</p><p>“You must leave me some secrets, love. Take your things upstairs and put them away.”</p><p>Cloud put the bag and sword on the counter. He hesitated for a minute and then turned and walked back to Raph, stood in front of him. His face was placid but Raph could see the wheels turning, the boy was formulating. He took a timid step forward.</p><p>“I want to thank you for tonight.” He licked his lips and Raph watched his eyes dart, making sure that Raph noticed, responded. The boy was testing him to see if he should offer sex. Raph smiled and Cloud leaned forward, eyes closed, lips parted.</p><p>Raph knew he should say no, that the boy wasn’t ready, that he was offering sex as a thank you gift.  And yet he wanted to taste the kiss. And he wanted to rub it in Mara’s face.</p><p>Cloud’s lips touched his and kissed him. The boy had skilled mouth and again Raph cursed Mara for her poor judgment. She was constantly using wedgewood crystal to serve the Fruit ade. </p><p>Raph realized he was kissing back and indulged himself for a moment. The lips were soft and sweet, strong. He moved all the right ways and Raph knew that with some training the boy could give a perfect blow job. He felt Cloud’s tongue in his mouth and touched the side of the boy’s face. He pushed him back.</p><p>“Go to bed.” He whispered. </p><p>It was his turn to watch Cloud. At first, the boy was puzzled. It played across his face, subtly but there to read if you cared to look. He seemed calm and placid, but a war raged in a slight tick of an eyebrow or corner of the mouth. </p><p>“OK,” He finally said and turned, grabbed his things and went upstairs to his room. </p><p>_______________</p><p>He dropped the gifts and took off the uncomfortable shoes and bomber jacket and turned on a video game. He started killing soldiers with an animated howitzer.</p><p>He thought about Raph, and the evening and then about Raph again. He wondered why the man had turned him down. He knew the man wanted him and he didn’t like not understanding Raph’s motivation for helping him. If it wasn’t for sex what else could he want?</p><p>He paused the game and got up, dug around in the drawers. He came up and a Heylon inhaler. He’d seen one being used at the club. He also knew Heylon had been the on thing that sustained him during the pain at the club. </p><p>He wasn’t gay and he was sure about that. And yet, he really wanted to go back in there and make another pass at him. </p><p>Maybe naked? Would that? Cloud knew how Raph’s eyes followed him and that the older man did want him. Badly. Then why say no!</p><p>No way Raph told him no. He wanted Cloud. It would make things fair, payment of services. You feed me, I fuck you. That’s how life was now. It freaked him out to think that all this had happened to him in a week. He’d gone from virgin to whore in a week. </p><p>He took a deep snort of the Heylon in each nostril very quickly and moments later felt like his brain was floating out of his skull. It was amazing and he was in love with the feeling. It took him away from all those thoughts and memories he didn’t want. </p><p>He sat down and tried to play the game again but he had absolutely no dexterity. He threw down the controller in frustration.</p><p>“He has to want me.” He said out loud. He stood and stumble paced the room. “There is no other reason to be nice to me. I have nothing else he could want.”</p><p>He fell on his bed and the room began to spin. He sat up quickly. </p><p>“He has to.” Cloud said and stood again.  A moment later he was in the hall, wandering toward the living room where he heard a movie playing. He made the first two steps with relative ease but then the spins came back and he found himself sliding on his ass down the stairs. A moment later Raph was over him.</p><p>“My god, are you ok?” He asked and Cloud grabbed him and shoved his tongue down Raph’s throat. The older man struggled for a moment and then gave into the kissed, moaned a little and pushed Cloud away.</p><p>“No love.” He said and stood. He checked to make sure Cloud was alright and helped him stand. </p><p>“Why not?” Cloud demanded.</p><p>“You didn’t ask me nicely.” Raph smiled.</p><p>“Please fuck me.” Cloud said through frustrated, gritted teeth. </p><p>“I will never, ever fuck you Cloud. When we are together, I will make love to you and you will want me to. Not just be paying a debt with your body.” Cloud wobbled into the light and Raph saw his eyes. “Dear God what have you gotten into? You’re pupils are like quarters.”</p><p>Cloud smiled proudly and held up the Heylon container.</p><p>“How much.” Raph asked as he </p><p>“One per nose.” Cloud offered drunkenly. Raph snatched the canister and stuffed it in his pocket, making a mentla note to find if there were others hiding about. He didn’t ant Cloud developing a drug habit.</p><p>“Well, come watch a film with me. You won’t be able to sleep for a while.”</p><p>Cloud followed Raph into the living room and curled up in his lap in the big, overstuffed sofa. Raph held him close and turned on a film and they watched together. Eventually Cloud fell asleep in Raph’s arms. </p><p>______________</p><p>Cloud woke with arms wrapped around him. He looked and it was Raph, snoring lightly. He wiggled off the couch and made his way into the well appointed kitchen. Cloud was no cook but he figured he could do eggs at least.</p><p>Twenty minutes later, Raph awoke to the smoke alarm. He jumped up and ran into the kitchen following a plume of black smoke. </p><p>Cloud was using a fire extinguisher to try to put out an oil fire with some success. Raph stood and watched him. A moment passed and he walked over and put the cover on the pan.</p><p>“I think the bacon is edible.” Cloud offered. He looked so guilt and sorry Raph laughed and unthinkingly leaned over and kissed Cloud.</p><p>Cloud shuddered and turned away.  “I can make cereal?” </p><p>“Just try not to burn my raisin bran.” </p><p>Cloud laughed and grabbed two bowls and the cereal. He put them down and took a seat next to Raph. He ate in silence for a minute.</p><p>“Why?” He said between bites.</p><p>“Why what?” Raph asked, looking up idly from his news feed.</p><p>“Why are you being so nice to me. What do you want?” Cloud asked pensively. Raph felt those eyes on him, boring into him, looking for traces of deception. It was good that Raph was such a good liar. Though he wasn’t sure he could pass the scrutiny of those hawkish glares.</p><p>“Must I want something? Maybe I’m just a nice person?” He offered and tried not to express anything at all. He watched Cloud back, they needed to learn to read one another.</p><p>“Could be, I guess. Everyone wants something.” Cloud announced and took a bite of cereal.</p><p>“IS that what your short life has taught you.” Raph asked and watched him intently. </p><p>“No one has ever given a shit about me. Mom, maybe. They all hated me at home. I have no friends at boot. Mara sells me. Tseng is protecting the companies interest. You and Jude I can’t figure out…”</p><p>Cloud’s face was hard and stiff. His eyes had a far away cast and his jaw was set. He rolled his eyes and sighed a hard huffing noise.</p><p>“But you will figure us out, won’t you?” Raph chided.</p><p>Cloud gave him a glance then his eyes went to that far away place again.</p><p>“Jude is easy. Your father saved him…” Raph confessed.</p><p>“And you?”</p><p>“Maybe I know what it’s like to be unloved and I hate for anyone else to feel that way.” Raph offered a grain of truth to see if the boy would catch it.</p><p>Cloud sat, stoic and stiff for a long minute. He then leaned into Raph’s arms and wept. Raph held him until the sobbing stopped.</p><p>He pushed him back. “Alright, Tseng will be here soon. Grab your things, shower….”</p><p>“Can I leave my gifts here?” He asked. </p><p>Raph nodded. “Why?”</p><p>“I don’t want Mara to get a hold of them and use them against me.” Cloud said matter of factly. It was a sign of trust and Raph knew it. He felt a little honored at this innocent gift.</p><p>Raph nodded and Cloud left to go and get ready. </p><p>*****<br/>
Cloud kissed Raph on the cheek and ran out to the town car where Tseng waited.</p><p>“So where are we going?” He asked and he leapt into the passenger seat.</p><p>“Dr Hojo wants to see you.” Tseng answered as he pulled out.  He eyed Cloud skeptically. Cloud sat next to him and this intrigued him. Tseng was used to people who were anxious to be in the back seat, to be waited on.</p><p>“Thanks again for the Masamune. It’s amazing.  Do you know him?” Cloud asked all of it coming out in one long breath.</p><p>“Who?” Tseng responded. He also wasn’t used to people who wanted to talk to him on the ride.</p><p>“Sephiroth. He’s my hero” Cloud told him.</p><p>“Got that. I’ve met him a couple of times. Can’t hold his liquor.”  Cloud frowned and Tseng laughed. “You might meet him someday. Some people think you can be as good as him. Maybe better.”</p><p>“You think so?”</p><p>“I think if you are he’ll come find you. We’ll see when you do your sword training.” That brought a smile the Cloud’s face. Tseng was a good father to all the children he collected. He loved them all, Reno, Rude, Aerith. All his charges and he had no intention of being less for Cloud. He would give him the life lessons he needed and be the example of and honorable father. </p><p>“Is that where we’re going now?” Cloud asked again, joyful.  Tseng nodded. “So what do you do for Shinra?”</p><p>“I’m a Turk. We do special ops.”</p><p>“Am I a special op?”</p><p>“Yep. Company asset protection.”</p><p>“You don’t talk much.” Cloud offered.</p><p>“Nope.”</p><p>“Want me to shut up?”</p><p>“Yup.” He said but he smiled just a little when he did.</p><p>Cloud turned and looked out the window. Tseng turned on some music. “You do have some friends, you know.  Just because someone has an agenda doesn’t mean they don’t like you.”</p><p>“Like you?” Cloud asked.</p><p>“I have no agenda.” Tseng offered.</p><p>“So you aren’t protecting company assets? So you like me.” Cloud said.</p><p>“You’re like a fungus. You grow on people.” Tseng offered and it was kind of true. </p><p>“I think that’s the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me.” Cloud offered and looked out the window again.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Andy</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Cloud is tested and broken.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Caution. Torture. Graphic.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The Four Loves of Cloud Strife</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Part one – The Breaking of Cloud Strife</p>
<p>Chapter 7<br/>Andy</p>
<p>I am just a worthless liar<br/>I am just an imbecile<br/>I will only complicate you<br/>Trust in me and fall as well<br/>I will find a center in you<br/>I will chew it up and leave<br/>I will work to elevate you<br/>Just enough to bring you down<br/>Sober, Tool</p>
<p> </p>
<p>_____________</p>
<p>It was a large white building with a Shinra logo on the side. They were allowed through security,</p>
<p>He changed into his uniform and was then taken by a pretty assistant through some doors and into a room the size of a stadium.  He was alone. He stood there wondering what he should do.</p>
<p>There was a pulse of static then “Hello, I am Doctor Hojo. How are you feeling, Cloud?”</p>
<p>“Fine!” He yelled. </p>
<p>There was a chuckle through the PA. “I can hear you. There is a microphone in your uniform. Now Cloud. I am going to release a creature. I want you to kill it. If you don’t, it will probably kill you… Have you got your materia?”</p>
<p>“Wait, what? Yeah, but…”</p>
<p>“I’m going to send Lara down to give you another piece. This is a combat materia. It contains an ice spell. You must figure out your enemies weaknesses and defeat them. And use that heal.”</p>
<p>Another assistant came in and took out his necklace. She clicked a blue materia into his necklace. She then turned and hurriedly left.</p>
<p>He heard the grating of a door… and saw a moment was was alien and creepy.</p>
<p>“Um, hun, wait. I’m.  Wait what the hell is that thing???” He screeched as it came into view.</p>
<p>A creature slithered close to him. It was long and slender with a lot of legs and an angry disposition. It looked vaguely centipedal but had various tentacles.  It lunged at him and he rolled out of the way, ran to the far side of the room.</p>
<p>“Seriously, what the hell is that thing?” He yelled.</p>
<p>“Venomous.” Hojo replied.</p>
<p>“Are you fucking serious?”  Frenzy edged his voice. </p>
<p>He drove at him again and he swung wildly. His blow glanced off chitin with a clank. It was wheeling to come back.</p>
<p>Something in his brain click and he realized running was not the answer. He needed game plan and now. This Hojo guy might not plan to kill him but there were no safeguards that Cloud could see. </p>
<p>He took a battle stance and held his sword up facing the creature. “OK, let’s do this.” He said more to reassure himself than anything.</p>
<p>The creature moved toward him.</p>
<p>“Ice!” Cloud said and imagined a huge snowball falling on the monster and exploding.</p>
<p>And it did. He felt a slight drain but quickly recovered.</p>
<p>“Fuck yeah!!!” He cheered and the creature stopped, shook itself – stunned.  He leapt upon it, whaling with the sword and blood flew.  The creature shrieked and turned on him. He jumped out of the way and retreated to a corner. Suddenly it was obvious to him how this worked. Spell, wail, run. And oh, was he enjoying this. He could feel his muscles stretch and his heart beat in his ears. He joined the combat with reckless abandon. </p>
<p>It was limping but turned again and moved with great alacrity</p>
<p>“Ice!” he yelled and again the frozen torrent hit the creature, immobilizing it and he moved in again, this time managing to sever the creatures head.</p>
<p>_______________<br/>Hojo turned to Tseng.</p>
<p>“I think you did it.” Tseng offered and shrugged.</p>
<p>“You don’t seem impressed.” Hojo said. “He’s barely trained, that creature took Sephiroth two hours to kill.”</p>
<p>“Yeah, he’s nifty alright.” Tseng shrugged. He didn’t want Hojo to know how great he thought Cloud was. Hojo could be Cloud’s worst nightmare.</p>
<p>“Bah!” He turned back to the observation window. Cloud was standing over the creature. He turned back to the window.</p>
<p>“You need to get rid of Mara.” Tseng said.</p>
<p>“You never liked her did you.” Hojo said dismissively.</p>
<p>“Doesn’t matter what I like. She’s going to break him. Besides, the subliminals seem to be working very well. His combat style is improving exponentially, well beyond your expectations.” Tseng said with more urgency than he meant to. </p>
<p>“That’s what I pay her for. You want another Sephiroth running round out there? No way to control him?” Hojo ventured.</p>
<p>“I’ll pull him. Then no more experiments.” Tseng threatened. His was his hold card but he needed to pull it. Tseng, lowly Tseng had a good bit of authority when deciding on the training of the Children.</p>
<p>“You don’t have the authority.” Hojo ventured. No one else knew that, but Tseng held secrets President Shinra would pay to keep quiet.</p>
<p>“We’ll see. I mean it Hojo.” Tseng let the conviction in his voice for the persuading.</p>
<p>“I am still in control of this experiment and he is my creation.”  Hojo tried to counter but not with much spirit. Hojo suspected more than anyone how powerful Tseng could be. </p>
<p>“It’s already been past too far.” Tseng told him. “He’s developing neuroses, then he’ll be no good to anyone.”</p>
<p>They heard Cloud over the monitor.</p>
<p>“How’d I do?” He asked and then fell. They saw the poison spine in Clouds ankle.</p>
<p>“Impulsive. Seth was never impulsive.” Tseng said and walked to the elevator to retrieve the boy.</p>
<p>__________________</p>
<p>Cloud woke in his bunk with Tseng over him.</p>
<p>“Morning princess.” Tseng said.</p>
<p>Cloud rose, his head groggy and pained. </p>
<p>“Open.” Tseng said and dropped a pill in Cloud’s mouth. He swallowed. </p>
<p>He followed Tseng and did his lesson as usual and then got ready and went to the line. </p>
<p>Jude came out.</p>
<p>“Hey, Kid. Did you have a good weekend?” He asked. </p>
<p>“Killed a giant centipede.” He said with a huge grin. “Thanks for the gift. I’ll have a copy made for send this one to Mom. She should have it. I don’t think she had pictures of dad.”</p>
<p>Jude nodded. “He was a good man.” Jude offered. “So what did you kill? Hum. Centipede? That sounds exciting. So for your next act of amazing stuff, I need you to crush this course today. Heidegger is here watching.”</p>
<p>“Who is he?” Cloud asked and looked around.</p>
<p>“He’s a Bigwig in Shinra.” Jude said and he didn’t sound happy.</p>
<p>Cloud nodded.</p>
<p>*****</p>
<p>The day was full of parades and pomp, most of it was boring for Cloud. </p>
<p>Then it was his moment. The Sargent pulled him over to the course and put him on mark.</p>
<p>“OK, Cloud. Run hard and fast and use the damned ropes if you need to. And….Go.” He said and Cloud took off like the wind. He didn’t crush the course, he danced through it. He did handsprings over short walls and rolled under barbed wire. It was the end that as spectacular though. He jumped high enough to almost vault over the twenty foot wall.</p>
<p>He landed in a hero pose and stood. The whole camp fell silent and then a cheer went up. He felt really good about himself. For once he felt like a hero. </p>
<p>*****</p>
<p>He had lunch with the General and his entourage. </p>
<p>Heidigger was a huge man with a full beard and a deep laugh, but somehow Cloud didn’t trust him. </p>
<p>“So, boy, Hojo tells me you wanted to be a soldier.” Heidigger said and calpped him hard on the shoulder.</p>
<p>“Sir, yes sir. It’s been my dream since I was 14.” Cloud returned.</p>
<p>“Well, you keep up the good work.” he said and then went back to his lackeys as if Cloud wasn’t there until time for the photo op.</p>
<p>The other cadets asked him out for a drink but he knew better. The moment he had been dreading had finally come. He had to go back to Mara.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>*****<br/>“You going to check on Cloud with Mara tonight?” Jude asked. Tseng nodded and ran the sword over the whetstone again. “Why are we letting her have him again tonight?”</p>
<p>“I think Shinra is hedging their bets. All the others have serious instability issues. Genesis, of course, but even Angeal and Sephiroth. Angeal has retreated to this cabin in the middle of no where and is talking less every day and Seth is getting more and more moody.  I think they are hoping that with all of us trying different ways to stabilize his brain activity he might just be successful. And regardless of what Hojo claims, we’ve had maybe six of these boys live to Cloud’s age. The DNA’s are somehow incompatible.”</p>
<p>“I don’t know what Hojo was thinking bringing the bitch into this. What the hell is with all the torture.”</p>
<p>“It wasn’t supposed to be like that. That’s not what I agreed to. Remember with Seth? Get him to fall in love, then take her away. He still carries Abbi’s picture. Mara just don’t know when to stop like Abbi did.” Tseng said and emphasized his words with another swipe of the sword. </p>
<p>“You said it. He should be on the way up there. I’ll head up there too.” Jude offered.</p>
<p>Tseng nodded. “I’ll meet you, I need to make a call. Since you’ll be in the neighborhood anyway, sticking your nose in.” Tseng said.</p>
<p>Jude nodded and went ahead to Mara’s house.</p>
<p>________________________</p>
<p>Cloud took off his boots and knocked on the door. She opened it and he could tell she had been crying.</p>
<p>“Come in.” she demanded and he did. As much as she had put him through he still felt compassion for her. He pulled her into his arms and she wept bitterly clung to his shirt and buried her face in his well muscled chest.</p>
<p>“What’s wrong?” He asked, worried.</p>
<p>He looked up and noticed two Shinra men standing there. </p>
<p>“Did you hurt her?” He asked and put her behind him. He was braced for a fight.</p>
<p>“Please don’t do this. I can fix this.” She said to them but they ignored her. </p>
<p>One of them approached Cloud and shoved her away. Cloud made to fight with him but then felt electricity coursing through his body. He tried to cry out but every muscle in his body was locked.</p>
<p>“Cloud, Cooperate. It will be easier. Just go with it don’t fight!” She was calling after him as he was dragged out of the house.</p>
<p>*****<br/>Jude came up the hill. He saw Cloud being thrown into the trunk of a black Sedan. He ran toward the car which almost ran him down as it squealed away.</p>
<p>He reached pocket and dragged out his phone. He pushed some buttons.</p>
<p>“Tseng, someone just took Cloud.” Tseng hung up without a word. </p>
<p>*****</p>
<p>A moment later he was thrown in the trunk of the car and his body unlocked. He lay there in darkness and felt the car moving beneath him. Real terror crept into. Anything that scared Mara could not be good.</p>
<p>He remembered that he had his phone in his pocket. He pulled it out and dialed Raph.</p>
<p>“Hello love...  Where the fuck are you?” Raph asked. Cloud could see the sun outside the room Raph was in and the buildings of Midgar beyond. It seemed so far way.</p>
<p>“I’m… I’m in the trunk of a car. I went to Mara’s and these to guys were there…”</p>
<p>“Shit. Cloud, love. Do whatever they tell you until I can find you. Do you hear me? The more you resist the worse it will be…” He said desperation lacing his voice like hoarfrost.</p>
<p>“I’m scared.” Cloud said, an edge on his voice.</p>
<p>“I’ll find you.” Raph promised. He touched the screen to give Cloud some comfort.</p>
<p>“I hear planes….” Cloud said, craning to hear.</p>
<p>“Fuck. Love look. Just relax and I promise we will find you. I’ll talk to Hojo…”</p>
<p>The car stopped and he heard the door close.</p>
<p>“They’re coming.” Cloud hissed.</p>
<p>“Quick, hang up…”  But it was too late. The man threw open the lid and saw the phone. He grabbed it, looked at Raph and grinned.</p>
<p>“Don’t do anything.” Cloud heard Raph say, and he wasn’t sure if it was directed at him or the man. With a grin, the man crushed the phone like it was made of paper and hoisted Cloud out of the trunk.</p>
<p>“Prince Charming ain’t gonna find you.” The man said and with a quick slap of his gun, knocked Cloud out.</p>
<p>________________</p>
<p>He came to in the trunk of another car. He felt it slow and finally stop.</p>
<p>The truck opened and the light burned his eyes.</p>
<p>“If you fight with me I will tase you again. Are we clear?” One of the men said.  Cloud nodded and let himself be lead into an abandon industrial building.</p>
<p>Once inside he was shackled and put in a wheelchair. They rolled him to an elevator and he felt himself going down more floors then there should have been.</p>
<p>Somewhere below the sewer lever the elevator stopped and he was rolled into a white, antiseptic corridor.</p>
<p>A man was standing there, a huge, fat man with a lecherous grin.</p>
<p>“I’m Andy, we’re going to be friends. I understand you like drugs. Well, have I got something for you…”</p>
<p>A nurse came out then and pulled out a large syringe full of a blue gel.</p>
<p>“This is called Daz. In humans it’s fairly lethal. But you aren’t exactly human, are you? You suspect it, don’t you?”</p>
<p>“I’m. I’m human.” He said, confused. He’s always assumed he was a human. What else might he be?</p>
<p>“You are a monster, Cloud Strife. A real monster. You are so much monster that Shinra can own a trademark on you.”</p>
<p>The man flicked his head and Cloud was wheeled down the corridor and dumped in a concrete cell.</p>
<p>“What are you talking about? I’m a person. I’m a PERSON!” He yelled.</p>
<p>He lay there and then tried to stand. When he moved, the door opened and two man came in with chains and one of them threw one end over a rafter. A moment later he felt himself hoisted high enough that his feet didn’t touch the ground.  </p>
<p>He took a deep breath and prepared for it. A moment later four large men entered the room and began to beat him. He passed out twice and they revived him with potions. He was aware when they broke his rib but didn’t remember how they dislocated his shoulder.</p>
<p>“What’s the point of this?” He asked and then spit out some blood.</p>
<p>“Getting you ready for the Daz.”  One of them replied.</p>
<p>“Well, you’re both really bad at this. I’ve had worse beatings on a Friday night.” He hissed through the drool and blood. Truth was, they were just making him angry.</p>
<p>“You’re funny. Well, that’s ok.”  He heard more then felt the chain release and he landed on the floor in a heap. The pain was exquisite.</p>
<p>“Nice try but I know something you don’t. I’m a masochist. So there, people like me are hella hard to torture…” Cloud groaned and rolled over.</p>
<p>“Didn’t ya hear, kid? You ain’t people.” One of the men said, leaning over into his face.</p>
<p>“Then what am I?” he growled.</p>
<p>“One of them tentacle monsters they make out of Mako.” The man smiled.</p>
<p>Just then the nurse came in and pulled a gurney in behind her. </p>
<p>“You two finished?” She asked.</p>
<p>“Almost.” the two left in the room said, almost in unicen. One more kick and the walked away.</p>
<p>He was lifted onto the gurney.</p>
<p>He was wheeled down a corridor that looked like any other medical hospital. As he passed various room he heard screams, both human and inhuman. That got to him. He was here, no one knew where and they could do anything to him. They might kill him. Maim him. Maybe he would be hurt so bad he washed out of the military and became another broken soldier in Midgar begging with a dog and a drug habit. All he’d need was a dog.</p>
<p>He tried to sit up and received a punch in the face for his trouble and fell back. He heard a snap in his jaw and knew it was broken. </p>
<p>“I’m fine” he said and the green wash of magic covered him, healing it with a really painful pop.</p>
<p>“Take that fucking materia.” One of the men said and held him down. The necklace jerked off his neck burning his neck as it was pulled off. Cloud laughed and the man rebroke his jaw.</p>
<p>They turned into a room and in the middle of it was a steel table with drains running around the edges and restrained at the wrist and ankle points.</p>
<p>He was lifted, struggling, to the table, it was freezing on his skin and they locked him spread eagle on the it.</p>
<p>He lay there for what seems an eternity, over him a harsh florescent light burned leaving the rest of the room in dark, ominous shadows. </p>
<p>Finally the door opened and Andy came in. He wore a surgical mask and gloves. He leaned over Cloud as a nurse cut off his clothing.</p>
<p>“Hello. I’ve been waiting for you for a long time. Your brother was fun but there were lots of rule. You, however, well, fewer.” Andy said and looked Cloud over appraisingly.</p>
<p>“I don’t have a brother.” Cloud said.</p>
<p>“Oh but you do. And he’s a monster just like you. In fact there are several of you. Your mother is a monster we found in a crater and your father is Dr. Hojo. You are at best only half human. And knowing Hojo I’m not sure there is anything human about you at all.”</p>
<p>“I… what?” Cloud said. “My Mother lives in Nibelheim.” He said. “My father died in the war. He saved Jude…</p>
<p>“Those people existed, yes, but just surrogates. They came to Shinra looking for an infertility cure. They got implanted with a monster for their trouble. You were all built in test tubes and put into the wombs of desperate, infertile woman. Most didn’t take, and there is an innate instability in your genes, but I am here to give you control, boy. I am going to climb in your brain and find out what makes you tick.  Can’t have you killing half of Midgar.”</p>
<p>“Liar…”</p>
<p>“Daz kills humans. But monsters? They just find their minds opening. There is a room in your mind, Cloud and I’m going to find it and make sure you don’t go haring off like Genesis did. Like Angeal is.  Bring me the Daz.” The nurse brought the blue syringe and Andy made a point to show him the wicked needle before shoving it into his neck and pushing the plunger.  Andy then leaned in front of him and looked into his Mako Blue eyes.  A moment later he smiled and nodded.</p>
<p>Cloud felt like he was falling. Nothing seemed real. Reality warped away from him and his stomach lurched. </p>
<p>“Hum.  This is a vivisection table. The difference between this and an autopsy table is the straps. Do you take my meaning?” Andy was saying when he focused back on reality.</p>
<p>“Whatever, do what you want.” Cloud said. A perverse defiance was wafting over, a carapace of numb.</p>
<p>“That is the point. I like my work, Mr. Strife. What should I do?” He reached to a table next to the table and picked up a scalpel. </p>
<p>Cloud flinched. </p>
<p>Andy began walking around him slowly. “I’m not allowed to touch the face. Mara’s rule, I think.” He ran the blunt edge of the scalpel around Cloud’s cheek. Cloud pulled his face away. He moved to Cloud’s genitals and made a small cut on his scrotum. “I must leave your wedding tackle. Probably Raph’s rule.”</p>
<p>“Fuck you…” Cloud spat.</p>
<p>“Do I suspect some feeling for Mr. Nevelle?  Did he tell you he wuvs you?  Because Raph is a pathological liar.” Andy snapped and grabbed Cloud’s face. “I am in charge here little boy. And let me show you what kind of a fucked up situation you find yourself in.” </p>
<p>He took the knife and began a y incision at Cloud’s left clavical. Cloud thrashed, the pain was intense and precise, but Andy held him down by putting weight on him. “That is a good way to get your throat cut.”  Cloud felt the blood drip down his sides. </p>
<p>He moved to the other side and Cloud lay still biting his lip and bringing blood pouring down his chin. The knife cut, razor sharp and moved to his pubic bone with a thin, red line.</p>
<p>“Now we understand ourselves. Bring me his materia.” Cloud looked down and watched blood run down his sides. He started to hyperventilate.</p>
<p>Andy held up his materia and put a hand on loud’s. “Heal.” he said and the green light surrounded Cloud and his could feel his skin knitting back together.</p>
<p>Something in Cloud’s mind seied and all his bravado fell away. He was again that scared boy cowering on the floor of the club hoping he would live through this. “I’m sorry sir, master, so sorry…” Cloud begged, the wet blood already getting little sticky. </p>
<p>“Andy is fine. I’m your friend not your master…” Said with a smile.</p>
<p>“Yes, Andy, yes.” Cloud repeated. It hurt so much to talk and his teeth clenched each time he talked. </p>
<p>“Mara did do a delightful job getting you ready. And so quickly. What next?  Should we give him to the tentacle monster down in four?” Andy said with great amusement.</p>
<p>“Please tell me what you want, Andy. I’ll do it. Right now.” Cloud said, desperation his voice.</p>
<p>“Hum. If you could volunteer this, you wouldn’t need me. Bring me the chair….”</p>
<p>“Please no..”</p>
<p>“You don’t even know what I’m going to do.”  A moment later a straight backed wooden chair was brought in. He was unshackled and lifted off the table. He was bound to the chair tight.</p>
<p>*****<br/>Raph pushed his way into Hojo’s office. </p>
<p>“Have you fucking lost your mind…” He demanded.</p>
<p>“This is my project.” Hojo said. “Your methods were proving too slow. Andrew promises 5 of the 12 keys by midnight.  He says the boy is breaking nicely….”</p>
<p>“And Jude says he’s fracturing. We see three distinct personalities forming.” He argued.</p>
<p>“What is with you? This experiment… Are you? Falling in love with it?”</p>
<p>“Him Hojo and he’s your son, damnit.”</p>
<p>“That doesn’t make him any more human. Maybe if there is anything left of him I’ll let you have him. Though it’s not like you to get sentimental.”</p>
<p>“No, you will have him at my house immediately or so help me God I will break you.”</p>
<p>“How will you do that?” Hojo asked.</p>
<p>“I’m sure President Shinra would be interested in your experiment that killed his daughter.” Raph offered.</p>
<p>“It was an accident and no one can prove any different.”  Raph threw a video disc on the desk and turned and left the room. Hojo stuck it in the player.</p>
<p>“Are you sure this will work, Love?”  Hojo heard her voice. He knew this moment. He knew this was a copy. He knew this was proof that could end him.  His blood ran cold and he picked up the phone.  “Tell Andy to abort and send the boy back.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>*****<br/>“His heart rate is back to normal.” The assistant said as she checked off on a clip board. She looked on the camera and watched for a minute as Cloud tried to stand with no success.</p>
<p>“Kid’s amazing. His vitals are stable, his brain activity is maxing but it’s still in the correct parameters and his body seems to be burning a bit more calorie to keep his core up in that room. He’s a fucking wonder.” Another offered.</p>
<p>“Yeah, Hojo’s a genuis but don’t forget the failures destroy whole cities, remember the goal here. We have to open his subconscious to get the control suggestions in.” Andy said and flipped up another switch on the panel. Let’s stress test him with some cold.” The refrigeration unit kicked and he watched the read outs very carefully.</p>
<p>“I still feel this is kind of cruel.” Another researcher said.</p>
<p>“Trust me, it only looks human. Wait til it sprouts a wing and burns down half of fucking Midgar.” Andy said and didn’t look up.</p>
<p>*****</p>
<p>Cloud lay there on the cold floor, head spinning and trying not to vomit. He couldn’t control it and a moment he lost it and vomited everywhere. He shivered hard.</p>
<p>Horrors were visited upon him in that room. More than once he screamed, begged. Tentacles grew from his flesh, darkness took form. He would see Tifa but she would vanish from his view. He couldn’t tell if any of it was real.</p>
<p>He lay there looking at the ceiling, willing himself to death. </p>
<p>He vomited again and lay there in it. He lost himself in the blackness of the ceiling. Abstract shaped turned and grasped at him, foul things with claws and gelatinous bodies.</p>
<p>Later came and still he was alive. He was feeling clearer and he stood, stumbled to the wall. He used it to prop him up.</p>
<p>He heard a metal door scrape open and five people came in. A nurse carrying more Daz and a team of people to restrain him.</p>
<p>“Please fuck no no more! I can’t do that any more. Please. Stop. NO..” He tried to fight but he was at best punch drunk and was easily restrained. </p>
<p>This injection hurt more and he thought she might have given him a larger dose. The nausea came again but he had nothing to vomit. She had his head held back and poured water down his throat. He felt like he was drowning. </p>
<p>They dropped him to the ground and the world began to give way again. </p>
<p>*****<br/>Raph leaned back in the jet. His foot tapped. Tseng watched him calmly, as still as Raph was full of movement.</p>
<p>“We’ll get there.” Tseng offered.</p>
<p>“Where were you?” Raph demanded not looking up.</p>
<p>“Had to make a call. I thought it would be ok for five minutes. Besides Jude was going up.”</p>
<p>“Yeah, he’s a failure, too.” Raph offered darkly.</p>
<p>“Where the fuck were you?” Tseng asked. </p>
<p>“Petitioning. President Shinra. And getting court documents ready.”</p>
<p>“I mean a week and a half ago. You could have stopped this at the onset. Yeah, sure I fucked up. Jude’s been there for the kid from word one.”</p>
<p>Raph’s jaw tightened.</p>
<p>“Yes, I’m rethinking a lot of my actions these days.” Raph confessed.</p>
<p>“There’s something about these kids that does that to you. You and me, we killed so much shit we don’t have souls anymore. But maybe these kids are redemption for us.”</p>
<p>“How’s the flower girl?” Raph asked.</p>
<p>“Good. I’m keeping Shinra away from her. The boy has more exposure. Only so much we can do. You and me got so caught up in saving this fucking rock, we forgot to enjoy it.”</p>
<p>“What do you get from the girl then?” Raph smiled.</p>
<p>“She reminds me about flowers.” Tseng said and sniffed at the fluted lily in his lapel.</p>
<p>_______</p>
<p>Cloud woke up back in his cell still covered in blood and vomit and mud.  He looked round the black space for a blanket or something.  </p>
<p>A girl was pushed into his room, maybe 10 or twelve.</p>
<p>“Only one of you is getting out of here, Cloud.” A voice in the blackness said. It sounded to him like a snake.</p>
<p>“I won’t. I won’t hurt a child.” He yelled at it. She was small and young and he wanted to protect her. He tried to cover himself and stood.</p>
<p>“Well then, it’s you who doesn’t leave and it won’t be pretty for you, I promise… All you have to do is snap her neck. It’s so easy for you. You’re strong enough.”</p>
<p>“No, kill me, fucking kill me…” He murmured and collapsed to the floor again.<br/>_________________</p>
<p>Andy turned to his assistant. </p>
<p>“Did we use all the handles Mara gave us?” He looked at a machine that clattered and shot paper beside him. </p>
<p>“And a few I just made up…” She replied.</p>
<p>“Hum.  I want to try an experiment.”</p>
<p>“Well you’re out of time. Hojo called and said shut it down…”</p>
<p>“Fuck Hojo.” He said.  “Get me a male prisoner. Blond. Long hair if you can and throw him in the cage. Give him an earpiece.”</p>
<p>*****<br/>Cloud stood in front of the girl ready to defend her to the death.  The door opened and it was Raph.</p>
<p>“Oh thank God…”  His knees buckled and he collapsed to the floor. “Run… little girl run…”</p>
<p>“Mister, that ain’t….” She tried to say but he was so delusional he didn’t hear her.</p>
<p>“Go. He’ll save us.” He whimpered.</p>
<p>The man came over. “Love, are you OK?” he said.</p>
<p>“Yes, yes, thank god.” He reached for Raph, smelled him and felt his nearness. And then a gunshot rang out and Raph fell into Cloud’s arms. </p>
<p>Cloud looked at him. Blood dripped from a gaping hole in his forehead and he could see brain matter leaking out the back of Raph’s head.</p>
<p>He felt something pop in his own head and heard a sharp noise.</p>
<p>______________</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. The Dark Place</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Cloud recovers in Raph's bed.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The Four Loves of Cloud Strife</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Part one – The Breaking of Cloud Strife</p>
<p>Chapter 8</p>
<p>The Dark Place</p>
<p> </p>
<p>You will come to save me<br/>
Come on and save me<br/>
If you could save me<br/>
From the ranks of the freaks<br/>
Who suspect they could never love anyone<br/>
Except the freaks<br/>
Who suspect they could never love anyone<br/>
But the… </p>
<p>Save Me, Amy Mann</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Andy smiled. He entered the cell and had the child removed. He sat in front of Cloud.</p>
<p>“Are you there, Cloud?”</p>
<p>“Yes.” he said dreamily.</p>
<p>“Where are you?”</p>
<p>“I’m in a room. A white room.”</p>
<p>“Good. I want you to listen to me very closely.”  He pulled the paper out of his pocket and read it. Cloud listened and nodded.</p>
<p>“Now, sleep.”</p>
<p>Cloud collapsed on the cell floor unconscious.</p>
<p>Andy stood and walked back to his office.</p>
<p>____________________</p>
<p>Raph entered the control room. He glared at Andy. </p>
<p>“Where is he you malicious fuck?” He spat.</p>
<p>“Oh it’s true? The great Raph Nevelle, games-man extraordinaire is in love? This is a first.” Andy bantered and turned his chair in the control room and flicked a switch so Cloud’s naked, unconscious form came up on the big monitor. He smiled as Raph’s face lost all color.</p>
<p>“I will poison your fucking juice. I will Daz you to fucking Death.”  Raph snatched a syringe of the stuff off the counter and moved impossibly quickly to hold the needle at Andy’s throat. He was there before the guards could react.</p>
<p>“Give him to me. NOW.” Raph growled. He noticed Andy sweating a little. Good. Raph was inches from killing Andy and blowing this whole fucking compound up.</p>
<p>“Fine. Show Mr. Nevelle to his lover.” Andy said, and his voice revealed that he was definitely nervous.. </p>
<p>Tseng moved into the room and leveled a katana at everyone all at once. “A man’s army in hell is composed of those he sends before him.” He said flatly. Everyone glared at him. None of them moved. </p>
<p>One of the assistant’s lead Raph to the cell and opened the door. </p>
<p>*****</p>
<p>Raph entered and found Cloud’s broken and bloody body laying prone in the middle of the floor as if he had been thrown there like garbage Raph took off his  jacket and wrapped it around Cloud delicately. Cloud moaned when he moved and Raph held back a tear.  He lifted Cloud and carried him to the hall. </p>
<p>Tseng took Raph’s back, his eyes darting left and right, identifying each possible threat. </p>
<p>A large man moved toward them and with a swish of the blade Tseng removed three of his fingers.  The Katana was so sharp that the man didn’t react until he heard the thump of the digits hitting the floor. </p>
<p>Near the door a guard decided to be heroic and found his head separated from his body by Tseng’s blade for his trouble. </p>
<p>Once they were outside, a siren went off and they could hear people mobilizing in the building.</p>
<p>“We need to go.” Tseng said running toward the car and hitting the automatic door locks.</p>
<p>Raph gingerly slid Cloud into the back seat and climbed in with him and wrapped him in a blanket and held him close.</p>
<p>“Today!” Tseng demanded as he slid into the car and jammed the key in the ignition.</p>
<p>“Drive.” Raph said and Tseng put the pedal down before Andy’s men could follow. “And thank you Tseng.”</p>
<p>“Any time.” He replied. “And you know, Raph, he’s right. You’re in love.”</p>
<p>“Well, don’t tell anyone. My rep as a hard ass will suffer.” Raph said and brushed a hair out of Clouds face with the utmost care.</p>
<p>“After infiltrating Andy’s secret lair and taking Cloud back in less then 12 hours? Dude, we are fucking golden in the hard ass rep category.”</p>
<p>“I guess so.”  He pulled Cloud close and kissed his forehead.</p>
<p>“Hold on to him, we aren’t out of here yet.”  Raph felt the car accelerate and looked up. There was a gate and it was closing fast. </p>
<p>“We aren’t going to make that.” Raph said quietly. He pulled Cloud very close and kissed the side of his face. </p>
<p>“Do you want to drive?” Tseng asked, sarcastically.</p>
<p>“Just saying. I’d have used the after thrusters.”</p>
<p>“Just hold on and save your critiques for after we’re safe.” Tseng jerked the steering wheel hard and spun the car and hit the fence broadside, taking part of it completely down.  He jerked the wheel the other way and slammed into first gear, the car whined and shot off before the guards could recover enough to unholster their weapons.</p>
<p>“You jostled him.” Raph complained and soothed Cloud, wiped a drop of blood from the corner of his mouth.</p>
<p>“My apologies to the young prince.” Tseng snorted.</p>
<p>*****<br/>
Tseng helped Raph get Cloud into the house and into the bath.  He then took his leave. </p>
<p>Raph washed Cloud who occasionally cried in his sleep. He washed Cloud’s hair and cleaned the blood off him and then lifted him to the floor of the bath and dried him with a fresh towel.</p>
<p>He went into the bedroom and found Cloud’s softest sleep pants and slid them on him and added a Gravball tee-shirt and then carried him to Raph’s own bedroom and covered him with a Chocobo feather Duvet. He the slid into bed next to him and pulled him close.</p>
<p>As soon as they were snuggled in, Cloud calmed and fell into a natural sleep.  Raph’s phone rang. It was an unknown number.</p>
<p>He turned it on. It was Andy.</p>
<p>Something red and poisonous flared in Raph’s brain and his eyes narrowed to dangerous slits. </p>
<p>“I am coming back for you.” Raph hissed.  “We are not done by a longshot.”</p>
<p>“Please, peace offering. Thought I’d share some results.” Andy smiled and help up some papers.</p>
<p>“Fuck your results… and you.”</p>
<p>“Then I guess you don’t want to know what brought him down?” Andy asked. The small rational bit of Raph’s brain acknowledged that it would be good to know the outcome. But most of him wanted to flush Andy’s blood down a toilet.</p>
<p>“No.” He said calmly.</p>
<p>“We made him think we killed you. We tried all the other handles. It was you…”</p>
<p>That hit Raph like a smack in the face. At no point would he have ever thought little Cloud might genuinely care for him. Cloud was straight and for all he had offered sex to Raph on several occasions, Raph put that down to the programming, the abuse, the PTDS need to survive. </p>
<p>“Me?” Raph said out loud before he could stop himself. </p>
<p>“You’re welcome.” Andy offered and hung up before Raph could retort.</p>
<p>“Do you love me too, little Cloud?” He asked and nestled down beside him and fell asleep.</p>
<p>_______________</p>
<p>Cloud woke up in Raph’s arms, in Raph’s bed.</p>
<p>“Wasn’t I kidnapped?” He asked hoarsely. </p>
<p>“Yes, but I came and got you.” Raph replied.  “As soon as we can get you back to real consciousness we’ll heal you with a potion or your materia.”</p>
<p>“He took my materia. The man with the black face. I can’t see him but he’s there.” Raph worried for a moment if perhaps the Daz might have damaged Cloud’s brain. He would take him to the Doctor’s at Shinra later.</p>
<p>“I’ll get you more. Rest.” He whispered and placed a light kiss on Cloud’s forehead. He breathed him in, the smell of the lavender, the deep, rich tones of the cologne Cloud always wear that he’d put on him after the bath. </p>
<p>Cloud smiled weakly.  </p>
<p>“Do you know who you are?” Raph asked.</p>
<p>“Is my name Jaz, or Cloud or Jazriel?” Cloud asked. </p>
<p>“Cloud. It will all come back together.”  Cloud nodded and got this far away look in his eyes. </p>
<p>Cloud reached up and stroked Raph’s cheek.</p>
<p>“They killed you and made me watch.” He said weakly.</p>
<p>“It was a bad dream.” Raph said.</p>
<p>“Are you my boyfriend?” Cloud asked and nuzzled him. </p>
<p>“No, dear, I’m your friend.” Cloud cocked his head, trying to remember and suddenly grabbed his temples,  grunted in pain. </p>
<p>“Hurt… hurts to remember…” He muttered.  Raph pulled him close and rubbed his temple. </p>
<p>“Sh. It’s ok, don’t remember. Just lie here. You’re safe and loved and warm.”</p>
<p>“Kiss me.” Cloud said suddenly. “Please.”</p>
<p>Raph leaned down and gave Cloud a sweet, gentle kiss. Those mako eyes shone and there was still some of the telltale sparking of Daz as it reacted with the mako and the Jenova cells in Cloud. It was beautiful and unearthly. Tiny pulses of lightening flashed in the irises.</p>
<p>“Sleep, love.” He said directly and the key implanted in Cloud’s brain worked and he was instantly snoring. Raph wiped a tear from his eye and hugged Cloud close.</p>
<p>*****<br/>
Cloud awoke alone in a huge bed. Soft blankets and comforters covered him and soft pillows embraced him. </p>
<p>He had memories but he wasn’t sure any of it was real. Raph was dead. He had some vague memory of that and his body tried to make a noise but nothing came out. He cried out, climbed out of bed on wobbly legs. He collapsed to the floor and crawled to the hallway. Once there he knew where he was, Raph’s house.</p>
<p>“Raph!” He cried, his voice barely a rasp and crawled onward. When he reached the top of the stairs, Raph appeared at the bottom of them.</p>
<p>Hysterical tears fell down his face and he whispered Raph’s name as Raph ran up the stairs and fell beside him gathering him up in his arms.</p>
<p>“I’m here love. I went to get you some food.” He whispered and showered Cloud with little kisses. </p>
<p>“You’re dead, they killed you! Please don’t be dead! I need you. Please come back to me.” Cloud blurted hysterically.</p>
<p>Raph kissed him and reached in his pocket and took out a potion.</p>
<p>“Drink this.”  He popped the top and pushed it to Cloud’s lips. Cloud drank and instantly his color got better. “Come, sweet. Let me take you to bed. Then I’ll get you something to eat. What would you like? A big steak? A burger? Sky is the limit.”</p>
<p>“Take me to bed.”  Cloud sighed tiredly.</p>
<p>Raph stood and carried Cloud to his bedroom. He lay him down gently and pulled the covers over him and sat on the edge of the bed.</p>
<p>“I saw you die. There was a little girl. They wanted me to…” Cloud said.</p>
<p>“Shhhh. Don’t think about it now. The drug is still I your system so we don’t dare more healing potions. Just lie back…”</p>
<p>Cloud leaned up and kissed Raph hard, put his tongue in his mouth and pulled him down. Even now the boy was pretty strong. Raph tried to pull away but there was desperation in Cloud, like a man holding on to flotsam after a shipwreck. Raph joined the kiss and moaned, his body was on fire and Cloud was moving his hands down to Raph’s crotch. He didn’t want Cloud to know how aroused he was.</p>
<p>He pushed Cloud back.</p>
<p>“No, Cloud” he said.</p>
<p>Cloud fell back into the bed and lay there defeated.</p>
<p>“Why don’t you love me!” He wept. “I love you!”</p>
<p>Raph stopped for a long moment. His heart felt light and he smiled. He leaned forward and took Cloud’s face in his hands.</p>
<p>“Idiot. I do love you. And I want you, believe me. But you’re in no shape for sex. I don’t want to hurt you.”</p>
<p>“Duh. Masochist.” Cloud replied and Raph laughed in relief. For the first time in two days he thought this might be ok, he might fix this.</p>
<p>“I love you.” Raph said.</p>
<p>“I love you too.” Cloud replied sleepily.</p>
<p>“Are you hungry?” He asked.</p>
<p>“I think so.” Cloud said, rolling off towards unconsciousness.</p>
<p>“I’ll make you some soup. It’s been a few days since you’ve eaten.”</p>
<p>“How long?”</p>
<p>“Three days.” Raph said.</p>
<p>“I missed a lot of work…”</p>
<p>“Jude is covering for you.” He smiled as Cloud nodded off and went to make him soup.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>*****<br/>
Cloud woke with arms around him. He didn’t know where he was but it was dark. He sat up and tried to get out of bed but his legs buckled under him. Raph was by his side in a heartbeat.</p>
<p>“Cloud?” He said.</p>
<p>“Raph, where are we, are we there, did they get you, too?” </p>
<p>Raph moved and turned on the light. He came over and pulled Cloud close. </p>
<p>“Look at me.” he said and Cloud did, his head snapped and he held Raph’s eyes. Raph made a note of that. First key. Tonally manipulated short command. Spoken with the correct inflection short commands could be issued and would be followed without question. Control. He was determined to find them all so he could make sure no one found them and used them against him.</p>
<p>He reached beside his bed and pulled down a mega potion.</p>
<p>“Sip this.”  Cloud, one who was never much for small gestures popped the top and downed the bottle. He groaned as the potion took effect. </p>
<p>A moment later he was much clearer and managed to struggle to his feet. Raph made to help him stand but he pushed him away and staggered into the bathroom. There he fell at the basin and promptly vomited up all the soup he’d eaten earlier. He then lay on the floor weakly.</p>
<p>“I’m sorry.” he mumbled as Raph came to stand over him. </p>
<p>“No, I’m sorry. I should have known Andy would pull something like this.” Raph said.</p>
<p>“He told me you told him he couldn’t cut off my cock.” Cloud said and sat up. His head spun and he laid back down.</p>
<p>“That does sound like something I would say.” Raph agreed. “Come back to bed, darling.”</p>
<p>“No I’m going to throw up again.” He sat up quickly just making it to the toilet. “What’s wrong with me?” he asked.</p>
<p>“Well, Daz has a pretty nasty comedown.  Hojo says I should give you a shake. I think maybe the Daz depletes the Mako in your system.”</p>
<p>“Yeah bring me a nasty shake, please.” He rolled over on his stomach and fought his way up. Raph reached to help. “I got it.” He shrugged off Raph’s hands.</p>
<p>Raph went to the kitchen and grabbed a shake, prepared it and took it up to Cloud.  Cloud took it and downed the shake.</p>
<p>“Yeah I think that’s going to help.” he said. He turned away from Raph then in a cold gesture.</p>
<p>“Tell me what I’ve done.” Raph said. He held his hands folded.</p>
<p>Cloud was silent for a long time. Then he blurted. “Your rules. He was following your rules…”</p>
<p>“Oh Darling. You don’t think… I had NOTHING to do with this. As soon as I found out the had you I started looking for you.”</p>
<p>Cloud turned to him, those big eyes wet with tears. “I don’t know what’s real! Are you real, are you dead? Did they kill Tifa, did any of those awful things happen? Was any of it real? Am I a monster like Genesis?”</p>
<p>“Fuck.” Raph swore and Raph sat on the bed and held out his hands. Cloud hesitated but fell into them.</p>
<p>“Daz makes you hyper suggestible. They come in and say “We’re killing your girlfriend” and you will see that. You were around some people who were killed. You had blood and bone on you. But I promise your mother is in Nibelheim as is Tifa and they are both safe.”</p>
<p>“How do you know so much?” Cloud asked.</p>
<p>“I’m a spy. I stole your files a few months ago and you intrigued me. I found out they had brought the Jenova project back on line and they had one viable candidate. You were in Nibelheim and they were bringing you to basic. They had some plan for making you mentally more stable, more controllable. Couldn’t have another Genesis now, could they? Even Angeal, he is breaking by inches. Self loathing. It’s a shame, he was the best of them. Until you. </p>
<p>I was curious. See, I sell military tech secrets to the highest bidder. And you, my dear are worth your weight in fucking mako units. Your something like 42 percent Jenova cells. More than even Seth. And holding pretty stable. And with the control they put in your brain, well, you could go the distance.</p>
<p>“Or, I could freak out and turn into a despotic warlord and scourge the Earth.” Cloud countered thoughtfully.</p>
<p>“Well, yes, and give us a clue if you start feeling despotic, will you, love? I got involved strictly for profit. I could retire to my own continent for what you’re worth. I wasn’t even going to meet you. But when I saw you, lying there on the floor in the club…” Raph trailed off.  “You get to a person. I don’t know what it is about you. I mean we have a lot of common, like the same movies, your smart and clever, funny and handsome and kind, but part of it is… You make me feel like a good person. Like I might be a good person. Like by being kind to you I might find something I have forgotten I lost.”</p>
<p>He looked at Cloud, the eyes were hard, the lips tight and he caught a glimpse of what Jude was calling the third person, the cold, shut down Cloud. It frightened him. </p>
<p>“How can I trust you? How can I know you’re not still planning to sell me to some research lab so they can turn me into genetic samples. I mean, I’m not a person am I? Do I even have rights?” Cloud said sharply.</p>
<p>“There is some debate as to your status…” Raph confessed quietly. “But I’m working on it…”</p>
<p>“Do I get a say?” Cloud asked and looked like he might cry. </p>
<p>“Of course you do. Of course. I just didn’t want to drop all this on you. It’s a lot…”</p>
<p>“It’s my life, Raph! How can I trust you? Give me one reason why I should trust you?”</p>
<p>Raph could not help himself. He leaned forward and kissed Cloud, gently, stroked his cheek. “Because I fell in love with you, idiot.”</p>
<p>Cloud considered and must have believe him he threw himself into Raph’s arms. </p>
<p>“I need to brush my teeth and shower.” Cloud said and stood up unsteadily. “Want to join me?”</p>
<p>‘Now is the time.’ his brain urged. ‘if you take him now he’ll buy the con and you can sell him to the highest bidder.’  And then his heart chimed it. ‘but it isn’t a con anymore, is it. And you aren’t selling him to anyone, idiot.’</p>
<p>Raph shook his head. “I’ll get you some fresh pajamas and another potion. Be careful.” He stood and walked toward the door and he was overcome by the most powerful emotion he’d ever felt, it forced him to turn back to the retreating Cloud. </p>
<p>“Hey!” The boy turned to face him. “I love you.” He felt a tear, one that burned hot and deep all the way down his cheek, one filled with more love than his heart could contain. Cloud smiled.</p>
<p>“Me to.” He said and hobbled into the bathroom.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. The Wall</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Mara loses gains the ultimate control.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The Four Loves of Cloud Strife</p><p> </p><p>Part one – The Breaking of Cloud Strife</p><p>Chapter 9<br/>The Wall</p><p> </p><p>Set me free, leave me be<br/>I don't want to fall another moment into your gravity<br/>Here I am, and I stand<br/>So tall, just the way I'm supposed to be<br/>But you're on to me and all over me<br/>Sara Bareilles, Gravity</p><p> </p><p>Raph woke up sometime later, Cloud curled beside him still smelling of soap and conditioner, his blond hair starting to grow our some from the horrible mess left from the ordeal at Andy’s.</p><p>He shifted in Raph’s arms and Raph slipped out of bed to start his day. </p><p>He started his morning shower and as he lathered his head he felt Cloud slip into the shower with him. He rinsed off and turned to find the boy standing before him, smiling. </p><p>He leaned forward and kissed him gently. Cloud kissed him back. He leaned him back and pinned him against the wall of the shower. </p><p>“I want you,” Cloud whispered.</p><p>“I told you that you’d have to ask me very nicely.” He said and shoved his tongue in Cloud’s mouth. Cloud shuddered beneath him and let out a deep sigh and a grunting noise.</p><p>“Please, Master. I beg you, take me. I will do anything. This body exists only to please you.”</p><p>“That is very nice.” Raph said and kneeled down and put his mouth around Cloud’s member. Expertly he sucked him, licked him from tip to base and back and Cloud let out a little huffing noise. He rolled his tongue over his sack and then took his cock in his mouth again and brought him to the edge of ecstasy and then stopped. He stood quickly.</p><p>“Kneel” he said and Cloud did without hesitation. “Open your mouth.” Cloud did and closed his eyes.</p><p>Gently, Raph slid his cock into Cloud’s mouth and the boy sucked at it like it was candy, moaned and Raph barely had to move. He knew what Cloud liked though and he shoved him hard against the wall and shoved his piece deeper. Cloud gurgled and reached up, dug his nails into Raph’s hips. Raph pulled out and let him breath and then went back to stroking his throat.</p><p>A few minutes later he grabbed Cloud by the hair and pulled him up. He kissed him.</p><p>“Get out and dry off and go lay on the bed on your stomach.” Cloud moved in perfect obedience. He grabbed a towel and vanished into the other room. Raph grabbed a bottle of lube out of a drawer and a towel. He dried his hair with it and dropped it on the floor. </p><p>Cloud was laying face down on the bed with his legs spread and a pillow under his hips shoving his ass into the air. Raph got harder. He didn’t think it could happen but it did. </p><p>He opened the lube and poured a generous handful and massaged it on himself. </p><p>“Are you ready?” He asked.</p><p>“Please. Please fuck me.”  Raph brought his hand down on Cloud’s upturned rear making him jump and gasp.</p><p>“You have completely lost your manners. You address me as Master and I will not fuck you. Ever.”</p><p>“Forgive me m… Master. Make love to me, please, I beg you…”</p><p>He waited a minute and Cloud squirmed. He climbed on top of him and with an expert push entered him. Cloud gasped and whimpered. Slowly Raph pushed all the way into him, and then pulled out quickly, causing Cloud to grab the duvet and bite the pillow.</p><p>“Do you like that, boy?” He asked.</p><p>“Yes. my Master.” He repeated the motion over and over again in rapid succession. “Oh, god it’s huge.” Cloud said breathlessly.</p><p>“Does it hurt?” Raph asked.</p><p>“Yes. Fuck yes, don’t stop.” Cloud said.  </p><p>“Good.” Raph began to pound Cloud as hard and fast as he could. Screams of delight fell out of Cloud and soon he climaxed, groaning and huffing. </p><p>Raph didn’t stop, it had been a long time since he had a lover he felt could keep up with him. He kept pumping Cloud and bit the back of his neck. Cloud howled and let out a strangulated cry. Again, he came. </p><p>Raph felt he was close and considered prolonging what was probably is favorite sex to date but then Cloud made this noise, like a murmur and before he could ignore it he was exploding into Cloud.</p><p>“Oh, yes Raph,  fill me up, fuck, that feels so good. Oh, oh yes.”</p><p>Raph collapsed on top of Cloud and held him in place, didn’t let him move, just kept digging his rapidly dying erection inside him.</p><p>“You have to go back to Mara tonight. Shinra says so.” He felt Cloud tighten and he wrapped his legs around Cloud’s to further immobilize him. “She will make you say that you belong to her. She is wrong. You are mine. Do you understand me?”</p><p>Cloud nodded. </p><p>“I’m not happy about this but I promise you that if she hurts you again like she did before I will kill her. You will not be left alone in her presence. I should know before you’re duty roster is done that you can come home with me. Do not leave the base with her unless you tell Jude. Do you understand.”</p><p>“Yes.  Yes.” He said with the tone of voice of a petulant child being lectured about stranger danger. </p><p>He let Cloud go. </p><p>“Who do you belong to?” Raph asked. </p><p>“You, my love. Only you. Next time, tie me.” He whispered. </p><p>“Oh love, I’m going to buy you a bike” He rolled off Cloud and ran his hand through his own long hair. Cloud rolled up too and looked at him. </p><p>“Do you promise? I like the metal better with the padding at the knees. It hurts less but I can run faster during the day.” There was such excitement in his voice. </p><p>“Tell you what, as soon as you get back, we’ll go shopping.” He smiled and Cloud threw himself into Raph’s arms. They lay there for a long moment kissing and the door burst open. It was Mara and she stood there, fury pouring off her.</p><p>“Clean up and pack.” She said. Cloud jumped up and looked at the floor. “Yes Mistress.”</p><p>He departed the room.</p><p>“You’re late.” She said to Raph, taking an aggressive step toward him. He reached for his pants and slid them on as if she wasn’t there.</p><p>______________</p><p>Mara arrived at Raph’s house expecting Cloud to be waiting for her at the door. When he wasn’t she parked her car and walked to the door and knocked. Tseng opened it eating a bowl of yogurt and honey.</p><p>“Oh, Mara. Here to pick up the boy for your custody hour?” He threw at her.</p><p>“I’m not going to be baited by the help.” She said. He shrugged and put his bowl in the sink. “You’re a company man. Is Raph working for Shinra?” She demanded.</p><p>“We all work for Shinra. Everyone on the fucking planet. Some of us are just honest about it. I wish you guys would get over this fight. I have a flower girl to check on.”</p><p>She narrowed her eyes. “Is that some kind of code?”</p><p>“Like I’d tell you. How’s your husband?” He asked.</p><p>“He and I spent the weekend together.” She offered.</p><p>“Must piss you off he’d rather sleep with Jude.”</p><p>“I’m surrounded by fags.”</p><p>“You are missing the obvious. What they all have in common is they used to fuck you.” He offered and pour some hot water in a cup of matcha. “I can see the correlation.”</p><p>“Fuck you.” She hissed.</p><p>“Not with Jude’s cock.” He threw back in a quick volley.</p><p>“I’ve come for my property. Cloud belongs to me. I’m taking him.”</p><p>“Technically Shinra holds the copyright on your boyfriend.”</p><p>Mara glared at Tseng. “He belongs to me…”</p><p>Tseng laughed, it was bitter and spiteful. “Follow me.” He said, sipped his matcha and lead her upstairs to the door of Raph’s bedroom. </p><p>They were loud, not trying to be quiet at all. Raph as moaning and Cloud was begging him not to stop, groaning and thrashing.</p><p>“Oh, Raph. I love you, don’t stop…Oh, yes, Raph, fill me up, fuck that feels so good. Oh, oh yes.”</p><p>Mara’s face fell. Tseng grinned wider.  “Who owns Mr. Cloud?” He asked and laughed.</p><p>She turned a brilliant shade of magenta and they could hear the couple climax in the bedroom.</p><p>She tried to move past him but Tseng darted around her to stand between her and the door. </p><p>“I order you to move.” She said.</p><p>“I don’t fuck you and I don’t work for you.” He replied. “Let’s give the lovebirds a minute, shall we?”</p><p>“Are you on their side now or do you just like to piss me off.”</p><p>“Little of both.” She shoved him hard and he laughed, followed her into the room. </p><p> </p><p>_______________</p><p>Cloud darted past her. Raph stood.</p><p>“He was supposed to be ready.” She spat.</p><p>“He was supposed to not be given to Andy but did you call me when they showed up?” He threatened, slid on his shirt and began buttoning it.</p><p>“I was right there! They might have hurt me… or Cloud.” She offered meekly. </p><p>“He called me from the trunk of the car. Mara. I am so fucking angry with all of you. Except of course for Tseng. This is twice he has gotten hurt you your care. On your watch. I’m petition today for him with me full time. You cannot be trusted… Matter of paperwork and I’ll at your house for him by 6.”</p><p>“Fuck you, Raph. All you care about is the paycheck coming when he pays out.” She was so angry she was crying.</p><p>“I’m refusing the paycheck in exchange for the arrangement.” He said and sat down on the bed.</p><p>“What? Why???  That’s a million gil easily…”</p><p>Raph sighed. “If you must know I’m in love with him.”</p><p>She froze for a second and then looked at him. She began to laugh. “Oh that’s rich. You don’t love anyone but yourself. You might con the farm boy but I know you better.” She cackled.</p><p>“I don’t care if you believe me. I’m in love with him.” He said sharply.</p><p>“This is bullshit. I’m coming to that Shinra meet.”</p><p>“So am I.” Tseng said from behind her. “And as much as you think I’m “just the help” I do have a little pull.”</p><p>“Has the world gone mad??? Are you both insane…”</p><p>“Now Mara.” Raph began but she picked up a huge ashtray and swung it, caught him in the temple. Raph went down. Tseng reached for his sword but it was gone, Cloud had it and had sprung into the room. </p><p>He wore denim and a tee shirt but looked the full swordsman as he vaulted into the room between her and Raph and held the blade to her neck. His eyes were wild with fury.</p><p>“I will cut your head off. Shinra be damned.” He said to her.</p><p>“I doubt they would care if you did.” Tseng said.</p><p>“You can do your worst to me. I don’t care. But do not touch him ever again or I will cut you into pieces.” Cloud threatened and the look in his eyes told her it was no bluff.</p><p>“Oh, I will.” She replied. “Car. Now.”</p><p>Cloud got this blank look for a second and walked mechanically toward the door. He then stopped, confused and looked from her to Raph laying unconscious on the floor. </p><p>“Go, I got him.” Tseng offered. </p><p>Cloud nodded, gave Raph one last look, gave Tseng his sword and followed her to her car. </p><p>*****</p><p>She drove out the driveway of Raph’s Desert house and stopped on the edge of the abandoned highway.</p><p>“I have Andy on speed dial, do you understand me and he wants another crack at you, so do as I say.” She said.</p><p>“Yes, my mistress.” He intoned bitterly.</p><p>“Kiss me” she demanded and he did, instantly and passionately. He then leaned back with confused look on his face. </p><p>“What just happened?” he asked. </p><p>She looked at Cloud in confusion. </p><p>“Climb in the back seat and fuck me.” She demanded and a moment later he had pulled her in the back seat and had both their shirts off. He shook his head and again looked puzzled.</p><p>“Don’t stop.” she said and again he got that blank look and kissed her neck and reached around to undo her bra. </p><p>He kissed her nipples and played with her breast. If he fell off key again she didn’t notice because five minutes later he was inside her, pushing himself in hard and deep. </p><p>“Fuck, that’s good.” he whispered in her ear. “It feels so good. Aw. UMMMM.” </p><p>She felt him reposition and slid up some and he hit her clit and seemed to know it because he fell into a rhythm there and pumped her faster and faster until she yelled and scratched his back. He moaned and came when she did.</p><p>He rolled over and pulled her close. </p><p>“Did I please you, Mistress?” He asked. He pouted like a child and didn’t look at her, stared at his hands.</p><p>“Yes. Now we have to get you to base and get you over that wall.” She said.</p><p>“Ma’am?” He said, glaring at her.</p><p>“The obstacle course. Shinra wants to see you run it.”</p><p>“Yes ma’am.” He said and shook his head. “Too many masters and not enough Cloud.” he said, mirthlessly.</p><p>“Your uniform is in the back. Get dressed and I’ll drive. Are you sure you’re up to this?” She asked.</p><p>“I’m a little weak but sure.” He offered. “I’ll be everyone’s dancing monkey.”</p><p>“There’s a potion back there, too.”</p><p>“Yes my mistress.” He changed into his uniform and quaffed the potion. </p><p>“Any pain?” She asked.</p><p>“I’m fine.” he said and leaned back in the seat. He missed Raph and hated her. He looked out the window like a pouty child.</p><p>“Tell me you love me.” she said with the right inflection. </p><p>“I love you so much.” he said, disingenuous.  She smiled. It would do. She had control now and she could make him love her.</p><p>_________________</p><p>The parade field was crowded and several members of the Shinra brass were there, Hojo sat in the stands holding a small portable camera. </p><p>Cloud got out of the car and Jude came over to him. </p><p>“You ok? Raph told us what happened but he was gone before we could join the rescue mission.” Jude said, a comforting, fatherly hand on Cloud’s shoulder. He was talking to Cloud but glaring at Mara.</p><p>“Yeah, better.  A lot of Raph’s chicken soup and healing potion. And um. I think we’re a couple.” He added the last part kind of offhandedly.</p><p>“Is that good or bad?” Jude asked.</p><p>“Fuck if I know. Let’s do this.” Cloud said and grabbed a handful of dirt and rubbed it through his hands.</p><p>Jude turned and gave Mara a dirty look. He went to the podium and began his pre-written speech.</p><p>Mara walked over to Cloud. She stood next to him.  There was a distance between then, less than an inch but it might as well have been a mile. He unconsciously moved away from her. She reached down and grabbed his hand and he tightened.</p><p>“Cloud,” She said using the tone of control. His head jerked to her and his eyes seemed blank. “Do not hold back, run this course as hard and fast as you can…”</p><p>As the final word was leaving her lips, he bolted, moving faster than she thought humanly possible. The crowd felt silent as he did a baseball slide under 10 feet of barbed wire. He came up and turned on a dime, ran through the tires at a speed unprecedented. </p><p>Commandant Crezz leaned over the Jude. “Did he just fucking blur?”</p><p>“Like a blue shift. What the fuck did they do to this kid?” Jude asked.</p><p>Cloud hurdled the shorter walls and then at the final wall he stopped. Hesitated for a long moment, thinking. He then took off running as hard and fast as he could and ran up the wall and at the top balanced. He stood there for a minute and then jumped up, turned and balanced again.  There was not sound. He looked out at all the people watching him, all the mesmerized eyes. He then spread out his arms and slowly fell backwards, casually and did a flip and landed in a hero pose. </p><p>Again there was silence and then the field erupted into cheers. He ran over to the Sargent. He saluted him and ran back to Mara’s side.</p><p>“Have I pleased you, mistress?” he asked and cast his eyes to the ground.</p><p>“Oh, yes. But that doesn’t get you off the hook. I’m pissed at you. You’ve forgotten who you belong to. So tonight we’re going to the club to remind you.”</p><p>“Yes, mistress.” He said with a tremble in his voice.</p><p>“And pulling a sword on me? You have been racking up the sins my young friend.”</p><p>“Doesn’t matter.” He muttered.</p><p>“Beg pardon?”</p><p>“I said it doesn’t matter. Raph loves me.” He threw at her.</p><p>“Even if he were capable of such a thing, he has a lot of money coming to him for delivery of a finished product and besides, as soon as Shinra finds out, they will move you. You’re property, Cloud.”</p><p>“Yes ma’am.” He said. He didn’t want to believe her but found it impossible not to. Things like Raph didn’t happen to him. Why would they start now?</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Losing Cloud</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Everything changes.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The Four Loves of Cloud Strife</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Part one – The Breaking of Cloud Strife</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Chapter 10<br/>Losing Cloud</p>
<p>So you think you can stone me and spit in my eye?<br/>So you think you can love me and leave me to die?<br/>Oh, baby, can't do this to me, baby,<br/>Just gotta get out, just gotta get right outta here. <br/>Queen, Bohemian Rhapsody</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Cloud ran laps on he parade ground with the others. Occasionally Shinra execs would stop him, ask questions. One asked for an autograph. </p>
<p>Mara was always close by watching. It was like having his own personal vulture. She seemed to love the attention even if it was by proxy. She held his arm and occasionally would pull him down and give him a sweet kiss. He would play the dutiful boyfriend for her while people were watching and then pull away.</p>
<p>Jude was also always close, too. At one point Mara seemed to be steering him to the car. Jude walked over. </p>
<p>“He’s scheduled to be here til 6, Mara.” He said and help up his watch.</p>
<p>“I can tell time, Jude.” She said.</p>
<p>“Can’t keep a man, though.” He threw back.</p>
<p>“Fuck you.” She said and he smiled.</p>
<p>“No, thanks, I had my turn. Made me gay.” He said with a bright smile.</p>
<p>A Shinra exec approached them, he held out a clipboard with documents on them to Cloud.</p>
<p>“What’s this?” Cloud asked.</p>
<p>“It’s documentation stating that you agree to reassignment on a permanent basis to Mr. Nevelle. And of course your...”</p>
<p>Cloud grabbed them. “I was going to tell you there was certain indemnities and..” The exec said.</p>
<p>“I’d belong to Raph now?” Cloud cut him off.</p>
<p>“I forbid you to sign them.” Mara said in the voice. He dropped the clipboard.</p>
<p>Jude stepped between them. “Do that again and I’ll have you dragged off this base.” Jude said and stared directly in her eyes. That look held murder.</p>
<p>“You can’t…” She started.</p>
<p>“Turns out I’m fucking the Commandant, so yeah, I can.” He growled. She turned and fled from him. Jude picked up the clip board and handed it back to Cloud.</p>
<p>“So, I belong to Raph if I sign this?”</p>
<p>“Well, it’s more complicated than that. Mr. Nevelle has petitioned for your declaration of person hood and since Shinra is refusing to release your DNA profile to prove you are not human... Since they won’t prove you are an experiment, then you must be a person.”</p>
<p>“I’m confused.” Cloud said.</p>
<p>“Technically until right this moment, you have been the property of Shinra Corp. But now…” Jude said. </p>
<p>“I belong to Raph?” He asked again with a grin.</p>
<p>“No, Mr. Strife. You belong to you.” The young man said and turned away. </p>
<p>Jude smiled and held out his hand. “Welcome to Humanity. We’re a fucking dumpster fire but were trying.” </p>
<p>Cloud took his hand and shook it as it all sunk in.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>*****<br/>“I told you that you were property.” Mara said as she came up behind Cloud in the mess hall.</p>
<p>He glared at her. “I am now. I’m more human than Jenova.”</p>
<p>“You got out on a technicality. Come on, Cloud, You think now you can run off with your lover and have a normal life? What about when you sprout wings and tentacles…”</p>
<p>“I won’t. Andy made me stable.”</p>
<p>“Do you really believe that?” She said with a wicked smile. </p>
<p>“What am I then?” He asked.</p>
<p>“Do you want to find out?” She asked.  He glared at her like she was a snake but he nodded.<br/>___________________</p>
<p>Jude sat with his feet up on the chair across from him. He looked up and saw Raph moving towards him looking out of place in the dive bar of a non comm bar. He sipped his beer and moved his feet.</p>
<p>Raph slid into the chair and a girl came over with a tray. “What can I get ya?” She asked.</p>
<p>“Bourbon with a saki back.” He said.</p>
<p>“Well, you drink like one of us.” Jude offered. </p>
<p>“Yeah. Where is Cloud? And yes, I was in Genesis, remember.” Raph offered and grabbed a hand full of bar mix.</p>
<p>“Thought you were an officer.” The Sargent took another pull off his beer.</p>
<p>“Everyone was being shot at, rank didn’t matter.  Boy?”</p>
<p>“Boy, says you’re a couple.” Jude offered.</p>
<p>“Did he?” Raph looked shocked a little. It was the closest to a tell Jude had ever seen in the man. “What else did he say?”</p>
<p>“Nothing but from the look he had when he said it, he’s falling pretty hard.  He’s been through enough so if you’re playing some long game with him..”</p>
<p>“No game.” Raph said quickly “He’s just in deeper than I thought. He’s young, impressionable and straight. He’s in deep shit and I’m his lifeline.”</p>
<p>“If you’re thinking of making some noble gesture to protect him…” Jude started and leaned forward.</p>
<p>“Fuck that, I’m protecting me. Once things settle he’ll go running off after some pretty little pair of bouncing titties.” Raph confessed and his eyes looked sad at the thought. </p>
<p>“It’s more than that Raph. Boy has it bad. Don’t fuck it up.” Jude offered.</p>
<p>“God damn it, where is he?”</p>
<p>“Parade ground surrounded by cameras and civilians where no one would dare touch him. The platoon has orders to watch him. He’s safe. Oh, and he signed the papers. He’s a person now.”</p>
<p>Raph nodded.  “Good, was he happy?</p>
<p>“I think he’s trying to figure it out.”</p>
<p>“Well good, what did you want? It’s you’re meeting and surely you didn’t call me here for sage advice on my love life.”</p>
<p>“What the fuck is going on here?” Jude asked. There was no room in his voice for Raph to play any verbal games.</p>
<p>“Super soldier. Like Seth. They’re making a completely different set of mistakes with him. That’s why I wanted you here. You’re a calm influence….”</p>
<p>“He doesn’t trust me.” Jude offered. </p>
<p>“Then tell him why he should, why you are on the same side.”</p>
<p>“I was called into this because I’m Mara’s husband’s mistress?” Jude said with a raised eyebrow. “I mean, he should know that by now...”</p>
<p>“You were straight too weren’t you?” Raph asked. </p>
<p>“Maybe. My circumstance is different. I fell in love in the heat of battle…” Jude offered.</p>
<p>“He needs a father and I can’t think of a better one that you.” Raph said, trying to find a better argument.</p>
<p>“He still doesn’t trust me.” Jude offered. </p>
<p>“Then talk to him.” Jude nodded.  </p>
<p>“Fine, send him as soon as he’s back, Crezz has meetings all weekend.”</p>
<p>“What about Crezz?  I thought he was signing the papers with Mara tomorrow? You going to that?”</p>
<p>“I’m just gasoline on that fire.” Jude grinned.</p>
<p>“Thanks. I owe you.” Raph said with a smile.</p>
<p>“Yes, you do. But not for this. I’ll call in my favor now.”</p>
<p>“Fine what?”</p>
<p>“Why is the kid blanking out when Mara tells him to do shit?” </p>
<p>Raph’s face fell blank. “She knows it worked.”</p>
<p>“What worked?” Jude said, exasperation in his voice.</p>
<p>“Do you know what a key is?”</p>
<p>“Something that opens a door?” Jude ventured.</p>
<p>“No, it’s a psychological construct. Using various techniques it’s possible to subvert the conscious mind and put in certain commands…”</p>
<p>“Like a Manchurian Candidate.” Jude mused, catching on.</p>
<p>“Exactly. The whole idea was to give Cloud keys so he might be more controllable that his brother. Especially after the incident at Hai Gen.”</p>
<p>“Seth does have a temper and a mind of his own…” Jude agreed.</p>
<p>“IF Hojo has his way, Cloud won’t. You got Seth to trust you. Get Cloud to.” Raph said, worriedly.</p>
<p>*****</p>
<p>Mara lead Cloud to a small door on the side of one of the quanset huts. It lead down deep into the Earth and it seemed like they walked for a long time. </p>
<p>Beneath the camp was a whole new world. Large machines and scientists in white lab coats scurried around on their own missions. </p>
<p>She lead him down metal staircases and they climbed down ladders to metal grate landings which lead to more stairs. </p>
<p>Eventually they touched down on the bottom floor which looked like a hangar under ground. Trucks and forklifts were here and there were some buildings. She led him to one and used passkey to open the door.</p>
<p>“What it this place?” He asked, amazed.</p>
<p>“It’s where you were… conceived.” She said cruelly.</p>
<p>The corridor was white and antiseptic and he felt really grungy here.</p>
<p>She lead him into a darkened room full of tanks. In the tanks swam horrors, tentacled things with single eyes and pulsing veins that followed him as he moved past.</p>
<p>“I don’t like this.” He said. He reached up and grabbed his head. In his brain he felt a word, powerful and it stopped him in his tracks.</p>
<p>“Mother.” He echoed the word aloud.</p>
<p>He looked over at Mara who was glaring at him in silent wonder.</p>
<p>At the end of the room were three smaller tanks. Inside were what appeared to be human fetuses.</p>
<p>“What?”  He remembered looking out of glass. Comprehending. He touched the glass and the small creature inside moved. He jumped back.</p>
<p>“Shinra scientists go to small villages and offer prenatal care. They implant them in women who are desperate for children. Mockingbirds.  Most of the women die before the birth, the few who live often die in childbirth. But one or two survive.”</p>
<p>“Those are???”</p>
<p>“Siblings, Cloud. Your siblings.”</p>
<p>There was a scream in his head and he buckled over. He grabbed either side of his head and grunted. </p>
<p>“Mother!!!!” He screamed and he felt someone or something touching the edge of his consciousness, something evil and dark and hungry. It wanted him. He pulled way in horror.</p>
<p>She pulled him through the door on the far side of the room. There was a vat there full of a yellow green liquid. It called to him. She shoved him into it. </p>
<p>“If I can’t have you, Raph can’t either!” She screamed.</p>
<p>He hit the warm liquid with a splash and then all the tensions fell out of him. It was warm and comforting. He held his breath as long as he could and then thought he might drown, but the liquid filled his lungs and he breathed naturally. He wanted to stay here forever.<br/>*****<br/>Tseng met Aerith on the corner. She held her flower basket and smiled.<br/>“How’s business, flower girl?” He asked. <br/>“Pretty good.” she replied. “I sold half a basket. 15 gil.”<br/>“Make it sixteen. I’ll take a blue one.”  She gave him the flower and he gave her a Gil. He put it in his lapel.<br/>“Let me walk you home.” he offered.<br/>“I can take care of myself.” She said defiantly. <br/>“I know. But they kind of pay me for it.” He offered her his arm. She took it. Then she doubled over and grabbed her head.<br/>“Cloud.” she whispered.<br/>*****<br/>Sephiroth was standing next to Zack near the front lines at Du Jang in Wu tai. <br/>“I say we just go in and take them.” Jake said.<br/>“Sure, you and I will do alone what the entire army has been trying to do for weeks. I like you confidence.” Seth retorted. “Hell, you don’t even need me. I’ll stay here and watch.”<br/>“Dunno why I’m your best friend. You’re kind of dick.” Zack offered.<br/>“Cos it’s me or the enlisted guys and you’re a snob.” Seth said and grabbed the binoculars again. At that moment he doubled over and grabbed his head. He moaned in pain for a second. <br/>”Seth?” He grabbed his friend. “Medic!”<br/>“No I’m fine. I… I have a brother. And someone is trying to kill him.”  He muttered.<br/>“Um, what?” Zack asked and helped him stand up.<br/>Seth stood up and his face was a wall of angry determination. <br/>“I hate it when you get this way.” Zack bitched.<br/>Seth grabbed the PA. “People of Du Jang. This is Sephiroth. I no longer have time to fuck with you. You will surrender the prisoners or I will personally come in there and kill every man and rape every woman.”<br/>Ten minutes later the gates of Du Jang opened and out came 2 haggard soldiers.<br/>“So, here’s my thing. Why didn’t we do that three days ago?” Zack asked.<br/>“I wasn’t pissed off three days ago. I’m going to find my brother, are you coming?”<br/> “Sure, I guess we’re done here anyway.” He said.<br/>*****<br/>“How’d it go with Shinra?” Jude asked Raph.</p>
<p>“I get him back at 6. Court ordered. Soon as we’re done here I’ll explain everything to him. Not sure if it’s a contract or if they are just fucking with me. Where is Tseng?”</p>
<p>“Said something about a flower girl.”  Raph nodded.  “You know, with everything he’s been through, you should get him a gift.” Jude offered.</p>
<p>“Like what. His whole interest spectrum is Sephiroth, video games, sex and motorcycle magazines.”</p>
<p>“Yes. He’s a teen aged boy.” Jude smiled. </p>
<p>Raph’s phone rang. “Yeah Tseng?… She WHAT???  I’m on the way there. Yes, fine I’ll meet you at home.”</p>
<p>“What?” Jude asked.</p>
<p>“Cloud is in the life stream.” Raph uttered, incredulous. </p>
<p>“He ok? I mean.. mako…”</p>
<p>“What do they make super soldiers out of, you reckon?” Raph asked. Jude thought for a minute and nodded. </p>
<p>“We better go.” He aid and stood. “But how the fuck did she access the Life stream from here?” Jude asked.</p>
<p>“Follow me.”<br/>__________</p>
<p>Raph walked purposefully to the door Mara had not twenty minutes ago taken Cloud through.</p>
<p>Once inside Raph waited a moment so Jude’s eyes could adjust.</p>
<p>“Follow me.” He said and turned and began to run. </p>
<p>Raph quickly descended the labyrinth sliding down ladders and leaping down staircases.  Jude had to run double time to keep up. </p>
<p>Raph moved like Cloud, deft and swift and graceful. Jude knew that Raph had volunteered for some of the Jenova works and was enhanced but had never seen him in action. He was amazing to watch.</p>
<p>At the bottom, Raph ran to a door and pulled out a pass key. He turn and saw that Jude was still sliding down the last ladder. He held up the key and when he realized Jude saw it he dropped it on the floor and moved through the door.</p>
<p>This lab gave Raph the creeps and so he stayed out of it whenever possible, had never pushed into it’s bowels.  The life stream was close, he could smell it, deep and black like fresh soil and the forest. At the end of the room something caught his eye. The fetuses. He shuddered and tried not to vomit and then pushed on.</p>
<p>He saw her on the other side of the room leaving through the far door and thought to chase her but then he saw Cloud floating there in the vat.  He jump/climbed the ladder and waited the Cloud floated near. He reached and grabbed him and pulled him up.</p>
<p>Cloud climbed up wet and sputtering. He was warm, like the lifestream.</p>
<p>Raph collapsed and pulled Cloud close.</p>
<p>“You ok?” Raph asked.</p>
<p>“Am I going to die, because it felt really good and there is the hottest girl I ever saw in there. And Sephiroth. If you were there it would be perfect…” He leaned up and kissed Raph and snuggled into his arms with a purr and fell into a deep sleep. The kiss tasted sweet and earthy all at the same time. </p>
<p>“He ok?” Jude asked. </p>
<p>Raph nodded. “Stay back, this stuff will kill you.” Raph whispered. </p>
<p>“Good cos I got a shitload more questions.” He said looking back at the room behind them.</p>
<p>*****<br/>Cloud woke up in Raph’s bed. He stretched and felt really strong, really healthy. He jumped up and ran downstairs and found Raph, Tseng and Jude in the kitchen.</p>
<p>“How are you?” Jude asked.  Cloud smiled and walked over to Raph, gave him a kiss on the lips and went to the fridge </p>
<p>“I’m freaking wonderful. What was that stuff?”  He asked</p>
<p>“Life stream. Mako…” Raph said. </p>
<p>Cloud turned to face them.</p>
<p>“I know.” he said. “What am I?”</p>
<p>“You’re half alien.  We found one a long time ago and Hojo has been conducting a breeding program.” Raph offered.</p>
<p>“Alien?” Cloud asked.</p>
<p>“A race of extraterrestrials from across the galaxy that used Gaia as their summer home. Your mothers name is Jenova.” Tseng told him. </p>
<p>“I’m an alien.” Cloud said. There was silence. “Am I a monster like those tentacle things?”</p>
<p>“No not at all. Your human DNA stabilizes you. Not many of you around.” Raph assured. </p>
<p>He was quiet for a long moment. He looked at Raph. “Do you still love me?”</p>
<p>Raph smiled. “I’ve always known, love.” He said “So, of course.”</p>
<p>Cloud nodded. “OK.”</p>
<p>“Oh, got you something, brat.” Raph said. Cloud smiled at the nick name.</p>
<p>“Yeah?”</p>
<p>Raph led Cloud to the garage and covered his face.</p>
<p>He opened the door and moved him into position and waited for Jude and Tseng to got into place.</p>
<p>“Here you go.” Raph said.</p>
<p>He pulled his hands away and showed him a brand new motorcycle.</p>
<p>“Is that….” Cloud walked closer and touched it worshipfully.</p>
<p>“Starflight, I think they call it. The most technologically advanced motorbike every constructed.”</p>
<p>“Oh, it has a double stanchion Oakley package with full mako injectors and dual grips and stand ups and a peak performance pack. And Oh shit, the leather package.”</p>
<p>“Leather package is the only thing he said that I understood.” Raph muttered.</p>
<p>“And not even the kind of leather package you’re thinking of.” Jude offered. Tseng snickered.</p>
<p>“Assholes. Tell me do you love it?” Raph asked.</p>
<p>“OMG yes! Is this for me? No way. Is this for me?” he asked.</p>
<p>“Well I would look ridiculous on the damned thing. Besides I told you I would get you a bike.”</p>
<p>Cloud reached out and pulled Raph close. He kissed him deeply. “I love you. Is this my moving in gift?”</p>
<p>“Are you moving in?” Raph asked with a wry smile.</p>
<p>“Am I? Figure I washed out of basic with all the time I missed.” Cloud said a little sadly.</p>
<p>“Are you kidding? You passed graduation 3 weeks early. You are working with Jude for the next three weeks. And yes you will be living here.”</p>
<p>“Yep. And I plan on killing you with paperwork.” Jude offered.</p>
<p>Cloud hugged Raph tightly. He turned back to the bike and stared at it for a long time.</p>
<p>“Something wrong?” Raph asked. </p>
<p>“No I’m trying to figure out how we’re going to have sex on it.” Cloud told him.</p>
<p>“Just like riding a bike, My love.” Raph said wistfully. Raph smiled then, touched Cloud’s cheek “I could ask for nothing more.” He whispered.</p>
<p>Tseng cleared his throat and suddenly he and Jude were remembered.</p>
<p>“Alright you two, I have a meeting. Show the boy how to ride this death machine.” Raph said. </p>
<p>He turned and quickly entered the house. He waited til the door shut to wipe away a tear.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Reboot</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>This chapter sets up the two future parts. Caution - world building. :D</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The Four Loves of Cloud Strife</p><p> </p><p>Part one – The Breaking of Cloud Strife</p><p>Reboot</p><p> </p><p>If I couldn't sleep could you sleep<br/>
Could you paint me better off<br/>
Could you sympathize with my needs<br/>
I know you think I need a lot<br/>
I started out clean but I'm jaded<br/>
Just phoning it in<br/>
Just breaking the skin<br/>
Can you help me I'm bent<br/>
I'm so scared that I'll never<br/>
Get put back together</p><p>Bent, Matchbox 20</p><p> </p><p>Tseng and Jude took Cloud to the Zero g Lab. He wasn’t sure why.</p><p>As he entered, Tseng came over and took the handlebars from him. He released it.</p><p>“Do you remember your time at the institute?” He asked and Cloud shook his head. “When you were small, you were sick a lot. Frequently in the hospital. Do you remember that?”</p><p>Cloud nodded and swallowed. Something lurked in the pit of his stomach and he was pretty sure he didn’t want to see it, to know it.</p><p>“I was your sensei.”  He said.</p><p>There was a foggy, dizzy feeling in his head and he grabbed his temples. Nausea rose and he stumbled forward.</p><p>“You are remembering the Amnestic. It make you quite sick. I made several requests to have it changed.  There is a certain amount of pain I must allow for you, my student.”</p><p>“The… the garden…”</p><p>“Yes, the garden. We trained there.  I think you were happy there. Do you remember what you called me?”</p><p>Cloud started to say “Sensei”, but he shook his head. “Tseng-ue.” He said.</p><p>Tseng nodded. He smiled and reached out for Cloud. Cloud walked forward and embraced Tseng.</p><p>“I have missed you, my son. So many absent fathers. The one who conceived you, the one that was killed. And me, the one who was stolen from your mind. I have always been and will always be watching over you. I am sorry, so sorry I have failed you. I am sorry about Mara. It will not happen again.”</p><p>Cloud wept and grasped Tseng, held him and let his pain fall out. Tseng held him, it was the embrace of the Father Cloud had always wanted.</p><p> </p><p>You will bring my name and my family great honor.” Tseng said.</p><p>Cloud shook his head.  “I’m broken.”</p><p>“In Wu Tai, we take broken things and pour gold in the cracks. The end result is beautiful and functional. You had to be broken, Cloud. We all do. So we can be filled with gold. Now, let us teach you how to ride this bike.”</p><p>“Sit on it and turn the handle.” Cloud said and wiped his face.</p><p>“I forget you are still a child with much to learn.” Tseng said and touched his cheek.</p><p>He threw his leg over the bike and revved it to life. He wound it all the way out and released the break, the bike roaring to life and kicking up on one wheel. Once vertical Tseng started an intricate series of acrobatics. The bike went from back tire to front tire, and did flips, 360’s and burnouts. It was more a dance or a kata then riding a motorcycle.</p><p>Cloud watched, mouth agape. Tseng finished and rode over and dismounted.</p><p>“Well?” Tseng asked.</p><p>Cloud stood upright and bowed as Tseng had taught him as a child. “I am your student, Tseng-ue. Teach me.”</p><p>“Gods I have missed you, boy.” he said and turned to Jude.  “Would you do the honors at the control panel?” Tseng asked.</p><p>“Only if you teach me some of that shit.” Jude said and walked toward the zero g controls.</p><p>*****</p><p>Cloud ran into the house and found Raph. He walked behind him at his desk and wrapped his arms around him.</p><p>“Did you have fun, Love?” Raph asked as Cloud kissed his cheek.</p><p>“Did you know Tseng-ue taught me fighting when I was little?” He asked.  Raph nodded and shifted some of the paper on his desk. “Why didn’t you tell me?” He asked.</p><p>“I assumed you knew. Of course, where Shinra is concerned I should have no such Hubris.”</p><p>“I don’t remember it. Why not?”</p><p>“They gave you drugs called Amnestics. They get rid of memories.”</p><p>“But I can still fight.” He said.</p><p>Raph turned the chair and pulled Cloud into his lap.</p><p>“Martial training relies heavily on muscle memory. Memories are stored in a lot of places. Like fighting is stored in one place and languages in another. Do you remember you can speak different languages?”</p><p>“I can?”  Raph smiled.</p><p>“Of course you can, I’m speaking in Di Choa gi. A Dialect from the Saow Seng region of Wu tai…”</p><p>“I understood that!” Cloud said.  Raph nodded.</p><p>“Shinra has put all sorts of things in that head of yours. You are a super soldier, love. They need you to have lots of skills.”</p><p>“What else can I do?” He asked and jumped up, grabbed a cane out of the stand near Raph’s desk and started twirling it in a very intricate pattern. “Holy crap! Look at this.”</p><p>“Do be careful love. Take that outside.”  Cloud stopped and put the cane away.</p><p>“Maybe I can secretly cook, I just haven’t found the place in my brain it lives…” Cloud said and turned and quickly left the room…</p><p> </p><p>“Love… no” Raph jumped up and followed him. As he walked out of the door, Cloud leapt on him from outside the door and kissed him.</p><p>“I knew I could get you away from all that paperwork…” Cloud smiled.</p><p>“You cheeky monkey,” Raph said and kissed him back. “I have so much work to do, Brat.”</p><p>“Please. I need you.” Cloud said. Raph looked in his blue, blue eyes and melted into them. He couldn’t tell him no.</p><p>And then he saw it, Cloud’s eyes fluttered.</p><p>“Are you alright love?” Raph asked.  Cloud nodded.</p><p>“I am a very bad boy.” Cloud said and kissed his neck, pulled him to the bedroom.</p><p>“What are you up to?” Raph asked as they entered the bedroom. Cloud stepped back and slowly took off his clothing. He let if fall to the floor.  Raph was mesmerized.</p><p>He almost missed the shudder of the tremor that moved through Cloud’s body.</p><p>“Love, I don’t think…”</p><p>“Shu.’ Cloud walked over and wrapped around him.  “Don’t. You promised you’d tie me up. Truss me so I can’t struggle away. Now, I need it now.”</p><p>Raph was uncomfortable but something in Cloud’s demeanor let him know it was important.</p><p>“Get on the bed.” He said, watching Cloud. The boy jumped on the bed and lay back.</p><p>Raph went into the closet and pulled out some silk rope. He turned back and Cloud was on his stomach with his hands behind his back. Raph smiled and wrapped the boys hands tightly.</p><p>“Tighter.” Cloud said.</p><p>“They are already…”</p><p>“Tighter. Do it tighter.” He said.</p><p>“Love, I don’t want to hurt you badly.”</p><p>“I need you to make me bleed, Raph.” Cloud said.</p><p>“No, absolutely not…” Raph said and leaned back</p><p>“Fine untie me and I’ll find someone who will.” Cloud said and squirmed.</p><p>“What the fuck is going on with you?” Raph asked and sat on the bed next to Cloud.</p><p>“My brain, Raph. It’s… Static, I can’t hear, I need...I need hurt me. I need pain to make the static go away. The others are here…”</p><p>“I’m calling a doctor.” Raph got up.</p><p>“No, No, I’m fine. not a doctor. That won’t help. I don’t know why but I know what I need. Make love to me.” Cloud rolled over and leaned up. He kissed Raph. “Please, please, I need you.”</p><p>Raph reluctantly kissed him back and untied him.</p><p>Cloud wrapped around him desperately and kissed him, pushed him back and went to work with that amazing tongue. Raph couldn’t help himself he became lost in their love making and soon entered Cloud, pressing him face down on the bed.</p><p>Cloud trembled and made a choking noise.</p><p>“Cloud we should…” Raph began.</p><p>“Do not fucking stop.” Cloud said in an urgent, gurgling voice. He almost stopped, “Please, please…” It was so desperate and he could not deny him.</p><p>Raph did as Cloud asked. He kissed his back gently and continued his slow, easy press into the boy.</p><p>Cloud came with a scream and collapsed onto the bed as if he was unconscious.</p><p>Raph stopped and pulled out and rolled Cloud over.</p><p>“Love. Love!” Cloud eyes fluttered open and he smiled.</p><p>“Better.” Cloud said almost drunkenly.</p><p>“What is better?” Raph demanded.</p><p>“I… I don’t know. It was like static and this high pitched whine and then there were other… “me’s” there. One was hiding in a corner and talking about Mara and how he had to get back to her. How she was going to be mad. And the other Cloud, he just kept telling him to shut up and saying “Whatever. And he said I needed you to hurt me…”</p><p>Raph looked down and realized Cloud was bleeding badly. He examined the wounds and realized the boy had bitten himself so hard he’s broken the skin.</p><p>“And then there was this pop and everything was ok. It got quiet and…” Cloud was saying oblivious to his injuries.</p><p>“Bathroom, now.” Raph said in a commanding tone and Cloud jumped up and did as he was bid.  He followed and grabbed his first aid kit.</p><p>Raph cleaned the wounds, where were several and bandaged them.  “What in bloody hell is going on?” Raph asked. He cleaned Cloud up, drowsy Cloud who was like a rubber band. He half carried him back to bed and tucked him in.</p><p>“You’re going to leave me. Send me away. I know it. I’m too broken for anyone to love.” Cloud said and turned over. Raph laid next to him and hugged him.</p><p>“I have never loved any one or any thing as much as I love you. I don’t care what happens to you. If you become, gods forbid paralyzed or lose a limb or become a catatonic mess in my corner, I will keep you right here with me. I will take care of you forever. You are mine, Cloud Strife.”</p><p>Cloud tuned and buried his face in Raph’s chest and lay there til he fell into a fitful sleep.</p><p>Raph got up and dressed.  He grabbed his smart pad and went downstairs.</p><p>“Yeah?” Jude said looking up from a Barbecue grill.</p><p>“What the fuck did you do to my boy?”  Raph asked and he sounded really pissed off.</p><p>“We taught him motorcycle shit.” Jude said. “He’s good. What?”</p><p>“He just had a series of micro seizures while demanding I hurt him…”</p><p>“OK, that’s new.” Jude said.</p><p>“More Disturbing news. He said he heard static and a high pitched noise and saw two duplicates of himself.”</p><p>“Oh. What were they like….”</p><p>“Like your findings.” Raph said.</p><p>“Tseng jogged a memory from the institute. Them in the garden. OK, everyone needs to quit fucking in this kid’s brain.”</p><p>“Yeah. That would be good or I will fucking disappear with him.”</p><p>“No line is secure, Raph. I’ll be there in 20. Let me get my steaks off.” He hung up.</p><p>*****</p><p>“Thank you for coming.” Raph said and put down who glasses of scotch.</p><p>“Breaking out the good stuff, hun?” Jude said and picked up the glass.</p><p>“I appreciate Crezz for letting you go. How was court?”</p><p>“That crazy bitch didn’t show up. Judge found for Crezz. He’s divorced and all mine. Guess we’re getting married next year.” Jude said and sipped at the scotch.</p><p>“Oh dear, I’ve interrupted your celebration.” Raph said.</p><p>“I was a doctor when he got together with me.  He gets emergencies.  And he feels bad about all this so…”</p><p>“He shouldn’t. No one could have known what Mara was capable of. I can’t prove it but I think she called Andy’s men. Her story doesn’t jibe. She didn’t call me when he was kidnapped.”</p><p>“How’d you find out?” Jude asked.</p><p>“He called me from the trunk of the car. I still get so angry when I think about it. I have all of Shinra on alert for that bastard. He’s abandon the lab…”</p><p>“Yeah, if you were pissed at me I’d run too.” Jude smiled and finished the scotch.</p><p>“Another?” Raph asked and Jude shook his head. “I’m worried about him. This is an escalation in the fragmentation isn’t it?”</p><p>“Maybe. Maybe he’s trying to reintegrate. I need an MRI and a few days to talk to him.” Jude said and leaned back.</p><p>“Yes, of course. I’ll bring him to the base hospital tomorrow.”</p><p>Just then Cloud came tiptoeing into the room and climbed timidly into Raph’s lap.</p><p>“Don’t leave me.” He whispered in Raph’s ear and then was still and breathing lightly with a little snore.</p><p>“Sleepwalking. That is scared Cloud. Personality 2. Has he ever done that before?” Jude asked.  </p><p>Raph shook his head. "Not even in Nibelheim.”</p><p>Jude thought for a minute. “He said one of this alters told you what to do?”</p><p>“Yes, I think the one he calls “Whatever Cloud.”</p><p>“Cute.” Jude said. “And accurate. He can be a shit in that mode.”</p><p>“So you say mode?”</p><p>“I’m not sure if it’s a complete disassociation. Each one seems to remember what the others do. I think he can go over but is trying not to. I’ll need to talk to him when he wakes.”</p><p>“But you’re celebration.” Raph said.</p><p>“I’ll just move it to your hot tub.” Jude said and smiled. He grabbed his phone. “and Raph, if you do decide to... change the perimeters of the experiment, Tseng, Crezz and I are on board.”</p><p>Raph nodded. “Got it.” He said and shifted and lay Cloud down on the couch and covered him with a throw. He looked at him for a long time, worry and love filling him.</p><p>“You’re good for him, too.” Raph said. </p><p>“Thank you. I’ll call Tseng. Have him meet us at the hospital tomorrow. He needs to be there while things are decided.  Jude nodded and called Crezz.</p><p>“Just be careful with Tseng…” Jude said.</p><p>“Yes, he’s a company man.” Raph acknowledged.</p><p>“I don’t think so, Raph. Tseng has his own agenda. And as far as he’s concerned, that boy is, and always has been, his. You just passed muster to be his keeper for now. If anyone disappears Cloud it will be him and god damned if we ever find him.”</p><p>Raph nodded.</p><p>*****</p><p>Cloud woke on the couch and heard music and talking. He stood and stretched. He felt wonderful. His brain was clear and his senses sharpened. He heard Jude’s voice, smelled Crezz’ cologne and tasted Raph on his lips.</p><p>He walked out on the Lanai. Crezz was swimming and Jude was in the hot tub.</p><p>“Where is my boyfriend?” Cloud asked and rolled up his sleep pants.  He sat down on the edge of the hot tub and stuck his feet in.</p><p>“He went to get something from the store. He’ll be right back.” Jude said and regarded him. “How are you feeling?’’</p><p>“He told you, hun?” Cloud said.  Jude nodded. “Clear. I mean clear as a bell. I can hear the ripples Crezz is making as he gets close to the ladder at the far end of the pool and I can smell the brioche in the oven. There’s dill spread for it. And at the base, Sgt. Callen is calling cadence as the new recruits run out toward the desert field…”</p><p>Crezz came over and Jude gave him a weird look. He climbed into the tub and sat next to Jude.</p><p>“So your senses are sharper?” Crezz asked.</p><p>“Yes, and I feel like I’m thinking faster. Clearer. I feel… smarter. And like I could run to Midgar without stopping.”</p><p>“What happened earlier?”  Jude asked.</p><p>“I… glitched.” Cloud said.</p><p>“What do you mean, glitched?” Jude asked.</p><p>“It’s like things just got more and more cloudy over the past few days and then this static started and the other guys showed up.  Whatever Cloud kept saying, “We need to reboot.”</p><p>“Reboot.” Jude sad for clarification.  Cloud nodded.</p><p>“While me and Raph were… doing it… The noise got really loud and I bit myself because it felt so good and then I tasted the blood and bit somewhere else and then when I… you know… finished, there was this pop in my head and I went to sleep. The Raph woke me up and took me to the bathroom and cleaned my wounds. And I went back to sleep.”</p><p>“Crezz, will you use your clearance to get me access to something?” Jude asked.</p><p>Crezz nodded. “Worth the court-martial?” Crezz asked as jumped out of the tub and grabbed his smart pad from the table nearby.”</p><p>“He’s in your command, technically you should be able to look at it.”</p><p>He nodded.</p><p>“Look up a647, counter word Cloud.”</p><p>“What’s that?” Cloud asked.</p><p>“You’re experiment file.” Jude said. Cloud shuddered.</p><p>Jude grabbed the phone and read, flipped and read for a half hour. While he did Cloud heard Raph come in.  He jumped up and walked wet into the house.</p><p>“Arcidian rose marble.” Raph said as he looked down at the floor Cloud was dripping on. Cloud ignored him and threw himself around Raph.</p><p>“You left me.” Cloud said and nuzzled Raph. “And you ate pizza without me.” He said and frowned playfully.</p><p>“Yes I…  Are you alright, darling?”</p><p>“Well, I feel fantastic, I’m finally a person and I am madly in love with you, so… yeah, I’m ok.” He leaned forward and kissed Raph with great passion.</p><p>“We have guests, don’t start anything rude.” Raph whispered and unpacked some groceries.  “I made you a shake…”</p><p>“Ew… thanks.”</p><p>Cloud went and opened the fridge and grabbed the shaker. He shook it hard and downed it then made a face.  “I’m going to go for a jog.” He said and turned to go upstairs.</p><p>“I think you should stay close.”</p><p>“I agree” Jude said, entering the room.</p><p>“I’m fine…” Cloud said.</p><p>“Yes, you are. Now. Tomorrow we’ll take an MRI and figure out what happened.”</p><p>“Oh, you could go and play that new video game.” Raph offered.</p><p>Cloud frowned and nodded. “I’d rather go to the gym.” Cloud said and Raph nodded.  Cloud hit the stairs and disappeared.</p><p>“It’s a reset button.” Raph said.</p><p>“What?”</p><p>“If he gets too stressed he … um glitches. His word. It resets everything and wipes out the cortisol complexes. It’s designed to keep him from popping a wing.”</p><p>Raph nodded. “Clever. So how does that work? Why violence and sex?”</p><p>“Powerful chemicals released into the brain with both and they are cathartic. I still want to see him tomorrow.”</p><p>“He’s all yours for a few hours. Then he has Soldier prep.”</p><p>“Yeah I forgot. Tseng coming for him?” Raph nodded.  “Well, that should get him level.”</p><p>“Is he going to be ok?” Raph asked and slid a cheesecake onto the counter.</p><p>“Yes. Better then his brothers, I think.”</p><p>“Maybe we should tell Seth about him…” Raph said.</p><p>“I’m told Seth already knows. We need to give Cloud time to settle I before we get them together. Seth is… volatile. They’ve been tracking an instability I him.”</p><p>“That isn’t good.” Raph said.</p><p>“If something happens.” Jude said.</p><p>“Yes, I know, Cloud will be the only thing to that can stop Seth. Lot to put on the shoulders of an abused 18 year old boy from Nibelheim.” he was silent for a minute. “I got Champagne for your victory.” Raph said and smiled very sadly.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. The Last Night</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The past rears it's ugly heads.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The Four Loves of Cloud Strife</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Part one – The Breaking of Cloud Strife<br/>Chapter 12<br/>The Last Night </p>
<p>Bend me shape me <br/>Misdirect me<br/>It's all the same to me<br/>Look at all this useless talk<br/>Upon the cross<br/>You look at me<br/>But you don't see<br/>Understand I'm a sinner<br/>Don't corner me<br/>Don't lecture me<br/>Raise your hands <br/>You're a sinner<br/> Sinner, Drowning pool</p>
<p>*****</p>
<p>Seth stood at the edge of the battlefield. He thought about Cloud.</p>
<p>They were definitely brothers. He got the same feelings as when he was with Angeal or Genesis, but this was much, much stronger, the connection was almost palpable.</p>
<p>The others were only half siblings, but this Cloud, he was a real, true brother.</p>
<p>Seth needed that connection. He needed grounding. He would never tell anyone, not even Zack but the variant thoughts and voices were coming more frequently, and stronger.  Mother was closer than ever to entering his brain.</p>
<p>But not when he was connected to Cloud. Together the boys would be more powerful than even Jenova.</p>
<p>The bottom line was Seth needed Cloud to be with him to keep him from going insane and he knew it.</p>
<p>He picked up his smart pad and called Command.</p>
<p>“Any word?” He demanded.</p>
<p>“No Sephiroth. Not at all.” The corpsman said in a tired sigh. “Can you get a last name or something?”</p>
<p>“How fucking hard can it be to find a man named Cloud who has spikey blond hair and Mako blue eyes?”  Seth demanded.</p>
<p>“Well, there are a billion people on this planet. I’m looking for one. Do the math.” The corpsman hung up.</p>
<p>Fury seethed in Seth and he put his phone away. He swallowed it and took a deep breath. Zack came over.</p>
<p>“Looks like they’re coming back for the hill. Your orders?” He asked.</p>
<p>“So formal.” Seth cooed. “What’s wrong, Zack, afraid I’ll bite?”</p>
<p>“Yeah, I know that look Seth. They didn’t find him yet?” </p>
<p>Seth shook his head and his rage turned to sadness.  “I need him, Zack. I know none of you believe me but he is real and I need him.”</p>
<p>“For what it’s worth, Seth, I do believe you. Hell, freaky shit happens around you guys all the time. I just don’t get the urgency. Why do you need him so badly?” Zack asked. He put his hand on Seth’s shoulder.</p>
<p>“I can’t explain. You have a mother, a father. That little girl in Midgar with the flowers.  Brothers. Cloud is like me. Completely. I… I need my family. I need us to be together.”</p>
<p>“OK, I’ll call in a few more favors. Your orders?” He asked.</p>
<p>“Kill them all and let the gods sort them out. Yes?”</p>
<p>“Right, keep the hill at all costs. Got it.” He turned to go.</p>
<p>“I do appreciate you, Zack.” He said.</p>
<p>“I know. He’s your kid brother. I get it.”</p>
<p>Seth smiled.</p>
<p>*****<br/>Cloud lay very still in the MRI. He was cold and should have taken the extra blanket they offered. It whirred and clicked and made a snapping noise over and over again.</p>
<p>“OK, Cloud. This is gonna be weird. I want you to think about yesterday with Raph. About your… together time.” Jude said.</p>
<p>Instantly the boy’s brain responded. It lit up like a Christmas tree in all the right places.</p>
<p>“Yep, look at the cascades, they’re so clear and textbook I can tell you what he’s making. This red band is dopamine, this yellow on Serotonin. Oxytocin in the purple. There are about 6 neuro-chemicals washing his brain right now.”</p>
<p>“Can we reproduce them?” The tech asked.</p>
<p>“Maybe. I’ll get a team and see what we can come up with.” Jude offered and opened the door to let Cloud out of the machine.</p>
<p>“How’d I do?” He asked.</p>
<p>“Great. Of course, all you had to do was lay there and think about sex. As I recall that is a specialty of 18 year old boys.”</p>
<p>Cloud smiled.</p>
<p>“Cool, I need to go with Tseng for Soldier training.” Cloud said, containing his excitement.</p>
<p>“That is exciting. How are you going to deal with being away from Raph?” Jude said.</p>
<p>“I’ll miss him but I’ll be back. I mean he goes to Midgar to work so it will be like that. I’ll be away at work right?”</p>
<p>Jude nodded. “I meant the glitch. What will you do if you glitch? You going to cheat on Raph?”</p>
<p>“I… I hadn’t… thought about it. I… What should I do?” Cloud asked.</p>
<p>“You should talk to Raph and come up with a plan.” Jude said.</p>
<p>“Thanks, Jude… Do you think…”</p>
<p>“What?”</p>
<p>“No, it’s nothing.” Cloud said.</p>
<p>“You sure?” He said.</p>
<p>“Do you think Raph would ever marry me?” Cloud asked.</p>
<p>“Well, I think you should give that some time. You want to marry him?”</p>
<p>“Yeah, I think I do.” Cloud said and ran off to the locker room to change.</p>
<p>*****</p>
<p>Cloud came back from the first day of Soldier Training covered in sweat and mud. He walked into the foyer and started to go upstairs but Raph stopped him.</p>
<p>“NO, no. no.” Raph yelled. “Strip.”</p>
<p>“Um… ok. Can we put down a blanket. The tile is cold.”</p>
<p>“Are you being cheeky with me? Take of those filthy clothes before you track mud through this house.” Raph said with a wry smile.</p>
<p>Cloud matched his smile and slowly unbuttoned his shirt. He took it off and let it drop to the floor. Then he slid up the tee shirt and dropped it a well.</p>
<p>He undid his belt and pants and slowly, painstakingly slid them down until the revealed his pubic hair and very defined pelvic bones. He unconsciously used his hand to cover the Mara Mark there. Raph was rapt, watching his every move.</p>
<p>He leaned down and with his free hand untied his boots and kicked them off and then turned away and dropped his pants to to the floor. He stood there asked except for the beige socks.</p>
<p>“Oh, those socks just make the look.” Raph laughed and Cloud lifted his feet one after another and took off the socks, winging the over his head at Raph. He then turned around and modeled for him.</p>
<p>“You like?” He asked.</p>
<p>Raph nodded and came over and kissed him gently on the nose.  Cloud grabbed him and pulled him close and kissed him deeply.</p>
<p>“I love you, but you stink,” Raph said.</p>
<p>“Want to come and wash me?” Cloud said and dashed for the stairs. Raph used his enhancement and caught him before he could get far. “How did you do that!” Cloud asked.</p>
<p>“You aren’t the only one with Jenova cells.” He said.</p>
<p>Cloud looked at him for a long moment. “Are we… brothers?” He asked uncomfortably.</p>
<p>Raph laughed out loud. “No love. I was given a few treatments with some cells and Mako. It helps me be a little faster and stronger. So… kissing cousins.” Raph kissed him and ran up the stairs. Cloud followed.</p>
<p>They showered and made love, Cloud pushed against the back wall of the shower, water cascading down them, steam surrounding them as they locked in passion.</p>
<p>After they dried each other off and climbed on the huge bed. Cloud put his head on Raph’s chest.</p>
<p>“I could stay here forever.” Cloud said.</p>
<p>“I could too but I have a late meeting in Midgar. You’re on your own tonight, I’m afraid.”</p>
<p>“No! Did you leave me one of those TV dinners and a nasty shake?” Cloud whined.</p>
<p>“I’m afraid so, love.” Raph teased as if Cloud had ever had a TV dinner from him.  “TV dinner. Please. There is a steak in the warmer with mashed potatoes and vegetables. And there is a tart for dinner in the fridge. And a nasty shake which you will drink since you didn’t this morning.</p>
<p>“Fine, I’ll eat your gruel and chain myself in the dungeon…” Cloud said and flopped back on the bed melodramatically.</p>
<p>“Oh dear, poor thing. Forced to stay all by himself for twelve hours in a house full of toys and gadgets with films and shows on demand and no less than 4 gaming systems, a motorcycle and a pool and hot tub.  The injustice!”</p>
<p>“I could go with you. I could go and dance while you work and then we could do something…”</p>
<p>“Not tonight Love. It’s going to be very late and Tseng is coming for you at 8 am.”</p>
<p>“Fine. You suck.” Cloud said and rolled over on Raph and straddled him.</p>
<p>“No, sir. I need to go to work…”  Raph said sternly. Cloud grinned and got a wicked smile.  “I mean it, Cloud Strife…” He reached down and began to tickle Raph, who wrestled for a moment and then flipped him over on his back. Raph leaned down and kissed Cloud, gently and with great passion and heard him moan.</p>
<p>He then jumped off the bed and went to his closet.</p>
<p>“You are so MEAN!” Cloud charged and threw himself back on the bed with a bounce.</p>
<p>Raph chuckled and laid out his clothing.</p>
<p>Cloud watched as his lover dressed in the power suit.</p>
<p>“You are so handsome dressed like that.” Cloud said and rolled to the end of the bed, laid on his stomach as Raph sat down on the edge of the bed.</p>
<p>“Yes, I like to see you in your uniform. Especially in your dress blues. And when you make Soldier, you’ll look good in the black. I rather like you in sweaters.”</p>
<p>“Then I’ll wear them more often.” Cloud said.</p>
<p>“You rest. Be sure to make your training if I’m not back.” Raph said.</p>
<p>“Are you cheating on me?” Cloud asked suddenly. Raph looked at him.</p>
<p>“What?” Raph asked. “Of course not, you little satyr, I have nothing left for another lover. Why?”</p>
<p>“You’ve never had an overnight meeting.” Cloud said.</p>
<p>“Yes, well. We’re doing a few facility inspections. Better at night when the staff is minimal. I’ll message you frequently.”  Raph kissed Cloud and grabbed his briefcase. He noticed Raph put an expanding blade in his coat pocket.</p>
<p>“Are you in danger?” Cloud asked.</p>
<p>Raph turned to him. “Always, love. So are you. So be careful. I love you.”</p>
<p>Raph disappeared leaving Cloud alone with his thoughts.</p>
<p>*****</p>
<p>The smart pad beeped and Seth reached over and grabbed it. He’d only been asleep for two hours and was groggy.</p>
<p>“Sephiroth.” He said.</p>
<p>“I got a name.” He heard. The corpsman. The one with the insufferable attitude.</p>
<p>“What name?” Seth asked. He sat up and tried to focus.</p>
<p>“Cloud Strife. Did I wake you? I can call back.”</p>
<p>“What did you say?” Seth was awake now. This was a tangible piece of his brother.</p>
<p>“Cloud Strife. Born in Nibelheim, mother part of the infertility clinics run by Shinra 18 years ago, most of his files are so classified I can’t even see the filenames.”</p>
<p>Seth sat up and grabbed his boots. “Where is he?” He demanded.</p>
<p>“That I don’t know.”</p>
<p>“Why the hell not?”</p>
<p>“Did you not hear. Most of this is classified and I am a lowly Corpsman. I just got a name out of dumb luck out of Nibelheim birth records. Looks like a lot of the fetuses were implanted there. Lot of infertility because of the Mako. Mako was good for the babies. And the local government was easy to buy off…”</p>
<p>“They hid him. Those bastards…” Seth hissed. “The Shinra and the townspeople.”</p>
<p>“What would you have done if you knew, Seth? You were ten,” The Corpsman asked.</p>
<p>“I was still Sephiroth.” He said, his arrogance flowing</p>
<p>Zack sat up. “Seth, you need to calm down.” Zack modulated his voice and Seth relaxed. “You have a name and where he was born.  Hey, when we he born?” The corpsman read the date. “He’d be 18.”</p>
<p>Seth smiled. “I have an 18 year old brother named Cloud Strife.” Seth said.</p>
<p>“Congrats, dude. Keep digging, find him. And apologize for calling Seth a nutbag.” Zack said</p>
<p>“You called me a what?”</p>
<p>“Sorry…” He said quickly and hung up.</p>
<p>“Congratulations, it’s a boy.” Zack said. “Now can we sleep? We only got 4 more hours.”  They laid down on their bunks and were soon unconscious.</p>
<p>*****<br/>It took four hours for boredom to find Cloud.  He was surrounded by gizmos and gadgets but his favorite toy was Raph and he was at a meeting.</p>
<p>“I’ll just go to Midgar for a few hours and then come back by midnight.” He said as he dressed his favorite tee shirt, the one signed by Cray Falstin, Quarter edge for Trinity, his favorite gravball team and his best fitting jeans, and over that he threw his bomber jacket. Favorite dancing shoes and he was ready to find trouble.</p>
<p>He climbed on the Starflight and drove to the airfield. As he climbed off, the valet took the Starflight and began to wheel it toward the holding bay.</p>
<p>“Is that a Starflight?” This young man asked.</p>
<p>Cloud nodded and looked after it as if it were his child being taken away. “It was a gift…”</p>
<p>“Some gift, that’s an 80k bike!” The young man said and walked over to Cloud.  </p>
<p>“Yeah. Riding it is almost as good as sex.” Cloud said and grinned.</p>
<p>“I bet. Maybe we can get together and ride sometime. I have a Wellspring, it’s fun but no Starflight…”</p>
<p>“Yeah sure, maybe you can ride it sometime.” Cloud said and the boy’s eyes lit up.</p>
<p>“Really?  I’m Mills by the way. Hey, are you going anywhere special? We could hang out.”</p>
<p>“Yeah, sure. Nowhere, I was just bored. I can’t stay long, I have Solder training in the morning.  I’m Cloud.” He said.</p>
<p>“No way!” Mills erupted. “Cloud Strife! Super Soldier!  You decimated the course and broke like 12 field records. They say you’re gonna be better than Sephiroth.”</p>
<p>“He’s my older brother.” Cloud said.</p>
<p>“No fucking way!  Dude, you have to hang out with me! Please!”</p>
<p>“Fine, I was just going clubbing. Tag along… Aren’t you going with your friends?” Cloud asked.</p>
<p>“Those guys? Naw, I’ll see them tomorrow. Besides they’re already high, they won’t miss me.”</p>
<p>“High on what?” Cloud asked, curious.</p>
<p>“Um. Teapot. It’s like groove weed.” Mills said seriously.</p>
<p>Cloud laughed. “That sounds ridiculous. We can get some Heylon when we get to the city.” Cloud said.</p>
<p>“Heylon?  Holy fuck, you are cool!”  Cloud basked in that. It was amazing to be worshiped like this. Mills hung on his every word and followed him to the jump jet that was going to Midgar.</p>
<p>They sat together and Mills asked a million questions which Cloud answered in monosyllables. He wanted to say more, he just had never really had a friend his own age to hang out with and was mystified by the dynamic. It didn’t matter, the less Cloud said the cooler Mills seemed to think he was.</p>
<p>They landed in the city and Cloud hailed a town car.</p>
<p>“Mr. Strife. Is Mr. Nevelle with you tonight?” The driver asked and Cloud shook his head.</p>
<p>“Naw, he has Shinra meetings</p>
<p>“Where would young sir like to go?” The driver asked.</p>
<p>“I don’t know. Mills, where do we want to go?” Cloud asked.</p>
<p>“Hottest club in town. Newbury Lane.” Mills said and Cloud shrugged as they got in.</p>
<p>*****<br/>“I do not believe we are here.” Mills said again as they drank their second beer.</p>
<p>“Raph as a lot of Clout. Everyone knows I’m his.” Cloud offered.</p>
<p>“What, like some kind of sex slave?” Mills asked.  </p>
<p>Cloud’s eyes darkened and he looked away.</p>
<p>“No, he’s my boyfriend.  Partner. We live together.” Cloud said.</p>
<p>“Do you love him?” Mills asked.</p>
<p>Cloud nodded and smiled, instantly lightening. “He’s perfect.” He said and downed his beer.  “Wanna dance?”</p>
<p>Mills nodded and they both stepped on the dance floor.</p>
<p>Cloud was an excellent dancer and Mills was not bad himself. Soon they found themselves surrounded by women vaguely older then themselves who were drunk and pressing in for their attention.</p>
<p>One girl, in her early twenties grabbed Cloud and shoved her lips on his and ground herself into his body. Cloud looked at Mills and shrugged, grabbed the girl back and maneuvered her away from him with what looked like a dance move. She didn’t know what happened, only that she was now on the outside of the crowd surrounding the boys.</p>
<p>“How’d you do that?” Mills asked.</p>
<p>“Most people run from people like that. If you engage them it takes their guard down and then you can move them wherever you want them.” Cloud smiled. “Let people think you’re giving them what they want and they’ll eventually trust you. They’ll go away.”</p>
<p>“You learn that in tactics?” Mills asked.</p>
<p>“No.” Cloud said and he frowned a bit and thought about Mara.</p>
<p>“This is fucking AWESOME!” Mills yelled and Cloud smiled and danced harder.</p>
<p>*****</p>
<p>About three hours later they stopped and Cloud looked at this smart pad.</p>
<p>“We gotta go!” He yelled, it was midnight and Tseng would have his ass in a sling. Mills nodded and they walked out the front of the club.</p>
<p>“What’s up?” Mills asked.</p>
<p>“I got training in the morning and Tseng-ue will kill me.”</p>
<p>Mills nodded. “Well, it was fun.” Mills said.</p>
<p>“I’ll get us a car.” Cloud said and Mills impulsively leaned up and kissed him. Cloud kissed back, not out of any mutual feeling, just out of habit. It had been ingrained in him that he never say no by Mara.</p>
<p>He kissed him for a few minutes. Mills pulled him into a nearby alley and pushed him against the wall and his hands began to roam. It made Cloud feel uncomfortable, like he knew he was doing something wrong This gave him will. He pushed Mills back. “I… I can’t.” Cloud said. “Please don’t make me.” Cloud said.</p>
<p>“I... thought….”</p>
<p>“I like you and I’d like to be friends but.. I’m with Raph and I don’t want to hurt him…” he said.</p>
<p>“Oh.” Mills said.</p>
<p>“But if not, well, sure I’d be all over you I guess.” Cloud offered and smiled. “Come on. Let’s walk, and we’ll get a car in a little while.”</p>
<p>Mills nodded.</p>
<p>“So, still want to ride with me. I mean, I didn’t upset you?” Mills asked.</p>
<p>“I’m flattered, not upset.” Cloud offered and it was true. “Yeah, hell yeah, we’ll ride and do you play “World of combat?” Cloud asked.</p>
<p>“Yeah!”</p>
<p>“I need a guy on my team, and you and I can go to grav ball. Raph has a quarter box and it’s like being in the game, it’s awesome.”</p>
<p>“So, we can be friends? I don’t have any of those.” Mills offered.</p>
<p>“What about the people you were with?” Cloud asked.</p>
<p>“They hang out with me because I have money. Hangers on and boy, are they stupid. I like talking to you.”</p>
<p>“How do they feel about you being gay?”  Cloud asked.</p>
<p>“They don’t know. I don’t think they’d care as long as I was buying. I figured it would be nice to hang out with someone richer than me and maybe you’d like me for me.” Mills offered.</p>
<p>“I got no friends. Zero. All the guys on the base hate me for fucking up the curve. I have Raph but some things you can’t talk to your boyfriend about. Jude is my therapist and when I talk to him I feel like he’s analyzing me. I mean I like him but I don’t think you can be friends with your shrink. Tseng-Ue is like my father. You can’t say things to him like I really love Raph but sometimes I just want to play with some tits.”  Cloud said with a laugh.</p>
<p>“You a boob man??” Mills asked.</p>
<p>“Yeah.” Cloud said. “In Nibelheim, where I’m from there was the girl, Tifa. I was in love with her from the fourth grade on. But in seventh grade she got the biggest boobs I’ve ever seen and I really, really want a look at those... Maybe a taste.”</p>
<p>“So you go both ways?” Mills said.</p>
<p>“I think I’m straight but I’m in love with Raph. Does that make sense? I mean, certain guys, maybe???”</p>
<p>A car pulled up then with Shinra Flags and Cloud’s face dropped. He knew it was Raph coming to bust him.</p>
<p>“Fuck.” Cloud said.</p>
<p>The door opened and a man stepped out with a gun. Cloud froze and pushed Mills behind him.  </p>
<p>He saw Hojo and Andy in the car.</p>
<p>“Fuck, Fuck Fuck!  Run!” He yelled. He wished he had a weapon, cursed himself for not picking something up before he left.</p>
<p>Cloud took off as fast as he could, carrying Mills with him.</p>
<p>He heard the footsteps behind him and tripped over Mill’s slow feet. They both landed in a pile rolling to a stop. Cloud was a little stunned and Mills was out cold.</p>
<p>A moment later the thug was over them. Cloud felt the taser and his muscles locked. The car was coming back toward them. He tried to move and then his muscles relaxed wen the electric buzz faded. He slid his phone into Mills’ hands by rolling over on him and they pulled Cloud up.</p>
<p>He heard someone say “no witnesses”, Hojo he thought, then a gun shot and then he was thrown into the car and landed with his face in Mara’s lap.  The door shut behind him and the car took off. He felt her stroke his hair and fought back tears.<br/>*****</p>
<p>It hurt more then Mills had ever felt in his life.  The bullet lodged in his jaw and it looked really bad.</p>
<p>He hit a random button  the phone in his hands and heard the dial tone. An Asian man answered.</p>
<p>“Who are you and why do you have Cloud’s phone?” The man asked calmly, not acknowledging Mills appearance, though his face must have been a mess. He turned and click a picture of the retreating Shinra car. Then the boy looked in the camera again. He collapsed.</p>
<p>“I’ll send help to your GPS location.” Tseng said.</p>
<p>*****<br/>Tseng moved through the door silently and leaned at Raph’s side.</p>
<p>“I have to go. I am taking the car. You can find a way home?” Tseng asked.</p>
<p>“Yes, is everything alright?” He wanted to know and Tseng nodded.</p>
<p>“Turk Business.” He said and left the room again.</p>
<p>*****</p>
<p>“Reno, I want you to look up this license plate and find this car on GPS. Then grab Rude and Rod and go to it’s location. I’ll be there when you get there. Bring the chopper.” Tseng said into his phone. He might have barked the orders but didn’t need to.</p>
<p>“You got it, boss.” Reno said and hung up.</p>
<p>Tseng’s elevator opened and he strode out.</p>
<p>He walked to the car that had come and in climbed in.</p>
<p>He checked the plate from the boy’s message and searched for the gps chip every Shinra care had and found they were on the way to the airport. He was closer since they had to go to the club to grab the Cloud.  </p>
<p>He checked and made sure paramedics picked up the boy who called.</p>
<p>He then shoved his foot on the pedal and careened toward the airport.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0013"><h2>13. Goodbye</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>End of part 1 - Part two begins March 31</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The Four Loves of Cloud Strife</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Part one – The Breaking of Cloud Strife</p>
<p>Chapter 13</p>
<p>Goodbye</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I loved you in the morning, our kisses deep and warm<br/>
Your hair upon the pillow like a sleepy golden storm<br/>
Yes, many loved before us, I know that we are not new<br/>
In city and in forest they smiled like me and you<br/>
But now it's come to distances and both of us must try<br/>
Your eyes are soft with sorrow<br/>
Hey, that's no way to say goodbye</p>
<p>Leonard Cohen, That’s no way to say goodbye.<br/>
*****</p>
<p>“No, no, no… Please, let me go. Did you kill Mills?” he asked.</p>
<p>“Yes, Cloud and it’s your fault you know. Bringing in a witness like that.” Mara cooed.</p>
<p>“Hojo. Please.” Cloud said. “I’m your son.”</p>
<p>“You are my experiment, Cloud. Like all your brothers. And I’m not done testing you. But that’s ok, we have a remote location and as much time as we need…”</p>
<p>“No!” Cloud thrashed wildly, knocked out one of the guards and managed to kick Andy in the face. The other two guards fell on him and held him fast.</p>
<p>He saw the blue syringe and fought harder, threw one of them off and managed to spring to the car door. He grabbed the handle and Mara leaned in.</p>
<p>“Relax.” She said and he fell limp to the floor.  Hojo looked at her.</p>
<p>“It worked?”  She nodded, looking satisfied with herself. Before he regained conscious will they had injected him with a huge quantity of Daz and speech was beyond him.</p>
<p>He lay in the floor and watched the light turn into a face and smile at him.</p>
<p>Andy had the car stop at the gate.</p>
<p>“No matter who tried to come through, kill whomever is following us.”  The guard captain nodded and locked the gate.<br/>
*****</p>
<p>Tseng was not far behind them. Four Shinra guards stood in front of the gate and waved him off. He kicked on the afterburners and hit the gate broadside. The guards flew into the air and to their death. The car spun and took out two more guards and died.  </p>
<p>Tseng opened the door and came out firing duel machine guns, taking out four more guards but there were still twenty of them. The guns emptied and he tossed them away.</p>
<p>He drew the katana and with a leap, flipped in the air and landed on top of the car. He wheeled kicked off the other side and landed in the middle of three more Soldiers that he made quick work of.</p>
<p>Overhead, he saw the Turk chopper and heard Reno lay on the Gatling. He knew the boy was enjoying himself.</p>
<p>Tseng made a bee line for the car Cloud was being taken out of.</p>
<p>*****</p>
<p>“Hurry!” Mara said as Hojo and Andy tried to pull the limp Cloud out of the back of the town car.  The body guards moved to intercept Tseng.</p>
<p>“Well, help if it’s not going fast enough.” Andy said.</p>
<p>She turned and went into the plane and grabbed a blanket for him once he was out.</p>
<p>“Well Mara maybe you can keep this man. Once I’m done with him, that is.” Hojo offered.</p>
<p>“I’ll keep him in a box and send photos to Raph Fucking Nevelle every time I fuck him.” Mara seethed. “Tseng is coming and the stupid Turks are here.” She bitched.</p>
<p>*****</p>
<p>“Aw, I killed everybody. Now I’m bored. What should I do now, Tseng?” Reno asked.</p>
<p>“Go over to the plane and kill all of them except the boy.” Tseng ordered through his earpiece.</p>
<p>“No promises.” Reno said and moved the chopper in that direction.</p>
<p>*****</p>
<p>Tseng ran and two of the body guards intercepted him. One was an easy kill but the second was a skilled swordsman and as Tseng brought down his sword he met with the clash of steel on steel.</p>
<p>“I’m going to kick your ass, Tseng.” The body guard said.</p>
<p>“The battle is won in the mind long before it is won on the battle field. Whomever you are.” Tseng retorted.</p>
<p>“You don’t remember me?” The man said. “You got me fired from Shinra. Now I have to do shit body guard work.”</p>
<p>“You were probably fired because you have no honor.” Tseng said and pressed the man. The bodyguard met him blow for blow and gave no weakness. But Tseng could tell his barbs were making the man emotional.</p>
<p>“You really don’t remember me?  Arvin Gantry?”</p>
<p>“Complete blank. What did you do? Janitor?” He asked and the man feinted and telegraphed his blow and Tseng knew he had him.</p>
<p>“I was in line to be a Turk.”  That jogged Tseng’s memory, he had disliked this man and found him too offish for the Turks and had him dismissed.  The man had been too self-oriented. The Turks worked because they were a team.</p>
<p>“I do not remember you but I must say from your sloppy technique and poor banter I can see why I had you dismissed.”</p>
<p>The man lost his temper them and came at Tseng all fury, striking wildly and as hard as he could.</p>
<p>“I’m glad I didn’t make it, you self-involved prick, you and your stupid wisdom quotes, you piece of shit…”</p>
<p>“Then you're going to hate this one. ‘If you commit to battle, be ready to pay the cost.’”  Tseng took his moment and cleanly loped off the man’s right hand. The sword flew away into the night air and Tseng swung back and took his head.  “I have another one about never leaving an enemy alive behind you if you like.” Tseng offered and ran to the car.</p>
<p>*****<br/>
Reno circled the car with the chopper. He picked up the mic. “Surrender Dorothy.” He said. They all glared up at him. “Doesn’t anyone watch classic cinema anymore?”</p>
<p>“I got it.” Rude offered.</p>
<p>“Well, thanks. Let the boy go and I won’t shoot out your knees and make you die slowly…”</p>
<p>“You should start your negotiation lower, like letting the live.” Rude offered.</p>
<p>“But then I’d be lying. No way do I let them live.” His voice echoed over the PA as the mic was still keyed. </p>
<p>“You should turn off the mic, too, you’re kind of telling them the plan right now.” Rude said.</p>
<p> “I hate when I do that… Fast death, best offer.” He said that last part into the mic and turned it off. “Tseng said kill them all let the gods sort them out.”</p>
<p>“That isn’t what he said. We need the boy.” Rude offered. </p>
<p>Rod leaned up from the back.</p>
<p>“I can drop out and start fucking shit up, if you like.” He offered.</p>
<p>“Not the boy but sure, sounds good.” Reno keyed the mic again. “Seriously.  I can keep you alive for weeks!”</p>
<p>He heard a ping and looked down. The last body guard had fired a grappling gun in the rotor.</p>
<p>“Son of a bitch!” Reno said as the cord got tangled in the rotor and the chopper started going down. “He fucked up my helicopter! That bastard.  Oh, I am going to fuck up his whole god damned week. Rude, jump. I’ll hold it til you’re down and I’ll follow.”</p>
<p>Rude nodded as Reno wrestled with the stick. He got the chopper stable and saw Rude jump, land and roll.</p>
<p>He looked for a clear part of the runway and fought the machine in that direction.</p>
<p>He leapt up, grabbed his baton, threw off the head set and jumped out the back door.  He landed in a hero pose and snicked out the baton which sizzled with electricity.</p>
<p>He took out a cigarette and lit it, stood and walked toward the car as the chopper crashed behind him. He didn't react to the fireball behind him, just took a drag off the cigarette and moved forward with purpose.</p>
<p>“Do not kill that son of a bitch who just trashed my helicopter. He’s mine.” Reno yelled so everyone could hear.</p>
<p>The man looked at Reno, recognized the homicide in his eyes and turned and ran. Reno blurred and gave chase.</p>
<p>*****<br/>
Tseng approached the plane. Mara was inside holding a blanket, and Andy and Hojo were trying to pull Cloud up the stairs. Cloud for his part was a puppet with no strength to move his limbs.</p>
<p>Cloud looked up and saw Tseng.</p>
<p>“Honored father!” He called and brought up his fist into Andy’s face. The fat man fell back and grabbed his nose. He retreated up the steps. Hojo realized it was lost so he gave Cloud a hard shove and sent him rolling down the metal steps and out of his pocket Hojo threw a smoke grenade. As soon as he up the stairs, the plane began to move.</p>
<p>Tseng moved to catch Cloud and managed to get him before he broke his neck cartwheeling down the metal steps.</p>
<p>Rude got to them then and leaned down. Tseng took Cloud’s pulse and heard Cloud cough. The smell of the grenade was familiar. Sulfur Mako isolate. It would be dangerous for humans, deadly for all of them.</p>
<p>He grabbed Cloud’s arm. “Help me.” he said and Rude grabbed the other arm and they pulled Cloud away from the smoke from the grenade.  “Don’t breathe that stuff…” Tseng said. “It acts on your enhancements.”</p>
<p>Rude nodded.</p>
<p>Rod came up them.</p>
<p>“I killed the rest of the Shinra’s. We’re not supposed to do that are are we? I mean, aren’t we on the same side? Should I go after Reno?” He asked, but when they looked up, Reno was approaching. His white shirt was covered with a mist of blood particles.</p>
<p>“Better?” Tseng asked.</p>
<p>“Let’s say he won’t fuck any more helicopters. This the…” Reno looked down and Tseng watched him carefully. Cloud’s eyes fluttered open. Reno smiled. “Hey Kid.” he said.</p>
<p>“You know you get this red shit under your eyes?” Cloud asked, and they all held their breath waiting for Reno to lose him temper, but he didn’t. He laughed and grabbed Cloud by the arm.</p>
<p>“Dude, you are fucked up.” He said and helped him toward the car.</p>
<p>Rude looked at Tseng questioningly. Tseng was silent.</p>
<p>“More prophesy?” He asked. Tseng nodded. “Good or bad?”</p>
<p>“Good, I think.”</p>
<p>Rude nodded.</p>
<p>“No guys, it’s ok, I got the drunk guy all by myself, no need to help. Fuck he’s puking! Tseng!”  Reno yelled sarcastically.</p>
<p>They helped get Cloud in the car and Reno sat with Cloud’s leaned on his shoulder the whole way back to Raph’s Midgar apartment. Rude watched them and he noticed that as long as Cloud had his head on Reno’s shoulder, Reno was calm. Usually he was fidgety, constantly moving, tapping a foot or shifting, but with this new person, Reno seemed at rest. The only movement was Reno idly twirling  strand of Cloud’s hair. </p>
<p>“What the fuck is he on?” Reno asked.</p>
<p>“Daz, I assume.” Tseng said.</p>
<p>“Really.” Reno leaned over to Cloud. “Open your eyes.”  Cloud did but it was awkward and he opened them too wide. Reno laughed again. “That’s cool. Can we keep him?” Reno asked.</p>
<p>“I’m afraid not,” Tseng replied.</p>
<p>“Do I know you, red under the eye guy?” Cloud asked.</p>
<p>“It’s Reno.” He said.</p>
<p>“Reno what?” Cloud slurred.</p>
<p>“Just Reno.  Dude you should probably just relax and focus on your trip. Hey, right now we’re floating in the ocean. It’s warm and comfortable.” Reno said gently.</p>
<p>Rude leaned over to Tseng. “Reno is being nice to someone. You’re prophesy scares me.” He said</p>
<p>Tseng smiled. The car stopped. Tseng picked up the phone and called Raph. Raph answered.</p>
<p>“Yes?” He said.</p>
<p>“We need to talk.” Tseng said.</p>
<p>“Alright, I’ll just be a few more hours…” Tseng turned the phone to show him Cloud. “I’m on the way.”</p>
<p>*****<br/>
“Put the boy in his bed.” Tseng said. Reno, tired of trying to half carry the staggering Cloud threw him over his shoulder.</p>
<p>“Are we still floating?” Cloud asked.  </p>
<p>“Yes and I just peed so the water is getting warmer.” Reno said.</p>
<p>“Rude, make him a mako shake. Rod, watch the downstairs door.” Tseng ordered. They both moved to do as their boss said.</p>
<p>“Ewww, you’re disgusting.” Cloud said.</p>
<p>“Fish do it.” Reno offered.</p>
<p>“Oh, yeah.” Cloud agreed.</p>
<p>*****</p>
<p>Reno dropped him into the bed and took off his shoes. He looked at them and checked to see if they would fit his feet by holding them to his shoe bottoms. They would so he shove them in his pockets. He took off the bomber jacket and knew he probably couldn’t get away with that.</p>
<p>He took off his own shirt and found Cloud’s closet. They were about the same size. He found a white shirt and a jacket with a clasp. He took them.</p>
<p>He went into the bathroom and washed the blood off his face and dressed, took off his bloody shoes and put Cloud’s on. He looked in the mirror. He liked the look a lot.</p>
<p>He used Cloud’s deodorant and some of the mouth wash and then poured a little cup of it and took it to Cloud.</p>
<p>“Open.” Cloud did and Reno poured in the mouth wash and Cloud swallowed it.  “No, dude, that’s like poisonous…” Cloud began to choke and cough, turn red, “No, I didn’t mean poisonous. No, not something you drink. It’s fine. You’re fine.”  Cloud fell back breathing normally.  “So, you’ll do anything I say?” Reno asked.</p>
<p>Cloud nodded. The Daz had removed his inhibitions and given him access to the data placed in his brain.  “Yeah, it’s my programming. From the Daz. Just say it like an order.” Cloud offered.</p>
<p>Reno sat for a minute looking at Cloud. “Kiss me.” He said.  Cloud sat up and kissed Reno. IT as soft and sweet and then grew more urgent. Reno melted into the kiss, forgot for a moment where he was, what he was doing, and leaned into Cloud, wanted him, no needed him. It scared him and he pushed Cloud back. “OK stop. Go to sleep.” Reno said.</p>
<p>He got up and walked over to Cloud’s dresser. He opened the top draw and found a jewelry box. He took out a plain platinum band and slipped it on his right ring finger.</p>
<p>He looked and found out what games Cloud played and made a note of them and left the room.</p>
<p>*****<br/>
“What the fuck is going on?” Raph asked as he entered the apartment.</p>
<p>“He went out clubbing and Mara, Andy and Hojo tried to grab him…” Tseng offered.</p>
<p>“And fucked up my helicopter.” Reno said.</p>
<p>“I’ll requisition you a new one.” Raph threw at him.</p>
<p>“I’ll take him in trade, he’s a good kisser.” Reno threw back. Raph whipped around on him and was instantly face to face with him</p>
<p>“You stay away from him, you sociopath.” Raph charged.</p>
<p>“That’s the pot calling the kettle black, ain’t it.” Reno said giving no ground.</p>
<p>Tseng cleared his throat and they both turned to him. “The point is, we cannot keep him safe here. Not as long as those three are free. Shinra is making efforts to reign Hojo in. He is not a target. Mara and Andy, however, we can kill with discretion. Until that is done, however, he cannot stay in Midgar or near the base. Raph, we need to deploy him so we can lose him in the transit paperwork. No phone calls. He has to be hidden.”</p>
<p>Raph looked like his heart had been cut out.</p>
<p>“I…” He stuttered.</p>
<p>“If there were any other way.  I’ll tell him as soon as he sobers.” Tseng said.</p>
<p>“No, I’ll tell him.” Raph said.</p>
<p>“You just gonna let him go without a fight old man?” Reno asked.</p>
<p>“Have you ever loved anyone Reno?” Raph asked, holding back tears.</p>
<p>“Himself, every night.” Rude offered.</p>
<p>“Fuck you, Rude.” Reno said.</p>
<p>“They will kill him or worse. Andy was on that plane.” Tseng offered.  </p>
<p>At the name, Reno’s head jerked up.</p>
<p>“Why didn’t you tell me, I’d have fucking handled it…” Reno said.</p>
<p>“Do you want Cloud to go to Andy? If he stays here, they’ll try again…” Tseng said plainly.</p>
<p>“Ok, so we move him. When?” Reno asked. He looked at Raph with something akin to sympathy.</p>
<p>“In 4 days. He’s going to Tsu Chi under the wrong paperwork. From there he will be deployed in country. And Seth is very close to finding him.”</p>
<p>Raph nodded. “If you will all excuse me.”  They all stood to leave.</p>
<p>Reno leaned over to Raph. “I’ll keep an eye on him and report, ok?”  Raph nodded.</p>
<p>“If you kiss him again, I’ll kill you.” Raph said.</p>
<p>Reno grinned. “You got it bad. Don’t worry, if he has it that bad too, he’ll be back.” Reno turned and left the apartment.</p>
<p>*****<br/>
It took three days for the Daz to work its way out of Cloud’s system. Raph stayed beside him every moment, feeding him, bathing him, holding him. He couldn’t bear to be away from him knowing he would lose him soon. His life was crashing down and the one thing he had feared most was happening.</p>
<p>They were taking Cloud away.</p>
<p>The morning of the fourth day, Cloud woke up. He looked at Raph and threw himself on him. “I love you so much.  How is Mills?” He asked.</p>
<p>“Who darling?”  Raph asked and put the straw of them Mako Shake in his mouth. Cloud took a sip.</p>
<p>“The boy I was with last night. He’s my friend, I think.” Cloud offered groggily. “He kissed me, though. I told him no.” He said.</p>
<p>“That was three days ago, love. He’s fine. A hero really. He’s getting a Shinra medal for saving you.” Raph offered. Tseng had seen to that. Tseng had taken care of everything.</p>
<p>“We need to talk, are you awake?” Raph asked. Cloud settled down into his arms and nodded.</p>
<p>“Yeah, the shake is really helping.” He finished it and leaned up and kissed Raph’s cheek.</p>
<p>“You’re going to be deployed.” Raph said.</p>
<p>“Awesome, where?  For how long?”</p>
<p>“I don’t know. Tseng and I talked it over and decided the best way to hide you from Hojo and the others is to lose you in country. Some of the Turks will monitor you there.”</p>
<p>“But. I can come home on furlough?” He said. Raph said nothing. “Are you breaking up with me?” Cloud asked.</p>
<p>“There isn’t another way. We can’t talk, Hojo will monitor my communications, you can’t come back. It’s too dangerous.  A clean break will be best for both of us. You can find some nice girl…” Raph offered.</p>
<p>“Do I get a say?” Cloud asked.</p>
<p>“It’s all decided. You leave at 6 tonight…”</p>
<p>Cloud stood up and went to his closet. He pulled out a pair of jeans and then fell down trying to put them on…”</p>
<p>“What are you doing?” Raph asked and moved to him, leaned next to him.</p>
<p>“I’m going to go kill Mara and Andy and Hojo myself. I will not give you up, Raph! I won’t. I love you!”  He said desperately and threw his arms around Raph and held him tight. “I would rather go through whatever they have planned.”</p>
<p>“No love. Look at me. Look at me, this is best. I am twenty years older than you and…”</p>
<p>“I will not have this discussion again. I don’t care how old you are or how much I’m going to want kids someday, which, by the way I won’t... I’m a monster Raph! Who wants a monster baby? No, damnit, I love you and our life and I am perfectly happy here with you. Please don’t do this…” Cloud said adamantly.</p>
<p>“It’s already done, love. Seth has found where you are and Shinra wants you moved.”</p>
<p>“So this is about my brother?  Seth loves me.” Cloud offered, incredulous.</p>
<p>“How do you know that?” Raph asked.</p>
<p>“I saw him in the life stream. And I felt him. He just wants his family.”</p>
<p>“I’m so sorry, love.”</p>
<p>“We can run away.” Cloud offered.</p>
<p>“You would give your dream of being a Soldier to become a fugitive with me?</p>
<p>Cloud leaned forward and kissed him. “I would give up anything for you.” He kissed him again and they made love on the floor. They both wept and held each other close and kissed as if each kiss was the last. They came together and then fell asleep in each other’s arms.</p>
<p>At five Cloud got up and showered. He came back and woke Raph as he put on his uniform. Raph got up and dressed and then put his arms around Cloud.</p>
<p>“I will always love you.” Raph said.</p>
<p>“I will never love anyone like I love you.”</p>
<p>They kissed again one final time and there was a knock on the door</p>
<p>“That will be Tseng.” Raph said.</p>
<p>“Don’t forget me.” Cloud said.</p>
<p>“Never.”  They separated and Cloud moved into a cold, uncertain future.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>END PART ONE</p>
<p>Next. In country, Seth finds his brother and decides it’s time to get some revenge.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0014"><h2>14. Part two - Deployment</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Cloud joins the War with WuTai, meets his brother.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The Four Loves of Cloud Strife<br/>Part 2 – Brothers in Arms</p>
<p>Chapter one<br/>Deployment</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I don't want to spend the rest of my life<br/>Looking at the barrel of an Armalite<br/>I don't want to spend the rest of my days<br/>Keeping out of trouble like the soldiers say<br/>I don't want to spend my time in hell<br/>Looking at the walls of a prison cell<br/>I don't ever want to play the part<br/>Of a statistic on a government chart<br/>Invisible Sun, the Police</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Interview, Cloud Strife, the Inchon Years <br/>Interviewer, Willa Weir, Midgar New Network.</p>
<p>Interview date 45.837.43 Midgar standard calendar</p>
<p>I’d been away from Raph for like 24 hours, I think and wasn’t puking anymore when they put me on the plane. Raph withdrawal was horrible. </p>
<p>I thought about ditching a thousand times and going and throwing him in a Jeep and disappearing into the wilderness somewhere. It wasn’t much of a plan but I was an immature 18 year old abused kid with minimal life experience and a hole in my heart the size of the sun. </p>
<p>I’d managed to get some Heylon somewhere, it comforts me when I’m in hell and that certainly qualified.</p>
<p>If I ever kill myself it will be on the news probably real time. I have a tendency to be self destructive in huge ways. </p>
<p>I woke from my dozing somewhere over Cosmo Canyon when the transport bucked and threw me out of my seat. I looked around and saw 20 pairs of terrified eyes.</p>
<p>“What?” I asked and they all pointed to the window and plane shook again and I heard this god awful noise as some kind of giant bird screeched. I became aware that the jump door had been torn off and there was the sound of wrenching metal from somewhere beyond it.</p>
<p>“Sit down, Corporal.” The Sargent said. Just then the transport shook and he fell backwards out of the jump door that had been ripped off.  I scrambled over and just managed to grab his jacket and haul him back into the plane. </p>
<p>I saw it then, this giant multicolored creature with phoenix wings and a cat’s head. </p>
<p>It flew toward the prop and I’m not sure why, I grabbed a nearby sword and swung myself out the door and onto the top of the plane. OK I’m sure it was my impulsive nature and self destructive drive and the fact that without Raph I was fairly suicidal. </p>
<p>The creature seemed to be as shocked to see me was I was to be there but it disengaged from the propeller and flew toward me.  I swung as it passed and found purchase but got raked by the claws for my trouble.</p>
<p>Anger flared in me and I turned, held out my hand. </p>
<p>“Freeze, asshole.” I said and I heard it crack and screech and fall away from the plane. </p>
<p>I lost my balance and fell and grabbed with my good arm and the sword fell to Gaia. I realized I was quite possibly fucked. </p>
<p>Just then two of the other transferees came up and reached for me. I reached back and they pulled me into the plane.</p>
<p>I rolled onto the floor of the plane and then looked out the door. We were really high up! Part of my brain was screaming “Are you crazy!?”</p>
<p>The Sargent stood and loomed over me. </p>
<p>“Son. That is the god damned stupidest stunt I have ever witnessed. Thanks for saving us.  Alright, the rest of you can cheer for him now.” He said and sat down.</p>
<p>And a cheer went through the plane and I was hit on the shoulder like a hundred times. I was bleeding pretty good and someone handed me a potion which I swallowed in two glugs.</p>
<p>The two guys who pulled me in in Hayes and Morik. They sat on either side of me and suddenly I had a posse. </p>
<p>Everyone was telling their version of my tale of valor and stupidity. </p>
<p>I took out my phone and looked at Raph’s name in my call list. I wanted to push the button to tell him everything but I knew he wouldn’t answer. </p>
<p>Clean break. </p>
<p>I put my phone away. I went back to sleep.</p>
<p>*****</p>
<p>When I landed Reno was there. I got off the transport.</p>
<p>“What is a Turk doing here? And those are my shoes…” I said looking down.</p>
<p>“Lot’s of people wear these shoes.” He said. “Focus princess. I got some marching orders for you.” </p>
<p>“Will you see Raph?” I asked. He rolled his eyes. </p>
<p>“Sure, kid. Sure…”</p>
<p>“Tell him I’m sorry for whatever I did and I won’t do it again. If he let’s me come home I’ll stay in the house and do what he says.” I said. I was desperate and freaking. </p>
<p>“It ain’t you, kid.  It’s just a shitty situation. Hell, blame Andy. I fucking do. Don’t worry, we’ll get his ass and you can go home to your daddy.”</p>
<p>“Are you always a bitter asshole?” I asked.</p>
<p>“Give it a few years and you will be too.” He returned. </p>
<p>“I’ll be with Raph and that will make me happy.” I said to him and he glared. </p>
<p>“If I know Raph Nevelle, and I do, he’s replaced your sad little ass already.” He spat at me.</p>
<p>“Then you don’t know him. And I’m not going wherever you think your taking me.” I said defiantly. </p>
<p>“The hell you say. You’ll go or I’ll carry your ass…” He charged.</p>
<p>“You couldn’t carry me anywhere.” I threw back and crossed my arms.</p>
<p>“I carried you to your bed…” He started and turned away. </p>
<p>“I knew I remembered you!” I said and he glared at me. </p>
<p>“You are infuriating. Look, I have orders to give you your orders and we both got to follow them. Got me?”</p>
<p>“Wonder what Wu Tai would pay for a super soldier.” I said and looked at my cuticles.</p>
<p>“You little shit!” Reno charged. He stalked back and forth. “I should tell Shinra and he’ll put your little ass in a shredder…”</p>
<p>“I stay here with my friends, get deployed with them. If even Shinra doesn’t know where I am, no one can find me. We just really lose me.” I said. He thought about it for a minute and grabbed his smart pad.</p>
<p>“Do not move. Don’t breathe. Certainly don’t think.” He said and walked a few feet away. He talked for a few minutes and then came back. “Tseng says fine. And thank you, dick breath, now I got to stay in this cesspool of a country with you. Keep an eye on you. It sucks here. I can feel it sucking. You suck.  Look, if you glitch you call me. Do not wait.”</p>
<p>“You got a pill or something?” I asked.</p>
<p>“Yeah, something like that.  Ok, go play with your little friends.  I did not join the Turks to babysit.”</p>
<p>I smiled. “Thanks, Reno.”</p>
<p>He looked at me and rolled his eyes. “Yeah, sure.” touched his smart pad to mine and it dinked with his number. “Call me, first glitch. Do not fucking die in this god forsaken wasteland. Tseng will end me and I am up for promotion.”</p>
<p>He wandered off.</p>
<p>I ran off and caught up with Hayes and Morik.</p>
<p>“Hey!” I said. </p>
<p>“Thought you were on super special assignment.” Hank said.</p>
<p>“Turns out it was with you.” I said and we reported to the Sargent on Duty.</p>
<p>*****</p>
<p>Reno called Raph.</p>
<p>“Oh, it’s you.” Raph said.</p>
<p>“Good to see you too, dick weed. If you don’t want your message from the fair prince…”</p>
<p>“Cloud. Is he alright?” Raph asked.</p>
<p>“Yeah. Almost got himself offed on the way over. Jumped out of the gods damned plane…” Reno said. He wasn’t much of a story teller.</p>
<p>“What?”</p>
<p>“No he’s fine. The transport was attacked by a Gangzuhi, but Cloud jumped on top of the plane and killed it. Then he almost fell but they pulled him in…”</p>
<p>Raph looked faint when Reno looked back. “But he’s fine, really. He said he was sorry for whatever he did to piss you off and he won’t do it again if you let him come home.”</p>
<p>“You know why I can’t.” Raph said.</p>
<p>“Well, just a thought, but we could bring him back and you and I sit on him til they make a move and then kill all three of them.” Reno offered.</p>
<p>“I won’t use Cloud as bait.”</p>
<p>“You act like he’s a delicate flower but he killed a gods damned Gangzuhi. Alone. On top of a plane.”</p>
<p>Raph sighed. “Tell him I miss him, will you?”</p>
<p>“What am I, the gods damned post office? Fine. But Raph, if I was you I wouldn’t leave him alone with me too long.” Reno hung up.</p>
<p>*****<br/>My first few months in country weren’t really heroic stories. I have two talents, I’m good with a sword and good with my sword, if you get my drift. It doesn’t take long for those secrets to get out in an Army encampment.</p>
<p>Like, first night, I was there in the enlisted club with Hayes and Morik and this woman walks over.  The guys look at me like I’m a god or something.</p>
<p>“You Cloud Strife?” She asked. I nod.  “You wanna dance.” So I shrugged. I didn’t care anymore. I’d lost Raph and I was so hollow, so empty and any human contact was a bright relief.</p>
<p>I forgot to mention I can dance. </p>
<p>When I was a kid I read this article that said if you could dance it made you better in combat. So I read all about dance and everyone I read said Ballet was the most important kind of dance and so I went into the woods, found a long stick and bought it home to the attic, where I did all my secret stuff and made a Barre and practiced to pre recorded classes on my smart pad.  I danced every day for 6 years and by that time I left I’d moved into modern dance.  So there, deep dark secret, I’m a ballerina.</p>
<p>Anyway. I get up and dance with her and after like five minutes everyone in the room is watching, because of course I can’t be a normal person and do things just regular, so I’m dipping her and pulling her close and we are really kind of having dance sex.</p>
<p>“Let’s go outside.” She said and she dragged me out and into an alley.</p>
<p>She pushed me against a bunch of boxes in a secluded area between the tents and shoved her tongue down my throat. She had her hand down my pants and it kind of annoyed me. You’d think at this point I’d be accustomed to being used for sex but she didn’t even ask first and this anger flared up in me and I leaned into her ear and said “4”.</p>
<p>I pushed her up on the boxes and took her pants down and my very talented tongue found her little pearl and went to work. She squirmed and gasped and came and I kept up and she came again immediately. “That’s two.” I whispered as I leaned up.</p>
<p>Then I reached in my pocket and found a condom there I’d taken from Raph’s as a souvenir and slipped it on. I don’t kiss a girl without a condom. </p>
<p>I flipped her over and entered her and it felt really good. She was wet and ready and made the most amazing noises, coos and moans and this little purr. But more then that, the more my animal brain took over, the less my human brain pined for my lost love. This meaningless contact was somehow comforting. I reached around and played with her until she came again.</p>
<p>“Three.” I said.</p>
<p>I turned her around again and leaned down, took off one of her boots and one side of her pants and I entered her from the front and positioned myself in a way I knew she’d get her clit rubbed each time I thrust into her. I could feel the orgasm growing in her, her breath hitched, her body shuddered and I came about a half second before her, hammered her and she yelled. I shoved my tongue in her mouth to silence her and I stepped back, took off the condom and pulled up my pants. </p>
<p>“4” I said and walked back into the bar. I went into the toilet and flushed the condom and cleaned up.  I went back and sat down with Hayes and Morik.</p>
<p>“What happened?” They asked as she stumbled back in and sat with her friends. </p>
<p>“She wanted sex.” I offered and took a sip of my now warm beer.</p>
<p>They both stared at me, dumbstruck. </p>
<p>One of her friends got up from their table and walked over to us. </p>
<p>“Wanna dance?” She asked.</p>
<p>“Maybe later.”  She was cute. Really cute but I just felt empty. I just wanted Raph.</p>
<p>She leaned down like she was going to whisper something to me and then licked my ear. She walked away. I rubbed some of the saliva out of it.</p>
<p>“What the hell just happened?” Hayes asked.</p>
<p>I looked over at the table of the three of them. They were staring at me like I was a steak. </p>
<p>“I need to go to the PX and get more condoms.” I said. We all got up and left the Club.</p>
<p>It was all stories like this. Some chick decides it’s her turn to ride Cloud and hilarity ensures. </p>
<p>Like I took this one girl back to the barracks in the middle of the day. She pushed me back on my cot and rips open my shirt and buttons go everywhere. There’s two hours hunting the damned things down and sewing them back on. This is a the freaking army, after all.</p>
<p>She pulls down my pants and climbs on top of me saying ‘What’s my number?” </p>
<p>Talk about stuff you live to regret. Every one of them wanted a number. “Three.” I said because she was really annoying and she puts me in her and starts really before I’ve even consented. Then the Cot breaks. I hit my freaking head on the concrete floor and I roll and try to breathe. And she’s still all over me so I shove her away.</p>
<p>“Fuck off!” I yell and she gets pissed off and grabs her clothes and leaves. </p>
<p>I look at my cot and freak out. Sarge will have my ass in a sling so I pull up my pants and go and find Hayes and Morik.</p>
<p>“What happened to your shirt?” Hayes asked.</p>
<p>“Or whom?” Morik asked.</p>
<p>“I need new cot. Mine is destroyed…” I said desperately.</p>
<p>“Ooo and we have inspection in 4 hours. You could die….” Hayes said. There was an annoying sarcasm in his voice.  The Army was all I had left and if Sarge killed me I wouldn’t even have that.</p>
<p>“Look asshole, I help you all the time. All the damn run off you get from me is payment enough.”  They looked at one another and nodded.</p>
<p>“There are a lot of desperate women willing to use us as time killers while the queue for you progresses. Fine, quartermaster…” Morik said.</p>
<p>“The who?” I asked, trying to tie my boot and keep my shirt closed.</p>
<p>“You know, I wish I could live this charmed existence of yours.” Hayes said. “Special meals…”</p>
<p>“Have you smelled those shakes? They taste worse.” I offered.</p>
<p>“Care packages of sunscreen and double ply toilet paper.” Reno would bring those from time to time. Sometimes I knew they were from Jude. Other times I assumed they were from Raph.</p>
<p>“I share!” I charged.</p>
<p>“Hot and cold running pussy…” Morik said dreamily.</p>
<p>“Fine, I’ll figure it out myself.” I said and turned to go. </p>
<p>“No, no, you’re are our friend.” They stood. “Come on.”</p>
<p>A minute later we were in the hot sun and I was tripping over my shoelaces.</p>
<p>We entered the quartermasters tent and Hayes was talking, explaining the law of the quartermaster’s tent. .  “Now, some days, you get Lipton. He has stories from the Genesis war. They are all about the time he got some widget sent to command without a post office and make you die a little inside. If you listen to a few he’ll usually help. Daggert, he’s just a prick. So, money works…”</p>
<p>As we entered this statuesque redhead turns around behind the counter and our eyes lock.</p>
<p>“Well she’s new. But of course the Gods favor you and so it’s a girl.” Hayes finished. I hadn’t noticed the schadenfreude in his voice before.  </p>
<p>“Hi, can I help you?” She asked and opened a box on the counter and began counting screws.</p>
<p>“I’m Cloud Strife and I broke my cot. Can you help me?” I asked.</p>
<p>“You’re…  Well, you’re in luck I have one. Could you just come and help me get it down…” She said and turned away. She walked slowly and it was a joy to watch.</p>
<p>“I really hate him some days.” Hayes was saying.</p>
<p>She took me into the cool interior of the hut and suddenly stopped.</p>
<p>“Seven.” she said.  It took me a minute.  I shook my head.</p>
<p>“3.” I countered. </p>
<p>“Five.” </p>
<p>I thought for a minute. I could do it but it might take some time and I didn’t have that. </p>
<p>“4 and you get to decide the position.” I said in my final offer voice.</p>
<p>“Done.” She pointed to the top of a shelf.</p>
<p>“You want to do it up there?” I asked. “Cause I’m pretty sure I already have a concussion.”</p>
<p>“No, the cot is there. Bring it down so we can christen it.”</p>
<p>I climbed up and grabbed the cot and she grabbed my ass.</p>
<p>I opened it and sat her down on it and took off my button-less shirt.</p>
<p>“Well? What’s my ladies pleasure?” I asked. She took off her Boots and pants and laid back.  She crooked her finger at me. “Do you have another one if I break this one too?” I asked.</p>
<p>“Honey, if you break this one I’ll give you the officers cot I have in the back.” And that is how I got the officer’s cot. </p>
<p>*****</p>
<p>“Your baby brother came in country three months ago, the Corpsman said to Seth. </p>
<p>“Where?” </p>
<p>“Tai chu. But it looked like he’s been transferred three or four times. They are trying to bury him. Hide him…”</p>
<p>“From me?” Seth asked.</p>
<p>“Maybe, but this seems like a lot of espionage for that.  Raph Nevelle and Tseng have been talking a lot lately.” </p>
<p>Seth took out his phone and called Raph. Raph answered too quickly.</p>
<p>“I can’t talk, Lans. I’ll call you back.”  Seth hung up. He knew Raph well enough to know a dodge.  He went and sat and waited for the call.</p>
<p>Five minutes later his phone rang.</p>
<p>“Is your line secure?” Raph asked. Seth pushed some buttons on his phone.</p>
<p>“It is now. Where is my fucking brother, Raph?” Seth announced.</p>
<p>“I don’t know. They won’t tell me. But he is there. If you can fine Reno…”</p>
<p>“The Turk?” Seth asked. Raph nodded. </p>
<p>“Keep him safe, will you?” Raph asked.</p>
<p>“What the hell is going on?” Seth asked.</p>
<p>“Got to go, Taggert.” Raph said and hung up.</p>
<p>“Find all the Turks who are in county.  Zack…” Seth ordered. He was accustomed to his words becoming the actions of those around him.</p>
<p>“Yes, Kimosabe?” Zack said in a deep, fake voice.</p>
<p>“No more TV for you. Let’s go. We’re going to Chu Wi. Looks like last place Cloud was sent.”</p>
<p>“OK, But I’m driving.” Zack said and followed Seth out.</p>
<p>*****</p>
<p>I glitched. It had been a few months in country and stress causes it so I wasn’t very worried when it didn’t come at a regular interval. I was content with field life. I know what to do in a combat situation. So I was pretty placid, you know except for the shattering void of empty darkness where my heart used to be. I was depressed but not anxious. </p>
<p>I missed him so much. So really, really much. Raph was my whole life. I didn’t want to be a Soldier, or eat or even have sex.  I did have sex mind you, I kept up the girls because for a few minutes, at least, I didn’t have to think. But even that was wearing thin. </p>
<p>I was on guard duty when the first one hit. Hayes looked at me. My eyes went all weird and I shut them hard and turned away from him.</p>
<p>“You ok?” He asked.</p>
<p>“Yeah, I got to piss.” I offered and moved into the jungle. I took out my smart pad and hit Reno on the speed dial. He was my source of Raph news so I called him a lot.</p>
<p>“What sweet nothings am I communicating tonight?” He said, with a bored tone.</p>
<p>“Reno…” I said and the second one hit. I fell to the ground and writhed. </p>
<p>“Cloud. Cloud, damn it. Where are you?” I heard and picked up my phone. “There you are. Where the hell are you?” He demanded.</p>
<p>“Guard post three.” I said.</p>
<p>“Give me ten minutes. I’ll bring someone to relieve you.” He hung up. I walked back to the guard post.</p>
<p>“You took your time,” Hayes was saying. </p>
<p>“Yeah, I…” The headache hit then and I grabbed my temple.</p>
<p>“Cloud. Dude… Medic!” He called. I must have seized again because next thing I knew Reno was leaning over me. </p>
<p>“I got him.” he said and lifted me over his shoulder.  “You stay here with what’s his name…” He told the new Shinra who was replacing me.</p>
<p>“Hayes.” I heard Hayes say.</p>
<p>“Yeah, I care…” Reno retorted and dragged me off towards town.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0015"><h2>15. Balm in Gilead</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Cloud finds his brother, a best friend and something that eases the pain and makes him feel again.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The Four Loves of Cloud Strife<br/>Part 2 – Brothers in Arms</p><p>Chapter Two<br/>Balm in Gilead</p><p>And everything's in vain, distressing you, don't leave me open<br/>Feels so right but I'll end this all before it gets me<br/>Call your name everyday, when I feel so helpless<br/>I've fallen down (fallen down) but I'll rise above this (rise above this)<br/>I’ll end myself before it gets me. I’ll end myself before it gets me. <br/>Seether, Falling down.</p><p>*****<br/>“I can walk, you know.” I said as we trudged through the muddy street.</p><p>“I know. But this way I don’t have to worry about you haring off or fucking up.” He answered. There was always an answer with him.</p><p>We got to his house and he unlocked the door and carried me in. He dropped me on the floor. I fell clumsy and hard making a loud thunk. He closed the door and locked it. </p><p>“Thanks for not fighting me.” Reno said and took of his jacket.  He tossed it on the couch and stood over me.</p><p>I sat up and tried to stand. </p><p>“Yeah, no, stay there.” He kneeled in front of me on the floor and looked in my eyes with a little flashlight. “How long?” he asked.</p><p>“I called after the first one, like you said.” I told him.</p><p>“Aw, you can follow orders…” He mused.</p><p>“Well, I am a sub.” I replied, though I tried to stop it as it came out. Reno’s eyes got wide. </p><p>“You’re a what?” he asked.  He leaned forward and kissed me. I pushed him back, but not with as much force as I could.</p><p>Reno was a smoker and I hated that but his lips were sweet and minty like he’d used some kind of mouth wash and as much as I wanted to pull way, I also didn’t.</p><p>“I thought you had a pill or something…” I said.</p><p>“Nope. I’m just going to spank you and fuck you.” He said, his voice deeper, huskier and he pushed his tongue into my mouth and I melted. </p><p>We kissed for a long time and he tasted good, his body seemed to move in time with mine, like we were dancing. He touched my neck with his tongue at just the right time, slide his fingers up the inside of my thigh making me shiver. </p><p>“So, you were saying? You’re a what?” He asked with his lips pressed to my ear.</p><p>“I’m a sub, my master and I am yours to do with as you please…”</p><p>He sighed the most delighted sigh I’ve ever heard and pushed me back on the floor and really kissed me hard. “Cloud Strife, I’m going to steal you and put you under my bed in a box.”</p><p>“Mara used to say that…”  Reno leaned back then.</p><p>“Mara Fentua?” He said.  I nodded and he unbuckled my pants and pulled them down. He touched the mark. “You’re an angel?” he said in disbelief.</p><p>“I don’t know what that means.” I told him.</p><p>“You’re one of Mara’s angels. Some of the best trained slaves on the market. What is your name?” he asked.</p><p>It dawned on me. “Jaziel.” I said. </p><p>“She hurt you, didn’t she?” He seethed. “She burned you.” He said, still fingered the mark.  I nodded. “Fucking bitch.” He said. “I won’t ever hurt you that way, Cloud. Just in ways you like.”  He stood and pulled me to my feet. “Get undressed and come into my room.”  I did as I was commanded.</p><p>His room was small and had very little in it. He opened a bag and took out a length of hemp rope. “Kneel.” he said. I could tell he was turned on, his eyes were huge and I could see the erection through the thin pants he wore. </p><p>He expertly wrapped the ropes around me, tight, they bit into my skin and it hurt to move. The pain was glorious and I was in control of it. If I moved this little trill of rope burn filled me with elation.</p><p>“Who is your master?” He asked leaning near me.</p><p>“Raph.” He slapped me hard. “Raph.” I repeated and he hit me harder.  “You.” I whispered finally. </p><p>“Not yet, but I will be. I’ll own you some day, Strife. I’ll have a ring around that amazing cock of yours and you will come when I tug it. And speaking of which…”</p><p>He pushed me back and I felt the cock ring slip on. He pulled it tight. I almost came.</p><p>He pushed me on the floor on my stomach and I felt him step over me and a moment later he was back and there was a bright spark in my head as the paddle struck my ass. My brain lit up with fireworks and the others appeared lurking in the corners of my brain. They were always there, I knew, always looking for a chance to take over. But this, this would send them away again at least for a while.</p><p>“Good for you? I know it is for me.” he said and paddled me for a good twenty minutes. The static in my brain fuzzed in and out as he had his way with me and I got caught up in it. I lost track of everything outside my brain until I felt him slip into me. </p><p>The pain in my head heightened and the noise was so loud and the ringing… He hammered away at me, fucking me hard and fast there on the floor of his house and when I came, it was with a shout and a pop and the noise faded and I was left with sharp perception of him finishing inside me.</p><p>He pulled out and leaned to his boot that had been thrown away in passion and pulled out a razor. I tried to roll away but he pulled me back and cut the ropes. I collapsed onto the floor.</p><p>“Did you think I’d cut you? Please. I wouldn’t mark anything this pretty. Go clean up and come back.” he said. I went into his bathroom, it was nice to have a private space after the weeks I the barracks. I took a quick shower and washed my hair. I came out toweling off and grabbed my pants.</p><p>“Where the fuck are you going?” He said and grabbed me and shove me into his bed. He then climbed in next to me and pulled me close. </p><p>“Are we having sex again?” I asked.</p><p>“In the morning, probably. I need you to stay here tonight. I have an experiment…”</p><p>“I’ve done enough experiments…” I uttered and tried to get out of bed. He held me fast and wouldn’t let me go.</p><p>“Stay” he murmured in my ear and for some reason I did, I knew he needed me to.</p><p>I turned to face him and kissed him. He kissed me back and smiled.</p><p>“You ok?’ I asked and he nodded.</p><p>“I cannot wait to get back to Gravball and Panic! burgers.” he muttered.</p><p>“Yeah. Me either. Can we get the scores here?” He asked. </p><p>“Season is over but yeah.” He offered. “Once Dicket was out, Circle was done…”</p><p>“What happened to Dicket?” I asked, concerned. I wasn’t a Circle fan but still.</p><p>“Pulled a hamstring on a left wheel pass. He moved out of anti grav too soon.”</p><p>“Too bad. What about…”  I looked over and he was snoring lightly. I cuddled close to him and went to sleep. My dreams that night were more pleasant and I slept really well. He did, too. </p><p>*****<br/>I woke up with a tongue in my mouth and him pushing my legs apart. He was in my before I could protest and he grunted and groan as he had his way with me. </p><p>I pulled him close to me and held him tight. </p><p>“Oh, Reno it’s huge…” I whispered.</p><p>“Oh, gods, Cloud, you’re so tight, fuck, I can’t get enough of you.  Oh so good, sooo goooddd…” He said and I could tell he was lost in my body, that he wanted me to an uncontrollable level and my ego went insane, my sex drive cut in and I fell into rhythm with him, bringing him ever closer to climax. I knew I was in control.</p><p>“Is it good? Do you want me?” I asked and he sighed. </p><p>“Yes, Gods, yes sooo good. Don’t stop.” He murmured.</p><p>“Come for me, Reno.” I whispered.</p><p>“No, not yet, I’m not ready. No, please.” He sighed.</p><p>“Come for me, baby, fill me up, I want you, I want you to fill me up, It’s soo good, Reno, yes, yes…” I said in into his ear and he hit then, shot in me and made a choked, moaning noise. </p><p>“Fuck you.” He said as he rolled off and I laughed.</p><p>“Control is a funny thing.” I whispered in his ear and jumped out of bed. He grabbed at me and I evaded him and went in the bathroom to clean up. I grabbed my clothes.</p><p>“Bed, now.” He said and I laid my uniform on the end of the bed. I climbed in next to him. He wrapped his arms around me.</p><p>“I have a patrol this morning.” I said.</p><p>“That is bullshit. There is nothing for fifty clicks but chickens and Mamasans. Most dangerous thing out there is rusty nails.” </p><p>“Yeah. I know. But I have to keep up appearances. Besides, it gives me a chance to exercise.” He nodded and rolled out of bed. </p><p>“Wanna hang tonight.” He asked. </p><p>“I have to talk to Hayes and Morik. They are going to be worried. Besides I belong to Raph.”</p><p>“Clean break means he is trying to get over you. Besides, not sex. Gravball. Bring your squad. And beer.”</p><p>“I can’t.” I said. I felt like shit, like I’d just cheated on Raph. It was different with the girls, that was just sex but with Reno, I felt something. We were alike, there was connection and it terrified me. It made me feel like I might be getting over Raph and I had no intention of that. Even if he got over me.</p><p>I dressed and left in silence.</p><p>*****</p><p>“According to command there are only 2 Turks currently in country.” Zack was saying as he looked at his smart pad. Seth turned off on the road toward the coast.</p><p>“OK, that makes it easier. Can you find out which one is where?”</p><p>“Well, luckily for you I’m a genius. I hack into the satellite feed and… Nope, that’s Cissnei. And cute as ever.”</p><p>“What about your flower girl.” Seth chided.</p><p>“I can still look.” Zack offered. “Besides the Turks would kill me.”</p><p>“Yes they would. So that means Reno is???”</p><p> “Do Shang, Near the coast.”</p><p>“Why do they have one of the most formidable fighting creatures hidden away in the most docile area of the frigging continent? During a war? What the hell is going on?” Seth asked as he pushed the accelerator down.</p><p>*****</p><p>There isn’t much alone time on an Army base. I had an evening off and decided to find some alone time.  I wandered away from camp, ditching Morik and Hayes and my Sargent and even Reno. </p><p>It was dark here and quiet and my sword and I were alone, almost completely it seemed, like the only two things on Earth that were in any way unnatural.</p><p>It had hit me earlier, and I was seriously depressed. What if Reno was right? What if Raph had already replaced me. Didn’t clean break mean just that?  A break? </p><p>And I’d cheated, so even if that wasn’t the end, well, it was the end. And Reno had been cheating, not last night but definitely this morning. There was something about him, something that drew me and I had very much enjoyed being with him. And wanted to be with him again.</p><p>I felt like everything was coming apart. I was bored and lonely and heartbroken and cut off from everyone who might have helped.</p><p>I found a clearing and I sat down with my back against a tree. I took out the phone and looked at his pictures. Hayes had once seen me sitting with my phone, staring at the pictures. He’d said “Man, I’d love the meet the girl who did that to you.” </p><p>And that was it, that was the end right there, my lowest moment and I knew I had lost him forever. And if I couldn’t have Raph, or worse if I fell out of love with him, I just needed to die. That would put an end to this whole, bloody mess.  I was so tired and so alone.</p><p>I hit the speed dial for Raph and it bounced. “The number you have called has been blocked…”</p><p>So it was true. He didn’t want me, we were really over. I listened to the whole message and then held the phone in my ear as it faded to static silence.  That was it, the last straw, the final blow. </p><p>I had a gun in my pocket and I took it out. I hit the text button and stated typing.</p><p>“I am just nothing without you. I can’t anymore. I just can’t. Nothing here fills me up. There is not enough of anything to fill me up like you do. Find me in the next life and don’t let go. I won’t let go of you again, I promise. I will deserve you in the next life.”  I hit send. I wanted him to have some kind of closure when Reno called to tell him they found my body in a clearing in Do Shang. I wanted him to have closure.</p><p>I put some music on my phone and took out the gun. </p><p>*****<br/>Raph’s phone beeped and he looked at it. “Rejected call”. It said. There was only one person on his blocked list.</p><p>He walked out to the lanai and sat down in a pool chaise and looked at the smart pad. It took every single fiber of his being to not unblock the number and call back. Tell Cloud a thousand times he loved him. Get on a transport to Wu Tai and sweep him up.</p><p>The phone beeped again. “Text rejected.” It said. He tapped the security code on his phone and opened the text. He read it quickly and his heart dropped.</p><p>He dialed Seth.</p><p>*****</p><p>“Yeah Raph?” Seth said as he swerved around a fallen tree.</p><p>“You must get to him now. I’ll send you his number and the Turks be damned. Shinra doesn’t want you near him because you’re not stable. Because he’s their fall back.”</p><p>“What? What do you mean?”</p><p>“In case you go over. Cloud is their weapon against you. You have to get to him NOW!” Raph stressed.</p><p>“What is going on?” Seth demanded.</p><p>“He’s committing suicide. He sent me a note. Find him Seth. Call him.”</p><p>The number beeped through and Raph hung up.</p><p>“Take the wheel.” Seth said and he and Zack changed places in the vehicle at 60 miles and hour on a dirt road. Seth hit the dial button and the phone rang. “Pick up, damnit.” Seth swore.</p><p>“Hello?” He heard a teary voice say.</p><p>*****<br/>“Cloud?” I heard. I didn’t know the voice but this communication felt important.</p><p>“Yes.” I said. </p><p>“It’s me, your brother, Sephiroth.” He said. His voice was calm and metered.</p><p>“Sephiroth?” I said, confused.</p><p>“Yes, little brother, I’m looking for you. Where are you?” He asked.</p><p>“Um, I don’t know. But it doesn’t matter. It’s too late…”</p><p>“It isn’t. I need you Cloud, please don’t hurt yourself. I need you. I need my family.”</p><p>I turned on the GPS.  “You can locate me. I’ll be dead when you get here… You need to take my body back and make sure they don’t use it for experiments.”</p><p>“Cloud Strife, in this world I only have two things. My friend Zack and you. Everything else has been taken away and I’ll be damned if I will lose you. Look here, little brother. Ototo. Just give me a chance…”</p><p>I could hear the vehicle swerving in the background and I knew they were GPS tracking me.  I knew I only had moments. I put the gun in my mouth and I was so relieved, it was finally over.</p><p>I felt someone slap the gun out of my hand.</p><p>*****</p><p>Reno had gotten a perimeter alert on the tracker he’d put on Clouds’s phone. The boy was wandering off. He swore and turned off the shower and walked to the living room. </p><p>He was suddenly paranoid. He told himself it was because Tseng would be pissed but he knew that wasn’t true. He’d be really, really upset if anything happened to Cloud. And something was usually happening to Cloud. </p><p>He looked at his phone and realized Cloud had left camp and was in the jungle. Alone. Yes, of course it was safe but there were poisonous snakes and a few things that might sneak up on the boy and oh fuck it, he had every right to be paranoid.</p><p>As he pulled on his pants and stepped into his shoes he had this vision of Cloud lying in the jungle, alone, some poison coursing through his system and he gasped and died and…</p><p>He forgot to grab a shirt as he ran out of the house to find Cloud.</p><p>“Did you see Cloud?” Reno asked Morik.  The guy, some friend of  Cloud’s with an “M” name Reno reminded himself,  pointed to the jungle and Reno sighed. “I will kick his ass if my shoes get dirty.” He muttered.</p><p>Reno entered the brush and he was no tracker but Cloud was like an elephant charging through the brush and his trail was pretty clear. He’d walked for a good ten minutes and felt like he was close when his phone rang.</p><p>“Reno, is Cloud with you?”  It was Raph.</p><p>“No, he wandered off and whenever he does that there is some fuckery so I’m looking for him.”</p><p>“So is Seth. He’s trying to kill himself.” Raph said.</p><p>“Fuck that.” Reno said and lurched off through the forest in a blur. He got to the edge of the clearing and saw him, blurred again and slapped the gun out of his hand as it went off. Reno saw the bullet fire and lodge in a nearby tree and then looked up and saw Seth standing there.  “Gods damn it Strife!” Reno swore as he slowed and stood to face the Great Sephiroth. </p><p>“What took you so long?” Reno asked.</p><p>*****</p><p>“Gods damn it Strife.” I heard and I looked up and Reno was standing there. Staringdown Sephiroth. “What took you so long?” He asked and Seth glared at the Turk.</p><p> </p><p>“Reno Sinclair.” Seth said. “Get the hell away from my brother.”</p><p>Reno was shirtless and his hair was wet.  He blurred over to me and leaned down and put his arms around me and put his lips to my ear. </p><p>“If you fucking die on me I will find a way to bring your happy ass back. Seriously. You are not allowed to die on me. I can’t stress this enough.” And he slapped me hard and then kissed me.  He leaned back and saw Sephiroth looking at me from the edge of the clearing.</p><p>Reno pulled me up and turned. “You’re not getting this, Seth, I’m giving you permission to watch over him, not the other way around. Seth’s eyes narrowed and he looked from me to Reno nd than back again. Then he nodded and smiled. Reno looked uncomfortable.</p><p>“As if. I’m not even capable of that.” Reno said. Seth pushed passed him wordlessly and reached his hand down to help me up.</p><p>“I…” I said but nothing else would come out.</p><p>“Will you please take this asshole off my hands? Keep him safe and mostly from himself?” Reno said and turned and left the clearing. Next thing I knew Seth had me in a bear hug and then dropped me on my feet and dragged my back to the jeep.</p><p>*****</p><p>We sat in the officer’s club. I had a bruise on my cheek where Reno had slapped me and Zack had joined us.</p><p>It was nice, a lot like a club in Midgar.</p><p>“You know we’re full brothers, right?” Seth asked.</p><p>“Yes, Sephiroth.” I said.</p><p>“Call him Seth…” Zack said and smiled.</p><p>“Do not corrupt my brother. I will kill you.” Seth threatened and Zack laughed.</p><p>“You’d try. He wants you to call him Sephiroth, but that’s way to damned long. And Seph sounds like a speech disorder.” Zck offered nd handed me another beer.</p><p>“Well, my actual name is Sephiroth…”</p><p>“So many letter!” Zack said. “So, kid, I got you transferred to us and we can move out in the morning. You have a soldier exam coming up and we need to get you trained and ready.”</p><p>“Yes, and we have a couple of assignments you can help with, too.” Seth offered. There as no mention of my suicide attempt. None. Ever.</p><p>“Can I talk to Raph? I asked. Seth looked away. “Is he ok? Is he ok???”</p><p>“He’s fine, but, it’s complicated. You aren’t allowed to see Raph anymore. I’m sorry.” Seth said.</p><p>“Then I don’t want to live. I won’t participate in this stupid game anymore.”</p><p>“It’s best, Cloud. Attachments for people like us are… bad. They use then against us.”  I could tell from the look in his eyes that Seth was talking from experience. “Just… give it some time.”</p><p>“We’re going to look out for you.” Zack said. </p><p>“What about Reno?” I asked.</p><p>“He’s headed back stateside. Said something about gravball and Panic! Burgers.”  I nodded. I gave up. Whatever. Doomed to live but never be happy.</p><p>“Let’s get some sleep. In the morning we head into combat.” Seth said. We all went to bed.</p><p>Seth took the bunk next to mine and I could feel his eyes on me until I fell asleep.</p><p>*****</p><p>I had to work to keep my mind off things. Life with Seth and Zack was a roller coaster. We went from heavy combat to Officer’s clubs to Five star hotels in Wu Ti Zhing, the capitol. Photo opportunities for him which I was usually left out of for my protection. </p><p>And Seth never left me alone. I don’t think he was ever more then 200 yards from me those first two months. </p><p>I found there that the glitch could be maintained by combat and um.. self stimulation? Though I had my pick of girls, it drove Zack insane. And I usually didn’t say no. It was like a band aid for my shattered heart. </p><p>I remember in Zo Jai, there was this girl, a nurse with the 6th infantry. I never had to chase girls but there was something about this one and I decided I would conquer her. Childish.</p><p>She was in the Enlisted man’s club and I made Zack and Seth go there with me though Seth preferred the Officer’s clubs. We all sat down and had a beer and as soon as Zack saw her he knew.</p><p>“Would you stop with that girl? Don’t you get enough? You have them flinging themselves at you.” He bitched.</p><p>“Jealous much?” I asked and heard Seth chuckle.</p><p>“Ha ha. You could be just as bad.” Zack said to Seth.</p><p>“Beg pardon?” Seth said.</p><p>“Oh, are you the REAL Sephiroth?” Zack feigned a woman’s voice and batted his eyelashes. </p><p>“Very funny.” Seth said.  “Ototo…”</p><p>“Hai Nisan?” I said. For some reason with Seth we often fell into other languages. Often the dialect from Saow Seng.</p><p>“Let the girl be. She isn’t interested…” Seth told me. It was wise and commanding, parental.</p><p>“Oh, she’s interested.” Zack said. Both of us turned to him.</p><p>“Do tell?” Seth said.</p><p>“She is letting you chase her so she can turn around and catch you.” Zack offered. Despite all my sexual training and Seth’s star power, Zack was actually the one of us who knew the most about woman. </p><p>“Hun.” Seth said and became thoughtful.  “Oh, yeah.’</p><p>“See how she keeps looking over here to make sure our boy is watching her like she’s the last glass of water in the world?”  I looked over in time to see her eyes dart away from me. “I thought I remembered her, Seth, from Jun Wui. She was all over you. She wants herself a Super Soldier and since you wouldn’t play, she’ll using a different tactic on young mister “thinks with penis” here.”</p><p>“Yes, I can see that. I’m telling you if you don’t want to wind up married you need to stay away from that one.” Seth said. He was distracted and looking at the well worn picture he kept in his pocket again.</p><p>I was still intrigued but saw an opening to something I wanted more. Insight into my brother.</p><p>“Who is that girl in the picture you carry?” I asked and Seth’s head jerked up.</p><p>“No one.” He said too quickly. He shoved the picture in his pocket.</p><p>“Abbigail.” Zack corrected. </p><p>“Zack.”</p><p>“Just tell him.” Zack said. Seth and Zack were equals. No one else seemed to be in that club, not even me yet, but I was closer then anyone else. </p><p>“When I was younger, I was kept at the institute…”</p><p>“Yeah, Tseng said they trained me there when I was a kid.” I said.’</p><p>“I’m sure you were. There was this research assistant there, Abbi. I fell in love with her. She loved someone else…”</p><p>“Not exactly the story, Seth.  She loved him, too. But they took her away from him. Like they took Raph away from you.” Zack said. Seth gave him a dirty look.</p><p>“And they won’t give him back, Ototo. It’s one of the ways they control us. She is promised happiness as long as I comply. Raph is more capable of taking care of himself but still, they will use that against you if you fight them. His life for your compliance. I suppose since you’re gay it was harder for them to find someone they could control so…”</p><p>“I’m not gay.” I said. He looked at me.  </p><p>“Well, bi…” My face must have given away my annoyance at that label and it as more complicated then that. I didn’t want to have to go into big back story with Seth and fortunately at that moment, a Sargent came through the door.</p><p>“They just broke the line at Juki. He said. We all stood and walked to the door.</p><p>*****</p><p>The fighting was horrible here. The forest was on fire and you couldn’t hear for helicopter rotors. Our objective was to find and destroy troops that had broken the line and were skirmishing in the nearby village. </p><p>We entered the village and were immediately pinned down by a sniper. </p><p>“I’ll draw fire, you end him.” Seth said to Zack. “Cloud. Flank right.”  We both nodded and followed his instructions. </p><p>I moved into the devastated landscape, buildings and roads torn asunder by mortar rounds, fires here and there and the sound of a few moaning survivors who would be dead by dawn. </p><p>I slipped around cleared for a view of the building the sniper was in. My senses were high and I saw a glint off his site, knew he was looking directly at me and managed to jump and roll right before the brick behind me flaked off when the bullet made contact.</p><p>I also heard him groan as Zack ended his life. </p><p>I heard movement on the next street over and I moved silently in that direction.  As I peered round a half demolished wall I saw someone I recognized. It was Reno on a stretcher being carried off by some Wu Tai regulars. He was unconscious and bloody.</p><p>I moved around and unsheathed my sword and got into position. </p><p>I made very quick work of the regulars, I’d been trained by the two best fighters in country and quickly lopped off their heads. They dropped Reno, who groaned.  I leaned next to him and took out a potion.</p><p>“Drink,” I said.</p><p>“Cloud?” He said and took the potion, drank it.</p><p>“What happened to Gravball and Panic! Burgers…” I asked</p><p>“I got a little side tracked.” He leaned up and kissed me.</p><p>“Stop it. I need to get you out of here.” I said.</p><p>“I can take care of myself.” He sat up and his head swam. He looked down at his shirt. “You know how to get blood out of silk?”</p><p>“Maybe just dye it red.” I offered and he laughed and coughed.</p><p>“I got an exit. I got to find Rude.” He said and I helped him stand. </p><p>“Well, where too?” I said.  He pulled out his GPS and there was a flashing dot on it.</p><p>“I’ll get you out.” I said. </p><p>“Don’t go thinking it’ll make you a hero or nothing.” he groused. On impulse I kissed him. He smiled.</p><p>Seth and Zack saw us and came over. </p><p>“Well, look what the cat dragged in.” Zack said.</p><p>“Yeah, a rat.” Seth offered.</p><p>“I’m getting him to his exit.” I said.  Seth and Reno exchanged a glance.</p><p>“We’ll help. The faster he’s out country, the better for everyone.” Seth said.</p><p>“Not in front of your brother. I’m trying to get him back in the sack.” Reno grinned wickedly.</p><p>“What do you mean by back. I’ll kill you myself, Reno.” Seth offered.</p><p>“Ask Cloud.” He threw at Seth. </p><p>“Fuck you.” I said and he grinned harder.</p><p>“Yes, you did.” He said and leaned his head on my shoulder. I thought Seth was going to cut him up. I handed him another potion which he drank and his color improved immensely. </p><p>We moved toward his objective and swept as we went. There were 4 patrols which, with Reno’s help, we easily cleared.</p><p>We got to the square and I could see a bald man in a dark suit with sunglasses on sitting near a helicopter.</p><p>“Well guys, that’s my ride.” Reno said,  stronger from the potions I’d fed him, he stood and started to walk that way.</p><p>Suddenly, a Gatlin erupted and covered the square in dust as the rounds hit the ground.</p><p>“What the hell?”  Zack yelled. </p><p>A bot came lumbering out and faced up. It’s body was short and fat and it had machine guns for arms.</p><p>“Well, Fuck me.” Reno said.</p><p>“Maybe later.” I whispered so only he could hear it and he laughed. </p><p>“Zack, Left, Cloud, right...Reno, walk up the middle and draw it’s fire…” Seth barked.</p><p>“Hardy har har.” Reno spat flicked out his baton and it sparked electricity. He blurred, I’d only seen him do that once before though I’d done it myself once in basic and I freaked a little.</p><p>What the...?” I asked.</p><p>“Reno is enhanced. Like Raph.  Like me.” Zack said. “Exposed to Mako and Jenova.” </p><p>I nodded and went where my brother directed.</p><p>Machines are not intelligent. This one didn’t quite know how to deal with being approached from five sides. Reno was beneath it, I was on it’s left, Zack on the right, Rude in the rear and then Seth came out of the sky. With a concentrated effort we destroyed the machine in about three minutes. </p><p>Rude came over to Reno.</p><p>“You ok, boss?” he asked.</p><p>“Aw, field promotion?” Seth threw at Reno.</p><p>“Yeah, I got it for fucking your brother,” Reno said and Seth started moving toward him, blade out.</p><p>I threw myself between Seth and Reno using myself to shield Reno from Seth’s wrath. </p><p>“Get out of the way, Ototo.” Seth demanded and I stood firm.</p><p>“No. Reno helped me. He’s not the enemy.” I said.</p><p>Seth stood for a moment and looked like he was swallowing hemlock. “Hurt my brother and I’ll break you into dust.” He threatened Reno.</p><p>Reno reached over and grabbed me, kissed me hard. I tried to push him away but he held me fast. After the kiss was finished, he pushed me away and he and Rude ran to the helicopter. </p><p>“Is there anyone in Inchon Peninsula you haven’t slept with?” Zack asked.</p><p>“You but I have a few minutes now.” I said and blew him a kiss. </p><p>“Eww, stay away from me.” He said and retreated.</p><p>“I’m going to need an explanation.” Seth said.</p><p>“No, you won’t.” I replied and he looked at me, shocked but then nodded in approval.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0016"><h2>16. Nash Revisited</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Seth begins to campaign to get revenge for his brother and himself.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The Four Loves of Cloud Strife<br/>Part 2 – Brothers in Arms</p>
<p>Chapter Three<br/>Nash revisited</p>
<p>Holy water cannot help you down <br/>Hours and armies couldn't keep me out<br/>I don't want your money<br/>I don't want your crowd<br/>See I have to burn<br/>Your kingdom down<br/>Florence and the Machine, Seven devils.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It was a month of fighting at Juki. It was brutal and ugly and I got lots of opportunities to be a hero. I took every one of them. The more dangerous the mission the faster I volunteered.  </p>
<p>The stress was ungodly and every day I waited for the tell tale static to start. It didn’t, just the invasive thoughts of Raph and Reno and how fucked that whole situation was. </p>
<p>I had no doubt the Reno had already bragged about his conquest of me to Raph and I wondered if it had actually bothered Raph that he had. If I had just been a con, if he really didn’t care about me, used me and then replaced me.  I didn’t know what was real any more.</p>
<p>We won at Juki but it didn’t feel like a win, looking at the thousands of dead bodies, uniforms from both sides. Morik died at Juki and I didn’t even know til a long time later he was even there. Listen to the super soldier when he tells you war is the thing you want to avoid the most. Peace is really the better option.</p>
<p>As soon as we got back to civilization I glitched. It really sucked because in the field I had my system of combat and self abuse but in town there was nothing to fight.  </p>
<p>I waited til Seth and Zack had bunked down and I heard snoring from both rooms.</p>
<p>I snuck down the stairs and made my way to the water district. Once there I went into one of the brothels and hired two people, a woman and a man to help me with my glitch.</p>
<p>The woman was a talented dom and she knew what to do.</p>
<p>“So GI, are you a bad boy?” She asked.  Her english was good but I replied in her dialect and she smiled, nodded and pushed me to my knees.</p>
<p>She selected a whip, a real whip and demanded I undress. I did and as I got my pants unbuckled I felt the sting of it flick on my back. The static rose with each strike of the leather and she pushed me down on the floor and her companion came in and I felt him enter me.  I lay there and heard her rummaging, she came back and I felt hot candle wax on my back. </p>
<p>I reached around and began playing with myself. Bright and brighter the light in my head and for the first time in a while I saw the other Clouds. </p>
<p>“Raph doesn’t want us. Everything he said was a lie.” Scared Cloud cried.</p>
<p>“Reno does.” Whatever Cloud said and smiled a vicious smile.</p>
<p>I came then and everything exploded in my brain and I felt it all subside and dozed. And then I felt a foot in my back.  I looked up and it was Seth. And he was furious.</p>
<p>He threw a blanket at me and I looked over. My companions looked terrified, not that I blamed them. I was a little scared myself.</p>
<p>He lifted me by my arm and threw the blanket around me, grabbed my uniform and dragged me out of the Brothel.</p>
<p>I thought he’d head back to the hotel, but he didn’t. He went the other way, out into the jungle dragging me with a frightening ease.</p>
<p>“You’re hurting me.” I said.</p>
<p>“Isn’t that what you just paid for?” He said fury dripping from his tone.  A moment later he threw me on the ground and I lost my grip on the blanket and it fell away. I was there in the chilly night, naked and exposed to the moonlight.</p>
<p>“Explain.” He said, and then his eyes lighted on the Mara Mark.  “Oh dear gods.” He shut down and looked away from me and I felt dirtier than I ever had.  He sat on a stump and threw me my clothing. </p>
<p>I got dressed and sat next to him.</p>
<p>“I know, I’m disgusting. I was glitching.” I confessed.</p>
<p>“You are not disgusting. You are my brother and one of the very few things I’ve ever allowed myself the luxury of loving. OK, tell me about Mara.”</p>
<p>“Mara was supposed to prep me for the second half of the experiment, which she did. She kind of tortured me, sexually and physically and then the others got me from her and took me to this dungeon or whatever. I was tortured, sex and violence and they put things in my brain to stabilize me. The glitch it’s a reboot to keep the cortisol from building in my brain to the point where I...”</p>
<p>“Pop a wing and march on Midgar? They did this so they can control you, unlike me?” Seth said. I nodded. “How does this “reboot” work? The glitch?”</p>
<p>“Jude says that when my brain gets full of cortisol I start having seizures. The cascade of chemicals caused by violence and sex purges the stress and I’m fine. Clear.”</p>
<p>“Reset.” He said. </p>
<p>“You know the story, I guess. In basic, I met Mara. It was nice at first. For like the first day. But then she started.. torturing me. It ended up in this club. She sold me.”</p>
<p>He nodded and stood. He unbuckled his belt and pulled down his pants enough to show me his own mark.</p>
<p>“You’re an angel?” I asked.</p>
<p>“No, there were rules with me. They didn’t want to break me. She was given very little leeway…”</p>
<p>“Not with me. They told me over and over that they had rules with you but not with me. They only two rules they had to abide by was not to mark my face and not to destroy my… plumbing.”</p>
<p>“They who?” He said. I could hear in his voice that he didn't want me to say the name I was going to say.</p>
<p>“Andy.”  I told him. “He was worse then her. He did horrible things. And the Daz…”</p>
<p>“They let him Daz you?” Seth said and his voice was mournful, his eyes troubled. I thought he might cry.</p>
<p>“I’m not sure how much was real.  When they kidnapped me the second time…”</p>
<p>“Start from the beginning, Cloud.” He said. And so I did, I told him the whole story and he sat there, silent, only the wringing of his hands giving evidence he was still conscious.</p>
<p>“I will kill every one of them. Mara, Andy, Hojo. Who was this guy dressed like me?”</p>
<p>“Nash. I think.”</p>
<p>“He’s first.” Seth stood and put his hand on Masamune. “Let’s go.”</p>
<p>“But…”</p>
<p>Seth leaned down and looked in my face. “and if Reno had anything to do with this or Raph…”</p>
<p>“Reno and Raph saved me from them.” I said.  Seth nodded. </p>
<p>He pulled out his phone and dialed a number. It was quiet at first and I didn’t know who he was talking to.</p>
<p>“Did you have anything to do with with what happened to Cloud?” He asked. I heard a no.  “Don’t lie to me.” </p>
<p>“I am not lying, I didn’t get really involved until the club and when I found out...” I heard clearly and distinctly. It was my Raph. My heart soared and I walked directly toward my brother.</p>
<p>“Stay away from Cloud!” Seth said and I got there and grabbed the phone. There he was, I saw his face and felt the tears on my face…</p>
<p>“Raph! I love you!” I said. Seth pulled the phone away and hung it up. I fought him, yelled and pounded on him with my fists but he just held me and let me vent.</p>
<p>“God damn it, Seth. Let me go home to him…” I demanded.</p>
<p>“Raph Nevelle is a corporate spy who spends most of his life playing both ends against the middle. Everything has an ulterior motive with him. I don’t know how he brain washed you but he doesn’t love, you. little brother.”</p>
<p>“He does.” I said. “He does, Seth. And I love him.” Seth sat there and held me until I was cried out.</p>
<p>“Go and find Zack. Tell him to get us orders stateside. Midgar first. No one fucks with my family and survives. Raph can live as long as you love him but I know he’s up to his eyeballs in this mess. I’ll find out about Reno, too.”</p>
<p>“Please, Seth.”</p>
<p>“Go, Ototo.”</p>
<p>As soon as I was gone, he called Raph back.</p>
<p>“Is he there, can I see him?” He asked before Seth could even speak.</p>
<p>“Save your bullshit. He isn’t here anymore. What is your angle?” Seth asked.</p>
<p>“I suppose you won’t believe me if I just say I’m in love with your brother?” Raph offered. Seth shook his head.</p>
<p>“Yes, it started as a con. Cloud is a very valuable commodity and I was planning to get very rich selling him to the highest bidder.  I wasn’t even going to meet him but one night at the club Mara sold him to this guy named Nash. He abused him. I was called in and I saw him laying there on the floor, bleeding, unconscious. Dunno what came over me.”</p>
<p>“So you just collected your Shinra money and sent him here?”</p>
<p>“I turned down the paycheck so President Shinra would let Cloud have human rights. Cloud doesn’t belong to Shinra. He’s a person. Is he well?”</p>
<p>“Yeah. He’s fine. This Nash, can you find him for me?”</p>
<p>“Yes, let me call Tseng. Nash is keeping a low profile but we can stir him up for you pretty quickly, I think. If you went to the club he’d be there in a second. He’s a bit obsessed with you.” Raph said.</p>
<p>Seth nodded. “We’re looking for Mara, Andy and Hojo. When you find them, let me know where they are.”  Raph nodded. </p>
<p>“Keep him safe. I know you don’t think I love him but Seth, I gave him up. It kills me but he’s safer away from me. Safer with you and Zack. I love him.” </p>
<p>Seth noted a tear on Raph’s cheek. He hung up.</p>
<p>Seth caught up with Zack.</p>
<p>“We going hunting?” Zack asked.</p>
<p>“Yes, and if you could please find out what Raph’s involvement was in the new Jenova project…”</p>
<p>Zack nodded. “Yes, herr commandant.” </p>
<p>“Would you fucking stop…” Seth growled and Zack laughed.</p>
<p>*****</p>
<p>I was an asshole on the plane to Midgar.  Was furious with Seth for keeping me away from Raph.</p>
<p>“Cloud…” Seth started.</p>
<p>“If you say one more time that I’m better off without him I will cut out your tongue.” I said and Zack looked up.</p>
<p>“I would hate to be around if you two got into a fight.” He said.</p>
<p>“Well, if brother dear doesn’t stop meddling…” I seethed.</p>
<p>“If you weren’t so damned naive.” I felt my eyes narrow.</p>
<p>“Yeah, I’m out.” Zack said and went up front to sit with the pilot.</p>
<p>“I’m trying to look out for you.” Seth said.</p>
<p>“I can look out for myself.” I growled</p>
<p>“Stop it. You don’t know Raph like I do. You are not the first handsome young lad to fall under his spell.”</p>
<p>“Were you is lover?” I asked. That possibility really stuck in my craw. </p>
<p>“No, but I did worship him. Til he sold my DNA to a Bot factory.” Seth said.</p>
<p>“He would never do that to me.” I seethed.</p>
<p>“He probably already has. There are probably fifteen little Cloud clones running around in his basement.”</p>
<p>I looked out the window and ignored him. </p>
<p>“Shinra has forbidden you to ever see him again.” He added like it would matter.</p>
<p>“Fuck them.” I said.</p>
<p>“You do like bad boys, don’t you?” Seth asked. The amusement in his voice pissed me off.</p>
<p>“I don’t like boys. It’s just Raph…” I tried to explain. </p>
<p>“And Reno.” He said.</p>
<p>“That’s different. That’s the glitch.” I said.</p>
<p>“Oh.” Seth said. I thought I’d managed to lie to him. Or maybe to myself. I was naive and didn’t even hear Seth’s sarcasm.</p>
<p>“Get some rest. We’ll be in Midgar soon. Do you have any civilian clothing?” He asked.</p>
<p>“A walk in closet full at Raph’s apartment.”  I said.</p>
<p>“It’s not there anymore. He got rid of that the second he didn’t have to make you think you mattered anymore.” Seth offered. I rolled my eyes at him. He didn’t know Raph. Not my Raph.</p>
<p>*****</p>
<p>I walked into the Apartment building.</p>
<p>“Mr. Cloud,” the doorman said and smiled.  Seth and Zack followed.</p>
<p>“He’s changed the locks, Cloud.” Seth said again but I walked on and ignored him.</p>
<p>We waited in the elevator. “This is insane… Raph has never loved anyone.” Seth offered again but he sounded less sure.</p>
<p>The doors opened and I walked to the apartment, took out my key and… the door opened.  </p>
<p>I walked in and into the bedroom and opened my closet. All my clothes were still there except for my favorite Gravball tee which I’d been wearing the night I left. It was scrunched up under Raph’s pillow. </p>
<p>“Oh look.” I said wen I found the shirt. “It’s all scrunched up like you would do if you were, say , trying to remember the smell of a loved one.”</p>
<p>Seth flipped me the bird.</p>
<p>I threw them clothing and opened my top drawer. My wallet was there with my cards and cash. I pocketed them.</p>
<p>“So? Are you a believer?” I said.</p>
<p>“He might have just had it put back when he realized we were coming. It doesn’t matter. Shinra says no.”</p>
<p>“Fuck Shinra.” I said.</p>
<p>I changed my clothes and grabbed a carry bag for our uniforms.</p>
<p>“You could drown a guy in this tub!” Zack offered from the bathroom. He came out carrying a bottle of foot soak. We looked at him. “My feet are horrible!” He said and dropped the bottle in the carry bag.</p>
<p>We went to the parking garage and I took out my key fob and unlocked the Mark 4. I typed in the code on the steering wheel.</p>
<p>“Welcome back, Cloud!” The computer assist said. “We’ve missed you.”</p>
<p>I threw Seth a sideways glance.</p>
<p>*****</p>
<p>“So, what are we doing?” Zack asked.</p>
<p>“Fishing.” Seth said and I stopped the car and we got out. I tossed the keys to the Valet.</p>
<p>Zack was wearing a suit and looking uncomfortable but very nice. Seth was nothing if not flamboyant, all in black and gray with a long jacket and gray waist coat. His silver hair was pulled back in one of Raph’s leather ties and his mako eyes shined. He was nothing short of glorious and Masamune sat prominently on his back. </p>
<p>I was dressed nicely too, don’t get me wrong, but more casual, soft sweater and jeans, a tan corduroy jacket. </p>
<p>“You’re an angel so you have a membership.” Seth offered.</p>
<p>“He’s a beg pardon what?” Zack asked.</p>
<p>“Just follow our lead.” Seth said to him.</p>
<p>Zack sighed and followed.</p>
<p>Once inside the doorman recognized me. </p>
<p>“I’m sorry, Gentlemen, no weapons.” He said. </p>
<p>“It’s not real. I mean come on, it’s a masamune ripoff. Seth gave me a sour look but was allowed to bring in his sword.</p>
<p>“Mr. Jaziel.” The doorman said and pulled collar down from the shelf. I leaned forward and let him snap it around my neck. The doorman reached for another and looked at Zack.</p>
<p>“Not no but fuck no.” Zack said and pushed past me. He grabbed the chain on my collar and pulled me into the bar.</p>
<p>This place never changes. It has no name, no owners to speak of, it exists in a gap between legality and lust. I walked to a table and Zack caught on, pulled the chain as if to direct me. He laughed.</p>
<p>“You know he likes that.” Seth whispered to Zack who dropped the chain and wiped his hand on his jacket. </p>
<p>I stood back and waited for Seth to sit, and then I sat at his feet and put my head on his lap. He was uncomfortable at first but put his hand on my head and stroked me like a pet.</p>
<p>We sat and Seth and Zack had a drink. There were a couple of other people dressed as Sephiroth here tonight and that brought a smile to Zack’s face.</p>
<p>“Dude, you’re a fetish.” He whispered and Seth kicked him under the table. </p>
<p>“Jerk.” Nisan wishpered harshly. Seth laughed harder.</p>
<p>A man approached, one of the fake Seths and smiled.</p>
<p>“You are very good. And it this a pet Cloud?” He asked.  I looked up, gave my best submissive wide eyed look.</p>
<p>“Yes.” Seth said.</p>
<p>“Are you brothers as well?” He asked and though Seth wasn’t a man with a tell, if you got to know him, you could read his subtleties. Must be a Jenova thing because people say the same thing about me. I thought Seth was going to vomit.</p>
<p>“Oh, yes, we are definitely brothers. Do we look alike?” He asked.</p>
<p>“Actually, you do. You look very similar.  Same nose, same jawline. Very similar. You’re brother is very beautiful. My Cloud and I were wondering if we might… borrow him. For fee, of course.”</p>
<p>I looked a Zack who was looking at us in horror. He rolled his eyes.</p>
<p>“Maybe.  I am looking for a particular buyer, though. Nash? I understand he pays very well for tankers.”  Seth was a quick study and I’d taught him the vernacular in the car on the ride over and he’d picked it up quickly. </p>
<p>“Or Mara Fentua.” Zack said more loudly then he’d intended. </p>
<p>The Seth impersonator thought for a second but neither name caused him any shock. “Him I could get down here quickly. His procurer is about. Tenishi. Mara is harder but I might be able to open a line of communication.” Seth smiled.</p>
<p>“Tell them the bidding starts at 10k. And this boy is quality.”</p>
<p>“Should I show him my mark, Master?” I asked and Seth looked at me uncertainly. He nodded.</p>
<p>I jumped up and unbuckled my pants and pulled down so he could see my Mara Mark.’’</p>
<p>“A real angel!” He said. “Of course I get a finder’s fee” and he ran his hand through my hair. I looked down and folded my hands submissively.  He nodded and walked away.</p>
<p>“What the fuck is going on here?” Zack asked. </p>
<p>“I told you to check on your flower girl.” Seth volleyed at him.</p>
<p>“Are you prostituting Cloud to that man?” Zack asked with more than a little disgust.</p>
<p>“No, he’s prostituting me out to another guy because he wants to kill him for raping me.” I told him, my face blank.</p>
<p>Zack took a minute to process. “I’m in. He hurt you, I’m in.” </p>
<p>Zack became more serious and watched the room.</p>
<p>It was twenty minutes later when Nash walked in with Marius in tow. He looked round the room and made a beeline for Seth.</p>
<p>He sat at our table and Marius fell to the ground at his feet. </p>
<p>He looked at me. “Jaziel.” He said the name like it was a prayer. “I’ve been looking everywhere for you. And your new master is… interesting.”</p>
<p>“Yes.” Seth said. “10K a half hour and you come to our dungeon.” Seth said. There was no discussion in his voice.</p>
<p>“Sorry, I don’t go places with people I don’t know.” Nash said.  Seth leaned in close and let Nash see his eyes. His cat’s eyes.</p>
<p>“Are those… contacts?” Seth smiled. “You’re… you’re not…”  Nash thought for a long moment.  “Yes.” he said.  </p>
<p>“Hey, Seth” Zack started. And Nash sighed.</p>
<p>“You are him. And you must be Zack Fair.”</p>
<p>“Yeah, I’m just the muscle. Wait, how do you know me?” Zack offered putting it together that he was somewhat famous as well.</p>
<p>“Oh, we watch all of you very closely.” Zack looked more then a little uncomfortable.</p>
<p>“Guess I’m not the only one who is a fetish.” Seth jibed with a mean smile.  I thought Zack was going to bolt, or vomit or both.</p>
<p>“And you must be the real, live Cloud. I had sex with Cloud Strife…” Nash said and giggled.<br/>Marius was looking nervous and I knew that he was the brains of this operation.  I stepped forward and pressed my lips against Nash’s and stroked his cock.</p>
<p>“And if you want to again it’s time to go.” I whispered.  He smiled and stood. </p>
<p>“Let’s go, then. My place might be better.” he offered and Seth nodded magnanimously. Nash grabbed my collar and pulled Marius and I along. </p>
<p>*****</p>
<p>Zack looked homicidal. </p>
<p>“Can we do it now?” he whispered to Seth.</p>
<p>“Not in a town car.” Seth offered. “To exposed.”</p>
<p>I was trapped between Nash and Marius.  Nash had me pulled close and was kissing me gently on the neck and feeling m up. I must have looked really distressed because Zack was glaring at him as if his stare might bring the man actual death.</p>
<p>Nash bit me and I cried out. I saw Zack reach for his sword and Seth push him back. </p>
<p>Before he had marked me badly the car stopped and we got out. I was pushed out before Nash and we were in the elevator up, up to his lair. I knew Seth and Zack were there, that they would protect me but still Nash’s proximity made my shin crawl.</p>
<p>We entered and the place was a Gothic nightmare.</p>
<p>“Is this really what you think of me? Seth asked. It sounded banal but I could hear the disgust in his voice. </p>
<p>“Amazing isn’t it? I read every press release, I know everything about you. Your likes, your wants…”</p>
<p>“I need to talk to my PR people.” Seth said. “If you knew anything at all about me you would know 2twothings. First, I’m a simple man and I like simple, utilitarian things. I’m a military man.  The other thing you’d know is that there are only two things in the this world I give a fuck about. My best friend, Zack and my brother, Cloud. I would never sell either to you or anyone else.”</p>
<p>And he casually drove Masamune through Marius’ left eye and drew it out slowly.</p>
<p>Nash had a moment to take a step back, a noise like the last breath of a corpse issued from him, and then Zack drew Buster and cleaved him in half. </p>
<p>“I’m going to go puke now.” Zack said and he ran to the bathroom and I heard him retching.</p>
<p>“See if he knows anything about Mara.” Seth said and started tossing the place. I moved to help him. There was nothing here. </p>
<p>Zack came back from the bathroom looking pale and ill. “What the fuck happened to you, Ototo?” He asked, his voice was full of love ror me and hatred of the beings laying at our feet. “Fucking monsters.vou should use some potion to get rid of that mark on your neck.” Zack said.</p>
<p>“It’s fine.” I said and looked at him. He shook his head. </p>
<p>“Not for you, kid, I kinda want to defile this guy’s corpse every time I look at it…” He offered and leaned on the edge of the crushed velvet couch.</p>
<p>“We should hunt down his decorator and end this abomination while we’re here.” Seth said. OK, so how do we clean up this mess.</p>
<p>“Maybe the Turks could bring over that equipment the they have and search the place.” Zack offered.</p>
<p>“And Tseng knows some of the people in this world.” Seth offered.</p>
<p>“Ew.” Zack said.</p>
<p>“You think Reno will be with them?” I asked and they turned and glared at me.  “It would just be awkward. Gods what you must think of me.”  I offered.  </p>
<p>“Ummm.” Zack said and gave me a look.</p>
<p>“They can dispose of the bodies as well.” Seth said.  </p>
<p>He called Tseng-ue.</p>
<p>*****</p>
<p>It was ten minutes and Tseng, Cissnei and Rude entered. Reno brought up the rear and when he walked into the room and saw me he smiled. </p>
<p>“Hey kid.” He offered.</p>
<p>“Stay away from my brother or I’ll cut off your hands.” Seth said.</p>
<p>“I don’t know. He seems to like my hands.” Reno said pressing his luck.  </p>
<p>I walked over to Reno and put myself between him and Seth lest my brother kill again.</p>
<p>“Stop poking him.” I said quietly. “And one more sexual joke and I’m getting out of his way.” I said. </p>
<p>“Fine. Any dirt on Mara?” Reno asked.</p>
<p>“I would not expect to find anything here. Mara and Nash were not close. But if we dangle Cloud out to her she will bite. They all will and my sources suggest she might be near Midgar.” Tseng-ue offered.</p>
<p>“OK, I’ll do it.” I said.</p>
<p>“No, I can’t let you…” Seth said. </p>
<p>“I am not a child. I deserve a say and I say yes.” I said. He and I were still arguing over Raph.</p>
<p>“I’m with him. He’s right, he’s a grown up.” Reno said and I wasn’t sure if he wanted me dead or really meant what he said.</p>
<p>The others nodded. </p>
<p>“Honestly, I just want these people dead so I can try to feel clean again.” Zack offered.  </p>
<p>“Good, then let’s send Cloud back into the club?” Tseng-ue offered.</p>
<p>“Alone?” Zack asked.</p>
<p>“No, but she knows you’re friends with Seth, Zack, if her network is as good as I think it is. Reno. You take Cloud back tomorrow…” Tseng said.</p>
<p>“I forbid…” Seth began but I cut him off with a look. Reno smiled and grabbed my chain. </p>
<p>“I’ll keep an eye on him til then. Come on, honey.” He said and dragged me to the elevator. I could feel Seth glowering behind us.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0017"><h2>17. Finding Mara</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The plan to capture the elusive Mara is hatched. Cloud and Reno get closer. Raph messes up.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The Four Loves of Cloud Strife<br/>Part 2 – Brothers in Arms</p><p>Chapter Three<br/>Finding Mara </p><p>Sometimes I cry so hard from pleading<br/>So sick and tired of all the needless beating<br/>But baby when they knock you down and out<br/>Is where you oughta stay<br/>And after all the blood that you still owe<br/>Another time was just another blow<br/>So fix your eyes and get up<br/>Baby, get up while you can</p><p>I don’t love you, My Chemical Romance.</p><p> </p><p>I sat next to Reno in the car. He pulled into his parking deck and I made to move out but he grabbed me, pulled me back in and kissed me hard.</p><p>“Don’t move.” He took out his phone and hit a speed dial number. There was a moment of silence when I just heard ringing then someone say “hello.”</p><p>“Unblock your phone, he’s going to call.” He he said quickly and hung up.</p><p>He turned to me. “Five minutes, not a second more. And you owe me. You can pay me back upstairs.” He said and took my phone, hit Raph’s speed dial number. He handed it back.</p><p>Raph answered I could see him and I started crying then, touched the screen as if he might feel my caress. He was teary as well.</p><p>“I love you.” He said.</p><p>“I love you. Please let me come home…” I begged.</p><p>“Listen, darling it’s better this way. You’re young and you need to…”</p><p>“Stop. I love you and I want to be with you. Stop telling me how I’ll be happy without you. I won’t be.”</p><p>I saw Reno look at his watch. He held up his finger in a “One” motion.</p><p>“Sweetie, I love you but you can’t come home. Shinra is watching you very closely…”</p><p>“I don’t care. I hate being without you. I want you, I wish we could be together and just spend the weekend in bed and start a real life together. Please Raph, please don’t let me go…”</p><p>“It’s out of my hands, Cloud. And yours. We cannot be together. If we defy them, I’m afraid they’ll hurt you.”</p><p>“That’s what Seth said about Abbi. They’re just trying to control us and keep up apart.”  Reno held up three fingers.</p><p>“And are Seth and Abbi together? No, she’s marrying someone else in a few weeks. “</p><p>“We can run away.” I said.</p><p>“Where? Shinra owns the whole world. I don’t care what they do to me, Cloud. I don’t want you to get hurt.</p><p>Reno added a fourth finger.</p><p>“PLEASE,” I begged. I saw someone move in the background, a young man with blond hair. It hit me in the chest like a bag of nails. He was sleeping with someone else. He was in his robe and sleep pants and his hair was not perfect and pulled back like usual. “Oh, my God. You did it. You replaced me. Reno was right…”<br/>“No, love no, it’s not…” Reno grabbed the phone and hung it up.</p><p>“He… he…” I stuttered.</p><p>“I hate to say I told you so. But… Come on, let’s go upstairs. I’ll make you a nasty shake and some food. I can order panic!burgers.” He said and got out of the car. I couldn’t move. I couldn’t breathe. </p><p>He came and lifted me to my feet and led me to the elevator. A few minutes later we were in his apartment, it was a bachelor pad with little furniture and a huge TV. There were porn mags and video games, some of them ones I played. </p><p>I walked over to the couch and dropped onto it and just sat dumbstruck. Tears ran down my face but I didn’t acknowledge them.</p><p>Reno gave me space. He let me get some of it out and finally came and sat down with a bag of Panic!burgers.</p><p>“He bought me these the first night we met.” I said. </p><p>He played with my hair as I ate and then started rubbing my shoulders. I finished my burger and leaned back against him and took out my smart pad. I called Seth.</p><p>“Yes, Ototo?” Seth asked. One look at the expression on my face and he froze. “Do I need to come and kill Reno?  You don’t have to stay there. We have a hotel…”</p><p>“No, I’m… fine. I called Raph.” I said.</p><p>“Why…” He stopped for a minute and thought, his eyes narrowed and he looked a Reno with a sly smile. “Is he alright?” He asked completely changing his tune.</p><p>“He’s great. He has a new boy. You were right.” I said.</p><p>“I’m coming to get you.” He said but I shook my head. </p><p>“I just want to sleep.” I said and snuggled into Reno’s chest. </p><p>“Yes, put Sinclair on the line.” Seth said. Reno’s face curled into a knot at the name that he hated.</p><p>Reno grabbed the phone. “Yes, SETH?” he asked.</p><p>“Take care of him. And very clever.” Seth offered. Reno smiled and nodded.</p><p>“I got him.” Reno said. He hung up the phone and pulled me close and we fell asleep wrapped around each other on his couch.</p><p>*****</p><p>“I’m coming to the base and when I get there, you just made my kill list, Raph.” Seth growled into the smart pad.</p><p>“Yes, fine.” Raph said and leaned back in his desk chair.</p><p>“I’m not joking.” Seth said.</p><p>“I fucked up. If the situation were reversed I’d be pissed with you.” He said. “I was lonely. I hired a boy. He looked a lot like Cloud…” Raph said. Raph had no body language, he just hung there, dead and old, broken and dejected.</p><p>Seth leaned back and looked at Raph. He knew Raph was a great actor but not this great. Everything in his body language as mournful and sad. Was it possible?  “You really are in love with my brother?” He said and Raph looked up.</p><p>“Yes. I am, I love him very much. It’s for the best, though. He’s safer.” Raph looked like he’s just lost everything.</p><p>“He told me about Mara. And Andy. And Nash who is now deceased.” Seth said.</p><p>“Ah, kill list. Yes, I get it now.” Raph said but there was no spirit.</p><p>“Do you know where Mara is?” Seth asked.</p><p>“If I did I’d kill her myself. But I’ll keep looking for the both of them.” Raph sighed.</p><p>“Do that.” Seth ordered.</p><p>“Even if it was resolved, they were dead and he was safe, Shinra has put his foot down. He’s furious that I gave you Cloud’s phone number. Convinced I have left the world to your tender mercies.” Raph said.</p><p>“Don’t kill yourself just yet, you old bastard.” Seth offered and it was a little encouraging.</p><p>“Me? I’m too vain. But him… Do keep a watch.” Raph offered.  Seth nodded. </p><p>“I’m sorry. For what it’s worth, I’m glad you were there for him. Thank you.” Seth offered. Raph nodded.</p><p>Seth hung up.</p><p>Seth turned to Zack. “Did you look up that information on Raph like I asked you?”</p><p>Zack nodded. “Near as I can figure, Raph Nevelle gave up a shit ton of money in exchange for your brother’s being declared a human. I also discovered that legally, you aren’t.” </p><p>“The fuck?” Seth said and grabbed the smart pad from Zack. Zck told him what file to look at and he called it up. “Son of a...”</p><p>*****</p><p> </p><p> Reno kissed me awake. </p><p>“Stop.” I moaned and stretched. </p><p>“Payment. Remember?” He said. He pushed his tongue in my mouth and I couldn’t help myself, he tasted so good and it felt so good to be in his arms. I kissed him back, wrapped my arms around him and twined my fingers in his red hair.</p><p>“I want you.” I whispered in his ear and he shuddered and made a little growl and started sucking on my neck. I sighed loudly and bucked underneath him and he wrapped his legs around me holding me still.</p><p>We rolled off the couch onto the floor accidentally but he didn’t seem to notice, pulled my shirt over my head and started kissing down me, unbuckled my pants and stroked me.</p><p>“Tell me you want me again. Tell me you need me.” He breathed in my ear and then moved down and put his mouth of my erection and began to suck.</p><p>“I want you Reno,  I want you and I need you and I can’t get enough of you, I can’t get close enough to you. Fuck me.” I said and it drove him to insanity, he jumped up and pulled me to my feet and threw me over his shoulder. It made me feel a little better, too. If Raph could replace me...</p><p>He took me into his bedroom and threw me on the bed. He pushed my hands over my head and I felt handcuffs slip deftly on and lock me tight.</p><p>Now I was chained to his bed and he got up, undressed and finished removing my clothing. He came back and climbed on top of me, pushed his cock in my mouth.</p><p>“Suck.” He ordered and I did. He closed his eyes and was lost, his face softened in passion. He licked his lips. </p><p>A few minutes later he pulled out of my mouth and walked over to the closet. He opened it and pulled out a few things, I couldn’t see from my vantage point. </p><p>He came back and put clips on me, my nipples, scrotum, the insides of my thighs and connected them all with a silver chain. Then I felt the crack of a riding crop.</p><p>“Who owns you?” He asked.</p><p>“You do, my lord.”</p><p>“Ooo, I like that one. Lord and master. You’re not mine yet, Cloud, but someday I’m going to keep you. I’m going to have a box made for you. Tseng says not yet.”</p><p>He kissed me and bit my lip til it bled and then marked me with his mouth, on my neck, my chest, my thigh. He tugged hard on the chain and sent a shiver a pain through me. Again the crop came down.</p><p>“You’re going to be mine, and you’re the one thing I want more than anything.” He sighed and reached into the drawer beside his bed. He pulled out some lube.</p><p>“Some girl will grab you before then.” I sighed, but it was so good to be wanted, to be coveted and I knew he did, he coveted me. I was a prize to be earned, or won.</p><p>“Not likely. I’m kinda bi but mostly gay. ” He said and finished lubing. “And most people just piss me off.”</p><p>“Do I?” I asked.</p><p>“Yeah, but I can do something about that.’” He responded and shoved my legs apart hard.</p><p>He grunted he entered me and I moaned. He pulled my arms and the handcuffs dug into my wrists. He motion made the chains pull and dug and little pulls came from the clips.</p><p>“If I go to far say orange.” He whispered and went back to having his way with me. </p><p>He finished before me and pulled out and started sucking me. I got close quickly.</p><p>“Stop, I’m close.” But he ignored me and I finished with him swallowing. He looked up wiping his mouth. The look on his face was hard to describe. He seemed, pleased and covetous and hungry all at the same time.</p><p>He got up and went into the bathroom and came back with a towel and cleaned me up.</p><p>“Are you going to unlock the cuffs?” I asked. He smiled and shook his head and disappeared into the other room. “Reno. RENO! Let me go!”  </p><p>I yelled for about 10 minutes and I heard the front door close. I lay there, helpless, clipped and cuffed and waited for him to come back.</p><p>After an hour I lost feeling in my fingers, after two my hands were numb. I heard him come back in. </p><p>He came into the room and smiled.</p><p>“I could walk into this view for the rest of my life.”  He sighed and dropped some of my clothes on the bed and walked out again.</p><p>“I can’t feel my hands, gods damn it!” I screamed. He came in twenty minutes later with miso bowls and unlocked me.  I rubbed my hands and pulled the clips off. I took a bowl and ate. It was really good.</p><p>“I made you one of those disgusting shakes, too.” He handed me the shaker and I downed it. “You lived this charmed existence.” He said.</p><p>“Yeah, raped, beaten… left tied to a bed for hours…” I groused. He smiled and kissed me sweetly.</p><p> </p><p>“And there is always someone there to catch you, to kiss it all better.” He leaned over and kissed me again and got up. “Games on in 30. I got snacks and beers. Then we can go to the club. Call your brother, he’s convinced I killed you and buried you in the park.” He went into the other room and I grabbed my smart pad. </p><p>I hit Seth on the speed dial. </p><p>He looked frantic when I picked up. “You’re alive? Still in bed?” Seth asked. He was in a control room, looked like it was in a Shinra office building. I nodded and grabbed a tee shirt. “You ok?” He asked.</p><p>“Yeah, Reno is an ass but I know, for some reason, he’d never hurt me. He’s weird.” I offered and grabbed my jeans.</p><p>“That is a term. Be careful with him, he’s a sociopath.” Seth offered.</p><p>“No, no he isn’t. He’s… broken. But don’t worry I’ve survived way worse than him. And leads?” I asked changing the subject.</p><p>“Yes, your clever captor has flushed out a culprit. As we suspected Mara was listening to Raph’s phone calls and she knows where you are. She’ll be in Midgar tonight, and once they see you at the club...” He said.</p><p>“Do you know where she is now?” I asked. “Maybe we could skip a face to face, I thought.” It had been hard enough being near Nash, letting him touch me. The feelings, the memories had threatened to bring on an episode.</p><p>He shook his head. </p><p>I nodded.  “I’m fine, he’s feeding me healthy and making sure I stay put.”  I offered. Seth frowned.</p><p>Reno walked back into the room and fell on the bed next to me, waved at Seth and kissed my cheek. I thought Seth might come through the screen and kill him.</p><p>“Reno…” He warned and Reno laughed. </p><p>“I’m not going to hurt him, Seth. He’s mine. Eventually. I don’t break my toys, I break other people’s.”  He jumped up. “Come on, pre-game is on.”  He vanished into the other room.</p><p>“What the hell does he mean?” Seth asked.   I shrugged.  </p><p>“You know how he is.” I said. </p><p>Seth nodded and sighed. “Just. Watch your back. We have a couple of cameras that were planted by the someone we sent in undercover and we’ll all be outside so you’ll be perfectly safe.”</p><p>I nodded and grabbed my pants.</p><p>“Ototo. You might not want to go with us when we… deal with Mara.” He offered.</p><p>“Oh, I wouldn’t miss it for the world.” I said. I could hear the ice in my voice. </p><p>“Be careful, you sound like Mother.” He said and it caught me aback. One because it did and two because it had never occurred to me that she talked to him too. </p><p>There is a rule about being a Jenova Clone. Do not talk about Mother unless you have to. Even now so far removed from her influence I’m still loathe to mention her name or discuss her influence though it will become important to this story. </p><p>There are two reason. </p><p>The first one is Mother is a genocidal murder machine bent on destroying anyone who even met the Centra. which would include humanity. When you tell people she’s talking to you in your head, they get a little antsy. Like pitch fork and torch antsy.</p><p>The other reason is the more you talk about her, think about her, the deeper she burrows in your brain. She gets harder and harder to ignore. Best not to talk about her. </p><p>But she was in his head and my head and sometimes we had little moments when we were like her. </p><p>I went in and sat with him on the couch, we ate chips and drank beer and talked gravball. It was Core and Unity so it was a good time. He was a Core fan and I was Unity, both teams had a reputation for being polar opposites, Core were a bunch of cheating scoundrels and  Unity were paladin like in their respect for the rules. </p><p>Core won but the victory is debated hotly among fans to this day.</p><p>“We need to get dressed and get something to eat before the club.” Reno said and jumped up.</p><p>I jumped up and ran into the shower. He joined me there. </p><p>“Is this a dirty shower or a clean one?” I asked as he slipped in behind me.</p><p>“Clean. Core went into over time. We have to get you ready.”</p><p>“What do you mean?” He washed my hair and kissed my cheek.</p><p>“I have to put in a GPS tracker. It’s a small injection…”</p><p>“But you’re not going to let her take me, right?” I said and turned to him, alarmed.</p><p>“Just a fail safe. I am not going to let that bitch touch you again. But, anything can always happen and if this goes tits up? I want to know where the fuck you are.”</p><p>I nodded. We got out of the shower and he dried my hair. He put guy liner on me and picked out an outfit.</p><p>“Must I?”  I asked.</p><p>“You know what she likes.” He said. </p><p>“And you like?”</p><p>“You do look very, very nice… Don’t worry. I’ll kill her first. Before I let her touch you.” He said and I could tell him meant it.</p><p>He tossed the outfit on the bed and reached over and grabbed a syringe out of his bedside table. </p><p>“Shoulder.” He said and I turned so he could reach me. I could feel it move under my skin. It was tiny but hard and it moved.</p><p>“OK, that’s horrible.” I said. He kissed my wound and my cheek. </p><p>“Suit up.” He said. He wandered off to dress in some of my clothing he’d helped himself to at Raph’s.</p><p>*****</p><p>I saw the van across the street. So did Reno.</p><p>“Is that them?” I asked. He looked very annoyed and keyed his ear piece.</p><p>“Dude, even Cloud made you. You want to move it?” I gave him a dirty look.</p><p>The van started and drove away.</p><p>“Seth isn’t comfortable with this.” Reno grinned and threw his arm around my shoulder. </p><p>“Why must you jerk his chain. Some day he’s going to blow up.” I offered.</p><p>“Seth likes me, he just can’t let anyone else know he does.” Reno said.</p><p>“Looks like he hates you to me.” I said.</p><p>“And you got a shitty track record with reading people.” He offered and pushed me into the club.</p><p>“Mr. Jaziel.” The doorman said. “And this is?” </p><p>“My client.” I said as I leaned over and let him slip the collar around my neck. </p><p>“Yes of course, sir. And what shall I call him?”</p><p>“Boss is good.” Reno offered and grabbed my leash. He jerked on it pretty hard and I lurched forward. “How much is a room?” He asked. I glared at him. </p><p>“1000 per hour.”  Reno nodded. We entered and he took a seat at a table and I sat obediently at his feet.</p><p>“I could totally get used to this.” He said. He chuckled then at something that was said in the ear piece. I put my head on his lap and he twined his fingers in my hair. </p><p>“Can I get you something, Boss?” The waitress asked. </p><p>“A beer and a saucer.” he told her and she left and came back a moment later with his requests. He opened the beer and poured some of it in the saucer and put it on the floor in front of me. “Thought you might be thirsty.” He said with a savage grin.</p><p>“Yes, master,”  I said and threw him a scathing look and leaned down and licked the beer of the saucer.</p><p>“Keep this up and I’ll have to get a god damned room.” He muttered.  I finished the beer and he grabbed my hair, pulled me up into his lap and kissed me. He wrapped his arms around me and ran his finger over the GPS tracker embedding under my skin. </p><p>“Do we have to play it up this much?” I whispered in his ear.</p><p>“Whose playing. This might be the only chance I ever have to bring the perfect slave to the underground scene. I’m fucking enjoying it.. Taking advantage.” He said and grabbed my ass hard.</p><p>“Yes master,” I breathed in his ear. I knew it would set him off. He kissed me then and we were both distracted.</p><p>He looked up when someone slid into the booth next to him, pinning us in.</p><p>It was a large goon. He put a smart pad on the table and hit the button. Mara appeared on the screen. When she saw me her eyes went huge.</p><p>“It is you. I’ve been looking for you everywhere.” she said and there was joy in her voice.</p><p>A tremble filled my body and I felt Reno unconsciously hold me tighter.</p><p>“No, I think this is mine.” Reno said to her. And then he went limp. </p><p>“Reno?” I said. “Reno? What the hell have you done!” I demanded.</p><p>The goon grabbed me and dragged me out of the booth and to the door. As we crossed the floor a syringe clattered to the floor.</p><p>“Let me go, let me…” One of the other patrons, a tall man with dark hair decided to be heroic and put himself between us and the door.  The goon took out a pistol and shot him in the head. He made to hoist me over his shoulder and I punched him in the face.</p><p>“Freeze” he said in the perfect keying tone. He slapped me and I went down. He lifted me off the floor and carried me out.</p><p>There was a car not far down the street and we were moving toward it. I wriggled hard and managed to get my feet on the ground and took a swing at the kidney of my abductor.</p><p>“Relax” he said and keyed me. I fell limp to the street. “Open.” I did and he poured a foul liquid into my mouth which I swallowed as per my training. </p><p>I stood again and a moment later my knees buckled and I went down for the count.</p><p>“What did you give me?” I slurred.</p><p>“Who knew Heylon came in a liquid?” He replied.</p><p>Up until now a lot of my vulnerability had been an act to get close to her but now I was really high. However, I stayed on mission. I had to make sure she was there. The last thing I had seen in the club was Reno slumped over the table, unconscious. I had to get back to him, make sure he was OK.</p><p>I was worried for him but we had a plan. I got to the car and the door opened. Mara was there. Of course she couldn’t resist coming for her herself.</p><p>“No one is going to save you. We found your van and shot it up real good.” The goon said.</p><p>She smiled as she leaned forward to get me. I pulled away from her instinctively. “Mara!” I said, loudly and she smiled. </p><p>And then Seth and Tseng-ue dropped from the windows of the floor above the club, swords out.  I took the knife out of my pocket and stabbed the goon, he fell back.</p><p>“Drive!” Mara yelled and I fell into her lap as the car lurched forward. She wrapped her arms around me and I felt her lips on my face. “Freeze”, she said and keyed me. My muscles locked and I was helpless.</p><p>The door slammed shut as we pulled out and I was well and truly alone with her now.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0018"><h2>18. Abbi</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The Four Loves of Cloud Strife<br/>
Part 2 – Brothers in Arms</p><p>Chapter Four<br/>
Abbi</p><p> </p><p>I was just guessing at numbers and figures<br/>
Pulling your puzzles apart<br/>
Questions of science, science and progress<br/>
Do not speak as loud as my heart<br/>
Tell me you love me<br/>
Come… </p><p>The Scientist, Cold Play.</p><p> </p><p>Interview – Cloud Strife</p><p>It this point Reno Sinclair joined us on the lanai and offered to tell his parts of the story.</p><p>Reno:</p><p>I want to tell you my part of the story, because he's gonna tell it wrong. </p><p>I stumbled out of the bar with my baton out and activated. I was iffy on my feet and slurring my words. I felt punch drunk. I don’t know what they gave me but under other circumstances I’d be grateful. </p><p>“Where the fuck are they?” I demanded of Seth and Tseng as they moved away from me impossibly fast. He followed them, stumbling and lurching, and then suddenly I felt something burning. There was a screech and an obscenity and I realized it was me.  Seth chuckled and Tseng gave me a look, but not an angry one. Apparently I tagged myself with my own electro mag baton. It hurt a fucking lot.</p><p>I reached them on the corner.</p><p>“Lost them!” Tseng was saying.</p><p>“Damnit!” Seth growled.</p><p>“I’ll call and mobilize Shinra Corp, did you get the tag number of the van?” Tseng asked Seth. </p><p>“No, I’ll ask some of my MI friends if they can track the bitch through airports.” Seth said.</p><p>“And get Zack working his computer magic…” Tseng said.</p><p>“Or.” I said and I held out my Smart pad with the RF tracker I’d implanted in his shoulder. They both looked at me and then at the smart pad and smiled.</p><p>“And you called him stupid.” Tseng said to Seth. At that moment the baton made contact again with my leg and I shuddered and dropped it. </p><p>“He just hit himself with his own baton again..” Seth offered and Tseng grabbed the phone.  Seth took my baton and grabbed me by the collar and dragged me along behind them as they ran to the car they had hiding round the corner.</p><p> </p><p>*****<br/>
Cloud:</p><p>“To bad Andy isn’t here.” I said and sat next to her.</p><p>“Did you come up with this plan yourself or is it your insufferable brother’s doing.” She asked.</p><p>“Me, actually.” I said and wrapped my arms around her. She gave me the creeps still but anger was rising in me and I wanted to scare her. I knew touching her would really annoy her.  “Seth, he’s planning your execution, though, so you’ll get to witness his creativity.”  I wasn’t alone and at her mercy. I had an army looking for me, one not afraid to get their hands dirty. </p><p>I was also feeling a little empty because of my previous encounter with Raph. I become self destructive when I get like that. It hung in the back of my mind and I kept seeing that other man in his bedroom. Blond and handsome. Raph had a type, I guess and I was just the latest in his list of conquests. Hell, not even the latest anymore.</p><p>“I was just doing what Shinra asked…” She said. “What Raph wanted…” She offered. </p><p>She was reacting to me differently and the whine I her voice annoyed me and dragged me out of my sadness.  It occurred to me that she was suddenly afraid I me. I wasn’t frightened little Cloud anymore, even with the Heylon in my system.</p><p>“Raph isn’t in my life anymore. He’s replaced me so you can’t hurt me with that. In fact, I don’t give a shit about anything except watching you die.” I said and pulled some lint off her coat. Her eyes wtched my hand like it was a snake crawling on her.</p><p>“I’m sorry. I’m really sorry.” She offered and touched my face. I leaned forward and kissed her and then bit her lip til she bled. She cried out and struggled but I held her tight.</p><p>“We picked up a tail.” The driver called to her. </p><p>“Lose him! That’s why I hired you!” she said as she pushed me away</p><p>Tseng-ue had been designated the driver, since he had been to combat driving school. Seth leaned out the window hoping to get close enough to jump on Mara’s vehicle.</p><p>They barreled down on us and I was half hoping Mara might get away with me. Then I could torture her on my own. </p><p>The car lurched sideways as Tseng did a PIT maneuver to the back left quarter panel of the town car. The driver recovered but I could tell there was some pretty serious damage from the shimmy in the car</p><p>I heard someone land on the roof with a heavy thud. Then I heard the metal on metal of the sword being jammed through the roof.</p><p>*****</p><p>Seth stood on the window frame of the car and as soon as the car I was in stopped fishtailing through the streets, he launched himself onto the roof and moved to where the driver would approximately be.</p><p>He lifted Masamune into the air and brought it down with great force and managed to impale the driver to his seat and then pulled the sharp blade back out,  red with ichor. He listened a minute and felt the car careen out of control and leapt backwards in a perfect somersault. </p><p>The car swerved for a minute, and I leaned over, pulled the door open and dragged myself and Mara from the rear seat. We hit the pavement, I took most of the damage on my back and wrapped my arms around her as it was rolled to a stop.</p><p>Behind us the night was punctuated by a loud explosion and accompanying fireball. I found myself lying on to of her with my arms locked around her. She looked up into my blue eyes, I don’t know what she saw there but it terrified her.</p><p>“You cost me Raph, you bitch and so I’m giving you to Seth.” I whispered the words and they were chilling even to me.</p><p>I looked up ans Seth was over us, looking down.</p><p>“Hello, Ototo.” he said with a violent grin on his face.  He reached down his hand and I took it and with the other grabbed Mara by the arm and hoisted her up.</p><p>“You’re, you’re hurting me.” She said.</p><p>“You think this is uncomfortable? Try being your slave for a week.” I offered.</p><p>“Or having someone tell your fiance you’re cheating with her.” Seth offered.</p><p>“Or having your son taken from you because of the lies of another.” Tseng added.</p><p>“Or being narced out to Andy.” Reno said.</p><p>“I don’t know you but sounds like you need to die.” Zack offered. We all looked at him. “I just wanted to be part of the group.” he said cheerfully.</p><p>“Not this group.” Tseng said sagely and patted his shoulder. </p><p>Seth grabbed Mara’s other arm and dragged her back to his car.</p><p> </p><p>*****<br/>
Reno:</p><p>Cloud and I were in the back seat wrapped around each other and high as kites. We giggled and kissed like teen-agers while Mara sat across from us in the back of the car. </p><p>She seemed to envy me, and for my part I would occasionally give her a threatening look. It would back her down. Tseng sat in the front with Seth and Zack was squeezed in the other side of Mara.</p><p>“You see this, Bitch? This is mine.’ I said motioning the Cloud. He buried his face in my neck and laughed. “Did you think I wouldn’t find out who told on me to Andy? Do you know how long he kept me in that hole? I forgot what light looked like. And for what? An ampule of Zedoc.” I said to her at one point.  “I needed that shit, it kept the pain at bay.”</p><p>“What did she do to you?” Zack asked.</p><p>“When I was in the fight ring. I had a little Zedoc habit. A lot of times after a fight we wouldn’t get potions and Zedoc helped. It not only is an anesthetic, but it helps stop the blood flow. Anyway, me and a few of guys on the crew were selling it, too. And this bitch wanted a cut and when we told her no she narced us out. Andy killed three of us and put the rest of us in a gods damned hole for a month. Two of the guys died from infections from being in there.” I said with a cold resolve. </p><p>Cloud wrapped around me a little tighter and kissed my cheek.</p><p>“I’m sorry.” he said. I got to tell you that moment I was kinda glad Mara narced me out. I loved it when Cloud was all snugly and protective and stuff. </p><p>“I’m sorry.” She offered. She sounded really humble and scared and I hoped she was. </p><p>“Just because you know your about to get your tits cut off.” I charged. </p><p>I knew the bitch was incapable of remorse.  I’d also been watching Seth and I was pretty sure she was about to repay her whole fucking Karmic debt at his hands. He was furious. I don’t think I ever saw him that mad, ever. Not even with Andy. </p><p>She shuddered a little and fell silent.  The car stopped and she began to cry.</p><p>Seth came and opened the door and grabbed her and pulled her out around Zack. </p><p>“Sephiroth, I can explain.” She said. She was in smooth mode. She seemed to still think she could charm him, survive this. </p><p>“Not if I cut out your tongue you can’t,” He said coolly, sensually. He fucking meant it, too. He was flat out psycho. </p><p>I think that’s the moment she really realized how truly fucked she was. The fight went out of her and she fell limp. There was no one here she didn’t own a debt of blood. Even Zack. He’d figured out she’d screwed over the people he loved and he was one of them hero types.</p><p>“What do you have planned?” She asked and looked at him with a bit of defiance.</p><p>“I should do to you what you did to Cloud.”  She turned and looked at Cloud, her eyes wide. Cloud blushed and pushed his face into my chest. </p><p>She shook her head. “So you acknowledge what you did to my beloved baby brother is horrific?” She froze and he dragged her toward an abandon building.</p><p>I got out and followed with Cloud pulled close to me with his head on my shoulder. He regressed sometimes back then. He was unstable from all the shit they did to him.  We were both staggering some and he was giggling a little. I wasn’t sure how much of that was drug and how much blood lust but I dug it. He pulled me to him and kissed my cheek. </p><p>“Don’t worry, baby, that bitch is gonna pay. No one will ever hurt you again.” I said and put my arm around his waist.</p><p>“You either.” He replied and smiled. Tseng was behind Seth, I think in case she bolted. Zack was carrying a case from the car and I was sure it was Seth’s. Zack seemed a little afraid of it.</p><p>*****<br/>
Cloud:</p><p>It was dark there in the room on the inside of the building and Zack gave Seth the case.</p><p>“You go and make sure there are no uninvited guests,” Seth said to Zack. He was protecting him, I could tell. Seth was going to do something nightmarish and Zack was still… human. Not like the rest of us. Seth would do what he could to keep him that way, so would I.</p><p>Zack nodded and exited the building. I think he suspected that he didn’t want to see what was about to happen.</p><p>Seth opened the case and pulled out a length of chain, a mako battery and tool kit. I noticed there was an arc knife, a tool used for cutting concrete that used a really hot laser. Seth never gave mercy to those he didn’t feel deserved it. </p><p>Mara died that night, but it took hours for the screaming to stop. It echoed in my ears for a long time after there was no life left in her. I buried my face in Reno’s chest for most of it. He did not look away, nor did Tseng-ue. </p><p>When the screams died, Seth made a mockery of her body. He hung it draped in old wires scavenged from the building, secured to the outside of the building with asphalt spikes and made to look like an a Jenova angel the cords and wires tied around her and stretched like single wing going off to her left. Her blood pooled some forty feel below on the pavement and in it he wrote the word “Slaver.”</p><p>There was a message there. A statement. Seth wanted to make sure everyone knew why Genesis was so broken, why Angeal was falling apart and why he and I were so fucking weird. That not just Jenova Clones were capable of so much destruction. I could tell it pleased Mother. She was proud of us that night. </p><p>Reno kept my face pulled to his chest as we exited, but I stopped pulled away and looked at my brother’s master work. I looked for a long moment. I committed it to memory. I walked to my brother and threw my arms around him.</p><p>“Thank you.” I said. He hugged me back.</p><p>“You are my brother.” was all he said. He put his arm around my shoulder and pulled me back to the car with Reno in tow.</p><p>*****<br/>
Reno:</p><p>I’d gotten my Cloud back. He was pulled up tight against me while his brother sat shotgun with Tseng in the front. Zack was trying really hard not to ask questions about what had just happened.</p><p>“I have one stop to make.” Tseng said. Seth nodded absently, his rage spent and his mind wandering to the exhausted sleep that awaited him.</p><p>Tseng drove uptown to the Shinra Tower and pulled into the front of the building. </p><p>“Reno, bring Cloud.” Tseng said. I grabbed his hand and pulled him out of the car. He didn’t really fight me. He was still really high and very affectionate, we looked like a couple of newlyweds and I loved every minute of it.</p><p>“It’s going to be like this all the time when you’re mine.” I said and he laughed.</p><p>“Oh no. If he goes, I go.” I heard Seth say.</p><p>“I’m coming, too!” Zack said cheerfully.</p><p>“Fine.” Tseng said and we all piled out and he threw his key to the valet. I could tell he wanted us all to come anyway. </p><p>Inside the place was magnificent. Dark and well appointed. I came here every day to work but it was different then, with lots of people bustling and a mood of stern commerce. </p><p>Tonight there was music and laughter and joy in the air. Something with the party vibe. One of the private restaurants here in the Shinra mall was hosting a party, a big, loud party. It was spilling over into the Atrium, prime target for a good crashing.</p><p>Tseng and I walked in that direction and since Cloud was clenching my hand like it was a lifeline he was following. </p><p>As we got closer, Seth moved more slowly. And then her saw her in the crowd. She was dark in contrast to Seth’s pale beauty. Her skin was honey brown and her hair a soft black cascade. She was truly gorgeous.</p><p>“Abbi.” he whispered and she looked up just then and froze. Her black eyes drank him in like ambrosia and she suddenly moved toward him.</p><p>“Sephiroth!” She called and everyone looked up then. She moved toward him almost at a run and I thought Seth was going to turn and dash out of the building. He looked scared. Seth had never once looked scared in my recollection.</p><p>“Abbi,” He said again and it was a whispered pray. He gave himself a little moment of joy then but you could see him trying to shove it away, to not hope.</p><p>She was on him and threw her arms around him and buried her face in his chest. He stood for a long moment, a statue, unmoving and then grabbed her and kissed her hair.</p><p>I could tell the groom in this party, he looked massively pissed but he seemed to understand it was not worth his life to interrupt.</p><p> Zack and I stood, made a united front against any who might interfere. Cloud stood up, too and looked like he might just beat the shit out of anyone who came near any of us. Tseng had taken a post sitting in the back of a chair nearby. He was watching carefully. </p><p>“I love you.” I heard Seth say. She was crying now, openly.</p><p>“I love you.” She replied. </p><p>“You know we can’t do this.” He said. He was fighting with himself. </p><p>“I don’t care, take me away. Please.” She begged. I felt Cloud grab my hand and figured he knew how she felt. I pulled him close to me.</p><p>“They’ll kill you. I shouldn’t even be here.” He said. He pushed her away.</p><p>“We’ll back your play,” Tseng said and all of us nodded. We were ready to rumble.</p><p>“I am a monster and Shinra owns me. I can’t give you any kind of life. This man your marrying, do you love him?” He asked. </p><p>“Yes, but not like I love you. Please Seth… I don’t care…” She said and he shoved her completely away and turned and quickly left the room. I watched her, she broken, felt Cloud move from beside me.</p><p>*****<br/>
Cloud:</p><p>“I’m Cloud. His brother.” I said. She looked up and threw her arms around me. </p><p>“Make him take me back. Please Cloud.” She whispered in my ear and the man who’d had the wisdom to not interfere with Seth took her out of my arms and glared at me.</p><p>“I wouldn’t. That’s Seth’s brother.” Zack said behind me and I felt Reno leaning close and menacingly.</p><p>“Come on, Abbi.” He said.</p><p>“You’re only borrowing her.” I told him and he turned on me.</p><p>“You and your freak brother need to stay away from my wife.” He spat. I felt Reno move and heard the crackle of his baton and I saw Tseng-ue stand up and reach into his coat.</p><p> “Must suck to know your wife is in love with a man whose a hundred times your better.”  I threw at him. He had nothing to say.</p><p>Outside it was cool. In the distance cars honked and choppers took off. </p><p>I walked over to Seth who was looking at the lights of Midgar.</p><p>“I know how she feels.” I said.</p><p>“You know nothing.” He threw back at me.</p><p>“Really? What don’t I know, Seth. How it feels to have Shinra manipulate you? To have the person you’re madly in love with throw you away and blame it on them? Maybe you can find a girl and shove her in Abbi’s face. Then you and Raph will have something to talk about next time you call him.”</p><p>“Watch your mouth.” He said and turned on me. He was used to people backing down but I didn’t. I stepped into him. </p><p>“You love her. Go get her. She wants you and you could be happy for fucking once.” I said and felt the world spin with the Heylon in my brain.</p><p>“It’s not that simple. I wish it was. We did leave together once. I thought we were clear until I saw the little red light of the laser sight on her temple. They found us and they were going to kill her.”</p><p>“They tried to keep us apart.” I offered. “And here we are, brothers united.”</p><p>“They can’t afford to kill us. Do you know how much money they have invested in us? How many millions of gil? No, Cloud, they can’t afford to kill us yet. But when one of us becomes expendable…”</p><p>“That’ll be me…”  I told him and I was willing to accept that.</p><p>“Will it? The one they have so perfectly trained and controllable? Seriously, Cloud. You are so naive sometimes. You saw a blond boy in Raph’s bed and assumed he replaced you. Really? Raph was just hard up and hired a pro. He asked for one that looked like you. You were right, Ototo. He’s in love with you.”</p><p>I took a step back and looked at him. “What?” I asked.  He nodded. </p><p>“He probably even called him “Cloud.” or is it “Brat” he calls you in the sheets?” Seth ventured.</p><p>“Boy.” I said. “He calls me boy.” I said and felt like I would throw up. He still wanted me. I could still run to him… We could still…</p><p>“He understands Cloud, something you refuse to acknowledge. They will kill him. Just to get you back in line. Poison, a shot to the head. Raph will be harder to kill than Abbi, but he’ll be just as dead. Fuck Reno and be happy. It’s as close to love as you’re ever going to get. Until they take him away from you, too.”</p><p>He got in the car and we all followed. We went back to the hotel and we all got raging drunk and passed out.</p>
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<a name="section0019"><h2>19. chapter 19 Nisan's tears</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Seth mourns. He changes.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The Four Loves of Cloud Strife<br/>Part 2 – Brothers in Arms</p><p>Chapter 19<br/>Nisan’s Tears </p><p>Cloud:</p><p>Three days passed and we were headed back to Wu Tai. The officer’s lounge at the base in Midgar was more like a commercial hub and less like a military airport. There was a bar and soft music. Seth was nothing if not a true hedonist. He wasn’t ostentatious or gaudy but he did like soft pillows, real beds and the occasional spa day.</p><p>I think it’s a Jenova thing. All of her children are effete. My entire childhood I was convinced I was better than everyone. I was a douche. Seth expected things that were the best. Comfort was his due, he was no line grunt, he was an elite killing machine and deserved everything he asked when he asked for it. Everything except Abbi. They drew the line there. Shinra gave us the illusion of being in control of our lives.</p><p>There were TVs in the lounge. Seth ignored them, he felt television was the opiate of the masses or some other intellectual sneer. Zack, though, he was just a guy and he and I were watching some stupid sitcom. It was really dumb and Seth was actually looking up from the book he was reading on his smart pad to give us dirty looks. He sipped his scotch and rolled his eyes.</p><p>“What are you reading over there? Philosophy today?” He asked.</p><p>“Yes, it’s an interesting article entitled “Coping When You’re Surrounded by Tiny Minds”.” he threw back and Zack and I howled with laughter.</p><p>“We interrupt this show with breaking news.”  The News reader suddenly said jarring us out of our banter.</p><p>“Rufus must have farted.” Seth sneered.</p><p>“There’s a scene of panic here at the Shinra Tower, as Security forces and medical teams respond to this tragedy. Even the Turks are out in force.”</p><p>I looked up in time to see Reno and Tseng-ue whispering in front of the Shinra building as they panned the crowd and focused on them.</p><p>“Do they know who the woman was?” The anchor asked.</p><p>“No, but she was wearing a wedding dress. A 60 story fall is, I’m sorry to say, going to make identifying her…”</p><p>Seth stood and walked toward the door. I grabbed my phone and called Reno.</p><p>His phone rang a couple of times and I could see him look at it on TV. He said something to Tseng-ue who nodded. He picked up.</p><p>“Hey babe, I’m kinda busy, I’ll call you tonight…” He said and it made me feel weird. Good but weird like I was his boyfriend and we were more then friends with benefits and like I was important enough for him to stop his whole world and take my call on TV and... but it wasn't about me and I pushed that aside to mull over later.</p><p>“Seth is headed in your direction. We’re still at the airbase and the news was on.” I said.</p><p>“Fuck. Can you control him?” He asked.</p><p>“Is it her?” I returned.</p><p>“If I say yes do I need more Shinras?” He asked.</p><p>“Yes. Yes you do.  I’ll following him and we’re getting in a cab.” </p><p>“Bring Zack.” Reno said.</p><p>“Never leave home without him.”</p><p>*****<br/>Reno:</p><p>Seth got out of the car and the circus got bigger. Press and fan girls ran toward him and I could see him rising up to his full height. He loved it, being the center of fucking attention. I’m surprised he ever left Midgar.</p><p>They all assumed the conquering hero Sephiroth would sweep in and clean up this mess for them, too. That’s what he did. He fixed things so they didn’t have to look at them and they loved him. Until they didn’t.</p><p>Seth was fucking Superman. Genesis was Batman and that’s why Genesis hated him so. Everyone loved Seth, no one knew Genesis existed. Cloud and Angeal were the quiet ones, neither one was ever comfortable with fame. The opposites of their brothers.</p><p>He answered their questions with noncommittal certainty and made them happy. He could work a room and a camera. Then he walked over to Tseng and me.</p><p>“So?” He asked. His voice broke a little, but just a little.</p><p>“She was in Shinra’s office and they were arguing, probably about you. He told her no and apparently before he could stop her she turned and bolted.” I said, though I doubted the story myself.</p><p>“He said he thought she was just distraught and disoriented.” Tseng added to smooth over my bluntness.</p><p>“He pushed her.” Seth said. </p><p>“Of course he didn’t. President Shinra adored her and you know it.” Tseng said. I stepped out of the conversation. I agreed with Seth but Tseng would kill me if I said it. I saw Cloud lurking by the car and walked over to him. I leaned down and gave him a kiss on the cheek.</p><p>“So, think Seth is wound up enough to stay for the funeral?” I asked.</p><p>“Don’t be an ass, he’s in pain.” Cloud said and slipped his arms around my waist. We were funny like that. If we were in proximity we were touching, like to magnets, it wasn't even conscious.</p><p>“Actually, I was being mercenary. That would give me three more days with you.” I said and brushed his hair back out of his face. Cloud pushed past me suddenly and ran to Seth. He seemed to read something in his brother the rest of us missed and put a hand on Seth’s shoulder. I stopped and looked. There was a shudder in him an a faint glow. He was overloading. People like us have panic attacks. People like him pop a fucking wing and march on Midgar.</p><p>“You are floating in an ocean of warm water that gently rocks you back and forth.” Cloud said and Seth visibly relaxed. </p><p>“The sun is shining on me warm and calm. I am weightless and buoyant.” Seth said back.  “They taught you that too, Ototo?” Seth asked.</p><p>“Forgive me, brother, you were about to fall.” Cloud said and bowed very formally. Seth nodded and Cloud wrapped his arms around Seth and pulled him back to the car.</p><p>“Who is that?” A reporter asked me.</p><p>“It’s his brother. Cloud.” I said, not thinking. </p><p>“And your boyfriend?” The reporter asked. I made a non committal noise and pushed past her to meet with Tseng.</p><p>Seth and Cloud got in the car and word that the Great Sephiroth had a brother spread like wild fire and that the brother was dating a Turk. Not the outcome I was hoping for that day.</p><p>*****<br/>Cloud:</p><p>Seth didn’t speak for seven full days. I’m not sure if it was some mourning ritual or if he just had nothing to say. </p><p>I stayed with him. Reno wanted me to come and stay with him but my brother needed me. So he came and stayed with us. I think he told Tseng-ue it was guard duty but we slept together in the guest room.  I took them back to Raph’s apartment and had Reno call him to let him know we’d be there and why. Zack feel in love with the master bedroom. I couldn't have Reno in Raph's bed. I already felt like enough of a shit.</p><p>Seth sat in a straight back chair on the terrace of Raph’s apartment in Midgar. He’d eat when Zack or I brought him food and bathe when we suggested it. But he slept in that chair and stared at the sky. </p><p>I think he was talking to Mother. I think that’s when it started. It’s always when you are the most vulnerable. “My dear son, my perfect creation…” She really turns on the charm and can make you think she cares about you if you aren’t careful. </p><p>It probably doesn’t hurt her cause that we are all entitled little pricks who thing we deserve stuff just because we exist. Even Angeal, who was arguably the best of us.  I was like that as a child. I thought I was better than everyone. Tifa taught me that wasn’t true. She never gave me the attention I thought I deserved and it made me questions my entitlement. </p><p>I’d like to think I’m better and more humble now, but really, I don’t think of myself as human, I know I am faster, stronger, better. I can take more damage. </p><p>Avalanche taught me that those things make it my duty to protect everyone else.  Aerith taught me to love life and everything that lives. Because of her I buy flowers.</p><p>But you’re not here for my rambling, you want the story. The story is Seth sat there and something happened in his head and after that he was different, subtly, vaguely.  Not to me. I was still Ototo. And not so much to Zack. But that is when Seth learned to hate people. </p><p>He started settling his affairs. </p><p> </p><p>Reno:</p><p>Something changed in Seth. I mean, sure, when the love of your life takes a header off the 67th floor, it has a lasting effect. I think she finally realized that she was never going to be with Seth. He wasn’t going to come swinging in on a rope and sweep her away like some romantic pirate. </p><p>She was in her wedding dress, they say, ran out of a fitting, I guess, when she realized he wasn’t coming in for that last minute “Is there any reason these two should not be joined…” moment. He was going to just let her go. Not what happened but what can I prove?</p><p>I got to admit I might have been a little pissed if I thought they’d do the same to me and Cloud, but I had assurances from Tseng that once we were together we’d be together forever. It just wasn’t going to be any time soon and I needed a firm date. I’m impatient.</p><p>So when Seth called me from Inchon I was a little excited. Maybe he was going to give me his brother. I wanted Cloud, he was an awesome toy.</p><p>OK look, I know now that I was no where ready for ownership of a Jenova Clone, but Cloud is really hot and I was thinking with the little head.</p><p>“Can you get me a meeting with President Shinra.” he asked.  It was really weird. First, he should be going through Tseng who had a lot more clout then me. Also, I was kinda sleeping with Rufus on a “Hook up of convenience” basis at the time and the old man wasn’t very happy about that. Also, I told people Seth liked me but really, I was just running my mouth. I had no idea that he actually did.</p><p>“Why not Tseng?” I asked.</p><p>“I have peace offering and I don’t want Tseng to know about it. He’d flip.” Seth said and pulled out a jade orb and showed it to me on the smart pad.</p><p>“What is that?” I asked.</p><p>“It’s a special materia you can only get in Wu Tai and they don’t export it. Tell Shinra if he’ll see me, he can have it.”</p><p>I nodded. “What’s in it for me?” I asked.</p><p>“Cloud will be coming with me to Midgar.” He said.</p><p>“Pimping out your bro, I dig it.” I said.</p><p>“Or I could just not burn down your fucking apartment building. Do you want a weekend with Cloud or not?”</p><p>“Of course I do. Can he get us into Raph’s box at the Gravball tournament?” I asked.</p><p>“Raph has not cut any of Cloud’s access to his stuff. You can even go and fuck in the big tub at his apartment.”</p><p>“You are really generous.” I said. “I’ll call you in half an hour.”</p><p>Of course I went to Tseng. I owed him my gods damned life and anyone who knew me knew who owned me.</p><p>“Can I ask you something?” I said, throwing myself on the couch in the conference room of the Turk floor. He sat, calm and sage behind the desk, signing papers and reading notes.</p><p>“Of course.” He said.</p><p>“What does Jade material do and would you be willing to cut me some slack if I told you that fucking this up for me will cost me a weekend with Cloud?”</p><p>Tseng calmly put down his pen and got up, crossed to me and sat down on the edge of the couch. I was penned in and even with the blur couldn't have escaped him. </p><p>“What about Jade materia?” He asked.</p><p>“What about my weekend with Cloud?” I returned. Tseng had this way of cocking his head in a threatening way. He did just that. “Seth has some he’s going to trade with President Shinra. What’s the deal with this stuff?” I asked.</p><p>“It’s sacred to my people and allows you to summon and control dragons.” </p><p>“Dragons are cool.”  I said. “But look, it seems important to the guy and his girlfriend did just do a flip off the tower. I feel really bad for him.” I offered. Andbefore you ask, no, I didn't give a fuck about Seth. Weekend with Cloud, people, eyes on the prize. </p><p>“I cannot let Shinra have the Jade Materia. He will offend the dragons and we’ll have all kinds of problems.” Tseng announced.</p><p>“Yeah, well, about that. We just steal it back.” I said. He smiled.</p><p>“We do owe Seth a debt. And he must be desperate.” Tseng said.</p><p>“And maybe he’ll off both of them and solve everyone’s problems.” I said. He looked at me and put his finger on his lips. </p><p>“If you don’t want a thing heard, don’t say it.” He said. I nodded. “Go upstairs, tell the secretary you have a message for Shinra from me. Make your offer. And be careful. He dislikes you almost as much as he does Rufus.”  I nodded.</p><p>*****<br/>Cloud:</p><p>We had been in country for a month and in the wake of the imminent peace the fight was escalating. Old feuds between Shinra and Wu Tai regulars were flaring and we saw a lot of really brutal combat. </p><p>“You ok, Ototo?” Zack asked and dropped into the chair next to me.</p><p>“I’m worried about Seth.” I said.</p><p>“Me too. You think he’s going to, you know…” He made a motion with his hands like an explosion.</p><p>“Pop a wing? How should I know? I do know stress is a factor.” I said. I got to admit it had crossed my mind, though.</p><p>“So what can we do?” Zack asked.</p><p>“Humor him? I don’t know, find him something to kill?” I offered. “Usually he’s talking me down.”</p><p>He came in right then and dropped in a chair across from us. “Hey we need to go back to Midgar. Some stuff to do. You can do some work on your own, right?” He said the Zack. He was talking fast and seemed to be driving the conversation.  “And you, Cloud, I’m sending you to Reno’s for a weekend. I need him distracted and out of my hair for a little while. Is that ok? You can see your flower girl.” He said to Zack. </p><p>“Sure, I mean, it seems pretty quiet here and they’re all talking about peace so…” Zack said. Seth cut him off before we could ask questions. </p><p>I shot Zack a questioning look.</p><p>“Great, we have a transport in the morning. Can you take this for me.” He handed me a box. “Put that in your backpack.” He smiled.</p><p>“What it is?” I asked.</p><p>“A rock sample for some of the scientist.” He offered. He got up and then wandered off.</p><p>“OK that was squirrely.” Zack said.</p><p>“Double squirrely. And what do you mean it’s quieting down? I did 46 straight hours in that little blow up in Di Zhing last weekend.” I said and opened the box. There was a ball of Jade. </p><p>“I mean, this is the storm before the calm. Wait, is that?” Zack asked. “No, no no no.” He said and stood. He walked out and I followed him.</p><p>“What?” I asked.</p><p>“That’s Dragon Materia.” He said and facepalmed.  I’d heard of it before but still didn’t believe it. I touched it.  “Don’t do that…”  It was too late, I could feel the dragon that was attached to the materia in my head. I knew it wanted to go. I knew it was kind of the Dragon’s plan.</p><p>“It’s ok.” I said and put the box in my pocket. I dragged him inside and got him super drunk. </p><p>In the morning we cleared inspection and me and the box got on the transport under Seth’s nervous, vigilant eye. I was strangely calm and seemed connected to the Dragon. It was a lot more active in the real world than regular materia.  Even summon materia. You could see little things just working out my way. Luck dragons, go figure. </p><p>It wasn’t creating luck thought, but seemingly re appropriating it. The more things went my way, the more things didn’t go well for others.</p><p>Like, they checked Zack and Seth really closely but hardly went through my stuff. I was relaxed about it too. Of the three of us I was the best liar. Zack was too nice and for all he became a crazed god wanna be, Seth was kind of a rules guy.</p><p>On the plane I handed him his box and smiled. “Piece of cake.” I said and he looked at me apologetically.  “It’s ok, the Dragon chose me to carry him on the plane.” I let him know.</p><p>“You heard him too? Freaking luck dragons.” Seth asked and I nodded. He looked relieved and sat back. “I’m going to fix things, little brother. I’m going to do what I should have done before.” He said.</p><p>“What do you mean?” I asked but he wouldn’t say any more. And that’s when I really started to worry about him.</p><p> </p><p>*****<br/>Reno:</p><p>I walked into Shinra’s office like he didn’t want me dead for fucking his kid. Which is ballsy cos I knew for a fact he did.</p><p>“Hey, boss.” I said. He didn’t look up just sighed. </p><p>“What is it, Sinclair? I’m very busy.”  It pissed me off that he called me Sinclair and he knew it. I hated my shitbag parents and their shitbag name.</p><p>“Seth wanted me to bring you a message, but if you aren’t interested.” I turned like I was going to leave.</p><p>“Can we not do the dramatics? Just tell me.” the President said and looked at me.</p><p>“Seth has some jade materia he wants to trade. I got pictures. He’ll be here tomorrow morning.”</p><p>“Fine, I’ll see Seth on one condition. This weekend is our stockholders weekend so if you could stay away from Rufus…”</p><p>“Consider it done. I’ll have Seth up here first thing.” I said and turned. </p><p>“Sinclair. I know you’re up to something. You’re always up to something. Don’t get Rufus involved.”</p><p>“Furthest thing from my mind, boss.”  I left the room and called Seth. “You’re on for 8 am.”</p><p>“Thanks, Reno. Come and meet us at the airfield and you can have your reward.” Seth turned the phone and showed me Cloud who was sleeping peacefully on his shoulder. “Do you love my brother too?” He asked.</p><p>“I’m a sociopath, remember. But I do enjoy him. And don’t worry. I won’t hurt him, unless he asked me too real nice.” I huge up and checked the itinerary and made plans to collect my favorite toy.</p><p>*****<br/>Cloud</p><p>We landed and I was still groggy when we got off the plane. I sleep well on planes like a baby whose parents drive them around to get them to stop crying.</p><p>Reno was at the foot of the ramp and I hopped down the stairs and into his arms. </p><p>“I got us reservations at that steak place we like so much and figured we could go to the game tomorrow. In Raph’s box. I’m told he won’t be there so…” He said. </p><p>I frowned at Raph’s name. Seth tapped him on the shoulder. “Be good and don’t do anything Reno suggests.” he said and Reno stuck out his tongue at him.</p><p>“Where are you going?” I asked.</p><p>“I have a meeting with Shinra. Then we have a week of vacation so I thought we could do something fun.”</p><p>Zack was already wandering away. “Where’s he going?” I asked.</p><p>Reno shrugged and started to pick me up but I turned the tables and effortlessly threw him over mine.</p><p>“Put me down, asshole.” he said. I carried him back to his car and dropped him on his feet. He leaned over and kissed me. I turned to wish Seth luck but he was gone. I looked over and saw that the reporters weren't following Seth like they always did. They we snapping pictures of US! </p><p>"What the?" I demanded but he pushed me in the car and shut me up with a kiss. </p><p>*****<br/>Seth went directly to Shinra Corp. He got on the elevator, people looking at him in fear and awe, the great Sephiroth was stalking the halls of Shinra corp. He held his head with great dignity and they all knew what was happening, a king was among peasants.</p><p>He entered Shinra’s office without waiting to be let in. The secretaries and guards didn’t challenge him.</p><p>“Sephiroth, to what do I owe this honor?” President Shinra offered.</p><p>“I came to trade something.” He said.</p><p>“Yes, the Dragon Materia.” Shinra said and walked around his desk and took a seat next to Seth. “Can I see it?”</p><p>“In a minute. First it’s going to cost you.” Seth said.</p><p>“I’d pay just about anything for that rock,” Shinra smiled.</p><p>“Then you’ll let my brother and Raph be together.”  Shinra looked up.</p><p>“That’s not possible.” Shinra said and shut down.  Seth shrugged and stood up. He took out the materia and held it to the light.</p><p>“You’re brother cost us a lot of money, so did you.” Shinra said.</p><p>“Any price.” Seth repeated.  “I don’t see the problem. You have more than enough leverage on Cloud and on me. And believe me, keeping him away from the person he loves will just make him…resentful. Speaking from experience.”</p><p>“This is about Abbi. Look no one could have known…” Shinra started.</p><p>“Yes, you could. You suspected and you let it happen. Hell. probably planned it. I know you and I don' t believe that bullshit story for a minute but I can't prove you murdered her so I'm going to wait on whatever happens to you for that. Don't push me, though.” Seth slipped the dragon materia into Masamune.</p><p>“You can’t threaten me, Seth.” Shinra said. </p><p>“I don’t have too.” At that moment the Dragon appeared, white and gold, an Asian dragon with a cheerful face and bright eyes. A luck dragon. “They do have a mind of their own, but I will give you this one and all you have to do is sign the papers that let Cloud and Raph be together. Or… we leave.” He motioned to the Dragon that came and wrapped around him like  scarf an licked his face.</p><p>The dragon leapt into the air again and flew around the room, it seemed to be dancing in the air. Shinra was mesmerized. </p><p>“Fine. I assume you have them drawn up?” He said. Seth pulled them out of his pocket and Shinra signed them.  “There. Can I have my materia now?”</p><p>“Well, yes but you should be aware that these dragons don’t like liars and since you just gave your oath, if you go back on your deal it will turn on you.”</p><p>The dragon flared red and looked like it was on fire for a second. Seth smiled and tossed Shinra the materia.</p><p>Seth walked out of the room happy for the first time in a month. </p><p>*****<br/>Reno:</p><p>I had a whole weekend with Cloud. Rufus and I had plans but Cloud was way more fun. Rufus was pissed fr a month especially after he had a stockholders meeting and I had sex in a gravball box. </p><p>“I wonder where Seth is taking us on vacation.” Cloud asked as he flopped down on the couch. I flopped down on top of him and wrapped my arms around him.</p><p>“Probably the Gold Saucer.” I offered.</p><p>“What makes you think that?” He asked and I saw a little deer in headlights in his eyes.</p><p>“He likes the saucer. He can let his hair down there so to speak. Ride the stupid roller coasters and stuff. Is something wrong with it? I mean it’s hokey and over priced and annoying but…”</p><p>“In the desert.” He offered and grabbed the remote and clicked on the TV. A game show blared out at us.</p><p>“Oh, yeah. Raph.” I said. He nodded.  “Well, maybe you two can sneak off for a dirty weekend. Or maybe hide in his basement.”</p><p>“Would you miss me?” Cloud asked and I stopped. Not a question I wanted to think about. “I’ll miss your box at the stadium. I mean, tomorrow's gonna be great…” He grabbed my chin and made me look him in the eyes…</p><p>“Will you miss me?” He asked again. </p><p>“Yeah, sure. For a while. But you’ll be back and we’ll pick up where we left off. Tseng says you and me got a few places to walk before we’re ready for each other. but you’re mine. You’re my soulmate whatever the hell that means.” I said. I didn't know what it meant but it comforted me.</p><p>I smiled and kissed him. He rolled over next to me and put his head on my chest and we watched stupid stuff on TV.</p><p>It was a great weekend and I have this ability to ignore things I don’t really want to deal with until they bite me in the ass. Cloud was going to the Gold Saucer. There was no way those two were going to be that close together and not, well, be together. And there was no way Raph would share Cloud with me. Would I miss him? Every time I almost thought about it I couldn’t breathe.</p><p>He was going away, to the Gold Saucer and Seth was no idiot, he knew exactly where Cloud was going. I hugged him and he kissed my cheek. I knew it was goodbye for a while. He was going back to Raph. </p><p>Monday morning seemed gray and empty. I took Cloud back to the air field and it wasn't like all the other times I had. There was something final this time. Something... sad.</p><p>My faith in Tseng was unwavering. Don’t get me wrong. I’d seen every prophesy he’d ever made come true. Something happened to him in Saow Seng when he was a kid and it was freaking magic. And I knew he was right about this, too. I knew Cloud would come back to me. He’d be mine. </p><p>Still. It was hard to let go. Was I in love then? Wouldn’t have mattered I was too broken at that point, too much in need of growing up and sorting out to ever admit it. I kissed him back and shoved down whatever I did feel.</p><p>“See you soon.” He said. I nodded and watched him get on the transport. Rude touched my shoulder. </p><p>“We got work to do.” I nodded and that’s what saved me. Rude and the work.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0020"><h2>20. Homeward Bound</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>A good reunion. Better then future reunions.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The Four Loves of Cloud Strife<br/>
Part 2 – Brothers in Arms</p><p>Chapter 20<br/>
Homeward Bound</p><p> </p><p>And liberty she pirouette<br/>
When I think that I am free<br/>
Watched by empty silhouettes<br/>
Who close their eyes but still can see<br/>
No one taught them etiquette<br/>
I will show another me<br/>
Today I don't need a replacement<br/>
I'll tell them what the smile on my face meant<br/>
My heart going boom, boom, boom<br/>
"Hey", I said, "you can keep my things, they've come to take me home" </p><p>Solsbury Hill, Peter Gabriel</p><p>*****<br/>
Cloud:<br/>
“Why the Gold Saucer?” Zack asked as we disembarked from the sky tram. He looked like he’d eaten something that was way too sweet. </p><p>Seth smiled. “The hotel is a haunted house.” He grinned.</p><p>“You are such a child.” Zack said and looked at me.</p><p>I was frowning. It was such a change from my usual light self. I did not want to be here, this close to the thing I wanted most in the world and be forbidden to see him. </p><p>“What the hell is his deal.” Zack asked Seth. Seth shrugged and gave me the eye.</p><p>“Dunno but he better cheer up fast, he’s harshing my mellow.” Seth responded.</p><p>“Harshing your mellow?” I think Zack threw up in his mouth a little when he repeated that. “Hey Cloud, what do you want to do first?” Seth asked.</p><p>“I’m just going to the room. It’s a haunted house, woohoo.” I said, sarcastically.</p><p>“Asshole.” Seth threw at me  “Brother, we are on leave for the first time in a year. We have been in the heaviest fighting in the whole frigging war. It’s been so bad you’ve had trouble getting laid. Seriously…” Seth said.</p><p>“Doesn’t that Raph guy live near here.” Zack asked. </p><p>Seth smiled again and he knew I saw it. I wanted to choke him. He could always count on Zack for an out of the mouths of babes revelation.  I felt like I was being punished for something. I had certainly been enough of an asshole recently to warrant it.</p><p>My face fell. “I’m going to bed.” I whispered and wandered off. </p><p>“What?” Zack asked. </p><p>Seth just shrugged. “Food, I’m starved.” He ordered and they went toward the food court.</p><p>I walked toward the tube marked Hotel. I cursed Seth again and his stupid haunted house. </p><p>*****<br/>
Cloud:<br/>
I walked through the concourse and looked up and saw a series of offices. On one of the doors was a shingle that said “Raph Nevelle, V.P. Intel and Conscription - Shinra corp.”</p><p>My palms began to sweat and I almost turned around. I almost went to find Seth and kick his ass. My brother had planned this and I knew it.  I mean what was he thinking? Shinra was watching me and they might kill Raph or me or both of us.  I shouldn’t be here, I should walk away to my room...</p><p>But I hesitated. A full year and not a tiny bit of the feeling had subsided. I still loved Raph more then I could bare.</p><p>My feet carried me forward, or maybe my heart.</p><p>I put my hand on the door handle and became conscious that my heart was racing. I could feel it in my ears. It was like a parade drum and I was having trouble breathing.</p><p>Impulsively, I pulled open the door.</p><p>“Can I help you?” The secretary asked brightly. She was pretty and pleasant looking. If I didn’t know Raph was ultra gay I’d have been jealous. </p><p>“I… Um…” I stuttered. </p><p>The office smelled like him, like leather and his cologne. I couldn’t think, forming words was a monumental task. I wanted to yell his name and run over and rip open the door. But maybe he thought it was over. I mean, he didn’t know Seth had told me about the boy being a pro and maybe he had really replaced me and then I’d feel like an ass on top of being heart broken.</p><p>“If you have a delivery you can leave it with me.” She said. I couldn’t think, every brain cell in me screamed that I run in a thousand directions.</p><p>“I was. Um, wondering if I could see Ra.. Mr. Nevelle.”  I asked, eyes down and huge with emotion.</p><p>“Do you have an appointment?” She asked and I shook my head. I looked at her under the downcast lids and she was looking at me with something akin to lust. Everybody loves a good sub.</p><p>“Mr. Nevelle is a very important man and very busy.” her patronizing tone was pissing me off. “Maybe if you make an appointment. I have something next week.” She probably thought I was one of his boy. Of course there were probably multiple. He was a handsome, rich man, why wouldn’t boys like me be flinging themselves at him at all hours of the day. But I was the one who loved him, who needed him...</p><p>I wanted to scream “I’m his fucking boyfriend, you cow, tell him I’m here.” but I couldn’t, it choked in my throat and stole my breath.</p><p>“I.  I won’t be here, I’m sorry I bothered you…” My courage broke and I opened the door and left.</p><p>Outside I grabbed my phone. I dialed Zack.</p><p>“Yo kiddo.” Zack said.  His voice made me feel better, stable. I took a deep breath and listened to his rational voice.</p><p>“Want to hang out tonight? I’m going to get settled in the hotel and I can meet you somewhere.” I asked and managed to almost feign calm and happy. He could probably hear that I wasn’t but he pretended it worked and I was thankful for that.</p><p>“Yeah, Seth is riding roller coasters or something.” He said. “It’s so stupid.” He added.</p><p>“OK, see you in an hour.” I said.</p><p>“I’ll come to your room. An hour kiddo.” He said in a comforting adult voice. Ordinarily I bristled at that kind of stuff but right now I needed it. </p><p>I nodded. And hung up. I went to my room and dropped my pack.</p><p>*****<br/>
“Alright Helen, I’m headed home. Nothing pressing I need to attend before I go?” Raph said as he came out of his office. He stopped at his secretary’s desk and gave her a bright smile.</p><p>“No, nothing pressing but there was something weird, though…” His secretary said, and kind of smiled. </p><p>“Do tell, I’m bored to death.” Raph stopped and sat on the edge of her desk.</p><p>“This Shinra showed up today. He asked for you but didn’t have an appointment.” She offered. He could tell there was more from the look on her face. She seemed confused.</p><p>“Did he have a package or something?” Raph asked, frowning as he tried to remember if there was something scheduled.</p><p>“Nope, asked for you by name. First name actually then stopped himself and asked for Mr. Nevelle. It was odd. And he was so shy. Just adorable, I mean probably one of the handsomest men I’ve ever seen. Delicate. Blond with these big, strange blue eyes.”</p><p>Raph froze. He took a breath and then swallowed. She noticed his distress.</p><p>“Spikey hair? Did he have shiny eyes, impossibly? Mako eyes?” </p><p>“Is everything ok? Yeah, very spikey, I thought it was weird, though. Shinra usually can’t afford to be tankers….” She added.</p><p>“What about a name, did he say who he was?” </p><p>“He seemed nervous about even being here, honestly. Like he was having trouble talking. And he kept looking at the ground and biting his lip, it was really sexy, you know?”</p><p>“Yes, I know. Did he say where he was staying?” Raph asked.  He looked like he’d seen a ghost and his eyes were wet with tears.</p><p>“No just asked for you and left when I told him you were busy. He was very polite. You usually don’t get that with the Shinra. Who is this guy?” She asked, concerned for him now.</p><p>“Would you please check all the hotel registries for either Cloud Strife or Sephiroth, last name possibly Hojo?”</p><p>“Cloud? That was Cloud? Your Cloud?” She asked and he nodded. </p><p>“I think so.” he said and rubbed his hands together.</p><p>“Yeah. You let that go?” She said and turned to her computer and typed for a minute. “Yeah, both of them at the haunted mansion, twelfth floor, 1224, 26 and 28…”</p><p>He pushed out the door and ran as fast as he could, leaving her concerned. </p><p>He knew Seth would probably kill him but he decided he didn’t care. He would have Cloud in his arms one last time. That was enough.</p><p>*****<br/>
Cloud:<br/>
I washed my face and brushed my hair. I was clean shaven and wearing some of my civilian clothing, jeans and a crisp white shirt, a light jacket.</p><p>There was a knock on the door.</p><p>“It’s open, Zack!” I yelled and checked my teeth.</p><p>“Who the fuck is Zack?” I heard a familiar English accent. I froze and swallowed hard. I looked in the mirror.</p><p>He was behind me, had cut his hair, short, stylish and my heart hurt. I didn’t think Raph could be any more beautiful but he was. I brushed away a tear.</p><p>Raph turned me around roughly, his face a mask of anger and jealousy.  </p><p>“I asked you a question. Who the fuck is Zack? Are you fucking him?’ There was a real bite there. He was really jealous.</p><p>“No, no Raph. He’s… He’s a friend. He’s my best friend but he’s straight.”</p><p>Raph brought his hands off me shoulders and nodded. The jealousy slipped away and was replaced with the same sad, empty look I’d had for the past year.</p><p>There was a silence between us and then we both spoke at once.</p><p>“I’ve missed you.” We both looked away.</p><p>“How’ve you been?” Raph asked.</p><p>“Fine.” I sighed.  “You?  Anything interesting, or anyone?” </p><p>“No Cloud. That boy, he was…” I cut him off.</p><p>“A pro, Seth told me.” </p><p>“Turns out you’re a tough act to follow. Maybe I didn’t have access to half of the woman in Wu Tai, though.” He said, a little angry.</p><p>“Were you watching me?” I asked, a little annoyed. He didn’t want me but he was keeping tabs?</p><p>“I got reports. From Reno. I wanted to make sure you were ok. And clearly you were. Didn’t need me.”</p><p>“You don’t get it, do you? You dumped me. You were a tough act to follow, too. I just auditioned more. Trying to feel something.” I confessed and stepped past him into the hotel room.</p><p>“I’m sorry. It wasn’t my idea. It was what was best for you.” Raph offered halfheartedly. </p><p>“Didn’t I get any input in that. Fuck Raph, I’m still in love with you. Hopelessly. My life is a series of one night stands hoping to find a fraction of what you gave…”</p><p>I was cut off with a kiss. Raph dragged me close and kissed me with a passion and intensity I had never felt. I threw myself into that kiss and Raph wheeled me around and slammed me into the wall, knocking down a picture and breaking the frame. He pushed himself against me and pinned me to the wall, running his hands through the spikey hair and biting my lip. He grabbed my hands and pinned them over my head.</p><p>I became lost in that kiss, forgot the world. And didn’t hear the knock on the door.</p><p>*****<br/>
Zack knocked but got no answer. He listened to make sure I was ok and heard the sound of a scuffle. Broken glass, me moaning.</p><p>He kicked the door open and saw me being attacked by some man. He grabbed the offender and raised his hand to punch the hell out of him.</p><p>I grabbed his arm and put myself between him and Raph.</p><p>“Dude, no, it’s not what you think.”  I said.  Zack looked at me. </p><p>“What is it then?” He asked. He seemed kind of angry with me.</p><p>I sighed and tried to figure out how to explain this.  I didn’t know how Zack would take it.   “Um Zack Fair, this is my… my ex.. My …”</p><p>“Partner.” Raph said and looked deeply in my eyes and smiled.</p><p>“Partner? Oh. you’re the famous Raph he’s been pining after.” Zack repeated and looked at me.</p><p>“I’m Raph, yes. He talks about me?” Raph asked.</p><p>“In his sleep. Man, would you two just get married or whatever already? I don’t want this to end like Seth and Abbi.” Zack offered.</p><p>Raph looked at me. “Shinra doesn’t approve of this.”  He wrapped his arms around me and held me tight. It felt so good and I wrapped my arms back around him and held him tight.</p><p>“Seth is up to something. He met with President Shinra last week and I think he traded him a dragon materia for something. Then he brought us here. I think he’s trying to get permission for you guys…”</p><p>“And Tseng let him sell a dragon Materia?” Raph asked incredulously.</p><p>“Maybe Tseng doesn’t know.”Zack offered.</p><p>“Don’t fool yourself. There isn’t a silent fart in that building Tseng doesn’t know about. In Shinra at large. No he’s up to something, too. Probably that damned prophesy of his.”</p><p>“What prophesy? I keep hearing about it but no one will explain.” I asked and put my head on his shoulder.</p><p>“When he was a child his father was a monk or something and they drank mako and had visions. Tseng heard the Earth say champions were coming to save her and that he would be their keeper. He thinks you and this flower girl of his and Reno and a few of the others are those champions…” Raph offered.</p><p>“Has he met Reno?” Zack asked sarcastically. Raph laughed. </p><p>“OK, you can stay. I like you.” Raph said and patted Zack’s shoulder. “In fact, you should all come and stay at the house. There’s plenty of room and Seth can come back for his foolishness from there. It’s better than this dump.”</p><p>“I’ll ask him but he seems really in love with the dump. And let me thank you for calling him Seth. It warms my heart. I’m in though. If it’s as nice as the apartment...” Zack said.</p><p>“The apartment is kind of a dump compared to the house. There’s a pool, and a gym and a sauna. It’s a mile from the base, too.” I offered. </p><p>“I’ll talk him into it.” Zack offered. “I’ll be back in a half hour. Be finished and dressed by then.”  He turned and left my room.</p><p>“Half hour?” Raph said. “Barely time to get your clothes off.”  He leaned over and kissed me. I pushed him back.</p><p>“Wait, I need to tell you something.” I said. I knew I couldn’t live with myself if I didn’t tell him. “I… cheated on you.” I said.</p><p>“Yes dear, Reno told me…” He said.</p><p>“No, not the girls. They didn’t mean anything. The girls were just kind of a passtime. They meant nothing I don’t even remember most of their names. They didn’t care about me and I didn’t care about them.  No, I mean with Reno. We, um… We’ve kind of been seeing each other. He says I’m going to be his some day. He and I are soulmates. It’s the prophesy.”</p><p>Raph thought about it for a moment. “And you have feelings for him?” He asked.</p><p>“He’s my best friend. I mean, I don’t feel the same about him as I do you, but… he makes it hurt less.” I said.</p><p>“Do you want to be with him or me?” He asked. He looked grave, like he was bracing for something.</p><p>“You. Of course, you. Do you have to ask?” I threw myself around him. “If you’ll forgive me and have me back.”</p><p>“Love, I broke up with you. You dated someone else, it was a year. Now we can let things go. I mean, we don’t even know if Shinra’s going to kill us both tomorrow.”</p><p>“I love you.” I whispered. He kissed my forehead. </p><p>“Pack up and we’ll go home.” he said. I shoved my things back in my pack and followed him to the lobby.</p><p> </p><p>*****<br/>
Reno:</p><p>I had to open my big mouth. I mean, I’m usually very rational and lazy and never volunteer for shit but when Cloud gets around me I stop thinking with the good head and start thinking with the bad one. And since it was my clever fucking idea…</p><p>I was thankful it was summer because the air conditioning was on and the fucking vent I was crawling through to Shinra’s office was breezy and cool. In December I’d have been burning my hands on the aluminum floor.</p><p>Rude was behind me. I heard him breathe out really hard.</p><p>“One more complaint about the view back there.” I muttered.</p><p>“I’m just saying a spin class wouldn’t kill you.” he said and I farted.</p><p>“I was going to hold that in….” I offered. “But you got to be a jerk.”</p><p>“Dude, my mouth was open. Fuck, Reno, eat a gods damned vegetable.”</p><p>I laughed a little. “Next time bring a recruit.” Rude groused and fanned his face to get rid of the smell.</p><p>“Do you have the map?” I asked when we came to a t-juncture.</p><p>“Left,” he announced.</p><p>“Did you look?” I asked</p><p>“I don’ t need to. Left.” He insisted.</p><p>“So what, you’re a gods damned expert? I mean, seriously? Is this your neighborhood? Do you read schematics for fun?”</p><p>“For your information, I am an expert at dead reckoning. I know where we are in time and space.”</p><p>I reached back and grabbed the map and looked it it with my little flashlight. </p><p>“Well?” He asked after a second.</p><p>“Well, Mr. trailblazer, fine. We’ll go left.” And we did. A moment later I was popping the vent over in Shinra’s office.</p><p>“I cannot believe you got me into this. Over a piece of ass.” Rude was muttering.</p><p>“Not a piece of ass. A piece of Cloud’s ass.” I corrected. “Far better.”</p><p>“You should just marry the guy already.” He said.</p><p>“Not time yet, besides he’s back with Raph.” I offered.</p><p>“So, we’re doing all this and you ain’t even gonna get laid?” Rude said.</p><p>“Not the point, though I am touched at how far you will stoop to get me laid.” I said and felt him shove me forward. I tumbled ass over head to the floor and lay there laughing. With great dignity, Rude was always dignified, he climbed down.</p><p>“OK, where is it?” He asked.</p><p>“I dunno.” I shrugged and thought he might hit me. Then we heard the giggle. Yes, a giggle. I looked in that direction and there it was, a fucking dragon.</p><p>It was white with red eyes and gold all over it. It danced through the air playfully and it was infectious, I couldn’t believe how happy it made me watching it, so free and innocent and it came over and spun and wheeled around us, digging in out pockets for candy bars which it stole and rustling my hair. </p><p>“It’s time to go.” Rude said and it looked a little sad. It cartwheeled through the air one more time and then landed on a box and looked at us expectantly. </p><p>“In here?” I asked and reached over, grabbed the lid of the box…</p><p>“Don’t! No! Stop!” Rude said but it was too late and as soon as the box opened the alarm went off. </p><p>“Fuck.” I said and he smacked the back of my head. “Yeah, yeah, Let’s go.” </p><p>We could hear the guards outside moving toward us. The door was closed but there was no way we’d get to the vent and get out. </p><p>“We are boned.” Rude said, but at that moment the dragon came over. I grabbed the materia and it felt warm.</p><p>“Wish.” I heard in my head.</p><p>“I wish we could get out of here and not get caught.” There was a rushing sound and next thing I knew, Rude and I were on the train headed to Sector four. </p><p>“What the fuck?” Rude asked. </p><p>A little white dog came over to him, tiny, like a teacup shizhu and clamored on his leg. He picked it up. It had red eyes and little gold flecks in it. It licked his face.</p><p>“OK, that’s too fucking cute. Let’s take it to the Wall market and give it to Tseng.” I said. </p><p>I wondered if I had another wish. I wondered if it would be fair to anyone to wish for Cloud to be mine right now. </p><p>I took a deep breath. Eventually. Why mess with the cosmic order?</p><p>*****<br/>
Cloud</p><p>I stood in the living room of our house. I never through I’d be here again but I was. There was the couch we watched movies on and made love on. And the kitchen we made love in and the stairs… you get the idea.</p><p>I clung to him a he pulled me into the house, a cool oasis in a hot, dry desert. Seth came in and looked around and Zack made a bee line for the pool. </p><p>“Yes!  This is a vacation!” He yelled. “This! Not skeeball and giant costumed monsters. Swimming pools. Drinks… Can we get some girls?”</p><p>“I can order you some if you like.” Raph said with a smile.</p><p>“I can’t tell if you’re joking or not. I’m going to go put on my suit and swim, is that ok?”</p><p>“Mi Casa ie Su casa.” Raph said and Zack dashed off.</p><p>“So, Seth, will you be going back to the saucer?” Raph asked.</p><p>“Yes, after you and I talk. I’ll take you up on the room, though. I remember you have excellent mattresses.” He looked at me and I could tell I needed to leave the room.</p><p>“Go upstairs and get in bed. I expect you to be ready for me when I get there.” He whispered.</p><p>“Yes, Daddy.” I whispered back and went up the stairs. I waited at the top though, so I could hear them.</p><p>“Are you going to kill me now?” Raph asked.</p><p>“No. You probably know I talked with Shinra. I bound him to his word that you two will be allowed to live together unmolested. Well, you’ll be unmolested. I can see you can’t wait to molest my brother.”</p><p>Raph laughed at that. “Zack said I should marry him? Do you think I should? I would rather like to.”</p><p>“Yes, but wait, give him time to figure himself out. And Raph…”</p><p>“Is this the threat?” Raph asked non-chalantly.</p><p>“Yes. Do not hurt him. I mean it. He’s been inconsolable. I’m willing to forgive what you did to me...” </p><p>“I am sorry. I was a different person.” Raph said.</p><p>“Does he know about Genesis?” Seth asked.  </p><p>“Well, he probably does now.” Raph sighed.</p><p>“Oh, yes, of course he’s listening. Go away!” Seth yelled and I had no choice. I went into the bedroom and undressed, got into bed. I laid there waiting for my lover in our soft bed.</p><p>A few minutes later he came in and walked to me unbuttoning his shirt.</p><p>“What about Genesis.” I asked.</p><p>“I’ll tell you later.”  He leaned over and kissed me and it was so sweet, so passionate I think my heart stopped. I reached over and pushed off his Shirt, pulled off the tee-shirt.</p><p>“My secretary said you’re the sexiest man she ever saw.” he whispered in my ear as he kissed my neck and pushed off his shoes. He moved next to me in bed and ran his hand over my whole body.</p><p>“You just lie back. I‘m going to have my way with you.” He said and I shivered and he kissed all the way down my chest and took my erection in his mouth and expertly sucked at it until I moaned loudly. </p><p>He moved his mouth back to mine and kissed me.</p><p>“Sh! You don’t want your brother to hear us, do you?” He said and smiled.</p><p>“No, daddy.” I agreed. He kissed me then and stood up, took off his pants.</p><p>He was fully aroused and I leapt up and threw myself against him, grabbed his member and stroked it. He moaned and pulled my face up.</p><p>“Someone is anxious.” He said and his smile melted me. </p><p>“I love you so much.” I said. He wrapped his arms around me and kissed me deeply, romantically ad I sighed.</p><p>“Lie back.” He whispered and pushed my legs in the air. I felt his finger enter me and cooed, he kissed me t make me quiet. I felt the second finger and then the third and made a loud noise. </p><p>He grinned. “My little Saytr. I’ve missed you so.” He said.</p><p>“Did you say that to the other boys?” I asked.</p><p>“I called them Cloud.” He replied and I felt his swollen cock replace the fingers. It was wonderful. I pulled him close and called his name and pulled him into me deeper and deeper with my legs. We came together and lay there, breathing hard.</p><p>“I love you, Raph. I love you so much.” I said.</p><p>“Not half as much as I love you.” He replied. I snuggled into his chest and passed into a dreamless sleep.</p><p>*****</p><p>Reno:</p><p>I learned something. Dragons are pains in the ass. At least this one was. </p><p>She, I managed to figure out it was a she, was into everything. I mean, you want to be low key in the market and it’s kinda hard with a 26 foot white dragon dancing over your head, sniffing food at the vendors and then eating it and handing out wishes like they were candy. </p><p>Seriously, one guy wished he had a better job and bam! he was a new Shinra Exec. A woman wished she could find her lost kid and Boom! he dropped out of the air. After about the fifth one I said, sarcastically.</p><p>“I wish you would stop attracting so much attention.” </p><p>The dragon then turned into a very beautiful girl of about 16. I mean gorgeous. So less but not none.</p><p>As we walked past the hand massage parlor, yeah, that’s what that old whore massages, M actually came out and looked at her. I understood what covetous meant when I saw her face. Knowing how much I hate her… have always hated her she had the stones to come over to us.  </p><p>“Who is this, Reno?” She asked breathlessly.</p><p>“A friend of Tseng’s so if you value your tits, you better step away.” I snarled back.</p><p>And then this friggin’ dragon walks over and introduces herself to M. </p><p>“Hello, I’m Negai! I’m a Dr…”  I shoved my hand over her mouth and lifted her up. She bit me. Hard.</p><p>“See she wants to talk to me.” M said and curled over to us like a snake.</p><p>“She doesn’t know you kidnap girls and sell em for sex slaves in WuTai.” I said.</p><p>Before M could speak, Negai reared up to her full height, and I mean 26 feet and snorted fire.</p><p>Not that the cat was ever in the bag but fuck. We were inches from making the evening news and Shinra was going to have me raped to death on TV to make an example. </p><p>“I wish everyone would think you were just a girl and we would get you to Tseng without incident.” I heard behind me and I turned around and there was Rude, good old Rude.</p><p>M looked at her again. “Hum, just a girl. Not even a very cute one.”  She flipped her fan and turned on her heel and stalked away.</p><p>“I love you, man.” I said.</p><p>“You owe me. Man.” He replied. We took her to the Bar.</p><p>Tseng was sitting in the corner, in his usual spot. He looked at us.</p><p>“I take it things went smoothly?” He said and looked up from his drink. She saw him and turned back into the girl and flung herself at him.</p><p>“Tseng!  I’m here!” She said.  He smiled calmly as she threw her arms around his neck.</p><p>“Negai helped.” Rude said.</p><p>“I bet she did. I thank you for returning her to me.” He said. She sat next to him and sniffed his drink, his coat and his hair.</p><p>“She doesn’t get out much, does she?” I said.</p><p>“You don’t know the half of it. I have a reward for you, Reno.” He said.</p><p>“Yeah?” I smiled.</p><p>“You’re being assigned to the Inchon delegation during the peace talks.”  I heard Rude snicker.</p><p>“How is that a fucking reward? I hate Inchon. I hate the weather, the people, it’s a friggin’ war zone.”  I whined.</p><p>“It was a special request from on of our V P s.” He said and smile.</p><p>I knew which one. And I knew why. Or at least I thought I did. Fucking Raph Nevelle.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0021"><h2>21. Genesis and Revelation</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Lovers lost and found</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The Four Loves of Cloud Strife<br/>Part 2 – Brothers in Arms</p>
<p>Chapter 21<br/>Genesis and Revelation</p>
<p>I hear you weep so far from me<br/>I taste your tears like you're next to me<br/>And I know<br/>My weak prayers are not enough to heal<br/>Oh the ancient wounds so deep and so dear<br/>The revelation is of hatred and fear</p>
<p>You know our sacred dream won't fail<br/>The sanctuary tender and so frail<br/>The sacrament of love<br/>The sacrament of warmth is true<br/>The sacrament is you</p>
<p>The Sacrament, HIM</p>
<p>Cloud:</p>
<p>I was lying by the pool and Zack was trying to perfect his cannon ball. Zack, Raph said, was continuing to enjoy his childhood.</p>
<p>“Watch, are you watching?” He called and I heard his feet padding on the ground and then the Hup! Of his leap and then the splash of his cannonball. “Did you see it?” He yelled.</p>
<p>“Yup,” Seth and I both lied.</p>
<p>“We have to go back tomorrow. We’ll be in Inchon. They made the agreement and we need to represent the military at the official signing. As usual I want you to stay off camera as much as possible and don’t call attention to yourself. Andy is still out there.” Seth said to me.</p>
<p>“Yup.” I said to him and he sat up and looked at me.</p>
<p>“Are you listening to me?” He asked.</p>
<p>“Yup.” I said and he sighed. </p>
<p>“Both of you suck.” He told me.</p>
<p>“Can you see me? Watch! This will be the best one. I think I figured it out. It’s about the torque!”</p>
<p>“Would you watch him?” Seth demanded. “He’s driving me insane.”</p>
<p>“Cloud, can I see you, darling.” Raph called right then.</p>
<p>“OOO, I’d love to but my partner needs me. Hey Zack! Seth has some tips for you so you can really improve, you know like a coach.”</p>
<p>“You’re death will be legendary.” Seth hissed at me.</p>
<p>“Seth, Seth! Check this out!” Zack called. I stood and followed Raph into the living room.</p>
<p>It was cool and dark and he had a one of those fancy cold plates out and glasses of wine for all of us. He sat on the couch and pulled me into his lap as I grabbed a glass of wine and some cheese.</p>
<p>“What is this?” I asked as I bit into it.</p>
<p>“Camembert, They make it in a town near my hometown.”</p>
<p>“It’s good.” I kissed him and leaned back into his lap.</p>
<p>“I’ve been thinking about you going back to work.” He said.</p>
<p>“Me too. Would you mind if I mustered out. I mean, I come up for it in 6 months. I could be a kept man.” I smiled and kissed him.</p>
<p>“You’d give up your dream of being a soldier for me?” He asked. I frowned.</p>
<p>“I want to be a soldier, but I want to be with you, too. I mean, six months til I can see you again. And going forward it’s going to be like that. I want to be with you.” I said.</p>
<p>“No love. You will not give up your life’s dream for me. Besides, it’s kind of hot having a Soldier for a lover.” He said.</p>
<p>“You do seem to have a fetish for us.” I tossed out casually. He’d been avoiding the subject of Genesis since I found out there was something between them. </p>
<p>“Alright, you hear me out and I’ll tell you about your brother. Will that make you less bitchy?” He asked and wrapped me up in his arms.</p>
<p>“Sure. What you got?” I asked.</p>
<p>“While we are apart, you and I are going to have… needs. I don’t see any need for you and I to be childish. You know my pros mean nothing to me. And I know Reno won’t interfere with our relationship. So I’m giving you permission to take him as a lover while you’re in Inchon. You will continue to be mine, do you understand that? He is only borrowing you.”</p>
<p>I was to stunned to speak. When my voice finally returned I looked at him. “Are you trying to get rid of me?” I asked.</p>
<p>“No love, I know you well enough to know you will give up your career for me and then be miserable. You love what you do, you’ve said so yourself and I need to know someone I can trust is taking care of you, and who understand the glitch.” </p>
<p>“Reno? I thought you hated Reno.”</p>
<p>“No, I hated that I thought he was trying to steal you away from me. But I understand now. I talked to Tseng.”</p>
<p>“And he told you about the prophecy. What does it say?” I asked, desperate to know.</p>
<p>“That you and I will be together forever and that you will save the world. It’s important that you chase your dream and become a Soldier. You’re going to look so handsome in that uniform.” He said. </p>
<p>“Am I going to lose you?” I asked.</p>
<p>“Never. We are forever. Just remember you belong to me.” He said and I smiled and kissed him.</p>
<p>“I belong to you.” I said and he kissed me.</p>
<p>“Good, I had your uniforms cleaned and pressed and they are in the appropriate rooms. What would you like for dinner. Sky’s the limit. Remember in a few days it back on Shinrations.”</p>
<p>“Ooo. I’m going to go with Panic!burgers.” I said.</p>
<p>“Gods help us all. I’ll ask Seth.” He pushed me over on the couch and got up. I got Panic!burgers that night. Everyone else had steaks.</p>
<p>***** <br/>Reno:</p>
<p>Fucking transport to fucking Inchon. I had a small pack of stuff, some clothes, some porn and a riding crop. It was hot and I was sitting between to guys who’d apparently never heard of deodorant.</p>
<p>The good thing was Rude was with me. Misery loves company. We landed in Nibelheim to refuel at the  reactor. It would take a day.</p>
<p>It just got better and better. </p>
<p>So, me and Rude went to the “City”.  Nibelheim was more like a village. Not a picturesque village. No, a medieval plague village. </p>
<p>We got a room in the tavern and I ordered an ale and stew. </p>
<p>“Would you stop being nasty?” Rude hissed at me. And they brought me a friggin’ ale in like a mug. “I stand corrected.” He muttered as I drank the beer.</p>
<p>Just then, our lives changed forever. I did not realize the ramifications of what happened next and if I had I’d have rammed that prophecy so far up Tseng’s ass he’d a time traveled.</p>
<p>She walked in wearing her little cowboy suit. She was clearly way to old for it.</p>
<p>“Is that… some kind of Fetish?” I asked and looked at Rude. He looked like he’d stuck his tongue on a bug zapper.</p>
<p>“Hello.” he said. Now, the thing you have to know about Rude is he never looses his shit. I’ve seen him walk through a burning building like it was a museum. He has godlike poker face. </p>
<p>His tongue was on the floor.  </p>
<p>“Maybe you should just hump her leg.” I said.  He shook his head and got his cool back. He got up and walked toward her.</p>
<p>“Jailbait, dude.” I called after him. He wheeled on me. </p>
<p>“I will killed you. Besides, she’s the same age as your jailbait.” He threatened and I laughed. He walked toward her again. She was sitting on a barstool drinking soda or something. He moved up beside her and leaned on the bar all cool.</p>
<p>“I’m Rude.” He said.</p>
<p>“Yes, you are.” she responded. I laughed and he shot me a look that could freeze amonia.</p>
<p>“No, it’s my name.” He said, trying to regain his cool. </p>
<p>“Oh, I’m Tifa. What are you to doing here? You don’t look like regular Shinras.” She said and grabbed some bar mix. I wondered for a minute if she realized she had him completely wrapped. She sure was playing it like she did.</p>
<p>“We’re Turks.” He said. That was his best line. Girls usually just surrendered their underwear with that line.</p>
<p>“Oh, what’s a Turk?” She asked and I laughed out loud again. He flashed me a vicious look and I made a bomb gesture with my hands. “Boom!” I said. I thought he was going to kill me.</p>
<p>“We do special ops for the Shinra. Report to the President himself. We’re going to Inchon right now to protect the diplomats with the Soldiers at the peace talks.” And she did look impressed. Her face animated and she turned to him.</p>
<p>“You know the Soldiers?” She asked.</p>
<p>Rude flushed with pride. “I do. My friend over there dates one of them.” He pointed at me and I waved.</p>
<p>“Do you know my friend Cloud? He left here to become a Soldier.” She said then and his face fell. Mine did too. My Cloud. Back off, sister.</p>
<p>“Strife? You know Strife?” He said.  She nodded and popped more bar mix in her mouth. </p>
<p>“You know Cloud? Is he OK? Will we see him soon? Is he going to be at the peace talks? Would you ask him to call me, I miss him.” She said. Again I got a dirty look but this time I didn’t laugh. I didn’t know who she was but Cloud was mine. I hated her. Rude’s look kept me in place through, so I didn’t kill her then. I’ve regretted it ever since.</p>
<p>“Of course I know Cloud. And his brother, too.”  She looked confused then. “Never mind. Can I buy you dinner?” He asked and she nodded. Good old Rude. More than willing to use a friend to get in some broad’s pants.</p>
<p>Except. He didn’t. He bought her dinner, walked her home and sent her flowers the next day. See, Rude was in love by then.</p>
<p>*****</p>
<p>About Genesis.</p>
<p>Raph held me for a long time.  I could feel that he was reaching into something dark and sad and so I gave him time.</p>
<p>“I volunteered for the Beta Program. I wasn’t really sure what it was all about, except that doing it would increase my ability to rise in the company. I was what they called hungry and I wanted to become a Vice President. I would have done anything. I had to prove myself. You can empathize I’m sure.” He began. I nodded but didn’t speak. </p>
<p>“We got there and it was like a boot camp. I was young and spry like you and so I was excited. We tested and were broken into groups. I was in group B.  Then it started. We were given injections that made us sick and started drinking those awful shakes you drink. We all got really sick. Some of us sicker than others and those were taken away and we never heard about them again.” He looked away for a minute and seemed lost in revelry.</p>
<p>“A hand full of us, though, we all were given more tests and apparently they were happy with us. And I noticed things, I was faster, could run longer and think more clearly.” Raph took a sip of scotch and continued. </p>
<p>“As soon as we got over our initial illness we were assigned trainers. I was given to Genesis. He was quite handsome. Red hair, you and he have the same eyes, the same color and shape. The moment I laid eyes on you I knew you were brothers. You smell like him, too.” He looked at me then, smiled sadly and kissed my neck.</p>
<p>“I love you for you, though. You are similar in some ways but different in many as well. Genesis was very much an Alpha. It was his way or the highway. He put me through my paces and insisted on excellence in all things. I thought he hated me, he made me do the same move, the same problem over and over.” he reminisced.</p>
<p>“One day, about three months into my training I had enough.”</p>
<p>“What the fuck is your problem with me?” I demanded and I figured something awful would happen to me, but he smiled. Laughed.” Raph smiled at the recollection.</p>
<p>“I was wondering when you’d stand up for yourself.” He said. I’d never seen him smile before. Like you. You aren’t a smiler, either.” He looked at me and touched the curve of my jaw.</p>
<p>“Well, I… You’re kind of an ass.” I told him. “I mean if you hate me so much, why don’t you trade me for someone else?” Raph said.</p>
<p>“Hate you? I find you… fascinating.” Genesis said. He walked over and put his arms around my shoulders.</p>
<p>“I, what?” I said and Genesis leaned over and kissed me. I kissed him back before I even realized what was going on. “Then why are you such a prick.” I asked and Genesis grinned again.</p>
<p>“Whose the best recruit here? Whose number one on the boards?” he asked. I was. I was because he had kicked his ass. “Now, can we talk about this sexual tension between us?” he asked and pulled me close and put his hand over my manhood.”  </p>
<p>They made love there for the first time in the training room. He overwhelmed Raph. Raph was barely conscious of the thing. By the time it was over he was completely in love with my brother and they were a couple. </p>
<p>From that moment forward they were inseparable. He had Raph assigned as his assistant and had his barrack moved next to Genesis. Raph thought my brothers knew. Angeal certainly. There was something creepy about him even for the boys. All of us had this mystical quality that could make your back arch, Raph said.</p>
<p>“Me too?” I asked. Raph looked at me. He kissed me. </p>
<p>“Not often, but yes. Sometimes you get that far away look in your eyes.”</p>
<p>“I’m telling Mother I don’t want to talk to her.”  I could tell he wanted to pursue that conversation but decided to stick to the story of my brother.</p>
<p>“Seth suspected but probably didn’t care. He had his own life to deal with. I think that’s where Genesis hatred of your brother began. I think that’s why Seth is so protective of you. He did love his brothers but he was young and ambitious. I can empathize.” Raph looked wistful.</p>
<p>“I loved him, Cloud. I cannot tell you how much I loved him and so when he began pulling away it broke me. I didn’t know he was breaking down. I didn’t understand the instability. I don’t think they did, either. The last thing he said to me was “I need you to go because I love you.” Raph’s tone became desperate, broken and I wanted to make it better somehow. I wanted to beat my brother for hurting him.</p>
<p>“I didn’t understand but Angeal grabbed me and we took off flying and he put me down in Midgar.” The terror was still there. Fear of my brothers. Fear of that future.</p>
<p>“I watched his fall on Midgar news. They didn’t know him. They just knew the unstable Genesis. And Seth, and that gods damned poem they are all on about…” I could tell the tale was winding down.</p>
<p>“What Poem?” I asked.</p>
<p>“Maybe it’s a worm that makes you all unstable.” He said and I snuggled him closer.</p>
<p>“They messed up my brain. I doubt things that affected the others will bother me.” I said. He kissed the top of my head and pushed me over on the bed. He got up and brought me a book a slim volume. On the cover it said “Loveless”. I read it over and over again and memorize it. I think that scared him. </p>
<p>It did make my brain feel weird, reading it. A pleasant feeling. But other than that, I thought my brothers were just nuts. It was just a poem.  I had a prophecy to find out about.</p>
<p>“I want to tell you something. I might lose you over it.” I told him.  He looked at me.</p>
<p>“I will never stop loving you. No matter what.”</p>
<p>“This isn’t what you think, Raph. It’s not a confession. It’s something I know but they haven’t told you. Genesis isn’t dead.” I said. </p>
<p>His mouth dropped open. I loved him and I didn’t want to lose him. But I loved him and I wanted him to be happy. Even if it meant I wasn’t happy.</p>
<p>“What do you mean?” he asked.</p>
<p>“If he was dead, I’d know. I can feel Seth and Angeal and I can feel Genesis. They aren’t dead. Seth is climbing the rock behind the house. I can feel him moving. Angeal is in his chair. He’s uncomfortable but it will be a while before the attendant moves him so he’s resigned to it. Genesis. I can’t tell you where he is it’s like… he isn’t thinking. He might be in the lifestream. Or in a coma. Of some other weird Jenova shit. But know that if he were dead I know it. And he isn’t.”</p>
<p>Raph was pale and I walked to him and hugged him. “I love you, boy.” he said.</p>
<p>“I love you, too. And I understand if you go look for him.” I said. He kissed me then and we made love.</p>
<p>The next day we all left for Inchon.</p>
<p>*****<br/>Reno:</p>
<p>I was pissed. I mean, you stop an international incident with fucking Dragons and your reward is being sent to a Gods forsaken…  OK it’s not that bad but they don’t have the shit I’m used to. I am a shitty tourist. A promotion would have been nice or a little pay raise, but this?</p>
<p>I got out of the chopper, at least I had a chopper, and I walked to the quartermaster who gave me my room assignment.</p>
<p>I walked up and heard someone else in the room. “Great!” I said and jerked open the door to give whoever it was a piece of my mind. Someone was laying in the bed with head phones on. In their underwear. </p>
<p>“Who the hell!?”, he sat up and I literally dropped my pack. It was Cloud! “What the???”</p>
<p>He smiled at me and reached for me. I jumped on the bed and threw my arms around him.</p>
<p>“You left the door open.” he said. I kissed him.</p>
<p>“Well, let’s put on a show.” I said and kissed him, pushed him back on the bed.</p>
<p>“Door!” he said and laughed. I got up and closed the door and locked it. I wasn’t sure what was going on. This was a couple’s rooms. These’s were hard to come by and reserved for officer’s and spouses.</p>
<p>“So what tha fuck?” I asked.</p>
<p>“Raph wants you to baby sit me. He says, “You have need, Cloud and I have needs and I trust Reno to not interfere with our relationship.” I mimicked Raph.</p>
<p>“Sucker.” I said and kissed him.</p>
<p>“You don’t mind being a babysitter?” He asked. </p>
<p>“Oh, baby, I’m going to sit the fuck out of you.” I said. I pushed him back on the bed and probed his throat with my tongue. It suddenly dawned on me what my reward was. He was mine, at least for a little while. </p>
<p>“Did you bring any rope?” He asked me.</p>
<p>“No but I do have hand cuffs.” I got up and dug around in my pack and pulled out the cuffs. I kicked off my shoes and climbed on the bed. “Hands,” I said and he held them out in front of him. I shook my head and flipped him over; he put his hands obediently behind his back.</p>
<p>You have to understand. Cloud was a Mark 4. He was a top of the line ride. That’s what Angels are, the most sought after submissives on the market. Mara trained throughbreds. And I had one on loan to do with as I please. It would be much later in our relationship that he would beat the fuck out of me for talking about him in such terms. But for now, I had well and truly been rewarded. It was out of bed that I had to ignore my burgeoning feelings for him. In bed he was a straight pro.</p>
<p>“Let’s try that My Lord thing.” I said.</p>
<p>“Yes, My Lord.” He intoned and my dick almost jumped off. I pulled off his underwear and pulled his arms up, making him wail. It was music to my ears.</p>
<p>“Same safe word?” I asked and he nodded.</p>
<p>“Like I’d use it.” he laughed. </p>
<p>The feeling came over me and I grunted, my chest tightened and my heart skipped a beat. I had never loved anyone before except my sister Aurora and that had been a brutal lesson at Andy’s hands. I didn’t recognize it so I thought something as wrong with me.</p>
<p>Cloud turned over and looked up at me, took the cuffs from my hands and kissed me sweetly. He pushed me down and carressed me, his hands making little silver waves up and down my torso. He pulled off his underwear and straddled me and unbuttoned my shirt.</p>
<p>“Raph should be careful who he trusts.” I said and put my hands on his chest. Cloud leaned down and kissed my mouth, my neck, my shoulder. His tongue trailed down my stomach and that boy could do things with his mouth most people couldn’t do with their whole bodies. </p>
<p>I realize my eyes were closed when I felt him unbuckle my pants and I became aware of the sound of my heart beating in my temples. </p>
<p>His hand snaked down into my pants.</p>
<p>“Welcome to Inchon.” he said as he tickled my cock and then grabbed it and began to stroke. </p>
<p>“I’m starting to like this place.” I said breathily.</p>
<p>I felt him move his head down and a moment later felt the hot, wet cave of his mouth clamp on my manhood and suck really hard. I growled and moaned at the same time. I wrapped my hands in his hair and guided him to where I wanted him to where I wanted him to be. He didn’t fight me like most people did, he submitted. That was half the pleasure. His total submission.</p>
<p>I was getting close and pulled him up and kissed him. “Not yet. I need that ass.” I said and he rolled over and pulled me on top of him. He wrapped his legs around me and fell limp beneath me.</p>
<p>I almost came watching him lay there, in complete acceptance of me, of what I might do. He trusted me. I know all about the way power flows in these relationship. I knew he was in control. And that was good, too. It was the only equal relationship I’d ever had.</p>
<p>I entered him and he grunted, wrapped around me and I felt wanted, needed. That was the thing with him. The sex was one thing but he wanted me. No one had ever wanted me.</p>
<p>I knew I wasn’t going to last long so I reached down and started stroking him as I pumped. We both came in about five minutes and fell asleep on top of each other.</p>
<p>*****<br/>Cloud.</p>
<p>I loved my brother. I want you all to understand that. When I had to kill him, when he betrayed me…</p>
<p>Seth was at the breakfast table when we came down that morning. He eyed Reno and then me.</p>
<p>“What does Raph think?” He asked.</p>
<p>“Raph got me this gig.” Reno said and kissed my cheek. Seth’s eyebrow flicked up and down. I knew I’d get questions later. My brother was more like a mother hen sometimes.</p>
<p>Reno and I ate breakfast and Rude came down. I smiled and waved to him. He waved back.</p>
<p>“Oh, yeah.” Reno said. “We stopped in Nibelheim. Met someone named Tifa.”  </p>
<p>Cloud turned to me. “You saw Tifa?” I asked. It occurred to me I hadn’t thought about her in a while and I felt like an ass. </p>
<p>“Yeah, I think Rude is in love.” Reno grinned.</p>
<p>“I’ll kick your ass.” Rude said. </p>
<p>That caught in my throat. Tifa. She was mine in my head. But, she was so far away and so long ago. I was in love with Raph, in – whatever the hell this was with Reno. And Rude was a good guy, a really good guy. I knew that.</p>
<p>“She likes Wood roses.” I said. Rude dropped his fork and looked at me. </p>
<p>“What?” He asked.</p>
<p>“Wood Roses. They grow in the forest near Nibelheim. They’re beautiful, deep purple and blue. I can tell you where to find them or if you pay the local kids, they’ll pick them for you.” I said. I was giving her up. But more, I was acknowledging that I was someone different. It hurt but it felt right.</p>
<p>“Thanks. Anything else?”</p>
<p>“Yeah, she has a wicked right.” I offered and put my head on Reno’s shoulder. He laughed and put some eggs on my plate. </p>
<p>“Eat. You’re gonna need your energy.” Seth rolled his eyes.</p>
<p>Everything was going to change. I could feel it. Everything was going to shift and be different. I know it’s weird but at that moment I felt sure I had signed some deal with fate and from this moment on, something started, something so large it swallowed all of us up. Us and people we didn’t even know yet.</p>
<p>“I love you, Nisan.” I said. I felt like I needed to.  He met my eyes and I knew he felt it, too.</p>
<p>“I love you too, Ototo.” And I knew he did.</p>
<p>*****</p>
<p>Raph was looking for Genesis. He started the last place anyone saw my brother. The apple factory. </p>
<p>Raph got out of the Jeep he’d commandeered and walked into the factory. There wasn’t much left, it had been burned in a Shinra raid to cover up Genesis instability. </p>
<p>There were burned boards and Raph remembered this place. It was from here a week before events necessitating the raid that Angeal had taken Raph away from Genesis. He could still see his lover growing smaller as they ascended into the sky. Three years ago. Cloud was still in high school. </p>
<p>He had fallen in love with two of these creatures, so different and so the same. He wiped away a tear and dug around in the dirt. There he found a single, black feather.</p>
<p>He lifted it to his face, brushed it on his cheek. He’d seen Genesis with his wing, knew who this belonged to. Even if he hadn’t his exceptional senses would still have picked up the smell of his lover beneath the smell of carbon and flame. </p>
<p>Being here again jogged memory, memory he felt had been intentionally altered. Genesis had told him something. It wasn’t a complete good bye. It was more of a “so long”.</p>
<p>He was aware that every single step he took altered his life. He loved Cloud more then he thought possible but still, Genesis was his soul mate. Even Seth had acknowledged Raph. Lofty Seth who had no patience for humans had tolerated Raph, befriended him even as his brother’s partner. Jude, Zack and himself. There were no other humans Seth cared for at all.</p>
<p>The past laid out before him in a path, he could see each decision that had led him to this place. It was an eidetic trick taught to him by Genesis. One step leads to another to another and…</p>
<p>Something jarred loose. Genesis laying beside him in bed, his arms wrapped around him. </p>
<p>“I will never leave you.” Genesis had said.</p>
<p>“They’ll rip us apart. It’s what they do.” Raph replied.</p>
<p>“They don’t know about us. No one does. Not even Angeal.”</p>
<p>“You don’t believe that, do you? Tseng knows and if he knows Shinra knows.” I said.</p>
<p>“I think you misjudge Tseng, however if this is the case, I’ll kill Tseng.” Genesis said and it was chilling. He meant it.</p>
<p>“I love you.” Raph purred.</p>
<p>“If you lose me, you can find me where the light turns to pearl and the sky sings.” Genesis said. </p>
<p>“Where the hell is that?” Raph asked and young Raph hadn’t known. </p>
<p>But now Raph did. </p>
<p>The Ancient city.</p>
<p>He ran back to the jeep.</p>
<p>*****</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0022"><h2>22. Together</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Sorry it took a while. I did a clumsy and hurt myself :D</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The Four Loves of Cloud Strife<br/>
Part 2 – Brothers in Arms</p><p>Chapter 22<br/>
Together</p><p> </p><p>Oh, my love, my darling<br/>
I've hungered for your touch<br/>
A long, lonely time<br/>
Time goes by so slowly<br/>
And time can do so much<br/>
Are you still mine?<br/>
I need your love<br/>
I need your love<br/>
God speed your love to me<br/>
Unchained Melody, The Righteous Brothers.</p><p> </p><p>Cloud:</p><p>I dropped on the couch and lay back, Reno came in with a bowl of popcorn and two beers and sat in my lap. I wrapped my leg around him and turned on the TV.</p><p>“So, what’s on?” he asked.</p><p>“Dunno, I just need some down time,” I returned. He could tell from my voice I was a little down.</p><p>“What’s up?” He asked.</p><p>“Raph hasn’t answered my calls in a couple of days. I’m worried about him.”  Reno turned and looked at me as I took a beer from him.</p><p>“Want me to call Tseng and have someone check on him?” He asked.</p><p>“No, no. I’m sure he’s fine.” He probably was, and no one knew I’d told Raph about Genesis. I couldn’t risk that anyone would find out and try to interfere with his search. I had to trust him.</p><p>Reno leaned back and put his head on my shoulder. “You ok?” He asked. For all he was a vicious, sociopathic thug, he was really good at reading my emotions. He could sense whatever was going through my head. I had this sudden twinge of panic.</p><p>“Yeah. Can I ask you something?” I asked. </p><p>He turned again slightly trying to see my face and gauge my mood. </p><p>“As long as you’re not asking to break up with me.” He said.</p><p>“I didn’t think we were dating.” I said. </p><p>He grunted and sat up. He turned. “Fine, what?” He was annoyed. Reno was no good with anything like like emotions. I grabbed him and pulled him to me, sitting up to hold him close and bury my face in his neck.</p><p>“Don’t give up on me.” I whispered in his ear. </p><p>He pushed me back and looked me in the eyes. He was searching for something. His eyes flashed mako like mine did. Deep turquoise with that weird glow mine that held much more intensely. There was also concern there.</p><p>“What do you mean?” he asked. His voice was husky and serious.</p><p>“I mean, I’ll come back to you. Don’t give up on me. Ever. I’ll always come back to you.”</p><p>He grinned then and threw his head back and laughed.</p><p>“I don’t think it’s funny.” I said and pulled away a little.  He pulled me back and held me in a death lock, kissed the top of my head.</p><p>“I thought you were throwing me out.” He said and I knew his laughter was relief. “I will never give up on you.” He said. </p><p>We fell into each other’s arms and lay down and watched the game.</p><p>*****</p><p>Two weeks on a supply ship and Raph stepped off near the ancient city. Near was a misnomer. It was still a three day hike. </p><p>He adjusted his pack and looked over at the rest of the group. Three Shinra’s, two archaeologists and a guide. </p><p>The guide was going on about survival skills for the scientists and Shinra’s. Raph had spent too much time in the field to need such instruction. He checked the blousing bands around his ankles and pulled the collar on his all weather jacket. It was chilly, they were closer to the poles. His boots were too new and he knew they would become uncomfortable but it was too late to go back home for them now. </p><p>“Excuse me, sir?” he looked up and noticed the guide was talking to him. She was pretty, blond and her body had the character of an athlete. </p><p>“Yes?”  He asked.</p><p>“For your protection, I suggest you listen to the lecture, sir.” She said. </p><p>Were he not undercover, were there not Shinra’s here, he’d have told her about the time he spent five days alone under heavy fire with only a knife but he couldn’t give himself away in front of them. Shinra would have a fit is he knew what Raph were up to.</p><p>“Yes, of course, young lady.” He said. Her eyes narrowed a little and he smiled. He’d gotten under her skin. Now he’d have her attention and it would be easier for her to figure out that he knew what he was doing and hopefully she’d leave him alone. </p><p>She checked everyone’s gear and when she came to him, he could tell she was hoping to find fault. He was, to her knowledge, some middle manager from Shinra and he had defied her. </p><p>She looked at his pack and his boots. She checked his jacket and noticed the materia sword he had slung behind his back.</p><p>“All of this is… right.” She said a little disconcerted. Now she knew he wasn’t what he appeared to be and she was off balance. </p><p>“Yes. I was a military guide in Wu Tai.” She met his eyes and he could see a little suspicion. The sword was making her nervous. He also knew she had noticed the mako glint in his eye and the ease of his smile.</p><p>“Your name?” She asked.</p><p>“Raphael.” he said and smiled. </p><p>He could see she wanted to ask the question, that she was familiar with the soldier program and that she was ex military. All the Soldiers had profile names that reflected heavenly things. Even Cloud, who was called by sort of a nickname. His file name was Cirrus. His real name. </p><p>“I see.” She muttered and he worried she might panic.</p><p>“I’m going to make sure nothing happens to anyone.” He offered in his most fatherly voice, the one he used to calm Cloud’s night terrors.</p><p>She nodded and stepped away.  “OK, let’s go into the jungle.” She offered and they all followed her in a line, Raph took up the rear. </p><p>*****<br/>
Reno:</p><p>It was hard to imagine Seth being more squirrely then usual but he was managing. I knew he was unstable. But by this point everyone but Cloud seems to know. </p><p>Cloud adored Seth and most of the Shinra’s were afraid of him going over with his brother when it came, and believe me, now it was when and not if.</p><p>He spent more time alone, in quiet which was very unlike him. Seth was a social whore and couldn’t get enough attention. When he was with people he seemed more distracted and off his game. </p><p>He got more possessive of Cloud. He was constantly watching and was interjecting himself more and more into our lives. Pushing me more and more out of it.</p><p>“Cloud.” I said. He looked up from his book and smiled. “You have to do something about Seth.” I said.</p><p>“What do you mean?” He asked.</p><p>“He spent the night last night. We have one room. Not very romantic.”</p><p>“He’s lonely. He’s grieving for Abbigail.”</p><p>“He’s pushing us apart and he means to.” I said. He looked away.</p><p>“I won’t let him.” Cloud said. “I need you like I need air.” He said.</p><p>I shuddered a little and went over and put my arms around him. For a minute I thought he might be showing some instability. He seemed fragile in my arms and that didn’t often happen.</p><p>“Seth is slipping.” I said.</p><p>He looked at me with terror in his eyes. “He’s talking to Mother.” He said, low and conspiratorially. </p><p>“What does that mean?” I asked.</p><p>“Mother is always in our heads but we ignore her. It’s not good, Reno.” he said. “Usually they fight. But he isn’t fighting with her like he used to.”</p><p>“We have to tell someone!” I said.</p><p>“Please just give me a few weeks. I think I’m starting to get through to him. He will never keep us apart though Reno. Never.” I hugged him and he trembled in my arms. I got to tell you, Cloud was no coward, he wasn’t girly by any stretch of the imagination. Sure he was more vulnerable then me and more willing to have, ya know, feelings but I knew he was scared shitless. And that scared me. Nothing scared Cloud.</p><p>“I got your back. Tell me what you need and me and the Turks are there.” I whispered in his ear.</p><p>“No, Shinra can’t know.”</p><p>“The Turks ain’t Shinra, babe.” I reminded him. We hated them as much as he did but, as Tseng liked to say, they were stupid and greedy and that made them controllable and useful.</p><p>“I just…”</p><p>“Tseng would keep your secrets and so would I.” I told him and at that moment I really meant it but I never thought it would become important to keeping him alive to betray him.</p><p>*****</p><p>Raph brought his sword down again and said “Burn.” The firaga spell went off damaging three of the creatures and setting a large tree on fire. </p><p>They stood for a moment as the fire subsided and when everything was still he looked at his battle compatriot.</p><p>Third night in the jungle and his guide, Lacey, he had discovered her name was, looked at him as she wiped ichor off her sword. </p><p>He could tell by the way she was looking at him that she had finally gotten up her nerve to ask. She had decided by then that he was safe and useful having helped her on several occasions killing the beasts that dwelt in the forest. </p><p>It was actually kind of… fun. He had lived too long in a comfortable house with a comfortable bed and had forgotten what kind of man he had once been.</p><p>“So, are you… one of them.” She blurted.</p><p>He smiled and nodded. “Not elite or anything. I was a Soldier third class when I mustered out. But I had the mako treatments and I’m enhanced.”</p><p>“Oh, so… why are you here?” She asked, edging around the question like it was a snake.</p><p>“I’m looking for an old friend.” He told her and she smiled, but it was cautious.</p><p>“One of… you.”</p><p>“More then I ever was. Did you know that there were only ever three Soldier first class?”</p><p>“But I thought…”</p><p>“Everyone does. There is a fourth in the world but he hasn’t past his tests yet. He’s my lover and I need to call him tonight, if that would be ok? I’ll be away from camp for a while but now, knowing what you know, you won’t have to worry. Maybe I’ll even bring back dinner.”</p><p>She nodded. Raph cleaned the blood off his own weapon. “If I’m not back in an hour, take everyone and go on without me. I’ll be fine. From here, as I recall you should be able to make it before nine o’clock. If something kills me, though, you probably don’t want to meet it at midnight..”</p><p>He left her there in the clearing and went to find a place to telephone Cloud. It would have to be brief but he needed to ask him something. Shinra would have his phone bugged and though no one should have been wiser to his errand, he didn’t want to take chances.</p><p>Raph found a clearing that was elevated and turned on his SAT phone. He dialed and waited as it rang. </p><p>“Hello?” He heard. It was restrained and timid and he could hear the longing in Cloud’s voice.</p><p>“Hello darling. I only have a minute…”</p><p>“You’re ok?” Cloud asked and Raph smiled.</p><p>“Yes and I love you which brings me to why I called.” Raph said. There was a moment of uncertain silence. “I’ve been thinking about us and the other people in our lives. But you’ve been there for me no matter what. You and I have a life together. You are my partner. No matter what happens, I choose you, boy. When I get back, I was wondering if you’d do the honor of marrying me.”</p><p>He heard Cloud choke a little on the other end of the line. “Really?” Cloud asked.</p><p>“Really. Marry me.” Raph said.</p><p>“Yes.” Cloud said with great determination. </p><p>“Well, then, order us some wedding suits.” Raph said with a smile.</p><p>“I love you.” Cloud said.  </p><p>“I love you too!” Reno called from behind him and Raph laughed. He had decided they were a package deal and had long ago dealt with any jealousy there. </p><p>“Aw, Reno. That is so sweet. And if I didn’t know you are incapable of love I’d believe you. Go, I’ll be back as soon as I can and we’ll throw together a wedding and be married.”</p><p>Raph hung up and called his lawyer.</p><p>“Yes, Raph, where the hell are you?”</p><p>“Camping. I needed to be away from the hustle and bustle for a while. My therapist says it’s good for the soul. Look, I need you to do me a favor, I want to leave everything to Cloud, except the house and that will go to Inella. The one in Derbyshire. And of course it’s contents.”</p><p>“Are you sure?” His attorney asked.</p><p>“We’re engaged, Sal. I think it’s time.”</p><p>“This isn’t because you’ve gone off and done something stupid and dangerous?”</p><p>“Me? Forfend. I’ll sign the papers electronically after you draw them up.”</p><p>“Give me two hours.”  Raph nodded and hung up. He had a bad feeling, but only for himself. He wanted to make sure Cloud was taken care of. And by extension, Reno. He’d come to have some affection for the errant thug.</p><p>He put away his phone and went back to camp.</p><p> </p><p>*****<br/>
Bored. The only thing that kept me from going insane in Inchon was Reno.</p><p>We’d get up, get dressed in our blues, eat, go into the big room, listen to a bunch of politicians and generals pat themselves on the back for making peace after the death of 100,000 people and then have lunch, listen more and then be off for the evening. </p><p>Reno’s only job, apparently was to make sure I was entertained. </p><p>Once I was off work he found entertaining things for us to do. We had sports parties for ultimate martial events and Gravball games, Karaoke in a local bar, dancing at the officer’s clubs. </p><p>Girls would flirt with me and Reno kept me from wandering off.  </p><p>We’d go swimming. And of course training for the upcoming Soldier testing.  I was constantly training for that. </p><p>The big deal for me was that. I did the physical. I passed with flying colors. Seth was so happy he had a party for me. Seth did not entertain.</p><p>The written test was a little more tricky but I did ace it.</p><p>And then the Psyche exam. I’d done this before and passed. I was a shoe in.</p><p>Seth came to my room. He threw a robe to Reno, who was having a nudist phase.</p><p>“We need to talk.” He said.  I could tell from his tone it was bad.</p><p>“What?” He glared at Reno. “He’s fine.”</p><p>“You failed the psych. They found out about your suicide attempt.” he said.</p><p>“My???”  I’d forgotten about that night in the jungle, Reno slapping the gun out of my hand, Raph desperate on the phone…</p><p>“Fuck.” I heard Reno said.</p><p>“Who are you calling?”  I heard Seth say. I looked over and Reno had a smart pad in his hand.</p><p>“Tseng.  Figure we call in the big guns, get this shoved under the carpet.” He replied.</p><p>“Yes, I have Zack on it as well. It’s fine Ototo, we just need to pull some…”</p><p>“But it’s cheating…”</p><p>“You’re a Jenova clone. Do you think the rest of us haven’t tried to off ourselves? You’re the most stable of us.” Seth threw at me.</p><p>“He ain’t lying.” Reno said.</p><p>I thought I might cry.</p><p>“This is the last hurdle and you’ll be a Soldier first class.” Seth said. I looked at Reno and he had a weird look on his face.  We’d talk later.</p><p>I nodded. Still felt like cheating. </p><p>I looked at Seth and he had his head cocked. I knew he was talking to mother. </p><p>“She doesn’t get say.” I told him and he glared at me, for a moment I could see her in his eyes.</p><p>“Cloud, don’t…” Seth said looking at my erstwhile lover. </p><p>“Reno knows. You need to get this handled. You know what she’s capable of.” I told him in a warning voice.</p><p>“I don’t like your tone…” He said and it reeked of Mother.</p><p>“And I don’t want to lose my brother.” I said. He looked at me for a minute and took a deep breath.</p><p>“You’re right of course. I’ll close down.” He nodded and looked at Reno. I could feel the threat in Seth’s stance. I knew he was thinking about killing Reno, silencing him. He knew now that my lover knew too much.</p><p>And then something odd happened. My hands got really cold. Really cold.</p><p>“You know what, Seth, bring it. Yes, I know you’re talking to mommy and I know that’s why Gen popped a wing. I’m watching you. For your own sake as much as for ours. Tseng likes you…” Reno was saying. </p><p>I could feel Seth’s rage building and it seemed to come out of nowhere. </p><p>“Fuck Tseng and fuck you, I don’t need a baby sitter.”  He lost his temper then and took a step toward Reno.</p><p>I held my hands up and this gust of icy wind hit Seth, knocked him into the wall. He hit hard and lay on the floor, looking at me incredulously.</p><p>“What the fuck? You have an ice materia on you?”  Reno asked and I shook my head.</p><p>“Jenova clones get what we call a wild talent. I think we’ve just found Cloud’s.” Seth said as he stood up. He shook his head and retreated from the room.<br/>
*****</p><p>Seth had almost hurt Reno. His temper had risen out of no where. Truth be told, Seth liked Reno. He was enhanced and, therefore one of us. </p><p>He was also very good to Cloud and made his brother deliriously happy. When they were together, there was something… palpable. Both of them were calmer, more stable. Cloud's childish motion stilled and the nervous waves of Reno’s temperament turned into tiny ripples. Seth felt the same way when he had been with Abbi. </p><p>And Seth had gone from a little worried to homicidal in seconds. </p><p>He was losing control and mother was taking over. He wasn’t sure how to reverse the process but he would find a way. He sat on the floor of his room and meditated, silencing his mind. He could still feel her at the edges, begging him not to closer her out, reminding him how he was special, a god among bugs, how she would make him great.</p><p>He resolved then that as soon as this conference was over he would return to the Dojo in Fing Hai and calm his mind again. If it took him his whole life, he would put this genie back in her bottle. </p><p>And it might have worked, too.</p><p>*****</p><p>The Ancient City wasn’t the city itself. It was an area rich with Cetra artifacts and a mystical forest.  It was an archaeological dig site with a small tent town for the scientists who either lived her or came to consult. There were also a few Shinra tourists.</p><p>But the dig site wasn’t of any interest to Raph. This was not where he was headed. This wasn’t the ancient city. He still had further to go and he wasn’t even really sure he could get their.</p><p>Beyond the dig site was a forest of some ill repute. It was easily to get turned around in it’s trees. They weren’t really dense but there was a mist that always clung to the ground. And this sound like music. </p><p>This was where Genesis was.</p><p>Raph was nervous. He had resolved to return to Cloud but he owed it to Gen to release him. Raph was sure Shinra had him in a tank here somewhere and that was not a good place to be.</p><p>“Are you really going in there?” Lacey asked.</p><p>“Yes. I’ve been in there before. If I get lost I just need to wander long enough to come back to the entrance. I’ve got a couple of weeks of Shinrations.”</p><p>“Some people never come back out, Raph. Let me come with you.”</p><p>“I have a guide. Besides both of us hopelessly lost is worse then just one of us. I need you to do me a favor,” He said.</p><p>“Sure…” She said. She’d come to like Raph. They had a burgeoning friendship.</p><p>“If I do get lost forever, would you be so kind as to call this number and tell the young man on the other end that I really did love him.”</p><p>“He must be something else.” She said.</p><p>“He’s a soldier first class, my dear. That is something so amazing it isn’t even human.”</p><p>“OK, but you be careful. </p><p>He nodded and turned and walked into the forest as the dawn broke. He’d rested in the tent town for a day and now it was time to finish this. </p><p>“And tell him thank you for letting me know. It was a huge sacrifice. It’s when I knew he really loved me.”</p><p>He disappeared into the Forest. </p><p>The mist swirled up around his feet and the light changed to the constant ethereal pink and blue it always was. He suspected this was not an anomaly but rather Cetra tech. He had never voiced this before but his theory was this was the rift the Cetra came through when they moved between planets. Rather then ships they controlled dimensions and the fabric of space. </p><p>He took a few steps into the forest and stopped. He cleared his mind and thought about Genesis. Nothing.</p><p>He took a moment and sat on the ground and closed his eyes again, reached for his former lover. </p><p>“Gen, are you there?” He asked. He felt a stirring.</p><p>“Raph? Raph, where am I?” He heard. His heart stirred and he stood. </p><p>“Can you still hear me?” He asked reaching out. The only problem he would have would be the intensity of the thought might give him a headache.</p><p>“I’m here, Gen.” He said.</p><p>“But where am I?” Came the reply.</p><p>“Let’s figure that out. Can you open your eyes?”</p><p>There was a moment of silence and then. "Yes. But it’s hard to see. I think it’s dark here. I feel sick, Raph. Very sick.”</p><p>“I’m sorry, dear. You’re molecules are unstable…”</p><p>“Yes, I’ve been thinking about that. I know what will cure me. I need stable Jenova Cells. Sephiroth…”</p><p>“We can handle that when we find you, but first I need to find you. Think about me. Which direction am I from you?”</p><p>“Left. Come to your right, Raph.”</p><p>Raph shifted his pack and turned to the right and walked forward.</p><p>Periodically, Gen would correct him, a little right, turn sharp left. An hour later, the mist swirled away and Raph found himself in a clearing. Around the edges were carved columns and broken tablets, a fortune in mythology shattered by time and weather. </p><p>In the center, though, was what caught his attention, a crypt. </p><p>He walked to it and reached for Gen. He could feel him close, almost smell him.</p><p>“I think you’re in a crypt, Gen.” Raph said out loud.</p><p>“Well get me out!” He heard in his head.</p><p>He dropped his pack and tried to push the lid. “Help me!” He called but the lid didn’t budge.</p><p>“We need to try something else. Any ideas?”</p><p>“Is there any kind of fulcrum?” Gen asked.</p><p>“Are you ok? Are you breathing?” Raph asked.</p><p>“I think I’m in the lifestream.” came the reply.</p><p>“Hum. OK. Let me try this, how close are you to the lid?”</p><p>“I have to sit up to touch it. Three feet?” Gen said.</p><p>“Lie down and don’t move.” Raph told him.</p><p>“What are you going to do… Raph? Raph?””</p><p>Raph was concentrating. His ice materia glowed and pulsed.</p><p>Suddenly a shard of ice shot out of the materia and hit the crypt, breaking the lid. Raph collapsed and his materia fell dark.</p><p>It was silent in the clearing for long moments. No bird sang, no animal stirred.</p><p>And then a hand emerged from the crypt. It clasped the edge and Gen pulled himself out of the stone box, dripping with life stream that seeped from the ground and made a puddle deep enough to submerge him.</p><p>Using all his will he flipped out of the crypt and crawled his way to Raph. He looked at Raph’s face for a long moment. He reached over and grabbed Raph’s hand. Then he smiled and collapsed</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0023"><h2>23. Three Brothers</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Genesis is awake and unstable, Cloud defies Seth to try and save him.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Chapter 23</p><p>There Brothers</p><p>Hey brother! There's an endless road to rediscover<br/>Hey sister! Know the water's sweet but blood is thicker<br/>Oh, if the sky comes falling down, for you<br/>There's nothing in this world I wouldn't do</p><p>Cloud:</p><p>I was worried about Seth. That’s why I was following him.</p><p>I knew I was losing him, but I didn’t want to admit it, not to myself especially. He was the only real family I had. I knew I had two other half-brothers but one was hiding and the other hopelessly insane.</p><p>“Why are you following me?” Seth asked, wheeling on me.</p><p>“How did you spot me?” I asked, offended. I thought I was being stealthy.</p><p>“Too much cologne and you’re wearing your sword rig. You sound like an elephant tiptoeing through a wind chime shop.”</p><p>“You don’t have to be mean.” I said. He walked over and hugged me.</p><p>“Ototo. I know that you’re worried about me. But I’m fine. I’ve pushed mother out and I’m not listening to her anymore. I’ll be good and play nice.”</p><p>“Then why are you sneaking out in the middle of the night.” I demanded and set my face so he would know I wasn’t playing around. In hindsight I must have looked like a wolf cub facing off with the Alpha.</p><p>“Maybe I’m lonely. Do you think you’re the only one with needs?” He offered. I knew that as bullshit, that wasn’t Seth’s style. That was all me. But I wanted to believe him, didn’t I?</p><p>“So, are you going to a brothel?” I asked snidely. </p><p>“Don’t be crass.” He snapped. “I’m… going to a bar.” He said.</p><p>“Well, don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.” I said.</p><p>“And what would that be?” He asked sarcastically. </p><p>I stuck my tongue out at him and turned to go back to Reno and our warm bed. My brain flew instantly to that moment, lying next to him, snuggling up and his smell surrounding me, his arms strong and enfolding. I felt guilty, I loved Raph but Reno made me so happy. </p><p>Reno was an issue in himself. I was straight. My whole identity was founded on that fact. I wasn’t physically attracted to men, including Raph. It was a confession I wasn’t willing to make at that moment but sleeping with Raph was a complicated series of justifications and hours of convincing myself and sneaking Viagra. Raph kept me safe, Raph had saved me. I think even my love for him was based on my brokenness and his willingness to take care of me. I loved him, but he was still a guy and I found myself thinking about girls when he was doing me.</p><p>But Reno. He had me questioning everything. He was sexy. It was easier with Raph when I was being disciplined. Reno and I rarely played those games and I was still hard most of the time I was with him. The smell of him could drive me insane, the way he moved, the feel of his arms. It terrified me because I thought it meant I was in love with Reno and just lying about Raph. And I wasn’t ready to face the real world without my savior.</p><p>It might be a moot point, though. Maybe Raph felt the same way about Genesis. Didn’t they have history? I kept feeling like we were getting engaged for the wrong reasons and at the wrong time but the idea of life without Raph taking care of me terrified me.</p><p>Seth said something and distracted me from my drama.</p><p>“I know but we have to be more careful.” I heard Seth say at the end of the hall. I looked up and he turned, looked at me. Our eyes met. A lie passed between us. I had my love life to worry over and he was capable and was handling things. We agreed silently to ignore the thing that was terrifying both of us. Mother.</p><p>I should have run over, knocked him out and turned him in. I might still have him if I had. That’s my regret. That was the moment I could have saved my brother, we could have had a better a life, a different story. I failed Seth to death in that moment.</p><p>I turned and went back to Reno and told myself it would be alright.</p><p>*****<br/>Raph woke an hour later. He looked at his watch and realized someone was holding his other hand.</p><p>Gen. He looked like he was sleeping but Raph could tell from the subtle jerking of his shoulders that he had the Mako heaves.</p><p>“Gen?  Can you hear me?”  He reached over to touch Genesis but the form next to him jerked away.</p><p>“I’m covered in Mako.” Genesis hissed. A rush went through Raph. His beloved Genesis was lying there, real and alive.</p><p>Raph looked around and found a well. A bucket sat on the edge and Raph dropped it into the water with a splash. He hauled it up and smelled, tasted it. It was sweet and cool. He carried the bucket back over to where Gen lay, too weak to move.</p><p>“I’m going to pour this on you. It’s cold. Are you ready?” Raph asked. He looked over Gen and saw that the Lifestream had eaten through his clothing and it was threadbare. </p><p>Genesis braced and nodded. </p><p>Raph poured the cold water on his former lover and the life stream soaked into the ground, anxious to go to where it came from.  He was much cleaner than he should have been after one splash. He sat up and trembled a little lass, though his hands shook madly.</p><p>“Are you hungry?” Raph asked. He took the bucket back and filled it again. This he poured on Genesis as well, rinsing his hair thoroughly. He reached over and rubbed Gen’s hair and got all the Mako out. He brushed it back and it gleamed, dark red, making his skin seem very pale.</p><p>Gen nodded and Raph opened his pack, pulled out a blanket and wrapped Genesis in it. Genesis shivered and Raph wrapped it tighter.</p><p>“I’ve missed you.” Raph said as he unpacked his pack. “And I’ve been really pissed at you for dumping me. Zack is, too.”</p><p>“Is… Zack ok?”  Gen asked as he struggled to stay up.</p><p>“Of course, he’s Zack. He lives a charmed existence.” Gen nodded and pulled the blanket closer. “I just found out that you were still alive.” Raph added.</p><p>“Jury is still out on that. The Lifestream helped but I’m still unstable. Sephiroth…”</p><p>“Yes, we’ll get there. But first we need to get you washed up and strong enough to walk out of here. Figure out how to get out of here.”</p><p>“So, the usual Raph Neville fly by the seat of your pants plan.” Gen said softly. “How long have I been down?” Gen asked. </p><p>Raph turned and looked at him.</p><p>“Five years.” Raph said bluntly.</p><p>“So, is all forgiven?” Gen asked with dark humor. “I mean, they probably rebuild all the shit I destroyed by now.”</p><p>“It has been a while. I forgot why I loved you so much.” Raph set about building a fire. </p><p>Raph stretched out his sleeping bag when he was done and then put on some water to boil.  He took out his change of clothes and threw them to Genesis.</p><p>“Loved, hun?” Gen offered. “Does this mean I have to win you back.”</p><p>“I’m engaged.” Raph said and took out a protein bar and handed it to Gen.</p><p>“I’ll just kill whomever it is and take you back.” Gen smiled.</p><p>“He’s your brother.” Raph said and Gen looked up from the food, swallowed the bite in his mouth.</p><p>“Seth? He’s startlingly straight.” Gen ventured and he seemed truly caught off guard.</p><p>“No, you haven’t met this one yet. Hojo gave Seth a twin. His name is Cloud.” Raph poured the boiling water into the bucket and gave it to Gen. “Here, it’s warmer. Wash up.”</p><p>Genesis stood and took off his clothing. He washed all the mako off and moved over to the fire. It was not exactly warm here.</p><p>“How old is he?” Gen asked as he slid into Raph’s shirt.</p><p>“18.” </p><p>Gen smiled at Raph.</p><p>“Cradle robber.” He smiled wickedly. “Good. An 18-year-old is no competition at all. I’ll have you back in a week.”</p><p>“I’m going to marry him as soon as I get back.” Raph warned.</p><p>“We’ll see,” At that moment Gen doubled over and vomited. He moaned in pain and curled into a fetal position.</p><p>Raph moved behind him and gathered him up in his arms, pulled him close.</p><p>“I’m unstable.” Genesis hissed.</p><p>“Yes. Tell me how we fix that.”</p><p>“I think I need stable cells, from Sephiroth, or your Cloud.”</p><p>“I won’t let you experiment on Cloud. He’s been through enough.” Raph said firmly.</p><p>The pain subsided and Genesis relaxed. He lay for a moment on the ground and let Raph embrace him. Then he turned quickly and kissed Raph on the mouth, pulled him close.</p><p>At first Raph resisted but then his body remembered this kiss, this man and he found himself kissing back. They wrapped around each other, Raph pulled Gen close and moaned.</p><p>“I missed you.” Raph said and found himself crying. Genesis pulled him close and kissed his forehead.</p><p>“Well, I’m back now.” Genesis said and held Raph until he stopped crying.</p><p>*****<br/>Reno</p><p>Cloud jerked awake.  I was used to this. He had night terrors. To be honest, I did too sometimes, and it was nice to wake up in someone’s arms on those nights.</p><p> I pulled Cloud close and made shushing noises. He leaned into me hard and his proximity made me feel sane, normal, happy.</p><p>“Reno! Reno? Bae?” He grabbed at me like he was confirming my solidity. “He’s back. He found him.” Cloud said. I could tell he wasn’t talking to me.</p><p>“Whose back?”  Cloud looked at me and leaned up and kissed me quick. “Whose back, damn it?”</p><p>“Genesis.” Cloud said and my heart fell. It was bad enough we had to deal with Seth’s instability, now we had to deal with the Butcher of Midgar?</p><p>“I got to call Tseng…” I reached for my phone, but Cloud grabbed it and put it behind his back.</p><p>“No. It’s ok.” Cloud said. I wanted to believe him, his eyes were so sure, but he said the same thing about Seth and Sephiroth was loopy as a roller coaster.</p><p>“Give me my phone…” I demanded. I reached for it and we wrestled for a few minutes which though it didn’t get me my phone it was very enjoyable.</p><p>“Hear me out.” If it had been anyone else, I’d have just taken my gods damned phone back, but Cloud and I were evenly matched and if I won, he’d make me feel guilty about it. That was his real power. He was the only person on Gaia who could make me feel guilty.</p><p>“OK, what?” I asked and sat back.</p><p>“He knows he’s unstable and he’s too weak to be a threat. He can barely stand. I know. I can feel it. There is something in him that’s… breaking.”</p><p>“If he marches on Midgar, I’m kicking your ass.” I said. I didn’t really know Genesis, but I knew Tseng had liked him a lot. Before he started breaking down.</p><p>“What if it was me, Reno?” He asked and that was a like a slap in the face. That was our biggest fear. Both of us. If Cloud became unstable…  I could lose him. Really lose him. That couldn’t happen. I wouldn’t let it.</p><p>“It won’t be.” I said.</p><p>“It could…” He started but I cut him off.</p><p>“No, it couldn’t. You are stable. They said so.” I told him.</p><p>“They said that about Seth…”</p><p>“Shut the fuck up.” I said and pulled him close, kissed him deeply. “It will not be you. Ever. Do you understand me?”  I felt like I could keep that dark future at bay with my will, with the raw emotion I felt in that moment.</p><p>“Yes, sir,” Cloud said, his eyes large and dewy, his face unsure and that got my motor running. </p><p>It astounded me how this big butch fighter could turn into this deer, this gorgeous, frail manchild. He could make you feel with a glance that you were superman. The whole world. I felt like I was somebody important when he did that shit.  I shoved my tongue down his throat and forgot about calling Tseng.</p><p>He moved beneath me and moaned, and it drove me even more insane. As I entered him and he groaned, clutched at me I had to fight to not tell him I loved him, not scare myself and do something I’d regret like running away from him.</p><p>He moved with me, matching the rhythm of my body and it was like floating in a warm ocean, and for a minute I wasn’t concerned about how fucked up this situation really was. It was him and me, and we were perfect. </p><p>And he would be mine. Exploded into orgasm and both of us collapsed and soon were asleep again wrapped around one another. He might be marrying Raph, but he was mine. I was the one loaning him out. And that thought helped me sleep.</p><p>*****</p><p>“I do still love you.” Raph said, pulling away from Genesis.</p><p>“But?” Gen asked and pulled Raph back.</p><p>“Wait til you meet him. He’s something special.” Raph offered and got up, dropped some Shin-rations in the pot. He poured the rest of the water over Genesis’ head and went to fetch more water. </p><p>Moments later the pot was on to boil and Raph walked over, pushed Genesis into the sleeping bag. “Rest. We need to be able to try to leave in the next couple of days. You need a doctor.”</p><p>“I need my boyfriend back and some stable Jenova cells. And at the risk of sounding like a Butcher of Midgar, I’m special, too.” He offered. Raph looked at him and nodded. </p><p>Yes, Gen was special and somehow Raph had forgotten that. He pushed away that thought and made a shushing sound.</p><p>Gen put his head down and his eyes fluttered closed. A moment later he was sleeping.</p><p>Raph made some dinner and it took about ten minutes and plated it for Genesis. He didn’t want to wake him, but he knew Gen needed food. He sat down next to Gen and shook him gently. The blue-green eyes fluttered open, shining brightly with mako overload.</p><p>“Open.” Raph said and held out a spoonful of the rations.</p><p>“Um, shin-rations, my favorite. Couldn’t you bring in real food?” Gen said sarcastically. “A Panic!burger and one of those cream pies…”</p><p>“It’s the swedish meatballs. The one you hate the least.” Raph smiled and Genesis took the pre offered bite.</p><p>“OK, I must be starving because that tastes amazing.” He sat up and reached for the plate. Raph pulled it away and shook his head.</p><p>“Open.”  He offered another bite. Genesis sighed and opened his mouth.</p><p>“Did I turn you into a Soldier?” Genesis asked.</p><p>“Shinra VP. Intel. So, I’m a spy. Close enough.” Raph offered him some water.</p><p>“I totally failed! You turned into a Shinra!” He chewed another bite and thought for a minute.</p><p>“I am an excellent Vice President and I still see some action.” Raph offered and shoved more food into Gen’s mouth. </p><p>Gen swallowed. “I tried to blow up Shinra as I recall.” He offered.</p><p>“Yes, and failed miserably.” Raph acknowledged.</p><p>“See that’s why I don’t get this Butcher business. At best I blew up, what, five blocks? Really more of an arsonist. Maybe even just a vandal.”  He said.</p><p>“Well, you did kill a thousand people.” Raph said and brush the now drying hair out of Gen’s face.</p><p>“Most of them combatants. I was going for an exponentially larger body count. Barely worth he effort. You know why I did it.” Gen offered. Raph loaded his face with the last of the meal.</p><p>“You were bugfuck crazy?” Raph suggested.</p><p>“Crazy in execution. But you know what they are doing. You know what the mako…”</p><p>“You’re sounding crazy. It’s just energy…”</p><p>“It’s fucking people, Raph. Souls.” Gen snapped and laid back down. “So, this fiancé of yours, How old did you say he was?”</p><p>“18,” Raph told him and unpacked some more stuff out of his pack.</p><p>“18. Bet he doesn’t even know what he wants to be when he grows up.” Genesis offered wickedly.</p><p>“If you’re trying to shame me, it won’t work. I shamed myself and still can’t get over him. He’s like the best of the three of you. He’s handsome and dashing like you and funny and smart like Seth and thoughtful and kind like Angeal.”</p><p>“So, he’s built from spare parts?” Genesis asked and took another bite.</p><p>“You are horrible. But if Seth won’t help you, we can talk to Cloud. But you must be honest with him. Totally.” Raph insisted. </p><p>“And then he’ll help me. You know he will.” Gen reached out and he could feel Cloud, lurking at the edge of his perception. Yes, the boy was extraordinary stable. More stable than any of them had ever been. </p><p>‘Cloud?’ Gen ventured and the boy started. Gen could feel him, the boy was somewhere warm and safe and there were arms around him… He was kind. And bright. Gen was sad he’d have to steal Raph from him but not terribly. He suspected that whomever those arms belonged to would be glad Gen had taken Raph for himself.</p><p>“Yes. That is how he is. He’s a good person, Gen. He makes me feel like a good person. I haven’t felt that for a long time.” Raph was saying.</p><p>“OK, fine, I’ll back off until you come to your senses.” Gen offered and closed his eyes.</p><p>“Sleep.” Raph said. And Genesis did almost on command.<br/>*****</p><p>Cloud.</p><p>I could feel him. Gen was very unstable. Much more than Seth. I knew Seth could feel him too.</p><p>We sat facing each other in the mess hall, Seth shooting me daggers and I could feel Genesis in my head, he was awake somewhere.</p><p>“He’s our brother.” I said and Seth rolled his eyes.</p><p>“He’s an asshole. You don’t know him, Cloud. I bet right now he’s trying to steal your boyfriend.” Seth growled and glared at Reno.</p><p>“Are you?” I asked and Genesis didn’t answer. “Doesn’t matter, Raph loves me.” I said.</p><p>Genesis amusement echoed through our heads and if I hadn’t realized it was directed at me, I’d have laughed too. </p><p>There was a wicked humor there and try as I might, I couldn’t hate Genesis. I could feel he was our older brother and took that responsibility seriously. He wanted to protect us, to pull us together as a family but he needed Seth to give him cells.</p><p>“No, forget it, Gen. Just climb back in your hole…” Seth was saying. </p><p>“It’s a crypt, actually. Come on Seth, all that stuff between us is water under the bridge.” I could hear Gen now, like I was tuning into a radio. I moved Reno’s hand from my thigh so I could concentrate.</p><p>“For you. You tried to destroy Midgar and kill Abbi…” Seth was growling.</p><p>“Not all of Midgar, just the Shinra bits. And I didn’t know she was there.” Gen charged.</p><p>“You didn’t care.” Seth seethed back. This sounded like an old argument, Seth was bitter and angry. He was still mourning her, and her name had come up.</p><p>“I was insane, and I’m going to be insane if you don’t help me.” Gen was pleading.</p><p>“Or dead if I get to you.” Seth said and stood up.</p><p>I stood up, too. “Freeze!” I said out loud and Seth glared at me. ‘I’ll help, what do you need?’</p><p>“I forbid it!” Seth said out loud and gave me a hard look.</p><p>“You don’t own me. I’m an adult.” I threw back. I could feel the anger rising in him again, his control lapsing but he was making me angry and despite my protestations I was probably not an adult. I was an impetuous child.</p><p>“I will not let him drag you into his nonsense. You don’t know him, Cloud. He’s selfish and arrogant and…” Seth was screeching in my head and our argument was bleeding over into the audible regiaters.</p><p>“So, this runs in the family?” I threw back. “You need to watch yourself.”</p><p>“Or what?” he asked, his eyes narrowed. He moved his hand toward Masamune. I pulled Ototo out.</p><p>“You don’t want to do this.” I said.  </p><p>I could see him clench his teeth and I could almost hear what Mother had to say to him. I could tell she was taunting him, trying to get him to act. She had control of one of us and so she wanted to eliminate the others.</p><p>“Sit down.” He said through gritted teeth.</p><p>“Or you’ll kill your beloved brother who adores you?” I asked.  </p><p>He looked like I had slapped him. His eyes grew wide and he stepped forward. I held out Ototo and pointed it at him.</p><p>I noticed that around us people were moving, running in different directions, there was yelling and fear in this room. Reno stood behind me, his hand in his jacket where the electro-baton lay. Seth put his hands in the air.</p><p>“I’m sorry.” He said and stepped forward again, I let down my guard and Seth came forward and hugged me. “I am so sorry.”</p><p>I hugged him back and the room sighed collectively in relief.</p><p>I looked over and caught Reno in my peripheral vision. He was on the phone and I could tell he as using his camera. I knew who he was reporting to.</p><p>*****<br/>Gen was awake again. He was sitting near the fire and Raph had collected more wood and had a good ember bed going so they were both warm.</p><p>“I’ll set up the tent and we can get some sleep. It’ll be warm at least.” Raph offered.</p><p>“Yeah, I can’t seem to get warm. I hate being cold.” Gen said as Raph got up and grabbed the tent from his pack. In three minutes, it was set up and Raph was adding the fly. </p><p>“I remember, you’re terribly spoiled.” Raph said. He threw in a few blankets and grabbed the sleeping bag from around Gen’s shoulders.</p><p>“Hey! Freezing here.” Gen groused. </p><p>“Come to bed, dear.” Raph said and climbed into the tent. He wrapped up in a blanket and used his pack for a pillow. </p><p>“Don’t have to tell me twice.” Gen joked and climbed into the tent with Raph. He slid into the sleeping bag and wrapped around Raph. “I’m sorry I sent you away. I knew I was slipping, and I didn’t want you to get hurt.”</p><p>“I thought you were dead. I mean, when Angeal took me away I thought I wouldn’t make it. I loved you so much, Gen. And I wish I could tell you I was a good man but I’m not, I wasn’t. I did horrible things. I’ve stolen, lied and murdered. Terrible things were done to Cloud, and I knew about them, did nothing to stop them because he was just another weapon system. And then I met him, Gen. He looked at me like I’m a good person. He thinks I’m a good person and being with him makes me want to be good. I need to take care of him. It’s my fault…”</p><p>“So, do you love him or are you obligated? Are you trying to fuck your way into heaven?” Genesis asked. Raph could tell from the tone Genesis had made his own decisions about the answer.</p><p>“I love him, damnit.” Raph said. But he was starting to wonder himself. “Get some sleep. Tomorrow we need to walk back.” </p><p>Gen nodded and closed his eyes. He reached for his little brother’s mind.</p><p>‘Cloud?’ He felt the assent of his brother’s mind. </p><p>Cloud wasn’t as good as nonverbal communication as the other’s were and Genesis wondered what Sephiroth had been teaching the boy. ‘Mother must be furious at this child’s lack of education’ he thought. ‘Tomorrow we’ll be coming to the ancient city. You should meet us there. Raph will need you. He isn’t well.” Gen put a lot of emotion in that. The boy was in Inchon and could get there in that amount of time. And Gen could get Raph to stay in the dig if necessary.</p><p>There was an assent in the boy’s head, and he felt him moving. ‘don’t bring Sephiroth.” Gen added and again there was assent. Gen snuggled next to Raph and went to sleep.</p><p>*****<br/>Reno</p><p>Cloud sat up and tried to get out of bed. I grabbed him and pulled him back</p><p>“And where do you think you’re going?” I asked. I expected him to say the bathroom, but he didn’t. </p><p>“Um, City of Ancients.” He was up and shoving things in his duffel bag.</p><p>“Yeah, no.” I said and got up. He shoved my bag in my hand. </p><p>“Pack or shut up.” He said and leaned up and kissed me. I sighed and grabbed some clothes. I got to admit I was starting to worry about Cloud. I shoved it away hard because to think about it him being unstable was too much. </p><p>A few moments later we were both packed and he was shoving on his boots.</p><p>“Can I ask why?” I asked. </p><p>“Gen is there. He wants us to meet him…” Cloud said.</p><p>“Us?” I said and he looked at me.</p><p>“If he wants me, he gets you. We’re a set.” He said. He kissed me and handed me my jacket. “It’s cold there.”</p><p>Next thing I knew we were sneaking down the hall. “Why are we sneaking?” I asked.</p><p>“Seth can’t know we’re going. He’ll freak.”  I nodded.</p><p> I texted my flight crew and had them spin up my chopper and then shot a message to Tseng letting him know what was going on.</p><p>“Why are you here?” He asked me suddenly and we move toward the flight deck.</p><p>“What do you mean?” I asked feeling there was something more to the question.</p><p>“Do you care about me, am I just a good fuck? Are we a couple or are you just spying on me for Tseng?” He asked and my face fell, did he know I had messaged Tseng? Could he read minds? I mean that ice thing was kinda cool but hella scary and who knew what else they could do.”</p><p>“Tseng?” I said it in such a way that he’d maybe give me more info.</p><p>“He has a special tone in your phone. Super hearing, remember? I need to know what’s going on here. Are you here for me or Tseng? Why are you here, Reno?” He said and turned to me.</p><p>“You’re my reward.” I said and it was honest. I couldn’t lie to him and he didn’t seem to be able to lie to me. “I need to be near you. I can think when I’m near you. First time I ever saw you I was addicted. I can’t not be near you. I am not the kind of person to sit around analyzing my feelings and crap. But you’re mine. And I’m yours and when everything is right… And look I am telling Tseng what’s going on. I’m freaking out and this is a situation as much as you seem to think it’s just family Drama. Cloud man, I trust you but your family are basically just walking thermo nukes with itchy triggers.”</p><p>“Yeah.” He said. He hesitated and then hugged me very tight. “I’m going to marry Raph. I don’t know what’s going to happen but remember you promised…” he said.</p><p>“Promised what?” I didn’t know what he was talking about.</p><p>“That you would never give up on me.” He said and hugged me, and we walked to the helipad and got on the chopper. Soon we were in the air on our way to the ancient city.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0024"><h2>24. Too Many Cooks</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>4 loves of Cloud Strife<br/>Chapter 24<br/>Too many cooks<br/>Oh, you're a loaded gun, yeah<br/>Oh, there's nowhere to run<br/>No one can save me<br/>The damage is done<br/>Shot through the heart<br/>And you're to blame<br/>You give love a bad name (bad name)<br/>I play my part and you play your game<br/>You give love a bad name</p><p>You give love a and name, Bon Jovi<br/>*****<br/>Raph and Gen<br/>The sun was high when Genesis opened his eyes. The shaking had stopped, and he was warm and swaddled in a sleeping bag and blankets. He heard Raph puttering outside and unzipped the tent.<br/>“What are you doing?” He called and heard Raph stop, move toward him.<br/>“How are you, darling?” Raph asked and leaned his head into the tent. <br/>The smell of Raph engulfed him, the expensive cologne, the smell of his breath and Genesis was lost. He reached up and grabbed Raph, pulled him down and rolled over on him<br/>Raph pushed him away but Gen caught Raph’s hands and pinned them over his head, leaned down and probed Raph’s mouth with his tongue, those kissed fueled by a burning passion. Gen moaned and Raph struggled for a long moment and then submitted, fell back and Gen released his hands.<br/>Raph wrapped his arms around Gen and kissed him back, squirmed under Genesis and the passion, which was already a fire was fanned into a conflagration, a raging, consuming feeling that overwhelmed them both.<br/>Gen leaned hard on Raph and reached down, stroked him manhood and heard Raph groan. He moved his hand to the button and undid Raph’s fly, all the time expertly kissing him. Before Raph could resist, Gen had moved down and taken the erect cock in his mouth and was expertly flailing it with his tongue. <br/>“I can’t” Raph murmured but he didn’t try to make gen stop and while sucking Raph Gen expertly pulled off the jeans and rolled up on Raph, again pinning him against the ground. With his free hand, he undid his own fly and retrieved his own erection and rolled over and encouraged Raph to suck him. <br/>Raph might have said no, but he too was swept up in nostalgia and ardor. He went down on Gen and when he felt adequately lubricated, Gen pushed Raph back again and slipped himself inside. Raph growled and writhed and pulled Gen into him.<br/>Gen fell into a cadence that was forceful but not painful and he grinded into Raph until he felt his lover cumming. Then, with a few strokes he too exploded.<br/>Gen lay on Raph and held him. He knew Raph well enough to know what was coming next.<br/>“Let me up.” Raph demanded. Gen could almost feel the shame. Cloud hung between them.<br/>“I can’t do that.” Gen replied. “We need to talk. Ask yourself, Raph, is it like that with this boy of yours? Does he take you like I do, take your breath and so you get lost in him like you do me?” <br/>“I’m marrying Cloud.” Raph said.<br/>“I can’t let you do that.” Gen said. “It would be a mistake.”<br/>“You’re unstable. You don’t know what you want.” Raph threw at Gen and Raph was becoming desperate to be away now, to reassure himself he was in love with this child and to deny this thing between them. Gen knew he couldn’t let him go.<br/>“You belong with me and you know it.” Genesis whispered in Raph’s ear and kissed him gently. “You belong to me. Stop hiding in this fucking fantasy about this boy. You need a fucking man.” Gen hissed<br/>Tears streamed down Raph’s face and he buried his face in Gen’s chest. “You’re going to fucking die on me again.” Raph said finally, his voice barely a muffled whisper in the fabric on Gen’s chest.<br/>“He’s going to help.” Gen said quietly and Raph pulled back, glared at him. A moment later, Raph hit Gen on his chest, and then again and again and pounded on his chest, weeping in fury.<br/>“Don’t do your fucking experiments on him!” Raph said as he kicked and shoved at Gen. Gen wrapped his arms around his lover and pulled him close, let him spend his rage. <br/>“I just need to take some blood. He’s bringing Reno so the three of you can fight me if I turn into a raging Jenova monster. Raph, I love you.”<br/>“Damn you.” Raph said and fell spent under Gen.<br/>Gen shoved his tongue in Raph’s mouth, though Raph held his lips tight, Gen overpowered him and kissed him deeply. He leaned back and looked Raph in the eyes. “Tell me you don’t love me. Tell me I don’t own you. Say it and I’ll let you go. Tell me you love him more.”<br/>Gen watched as Raph tried to speak, but the words didn’t come and Raph looked away in defeat.<br/>“Good, then it’s settled. You marry me.” Gen said and Raph looked at him in shock.<br/>“Beg pardon?” Raph asked.<br/>“I was going to ask you when I realized I was breaking down. I had planned this romantic thing, with Angeal and Sephiroth and Abbi. And Zack too. A party and at the ended of the evening I was going to get down on one knee and ask…”<br/>“That was a long time ago.” Raph said.<br/>“You still love me.” Gen insisted.<br/>“Cloud needs me. I’m different, Gen. I used to want to be loved but that didn’t help me be a decent person. Being needed has. I love you more, but I love me more when I’m with him.” Raph said.<br/>Gen rolled off him and pulled up his pants. “This isn’t over.” He said and got up and walked over to the fire. “You ready to go?”<br/>Raph got dressed again and grabbed the sleeping bag. He moved over and wrapped it around Gen and hugged him from behind. “I’m sorry.” He said.<br/>“No, Raph, you’re just incorrect. But you’re going to marry me. Not him.” Gen broke down the tent and folded it. “So, ready to go?” He asked.<br/>Raph nodded and sighed. Gen could be stubborn, but so could he.</p><p>*****<br/>Cloud<br/>I got to sit next to Reno. Usually I was in the back with Tseng while Rude co-piloted, but I got to sit in the front and wear the headset. I wish I could say I was graceful and mature but that didn’t happen. <br/>I held the stick and moved it around, making “Pew-Pew” noises and weird static sounds. Reno had to disable that stick so I could play. I was forbidden to touch the pedals or any of the buttons, no matter how pretty they were when the flashed.<br/>Every now and then, Reno would look over at me and roll his eyes. <br/>“You get to be cool all the time.” I threw at him. He smiled.<br/>“You think I’m cool?” He said. He grinned.<br/>“If saying that will make you let me play with the pedals, then yes.” I said and he frowned. I laughed. “Seriously, bae, show me.” I said.<br/>“Nope. You get to be cool on motorcycles, I get to me cool in helicopters.” He told me and I frowned this time.<br/>“I’d teach you how to ride motorcycles like me.” I offered and he leaned over, stole a kiss.<br/>“That is the one reason you are a better co-pilot then Rude. I totally don’t kiss him.” Reno said and the choppers descended into a grassy field. “Ok, see the flashing red button?” H said and I nodded. “Push it.”  I did and the rotors powered down. They kept moving with momentum, but I could feel the drive behind them stop. <br/>“Did I do that?” I asked and he nodded and smiled. “Awesome. You are the coolest boyfriend ever…” I said before I could edit myself.<br/>He glanced over and his jaw set.<br/>“Um, yeah. Cool.” He said.<br/>“I’m sorry.” I offered but he cut me off.<br/>“No, it’s… um, good. Yeah. But you’re engaged.” He offered and flipped a few more switches and got up.<br/>I followed him into the back of the chopper and watched as he unhooked the motorcycles we’d brought for the last part of our journey.<br/>“If I wasn’t engaged?” I asked. He turned and kicked the ramp and it fell with a thump to the ground. He started wheeling the bike out of the chopper.<br/>“But you are.” He said as he descended.<br/>I unhooked the other bike and followed him down. He threw his leg over the bike and smiled at me. “Ready?” He said. I nodded. <br/>As we kicked the bikes to life and tore off into the jungle, the question hung between us and laid on my heart like gas station burritos. <br/>Was I in love with Reno? I had to push that away before it suffocated me to death. I focused on the ride ahead of me and got lost in the speed. </p><p>*****<br/>Raph and Gen</p><p>Gen could feel his youngest brother moving closer and the next brother raging.<br/>“Where the fuck is he?” Sephiroth was demanded, stomping back and forth. Gen could feel Zack near him, a force as calm as Sephiroth was tempestuous. They were a good pair and Gen knew why they’d become close after Angeal and he had vanished. They balanced each other.<br/>People were scurrying around Seth and Gen could feel that whatever answers they were giving him where unsatisfactory.<br/>Seth turned his attention toward Gen.<br/>“What have you done with Cloud?” Sephiroth demanded.<br/>“I’m in a hole, Sephiroth. Remember? You told me to go back and I always do what you say.” Gen threw at Seth.<br/>“I forgot you’re a comedian. I don’t know what fuckery you’re into but leave Cloud out of it. He’s mine.” Seth snapped and sent mental daggers at the older clone.<br/>“I think Cloud said something like ‘You’re not the boss of me’.” Gen retorted.<br/>“I’m begging you, Gen. Just don’t. He’s all I have left.” Sephiroth said, softening.<br/>“I will not hurt him or let him be hurt but I need him.” Gen said, trying to be comforting.<br/>“Is this your blood thing? Because if it is, I’ll give you the damned blood, Gen.” Seth offered. Gen was astounded. The only one Sephiroth had ever acted this way about was Abbi.<br/>“I wish you could, Sephiroth. If this works for me…” Gen said.<br/>“What does that mean?” Sephiroth demanded. A wall of thought shoved at Gen, panic and denial. Sephiroth must know he was very unstable but didn’t want to admit…<br/>“Cloud is more stable than either of us. I need his blood. You do, too.” <br/>“I’m fine.” Sephiroth threw at Gen. Anger flared and Gen stumbled under the weight of it. Raph turned and grabbed him.<br/>“You ok?” He asked. Gen nodded and Raph helped him sit on a log.<br/>“Yeah, Sephiroth is having a temper tantrum in my head.” Genesis said and took out his canteen. He took a deep drink. “He’s pissed because Cloud…”<br/>“Cloud?” Raph asked, his hackle raising at the name.<br/>“Not you, too. What the hell is it with this kid.” Gen asked.<br/>Raph sat down. “Shinra figured out how to make him stable but it was at a great cost. A lot of us… feel guilty about that. He’s… damaged. You and Angeal didn’t have to deal with Andy and Mara…”<br/>“Oh, those two… They did a number of Sephiroth but he syrvived…” Gen said.<br/>“They had rules with Seth. Not with Cloud. They… did terrible things to him. Sexual things and Daz and torture… Hojo had a lot of influence.”<br/>Hojo. That name made a chill crawl up Gen’s back. Hojo was a psychopath. Gen had been given Daz once and the idea of it made him nauseous. <br/>“When I got him back from Mara, he was unconscious for half a day. When I got him back from Andy… He was in the hospital for two days and then unconscious for another week. You should have seen him, Gen. He was a mess. He was mostly catatonic for a few days after that. With Seth it was all superficial but with Cloud they broke his psyche and put in commands.”<br/>“And Sephiroth let this happen?” Gen asked, feeling a bit annoyed. Gen had been gone and it had been Seth’s duty to look after the family.<br/>“He didn’t know Cloud existed. They hid him. Left him with his mother til he was old enough for the military. I didn’t find out about him til he was 16. I signed on the project and followed him til they put him in basic a year and a half later. I thought it would be like Seth, like what they did with him. I didn’t find out how bad it was til I walked in and saw him, bleeding and bruised and… He was very broken when I got him…” Raph was saying but Gen was moving into his mind.<br/>He found Cloud, felt the movement, it was fast, and they were moving through the jungle. He could feel the motorbike and the vibration of it in Cloud’s torso and the feeling of freedom and joy his brother was feeling.<br/>“What did they do you you?” Gen asked. Shame. It washed over Gen and he found himself weeping. He caught hints of images that were trying to escape from behind walls and doors built in this boy’s minds by an enormously powerful, numbing drug. Gen vomited.<br/>He reached for Sephiroth.<br/>“What did they do to him? Where the fuck were you?” Gen asked.<br/>“I was looking for him. They were hiding him from me.” Sephiroth threw back, but he felt guilty, too. “Mother is furious, incensed at their hubris…”<br/>“You’re talking to Mother?” Gen demanded and Seth was caught up, stammered in his brain. “Gods damn it, Seth. Didn’t you learn anything from me? She’s lying!” Gen yelled.<br/>“I’m not talking to her.” Seth snapped but Gen didn’t believe him.<br/>“I’ll be there soon. Don’t move.” Gen growled and stood. “Come on. I turn my back for 5 fucking years, and they all go insane! Where the hell is Angeal?” <br/>“You are not going to like this.” Raph offered and followed Gen back toward the real world.</p><p>*****<br/>Reno<br/>We pulled into the tent city at nightfall. <br/>“Now what?” I asked.<br/>“I need to find them. This is where he said they were.” Cloud offered.<br/>I reached over and grabbed Cloud’s phone and walking into the local tavern. Funny thing about people, the minute they move into an area, the first thing they do is build a bar. And then that bar becomes a repository of all knowledge.<br/>I entered and walked up to the bartender and showed him a picture of Raph. A lot of my job for the Turks was flashing pictures and when I found the person, I’d beat the shit out of them. Sometimes terminally.<br/>“I think he came in with Lauren.” The bartender said and pointed to a pretty girl at the end of the counter.  I grabbed Cloud’s hand and pulled him toward her. Mostly so she’d know he was taken.<br/>“You Lauren?” I asked and she nodded. I showed her Raph’s picture.<br/>“Never seen him.” She said and went back to her beer. I know violence flashed on my face because boo touched my chest and pushed me back a little. I love it when he puts his hand on my chest. <br/>“He’s my fiancé.” Cloud said and she turned and looked at him.<br/>“You are hot.” She smiled and Cloud grinned back.<br/>“Yeah, we’re all attractive people, where the fuck is Raph?” I demanded and she stood.<br/>“You’re Cloud, who are you?” She asked me.<br/>“Reno.” I offered and pulled Cloud close to me. She stood and walked out of the bar and we followed her. She took us up the street and to this ladder which we climbed and at the top were a couple of old ruins and a forest. She pointed at the forest.<br/>“I fucking hate trees.” I muttered and I felt Cloud grab my hand. <br/>“Thanks, Lauren.” Cloud was saying and moving toward the woods.<br/>“You can’t go in there.” Lauren called.<br/>“I agree but what is your reason?” I said and Cloud threw me a glare.<br/>“People get lost in there. Its… magical.”<br/>I frowned. “Magic forest?” I asked.<br/>“He said he’d be back in three days. I’ve seen him in action and if anyone can get back out of there, it’s Raph.” She said with admiration in her eyes. It suddenly occurred to me that Raph might have been turning over a new leaf like everyone thought.  Still, the Raph I knew would throw a baby off a building if there was a profit in it. <br/>But Cloud brought out something in him and I saw that mirrored in Lauren’s eyes. If Raph could become someone decent maybe I could? <br/>“He also said if he didn’t come back to tell you that he really loves you and thanks for letting him know about Genesis. He said that was when he knew you loved him.<br/>“What does she mean by that?” I demanded. <br/>“I might have kind of told Raph the Gen was still here. Not dead. I mean, I felt him, but I knew he was unconscious.”<br/>“Gods damn it, Cloud.” I groused and he frowned.<br/>“He’s my brother.” Cloud offered.<br/>“He’s the Butcher of fucking Midgar!” I said, louder than I intended. I noticed Lauren was looking at me.<br/>“He went in there for Genesis?” She said. I nodded. <br/>“What the fuck am I in the middle of?” Lauren asked.<br/>“Honey, I been asking myself that for most of my life.” I said. <br/>“It’s ok, he’s weak. He isn’t dangerous to anyone.” Cloud was saying. <br/>“I hope your right. If not, we take care of him now, yes?” I said.<br/>“Fine.” Cloud said and we went back and got a room at the local inn. <br/>Inn is another of those misnomers, this was a tent with three cots. We had two of them and I pulled them together, so they were kinda like one bed. We were exhausted and after a meal of some unidentified meat soup we lay down and I put my arms around Cloud. <br/>Raph would be back soon and Cloud would be marrying him. I didn’t have any idea how that would work but I thought it might not involve me and that was killing me. I needed to be close to him, to touch him tonight. I was afraid a time might come soon when I might not get to hold him.</p><p>*****<br/>Cloud<br/>I lay on the cot with Reno wrapped around me. I knew he was probably questioning my stability, but I didn’t know what unstable would feel like so I couldn’t alleviate his fears.<br/>I felt my brothers in the back of my mind, both passionate and angry with each other and I was somehow in the middle. I could tell Seth was trying to figure out where I was and so I concentrated on Reno and his breathing. That had the side effect of being pleasant.<br/>Just then I felt a tug at my brain and I moved my consciousness in that direction. It was Gen. He was lost and it was dark.<br/>“Which side are we on from you?” he asked.<br/>I thought about it. “Left.” I said. I felt him shift in that direction. “Seth is looking for us.” I thought at him.<br/>“Yep, but I don’t want to see him just yet. Cloud. I need some blood from you, for the instability.”<br/>“Yeah, I know. And yes, of course. As long as you aren’t going to bite my neck or anything.” I said.<br/>“No. that’s Vincent.” He joked. And I had no idea who that was. “Can you keep your brain open so I can orient?” He asked.<br/>“Can I ask you a question?” I asked.<br/>“Quid quo Pro.” Genesis said definitively. I smiled.<br/>“How can I trust you?” I asked. “Seth says your insane and that I should kill you. Reno is terrified of you. They keep calling you the Butcher of Midgar.”<br/>“Yeah, I deserve that. Do you know what Mako is, Cloud?” He asked.<br/>“Yeah, Lifestream. A kind of energy, liquid sometimes and then gas that they use to make energy in the reactors.” I said.<br/>“No, it’s not just some liquid. This is going to sound insane but it’s more than that. It’s, its people. You know how they say we go back to the Lifestream when we die. That’s literal.” Gen said.<br/>“So, the Lifestream, Mako, is heaven?” I asked, skeptical.<br/>“Not a bad analogy. Look I’m not asking you to just accept it. I’m asking you to consider if I’m correct. What are the implications of destroying the Lifestream, or burning Mako…”<br/>“Are you suggesting that we’re killing undead people?” I asked.<br/>“If we are, Cloud…”<br/>“That would be like… A crime against humanity. It would be, unthinkable…” I said.<br/>“I believe it, Cloud and I’m not the only one. I wasn’t trying to blow up Midgar. I didn’t kill a lot of innocent citizens like they said. I was insane and out of control, I won’t lie but I was trying to do the right thing. Those reactors are killing this planet and all the people on it. Like, real death. We go into the Lifestream and we come back. But not if we get used in a reactor to run a lightbulb… If this works and I become stable…”<br/>“Are you going to pop a wing and march on Midgar?” I asked and he laughed.<br/>“No, but I won’t lie. I’m going to do everything I can to shut down those reactors. I’ll try doing it the right way, but I will see it’s done. I have allies…”<br/>“Promise me you’ll talk to me before you burn anything down. I’m going out on a limb for you here.” I said.<br/>“Ok, yeah. I promise. My turn. How do you stay so stable? What did they do that made you stable? I can’t believe it’s just torture. We’ve all been tortured.”<br/>“They weren’t just torturing me. They were studying my brain chemistry. They found out that the Cortisol cascade causes the genetic mutations to occur, so they put stuff in my head to counter it…”<br/>“What did they put in there?”<br/>“They made me Glitch. When the stress gets to a certain level, I have seizures and I have to initiate a chemical cascade.” I stopped and rolled over and held on to Reno. He murmured my name in his sleep. I smiled.<br/>“How?” he asked. He didn’t press. I knew he was way better at this telepathy stuff and if he wanted to, he could have ripped the information out of my head, but he didn’t. He was very patient, and I felt some affection there.<br/>“Sex and violence.” I confessed and my thoughts bled through an image of Reno, his face hovering over me a mask of passion and a rush ran over my skin, gooseflesh, arousal, things I always associated with Reno. <br/>“Reno Sinclair?” Gen said with a grin.<br/>I shut my mind down. “When I was in Inchon, I found out that combat and masturbation worked.” I offered.<br/>“But not as well as a little spank and tickle with a Turk?” He asked with a grin.<br/>“Fuck you!” I yelled and suddenly Gen knew who was lying next to me in the inn.<br/>“Is my little brother in love with a Turk…” Gen asked. My mind flared and Gen laughed. <br/>“I’m marrying Raph.” I said decisively. <br/>“Of course, you are.” Gen offered. “But the point here is your stability. I can understand the mental part…”<br/>“You should ask Reno. He talks to the scientists but as near as I can explain the cortisol cascade effects other enzymes and activates stem cells and from that’s where I usually get bored and shove my tongue down his throat… I mean…” I blushed again. He knew I was the competition for Raph and would use anything I told him against me in that battle. <br/>“You’re very young, Cloud.” Gen said, “And life is complicated. You’ve seen too much of it and I’m sorry I wasn’t there to protect you from it.  I’m going to make this right, all of it. And I’m going to steal your fiancé. Fair warning.” Gen thought with an amiable laugh.<br/>“Good luck.” I thought back. “And thanks.” He added.<br/>“For what?” I asked.<br/>“Now I’m not the only gay one.” He said and went back to navigating. </p><p>*****<br/>Gen and Raph<br/>They walked through the night and Gen could tell Raph was tired.<br/>“Hey old man, we’re almost there. And your boy is waiting.” Gen said. <br/>“What?” Raph said. <br/>Gen pointed to the opening, the bright light or normal space ahead of them and put his arm around Raph’s shoulder. <br/>“Need me to carry you?” Gen asked and Raph smacked his shoulder playfully. <br/>“I can make it if you can. You’re older them me, remember?” Raph teased.<br/>“Yeah, but I’m not strictly human. And I can see that without a good drill sergeant you let yourself go soft..”<br/>“What did you mean, my boy is here?” Raph asked ignoring the gibe.<br/>“I called him. He and his lover are waiting for us at the end of the trip.”<br/>“Reno is here as well? Good.” Raph said with a smile. <br/>“What, are you sleeping with both of them? That’s just greedy!” Gen charged.<br/>“I’m not the same man you left, Gen. I get what I want. Reno and Cloud are a set, and a rather pretty one. And having a Turk in my bed can only help. I’m not sleeping with him, not yet. But…” Raph said and Gen looked at him.<br/>“Well you were paying attention to something I taught you.” He smiled. Gen reached for Cloud and woke him. “I found it, thank you.” He said. <br/>“We’ll be there.” Cloud said and Gen could feel him moving.<br/>*****<br/>Reno<br/>Cloud woke me and threw me my clothes.<br/>“They’re back.” He said breathlessly and next thing I knew we were on that stupid ladder climbing the hill. I was madly in love with Cloud at that point though I wouldn’t have admitted it under torture, but I would follow him pretty blindly into anything. I was kinda worried though that maybe all of them were going nuts.<br/>Raph came out of the forest and there, behind him was Gen. I’d only met him a time or two, and from what I remembered he looked thin and gaunt.<br/>Raph came over and threw his arms around Cloud, kissed him deeply and then grabbed me, hugged me too. That was awkward and now I figured out that Raph was using Cloud as bait to catch a Turk. Not that he didn’t love Cloud, but why settle for one when you can have two.<br/>Gen grabbed my hand and shook it. “Sinclair.” He said.<br/>“Why the fuck do all you clones call me that?” I asked.<br/>“Cos you’re cute when you’re pissed.” He said without missing a beat. <br/>I flipped him off and he laughed, and I could see why Tseng liked him. His smile was easy, and he was good looking. He looked a lot like an older version of Cloud with dark hair. His hand went to Raph’s back the way mine went to Cloud’s. <br/>“What do you need, Genesis?” Cloud asked him.<br/>“I vial of your blood. If I can analyze the chemicals, I might be able to pull that factor that makes you stable.<br/>“Or I could spank you.” I said with a grin. They all looked at me. <br/>Just then someone showed up behind us. I turned and it was Seth.<br/>“Hi, brother.” Gen said.<br/>“I should kill you now. Get the hell away from Cloud.” Seth growled.<br/>“He’s my brother too and he can go wherever he wants.” Gen said.<br/>“He doesn’t know you.” Seth spat. <br/>“You’re just mad because I beat you.” Gen said. “I got past your brilliant defense and made you look stupid in front of your master.” <br/>“Oh dear.” Raph said.<br/>“My master? I’m not the one who was all over Rufus.” Seth said.<br/>“You slept with Rufus too?” I asked and Cloud threw me a look. I stepped back out of the argument.<br/>“Haven’t you caused enough trouble. Just leave Cloud alone.” Seth raged.<br/>“He can make his own decisions…” <br/>“Stop!” Cloud screamed, grabbed his head and collapsed at my feet in a full-blown seizure. We all moved for him but I got to him first and leaned over him, rolled him on his side and held him close.<br/>“No, all of you get the fuck away from him.” I growled and waited for the seizure to pass. Then I picked him up and carried him back toward the village. I got to the ladder and turned around looked at the three of them. <br/>“Well? Come on. We need to get a vial of his blood now and after I fix him.” They followed me into the tent town and helped me get him to the inn.</p><p>*****<br/>Cloud.<br/>I woke up in Reno’s arms.<br/>“What happened?” I asked as we moved toward the Inn.<br/>“Glitch, bae. I carried you back. Maybe you should lay off the Panic!burgers” He said. He was breathing hard.<br/>“So, are you breathing hard because I’m fat?” I asked and he grinned.<br/>“You could lose a few.” He said and put me down. My knees went out and I leaned on him. <br/>“Just a few more steps and we’ll be at the inn.” He said.<br/>“Seriously. You’re going to fuck me there? It’s a tent. There’s less then no privacy.” I said.<br/>“Well? What’s your idea?” He asked and I kissed him.<br/>“Let’s sneak off to the woods.” I whispered.<br/>“Sounds good. Maybe some of those ruins have some privacy. But first we need a blood sample for Gen.”<br/>I nodded and we went into the inn. He took out the first aid kit and took out a syringe and drew some of my blood. <br/>“You know, for a thug you’re really good with this medical stuff.” I said.<br/>“The guy I’m fucking is a gimp. Sick all the time,” he offered.<br/>“Fuck you.” He said and I laughed. <br/>****<br/>Reno<br/>I walked out and handed Gen the syringe. “You need to go and find a way to preserve that. I’m going to handle Cloud.”<br/>Raph gave me a look and I glared back. I looked at Gen and then back and he looked away, guilty.<br/>Cloud was right. Things were changing in our group. I grabbed a couple of blankets and he and I walked out of town. I could tell Raph wanted to stop us, but Gen needed him. <br/>Cloud seized again and I sat with him, held him on his side so if he vomited it wouldn’t choke him. The jerking eased and just then I saw something moving in the undergrowth.<br/>“Cloud.” I said. He roused a little and grabbed Ototo and stood up beside me, woosey and off balance but present.<br/>Three creatures came out of the brush, one from behind and it hit Cloud hard. <br/>“Shit!” He sputtered and wheeled, swinging his sword but not finding much purchase as the creature had caught him off guard and stunned it.<br/>I blurred behind the other two and struck them with the baton, sparks shorting their nervous systems and stunning them.<br/>Hefinally got his head together and finished off the beast that had struck him and turned to me, lunged at another beast. I was captivated, I’d never really seen him in combat before and he really did live up to the term super soldier. There was power and grace and strength. He moved from one Kata to another, his blade flashing and the beast was dead almost as soon as he began his attack, he wheeled in mid-kata and changed target. I stood and watched, not necessary in this situation<br/>He came down with the sword final time and all three monsters were dead..<br/>“That was hot. You are getting so fucked.” I said and I reached out and grabbed him, pulled him to me and kissed him hard. He responded and we fell together there in the jungle, weapons discarded in our passionate haste.<br/>This was different, he was more aggressive than usual and pushed me over on my back and before I knew it he was entering me, moaning and kissing me, fucking me hard. <br/>It was amazing. He searched my body with his mouth as he probed me and talked almost the whole time.<br/>“God, Reno, you drive me insane. I need you, baby, god you are so fucking hot.” It drove the ego, which is the biggest part of sex for a guy and I came twice before he peaked.<br/>“I love you, Reno.” He said as he came, and I felt like someone had hit me with a defibrillator.<br/>A hundred words stuck in my throat, most of them agreeing with him about the whole love thing and I thought I’d fucking cry. I pushed him off me.<br/>“Fuck man.” I said and got up, got dressed. “We need to get your blood sample.”<br/>I took out another syringe and drew some blood.<br/>“I’m sorry.” He said. “I didn’t mean…”<br/>“Don’t say you didn’t mean it. Don’t. Just. Let’s just let it hang in the air for now. I’m trying to get there, Cloud…”<br/>“To loving me?” He asked.<br/>“I suck with emotions, ok? I’m a sociopath. Can we just enjoy this, whatever it is?” I asked.<br/>He nodded but looked sad and I knew I’d fucked up. I did love him. I knew it I, just couldn’t face it out loud and now I’d lost him.<br/>“What about Raph?” I asked, more to distract from the storm raging in my chest. “You’re marrying him.”<br/>“Yeah. Yeah I am. I love him. And he loves me.” He offered and that list but was a slap in the face. I wanted to yell that I loved him too, that he was mine, but nothing came out and I grabbed my clothes.<br/>He got up and dressed and we walked back into town.</p>
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<a name="section0025"><h2>25. Beginning of the end</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The 4 Loves of Cloud Strife<br/>Chapter 25<br/>Beginning of the End<br/>Lonely rivers flow<br/>To the sea, to the sea<br/>To the open arms of the sea<br/>Lonely rivers sigh<br/>"Wait for me, wait for me"<br/>I'll be coming home, wait for me</p><p>Unchained Melody, the Righteous Brothers</p><p>Reno<br/>Cloud was sleeping on my shoulder in the bar when Raph, Gen and Seth came back in. Raph came and tried to take Cloud from me.<br/>“Fuck off.” I said. <br/>“He’s my fiancé.” Raph said.<br/>“Seems like you got yourself another toy now.” I snapped and looked at Gen.<br/>“I couldn’t leave him. If it were Cloud, what would you have done?” He asked and put a hand on my shoulder.<br/>“You stressed him. He hasn’t glitched in weeks, you know that? Seriously. You three need to stop fighting. What’s next? What are we going to do? You plan on keeping all three of us?” I growled and took another drink of the scotch. “Sheesh, even the booze here fucking sucks.” <br/>“You are the only one I’ll share him with, and you know that. We can talk later…” Raph said.<br/>“I’m not going to be in the way for a while. You guys work this out. I need a lab. I’m going to be gone for a while, too. I need to figure out the compound and…” Gen said.<br/>“You taking Raph?” Seth asked and glared at them.<br/>“I’m marrying Cloud.” Raph said and lifted him, started to take him out of the tavern.<br/>“Where are you going?” I asked.<br/>“I’m going to put him down in the Inn and then we can all talk, plan.” He offered.<br/>“I got a plan. I can take Cloud someplace sane and you guys can do whatever weird bullshit you got planned.” I finished the scotch and stood.<br/>“I think he should get a say.” Seth offered and we all looked up at him. I nodded. <br/>“I can use the lab at Nibelheim. You and Raph can take Cloud home. Seth…” Gen was saying. Seth looked like he was going to explode.<br/>“You aren’t in charge anymore. Remember? You tried to blow up fucking Shinra.” He said, his voice low and controlled.<br/>“Yeah, well, while I was gone, you let our brother be tortured. The Mako is still flowing and…”<br/>“Don’t you dare. And don’t you start your stupid conspiracy theories. Do what you need to and get level but stop…”<br/>“How’s Mother.” Gen gibed. Seth wheeled on him and the next thing I knew they were on the floor, tussling. I grabbed Raph and Cloud and blurred them out of the room. Cloud woke and looked up at us. He smiled. <br/>“My two-favorite people.” He said. And hugged Raph. “I missed you.”<br/>Behind us the fight erupted into a full brawl with Gen and Seth rolling out the door as the patrons inside continue to smash glasses and furniture.<br/>“Are you both happy?” I said, and Seth punched Gen in the face. Gen rolled away and cartwheeled backwards, catching Seth in the face with his foot. Seth flipped backwards and landed on his back. <br/>“Stop it!” Cloud screamed and they both turned, looked at us. “What the hell is wrong with you two? We are brothers. Let’s get Genesis stable and then see where we go from there.” Cloud said.<br/>“He’s still going to have the whole conspiracy theory when we’re done.” Seth said.<br/>“And you will still be talking to Mother.” Gen threw back.<br/>Cloud jerked toward Seth and his eyes narrowed. “You promised you weren’t.” He hissed.<br/>“I’m not. I’m in control. It’s ok…” He said but he sounded desperate even to me.<br/>“You do what you have to do and work this the fuck out.” Cloud said and stepped into Seth. Seth stepped back.<br/>As he said that a man ran out of the bar. He was stumbling toward Genesis but Raph grabbed him and righted him before he fell into Gen. “Ouch.” Raph said and grabbed his arm where the man had felled on him and shoved the drunk away. “We need to get out of here.” He said with a little yelp. <br/>“Yeah. Yeah, I got it. I’m meditating and fighting her.” Seth said. He reached out and hugged Cloud. “I need you, brother. You help. You make me stronger.” <br/>I had never seen Sephiroth weak. He backed down from Cloud. “Don’t just don’t give me up, If I lose myself, just, do what they made you for.”<br/>“It’s not going to come to that. We’re going to fix it. Maybe what Gen finds…” Cloud offered and hugged his brother back.<br/>“Yeah. I’m not unstable, Cloud. She’s just pressing, you know. I’m fine, I’m not talking to her.” He said.<br/>Cloud and Gen exchanged a look. “We need to get out of here.” Gen said, the bru-ha-ha behind us was quieting and attention would soon turn to us. <br/>“We have two motorcycles.” I offered.<br/>“We have two as well,” a voice behind us said. I turned and it was Zack. His eyes went wide, and he looked at Gen. “You son of a bitch!  I thought you died! You fucking ditched me!”<br/>“Can we talk about it when no one is going to arrest us?” Gen asked. We all moved to the motorcycles. I shove Cloud on one and climbed on behind him. <br/>“Try not to jump over anything or scare me.” I said and wrapped my arms around his waist. <br/>“OK, so, you’re bringing the bitch to riding bitch?” he said and kicked the bike to life and took off. I tossed the keys to the other bike to Gen as we passed and smacked Cloud in the back of the head.<br/>“Oh, sorry. Hand slipped.” I said and he laughed.<br/>Cloud<br/>Reno’s chopper was there, and out in the water the boat Seth and Zack had come on. <br/>“Mine’s faster,” Reno said, and we rolled our motorcycles up on the deck of the Helicoper.<br/>“Fine.” Seth, Gen, Zack and Raph joined up. Seth called the boat and sent them home. It was an uncomfortable flight, the three of them glaring at each other and so I left my family and went into the cockpit to hang with Reno.<br/>“So?” he asked.<br/>“They’re shooting daggers at each other, but I don’t think they’re going to fight.” I said and grabbed the stick. <br/>“Hang on.” He said and flipped the switch to turn it off. I started playing with the stick.  “You’re such a child.” He said and laughed.<br/>“Half the reason I do it is to amuse you. So, what you said to Raph, about him trying to collect both of us? Do you think that’s true?” I asked.<br/>“Well, you’re hot and I’m a Turk.” He said and smiled.<br/>“You’re kinda hot, too.” I offered. “Where are we going?”<br/>“I’m going to take Gen to Nibelheim and then the rest of us back to the Desert house. I’m holding you accountable for the mess that is about to happen.” He said and I stuck my tongue out at him.<br/>“Do you want me to marry Raph?” I asked.<br/>“I didn’t know I get a say.” He replied. He had that look on his face that meant he didn’t want to talk about this.<br/>“Yes, I think you do.” I said finally and he did a double take at me.<br/>“Why do I get a say? I mean, marry him if you want. As long as it makes you happy.” He said. “You going to invite Gen?” He asked, changing the subject.<br/>“Sure. You and he and Seth and Zack can be my groomsmen.” I joked.<br/>“I’m the best man. Don’t forget that.” He offered. <br/>I nodded. I looked in the back and Raph was sitting beside Gen looking a bit sad. I got up and went back, and patted Reno on the shoulder as I passed, and he slapped my ass. I walked over to Raph and pushed him back and sat in his lap.<br/>“How are you feeling?” I asked.<br/>“Unloved if I must be honest. Really. I expected you to throw yourself on me and declare your undying love.” He said and nuzzled my neck.<br/>“I wondered if maybe you were… with Gen. You’d changed your mind.” I whispered in his ear.<br/>“I am marrying you, Cloud Strife. I love you.” He said.<br/>“And Reno? Will you keep him too?” I asked.<br/>“Would that make you happy?” He asked. I nodded. <br/>“Do you find him attractive. I mean, are we doing some kind of Polygamy thing?” I gave him a hug as I spoke.<br/>“Yes, if you like. I think it might be nice to have the two of you warming my bed.” He grinned and kissed my cheek.<br/>“And Gen?” I asked.<br/>“I love him, but when we’re together, I don’t like me. I loved him when I was younger when I was a different person. You remind me of the person I wanted to be when I was with him. I love me better when I’m with you.” He said.<br/>“Are you feeling alright?” I asked. He seemed a little off.<br/>“I’m fine, dear, just tired. I haven’t slept on the ground in a very long time. Not as young as I used to be.” I sat beside him and pulled him into shoulder. <br/>“Sleep. I’ll keep you safe.” I said and ran my fingers through his hair. He chuckled and laid he head on my chest. I looked up and Gen was giving me an odd look. I couldn’t read it. <br/>Raph went to sleep on my shoulder and we rode to Nibelheim in silence.</p><p>Reno<br/>I needed to get somewhere I could call Tseng. I had a what was basically a full load of nuclear material in my Chopper and they were arguing. Three of the four Super Soldiers. And their infighting was the list of the issues.<br/>Seth was unstable, Gen was the Butcher of Midgar and Cloud was acting techy. I wanted nothing more than to get him away from the influence of his family and I was pissed at all of them about the Genesis thing.<br/>I touched down in Nibelheim near the Shinra Mansion. I hoped Hojo wasn’t here. That was the last thing I needed. <br/>Cloud got out with the rest of the circus and I took the moment to dial Tseng.<br/>“Reno? Where are you?” he asked.<br/>“No time. Genesis is back. Raph found him and resurrected him. He was in the Lifestream or something. Seth is unstable and Cloud says he’s talking to his mother.”<br/>“And Cloud?” He asked.<br/>“Techy. I need to get him away from them. I think he’s stable. I don’t know about any of this. They are making me nervous.” I said.<br/>“Should I send Rude?” He asked.<br/>“Not yet. I’m dropping Gen off in Nibelheim. He has some of Cloud’s blood and is going to try to make himself stable with it.” I said.<br/>“You sure that’s prudent? He inquired and I nodded. <br/>“There is a large Shinra presence here. If he blows a gasket, we’ll see him. You might want to send Rude here. He’s got a girl here.” I said. You’re welcome, Rude.<br/>“Fine keep me in the loop.” He said and I hung up. Cloud came in.<br/>“You ok?” He asked and I nodded. <br/>“Yeah, get rid of as many of your brothers as you can here and let’s go.” I threw at him.<br/>“You don’t like them very much.” Cloud said and frowned. He walked over to me and sat in my lap.<br/>“Not at all. I like them. They just scare the shit out of me. They aren’t people, Cloud. You know that better than anyone.” I said.<br/>“Neither am I.” He returned and frowned.<br/>“No, you aren’t. You are more, they are more. They are tac nukes waiting to go off. They aren’t stable. And when they go off there’s a death toll. You need to keep Seth near you. I mean it, Cloud, if he loses it, bad things will happen, very bad things.” I said and I could feel a little panic rising. It was really just dawning on me how serious things were.<br/>“It’ll be ok, Bae, it will work out. The prophesy…” he said, and I nodded. I reached over and grabbed him. Pulled him close. <br/>“Yeah. The prophesy.” <br/>Gen and Raph had some kind of moment. I could tell by the guilty look he had on his face when he climbed in the chopper. Refueling was done and I took off as soon as possible. <br/>Cloud<br/>When we landed, I could tell something was wrong with Raph. He was pale and tired. I took him upstairs and tucked him in. <br/>“It’s a cold or something. I’m not as young as I was.” He said.<br/>“You keep saying that, but you aren’t even fifty yet.” I offered and fluffed his pillow. “I’m going to draw you a bath and get you some soup.” I said.<br/>“Do not cook.” He warned and I laughed. <br/>“Reno is cooking. He’s actually really good at it.” I said and Raph nodded. I went and drew him a bath.<br/>I came back and he was sleeping so I drained the tub and went to get his soup. I came up and woke him and fed him.<br/>“I like it when you tend me.” He said with a smile. “And this is very good. He’s an excellent cook.” He said with a surprised grin.<br/>“Yeah, a man of many talents.” I smiled.<br/>“Do tell, what else do I have to look forward to?” His grin was wry, but he did look tired.<br/>“Well, let me just say he might show you a trick or two with a crop.” I said.<br/>“Something to look forward too. You need to go back to Inchon, don’t you?” He asked and took another sip of the soup.<br/>“No, I can stay. I’ll get a family leave. I have a wedding to plan, too.” I said.<br/>“I’ll handle that. I’ve already picked out the suits and can order them this afternoon. My tailor has your measurements and can have them by Thursday. I think wedding planning is a bit more my forte.” He offered and I rubbed his shoulder.<br/>“I don’t want to leave you.” I said.<br/>“And I don’t want you to get court-martialed. You already left without permission and Seth had to cover for you. Go back and when you get back, we’ll be married. And besides, you have to find out about your Soldier first class. A lot of people are pulling strings for you. Least you can do is show up.” He said and it was reassuring.<br/>“Are you sure? You’re more important.” I said.<br/>“And that is why I’m marrying you and not Gen. Go. I mean it.” He said.<br/>“Tomorrow,” I offered and snuggled up next to him.<br/>“Go tell the other one I want him here, too.” He said. I leapt up and went down and got Reno.<br/>He was in the kitchen, glaring at Seth, watching him for any sign of feathers.<br/>“Come to bed.” I said and he looked up at me sharply.  Seth looked up too and frowned.<br/>“Might as well.” Seth sneered and Reno stood, looked a little nervous and followed me upstairs.<br/>“Shoes.” Raph said as he entered the bedroom and Reno kicked off his shoes and Raph motioned for him to climb in the bed. He then put me in the middle. “Alright. We need to talk, all of us. Things are changing.” He began<br/>“I’ll say.” Reno offered.<br/>“We can be civilized. Reno is more mobile and can follow you places a VP of Shinra can’t. But he is welcome to come and live here, with us as part of our family.”<br/>“You trying to get a Turk in your favor?” Reno asked.<br/>“I will do anything to keep Cloud. I’m a businessman.” He said.<br/>“If you can’t beat em, buy ‘em,” I sighed.<br/>“Yes, very succinct. And having a Turk on my side and in my bed is indeed fortuitous. And a good-looking Turk, at that.” He said.<br/>“I got to think about this.” Reno said. “But flattery is certainly working in your favor.” He added with a smile.<br/>“Well, you will have the next few weeks in Inchon because you are both being called back. Now, I need to sleep. So, get comfortable, both of you.” He rolled over and fell asleep almost instantly.<br/>“So, what just happened?” Reno asked.<br/>“I think he just adopted you.” I offered and rolled into Reno’s arms and went to sleep. </p><p>Cloud<br/>First day back in Inchon and we were back on peace talk duty. The three of us in our dress uniforms, standing behind the desks at which the peace talks would be held, guardians of the proceedings. <br/>I was playing with my phone and Seth reached over and took it from me, put it in his jacket.<br/>“You going to watch the boy, or should I?” Seth grinned and watched my ears turn red.</p><p>“Big job, I mean he did botch the Soldier exam.” Zack said. I shot them both a dirty look.</p><p>“Look I only failed because someone talked about my little break down.” I whined.</p><p>“They probably looked more closely because you’re dating Reno. I mean, I date your sanity...” Zack said.</p><p>“Bite me.” I said. </p><p>The flag bearer’s came past and we stood at attention, waited for the pomp and ceremony to pass and then the ambassadors and the honor guards and we took our seats at the peace talks. We agreed unanimously that this was our least favor duty but at least I had Reno to entertain me on the off hours and wedding plans to take my mind off it.</p><p>After the day of listening to them blather on, we were allowed to go, and I called Reno. </p><p>“Hey, Boo.” He said but he sounded winded.</p><p>“Where are you?” I asked. </p><p>“Go a call from Tseng and had to check some stuff out. I’m in the freakin’ jungle walking toward some kind of meteor or some shit. Fucking bugs and mud and…” He groused.</p><p>“You poor thing.” I said, with a grin.</p><p>“Fuck you.” He replied. “Oh, got to go, I’ll be back in a few hours.” He said and hung up.</p><p>“Well, looks like I’m stuck with you guys.” I said.</p><p>“Aw, your playmate busy?” Zack asked.</p><p>“Yup.” I said, “So, what are we going to do?” I asked.</p><p>“Well, our lives aren’t as thrilling as yours, we don’t have rich sugar daddies to buy us entertainment directors…” Zack said and I stuck my tongue out at him.</p><p>“Oh, come on. Leave the boy alone.” Seth said. “He only has one of his lovers here. I’m sure he’s completely out of sorts.” He added and Zack chuckled.</p><p>“Yeah, but I got to have something to chap his ass over.” Zack said.</p><p>“Well he did fail the soldier exam…” Seth reminded. I sigh and waited for them to get it out of their systems.</p><p>“Oh, yeah. I forgot.” Zack smiled.</p><p>“Screw you guys. Tseng said it’s a matter of s few days before I get to retake the psyche and prove I’m stable. You won’t have me much longer anymore anyway. When Raph and I get married I’m shipping back stateside and becoming a kept man.” I grinned.</p><p>“Yeah, did you decide which one of us is standing up for you?” Zack asked.</p><p>“His brother, of course.” Seth told him.</p><p>“Traditionally it’s the best friend. BEST man.” Zack said.</p><p>“Reno already asked first.” I said and felt my phone buzz in my pocket.</p><p> </p><p>I hated being away from Cloud but I did occasionally have to work. I was getting spoiled being his professional playmate.</p><p>“I need you to check something out. There has been a report of a meteor in the jungle just a few clicks north of where you are. Can you check it out?” Tseng asked.  He was sitting in our office and suddenly I missed civilization more than ever.<br/>“Hum, traipsing through the jungle. Sure. My favorite.” I said sarcastically.</p><p>“You can handle it. You’re a Turk…” he said with an equal amount of snark.</p><p>“Fine.” I got a hand full of troopers and headed that way. </p><p>Two hours later I’m up to my leather wrapped ankles in mud. “Yeah, ok, disgusting.” I groused and one of the Shinra’s smiled. “Something funny, trooper?” I asked. He shook his head and fought the smile off.</p><p>My phone rang and it was Cloud. I explained the situation and he was as unsympathetic as I thought he’d be. After he hung up, we made it to the site.</p><p>As we entered the clearing, I looked up and saw Hojo. That didn’t bode well.</p><p>“You’re under arrest!” I yelled and dropped the baton into my hand. </p><p>He stood, looked at he and laughed. “Or maybe I’ll take you for a few of my experiments? You are very interesting to me. You are one of the few humans to ever develop a wild talent. I wonder if you had Jenova in your original DNA.” He said. </p><p>I moved my hand and the Shinra’s with me all locked and loaded. It was a terrifying sound. Hojo’s smile faded. </p><p>“I would love to chat with you, Sinclair, about your DNA, your relationship and the final moments of my previous companions but it seems you don’t want to chat. Later, though?” He threw a grenade and vanished into the jungle. I blurred in that direction and heard a jeep pulling away quickly. I followed but soon last it.</p><p>“Damnit!” I yelled as the jeep moved rapidly toward the horizon. </p><p>I returned to the clearing and there was an impact crater. Whatever was in it, Hojo had already taken.</p><p>I called Tseng.</p><p>“Hey, Hojo was here and took whatever it was. The scientists will be coming… what’s wrong?” I said.</p><p>“Raph. He’s dying. Cloud is being moved out of country. I had an exit for you and you can meet him at the Desert house.’ I nodded and headed back into town.</p><p> </p><p>Cloud</p><p>My phone rang and my hand got sweaty. It was no doubt my Raph.  I keyed the phone to life.</p><p>“Hey love.” I said but looked down and it was Tseng-ue. He looked really… bad. “What… where’s Raph?” I asked.</p><p>“Cloud, I’ve sent a chopper to take you to an exit point. You need to get here.” He said.</p><p>“What?  What’s wrong?” I asked and my gut hitched and I knew the worst thing in the universe was about to happen to me. My meteor was coming.</p><p>“He isn’t good. You need to come now. Have Seth get you to the pad. Tell him to call me.”</p><p>“What? You tell me what!!!” I screamed at the phone and stood.</p><p>Zack grabbed me and Seth took the phone. I struggled with Zack, but he wouldn’t let me go.</p><p>“Zack, what the hell, stop. Please.” I begged.</p><p>You just know when they come to tell you someone you love is in a dying. My heart was breaking, and I didn’t know why. I was suspended in one of those breathless moment where your heart knows something is wrong and it just wants the details. It sits on the precipice between being ok and being totally broken. It’s a physical thing, a pain and a knowing that burns in every muscle and sinew. I held there, waiting for the shoe to drop but it just wouldn’t.</p><p>I needed to know, and I was angry that I was being treated like a child. I was an engaged man, a soldier, 24 years old. Just fucking tell me before my heart explodes.</p><p>Seth listened and his face burned, and he thanked Tseng-ue and hung up.</p><p>“Ototo, we need to go. Raph… He’s been poisoned.” He said and seemed braced to catch me should I fall.</p><p>“Then give him a Poisuna. I don’t…” I said, grabbing at straws. My heart knew it was more complicated than that.</p><p>“It’s molecular poison and he’s too far gone. I’m sorry Ototo.”</p><p>“No, Seth, you take that back it isn’t funny.” I demanded and he looked away, reached out and pulled me close and held me tightly.</p><p>“I love you, Ototo. Let’s go.”</p><p>He pulled me out of the enlisted club.</p><p>My legs were leaden, and I didn’t want to walk but he pushed me and soon the three of us were in a chopper and still my brother held me close. His arms locked out all feeling, all fear and I was numb there and safe and protected. I loved my brother so much.</p><p> We got off at an airbase on the coast and the deployment plane carried us across the sea. Still my brother held me, his arms locked around me holding me together.</p><p>We landed in a helipad on the Gold saucer and Tseng-ue was there. He rushed us through security and pushed me through the halls toward my lover and my life, my Raph.</p><p>“Reno is on his way here.” Tseng-ue offered as we moved toward the car.</p><p>We got to the house and I ran upstairs, into our bedroom.</p><p>He looked so bad and yet I was overjoyed to be with him. I fell to his bedside in a chair that waited for me there and I took his hand and kissed it. That woke him and he turned to look at me.</p><p>“Hello, my love,” he said with a grin. He was sallow and barely had the strength to hold my hand.</p><p>“Hello, my dearest love.” I replied and slid the chair over, laid my head on his chest and listened to his heartbeat.</p><p>“You know why dealing with Shinra is like oral sex?” She asked. I shook my head. “On slip of the tongue and you’re in deep shit.” He said and laughed and then coughed and I pressed a napkin to his mouth and then wiped it when he was finished.</p><p>“Who did this?” I demanded.</p><p>“Open a phone book, love. I have a lot of enemies. Hojo. Some of the other Shinra Execs? Throw a fucking dart.”</p><p>“Don’t you fucking die on me.” I said.</p><p>“Oh, my sweet, I am already dead. Just had to see you one more time.” He offered.</p><p>“There has to be some kind of an antidote or treatment. You want an organ, take one of mine. Hojo will grow me another.” I said.</p><p>“I asked. It’s attacking my enhancements.”</p><p>“So, I’m full of Jenova cells… Let me…”</p><p>He put a finger on my lips. “Just hold me while I rest.”  He feebly scooted over and patted the bed. I laid down beside him and wrapped my arms around him and held him against me.</p><p>“I love you.” I said.</p><p>“I love you, but maybe you shouldn’t be here. Last time you saw me die you fragmented.” He reminded.</p><p>I said nothing but kissed his cheek.</p><p>“I mean it, Cloud. Do not harm yourself when I’m gone.” He said.</p><p>“I love you so much.” I said and stoked his hair until he fell asleep.<br/>.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0026"><h2>26. The search for vengence</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>4 Loves of Cloud Strife<br/>Chapter 26<br/>The Search for Vengeance</p><p>Every move you make<br/>Every vow you break<br/>Every smile you fake<br/>Every claim you stake<br/>I'll be watching you</p><p>Every Breath You Take, The Police</p><p> </p><p>Cloud</p><p>Raph was still there in the morning. The night had been difficult, I sat in bed next to him and listened to him breath, starting at every hitch in that breathing. </p><p>I kissed his forehead and when they brought him his breakfast, I insisted on feeding him.</p><p>“You don’t have to. The nurse will do it.” He said as she walked out of the room.</p><p>“I would cut her tits off if she tried.” I said and he laughed out loud and then sputtered and coughed and I wiped his mouth very carefully.</p><p>“I hate that you have to take care of me like this.” He said and I gave him another spoonful of eggs.</p><p>“You’re 20 years older than me. It was inevitable.” I replied and he chuckled.</p><p>“I had almost forgotten how happy you make me. Do be a love. When I’m gone…”</p><p>“Stop,” I said and crumbled some bacon and put it in his mouth.</p><p>He chewed and swallowed it. “You need to face this. I’m going to die and when I do I want to know you are safe and loved.” He said.</p><p>“I can’t think about that right now. I do not want to waste a second of the time we have left.” I said and fed him more eggs.</p><p>“I want to go home. I don’t want to die in some hospital. Go and tell them to send me home and send Seth back in.” He said.</p><p>“You need..”</p><p>“Do not argue, boy. I order you to go and tell them I want to go home and send Seth in.”</p><p>“What makes you think he’s here?” I asked.</p><p>“Because you are and your brother watches you more closely then I do.” He said.</p><p>I finished feeding him and got up, walked to the nurse’s station. Seth was there, sitting in a chair, Zack standing nearby leaning against a wall.</p><p>“He wants to see you.” I said. Seth nodded.</p><p>“You ok, Ototo?” he asked.  I nodded and yet he still hugged me as I went past.</p><p>I shook my head. “He wants to go home.” I said.</p><p>“Then take him. And stay with him. You’ll both be more comfortable there.”  Seth said from the door of Raph’s room. I nodded again and moved over to the nurse’s station. I started the paperwork to take him home.</p><p>“He signed a power of Attorney for you yesterday.” The nurse was explaining when there was a crash of broken glass from Raph’s room.</p><p>Zack was there first and I was there after. Raph was sitting up in bed rubbing his eyes and shaking his head.</p><p>“Your temper will be the end of us all, Seth.” he was saying.</p><p>My brother stood on the other side of the room, quietly seething.  Zack went to the broken window and was looking down.</p><p>“Chair!” He announced and turned back around.</p><p>“You stay with Cloud. Keep my brother and his lovers safe.” He said to Zack.</p><p>“Little late for that, don’t you think?” Raph said with a morbid humor.</p><p>“Where are you going?” Zack asked.</p><p>“To take care of something.” And he stalked off.</p><p>“We found Andy.” Raph said and coughed again. I flew to his side and wiped his mouth.</p><p>“I miss ALL the cool shit.” Zack said.</p><p>*****<br/>Reno</p><p>I wanted to go to Cloud but I’d been recalled to Shinra tower midflight. A Hojo sighting was apparently a big deal and Shinra himself had wanted to debrief me. Maybe it was fate, though, me being there at that moment.</p><p>Seth got immediately on a thopter and flew to Midgar. He landed on the Shinra tower and walked toward the building. We got a notification and were told to greet him and make sure he didn’t come in and blow up the building.</p><p>Tseng-ue was there with me and I’d just been promoted to second. Tseng-ue moved to bar Seth’s way.</p><p>“You have been good to my brother and my fight is not with you, so please don’t make it so.” He said and his hand fell to the Masamune.</p><p>“I can’t let you pass without knowing your intentions, Seth.” He said.</p><p>“Yeah dude, you look all fucking psycho.” I added. </p><p>“I have to see Shinra.” He offered.</p><p>“Why?” Tseng asked. He was dead calm. My palms were sweating I was still a little afraid of Seth and Cloud wasn’t here to manage him.</p><p>This was one of those moments in history. We see stories of summits and meetings of important men, but this was really one of those moments. More tense that any international incident, more potentially deadly. Tseng-ue and Seth were probably the two most powerful people on the planet at that moment and any battle between then would have been epic.</p><p>Had talks broken down it is very possible that half of Midgar might have been lost that day.</p><p>“He knows where Andy is.” Seth said.  Tseng stepped back as if he had been struck. He nodded and bowed, then stepped out of Seth’s way. I followed them into the building.</p><p>“Prepare the chopper.” He told me and I grabbed my phone to alert my flight crew. “alert the other Turks that we will be… indisposed for a while.” I nodded and made his calls.</p><p>“Yeah, Boss.” I said. I’m impulsive and have no filter and often have no idea what isn’t good for me but I could always read Tseng.</p><p>The two of them entered the building, me in tow. The guards saw Seth and ran toward him, guns out.</p><p>“Stand down.” Tseng told them.</p><p>“Sorry Sir, we have over riding orders to keep Sephiroth out of the building. If you move further, we must fire on both of you.”</p><p>“You have children, do you not?” Tseng asked. I knew they weren’t reading Tseng right. He wasn’t scared or officious. He was insulted. They had suggested they might stand in his way if he decided to enter Shinra’s office. Ie was mice threatening a Rhino.</p><p>Seth looked at Tseng who cocked his head until it popped. He and Seth moved together as if choreographed, bright blades flashing, catching the light and igniting the dim office plaza with falling stars that twinkled and threw up behind them splashes of vermillion.</p><p>I thought about helping but it was too amazing a thing not to watch.</p><p>Tseng came high, his Katana was death from above as it slashed down and severed the arm of one of the guards who screamed and flailed.</p><p>“Do not wail so, child.” Tseng said as he swung the sword down and stabbed behind himself, killing a guard.</p><p>Seth severed one of the guard’s arms with a swing of Masamune and stabbed another though the heart.</p><p>Gunfire erupted then and caught Seth in the chest. He swore and looked for the source.  A Gatling bot was coming down the stairs in a staccato of rounds deploying and ripping up everything in front of it.</p><p>Tseng knocked out another guard and then ran as hard as he could and leapt on the information desk, and then to the lighting fixtures overhead. He made a bee line across to ceiling.</p><p>Seth leapt and dodged but the gun was trained on him. His only reprieve from the insect bites of bullets was the two second cool down spin.</p><p>“Cure!” he yelled, he was never creative with magical words and the wash of green covered him. He used the two seconds well and rolled behind a metal statue for cover.</p><p>Shinra employees were still hitting the stairs and evacuating the building. I stood in the helipad door and watched them.</p><p>Tseng dropped from the ceiling and, with great artistry proceeded to cut this robot into its various pieces.</p><p>“I told you to start the chopper.” Tseng said to me.</p><p>“I did. You want me to just sit there?” He asked.</p><p>“Just don’t wander off, we might want to leave in a hurry.” He said and scattered the pieces of the robot with his foot.</p><p>“Yeah, boss.”  Just then the elevator doors opened up and out came two smaller robots with chain guns and treads.</p><p>“We don’t have time for this.” Seth told Tseng-ue.</p><p>“Yeah, I got it. But I get to go with.” I said and brought out his electric Baton with a snick.</p><p>“Fine. I get the kill,” Seth said.</p><p>“Roshambo ya for it.” I said with a smile and then blurred behind the Robots and began taking them apart. “Love fucking up Shinra shit.” I said as they ascended the stairs.</p><p> </p><p>Reno</p><p>The Shinra offices were different then and the President only occupied a part of the top floor. Tseng pulled a fire alarm to get the stragglers to move along. The whole building was on alert and you could hear, they say, the various defense modes activating with a series of clicks.</p><p>I came up the stairs and saw them standing under the flashing fire alarm lights.</p><p>“You need a heal?” Seth asked.</p><p>“They aren’t shooting at me,” Tseng replied.</p><p>“Yet.” Seth reminded.</p><p>They both looked at me. “Don’t mind me, I’m just along for the ride.” I said.</p><p>Before them there was a corridor lined with offices and reception stations. Phones rang and machines clicked out their messages, but all the humans were gone. At the end of the row was a large door and painted on it was the legend. “CEO and Director President Shinra”.</p><p>They looked at each other and heard marching feet and the clank of machines.</p><p>“Well, this should be interesting.” Seth said and Tseng nodded.  They both drew up into battle stances and held their blades high.</p><p>“They say that blood makes the steel stronger.” Tseng said.</p><p>“Here is to blades that will not break.” Seth said and smiled.</p><p>They were forming up now, a line of some 30 guards and behind them two mechs, one was small and agile and the other burly and already spinning the gatling guns that served for arms.</p><p>It took its first shot at Tseng.</p><p>“Told you.” Seth said as Tseng dodged the bullets.</p><p>Tseng leaned into gravity and ran up the side of the wall and halfway released himself and turned in the air, doing a perfect quarter flip with a twist and landed behind the commander of the guard.</p><p>“I always hated you, Samson.” He uttered as he cut the man’s throat.</p><p>The other guards seemed to know what they were been led into and that it ended with a lot of blood, their blood.</p><p>Now commander-less, they looked at one another. They all leveled their guns and open fire. In the middle of the ranks they opened up and let the robots through.</p><p>Seth stood for a moment considering. He used the Masamune to deflect the bullets and then made a decision. He powered through the left side door next to him and listen as muted screams issued from the other side of the wall. Tseng was an efficient killer and Seth hoped he’d leave some guards for him.</p><p>“You could help!” Seth yelled at me.</p><p>“Naw, you got this. It would be insulting.”  I grabbed a desk chair and sat down.</p><p>“Asshole.” He cursed and I laughed.</p><p>He raised the Masamune and ran at the wall in the direction of President Shinra’s office. As he got to it he cut a massive X with the sword and plunged through.</p><p>He did this two more times and went to the office door and pulled it open. He was behind the guards. Tseng was in the middle of them his Katana dancing in a crimson swirl as men charged him and then died.</p><p>Seth leapt in and landed on top of one of the robots. He wailed at it with Masamune and after four or five swipes it fell into neat pieces and all the life left it.</p><p>Several of the guards turned their attention to him and fired. He deflected their bullets back at them with the flat of the blade and killed three more.</p><p>Tseng took three bullets in the back from the other bot and something like annoyance flashed across his face. He wheel kicked the bot and sent it flying into the wall where it cracked, shot sparks, and then fell to the ground.</p><p>“I do not want to kill the rest of you. Stand DOWN.” Tseng commanded and they all hesitated at the sound.</p><p>“I’d listen to him.” I said.</p><p>They all looked at one another and at the carnage on the floor and stepped back. They all bowed.</p><p>“Yes, Tseng-san.” They said in unison and he looked at Seth.</p><p>“Shall we?” He asked.</p><p>“Sure, you just have to kill people until the survivors become reasonable.” Seth said and motioned for him to go first.</p><p>They walked together to the door. I followed and stood by the door leaning so I could keep my eye on our six.</p><p>“You reckon he has people in their with him waiting to shoot at us again? I hate being shot.” Seth said.</p><p>“Naw, he’s kind of arrogant.” Tseng offered and pulled the doors open.</p><p>They strode in together. President Shinra didn’t look up from the papers scattered on his desk.</p><p>“Do you know how much money you just cost me with your little firefight?” He asked.</p><p>“I just wanted to have a chat. They fired first. You could have just let us in.” Seth said.</p><p>“Well with your temper I can’t be too careful. How can I help you?” He asked.</p><p>“Really just have two questions.” Seth said.</p><p>“Two? Well, that is completely worth the 30 men you two just killed. Do inquire.” He spat.</p><p>“Who killed Raph Nevelle…” Shinra’s head jerked up.</p><p>“What?” It was a genuine reaction.</p><p>“Molecular poison. It’s attacking the Enhancements. I want to find out who has this poison, how I destroy it and then kill them for making my brother upset. Slowly.” Seth said.</p><p>“You too?” He asked Tseng. The boss nodded and it was more of a short bow.</p><p>“I’ll make inquiries. Raph was a good man.” Shinra said and he seemed genuinely affected. “Or is he dead yet?”</p><p>“Matter of time. He has days they said.” Tseng offered.</p><p>“How is Cloud holding up?” Shinra said.</p><p>“Do not pretend you care about a Jenova Clone.” Seth hissed.  Shinra sighed and nodded. </p><p>“Raph is my friend. He cares for Cloud. And so, I do care. Give him my best.” Shinra offered casually. He still hadn’t stopped whatever he was working on.</p><p>“I will have an answer to my first Question. My second will be easier because I know you know the answer. Where is Andy?” Seth offered. Shinra looked at them both. He could tell they meant business.</p><p>“Last I heard he was nosing around the ruins at the Ancient City. That was a few days ago. He rather likes to ski and as I understand Hojo has a cabin up there are well.”</p><p>“Why didn’t you tell me this before. You knew I was looking for him.” Seth said his eyes narrowed.</p><p>“Sorry, that was two. If you’ll excuse me.” Seth used his acceleration to move next to Shinra in a blur.</p><p>“I am growing very weary of you fucking with us.” he hissed in his ear.</p><p>Shinra kept his composure but I could tell Seth could smell his fear, saw a bead of sweat rolling down his cheek.</p><p>The doors snapped open and Rufus came in saw Seth and called for his soldiers.</p><p>“Release my father.” he commanded.</p><p>“Like you care.” Shinra said. “Shut up fool boy. Seth, let me go.”</p><p>Seth eased away and put the Masamune back in its sheath.</p><p>“Only my friends call me Seth. I am going to kill Andy and then I will be back. If you warn him I am coming, I will cut off your hands when I return. And I expect an answer on who killed Raph Nevelle.”</p><p>“Raph Nevelle is dead!” Rufus laughed and just as quickly as he had moved to the Father, Seth moved and grabbed the son, the sword at the boys throat.</p><p>“Laugh again…” Seth said.</p><p>“No, no, I... I’m sorry. Sephiroth.” the boy stuttered.</p><p>“If I find out either of you had involvement in this, I will burn everything you built to the fucking ground.” Seth growled.</p><p>“I swear. We had nothing to do with it.” Shinra said</p><p>Seth relented and let Rufus go.</p><p>“You coming, Tseng?” he asked.  Tseng looked at President Shinra.  </p><p>“Hai.” He said. He turned and followed Seth.  In the corridor I was waiting.</p><p>“Is the chopper ready?” Tseng asked.</p><p>“Yes, for the hundredth time, it’s ready. Sheesh.” I said and we went to the helipad.</p><p>*****<br/>Cloud -<br/>I had installed Raph in our bed with little trouble. He’d made the short flight from the hospital well and his color was good. The only really disturbing symptom was a spiderweb of back veins from his arm, up his shoulder. I remembered that in the Ancient City he had grabbed his arm. I was going to tell Seth when I saw him next.</p><p>“I hired one of the wives of one of the enlisted men to cook for us.” I offered as I climbed on the bed with a tray with a bowl of soup and some juice.</p><p>“Thank god.” Raph said and smiled. I kissed his forehead and put a napkin on his chest.</p><p>“Open.”  he spooned in the soup; it was really good. I’d had a bowl myself.</p><p>“I can feed myself.” he said. I smiled.</p><p>“And take away the one thing I can actually do for you? I got a call from some of the Shinra scientists. They want permission to do some tests, see if they a find an antidote.” I said, casually.</p><p>“They can try, but the medical center has the finest minds…” He offered.</p><p>“Let me have a little hope?” I said.  I gave him another spoonful of the soup. “I love you so much.” I said.  </p><p>“I love you, too. Of course. Yes.”  I fed him the rest of the soup, not much, he could only eat small amounts.</p><p>“I have a surprise for you.” I said.</p><p>“I love surprises.” he said.</p><p>I got up and went into the bathroom where I had my wedding suit. It had been delivered that morning and Raph had insisted that he not see me in it until we were at the ceremony. I put it on and even put on the cravat, I’d had the man at the fitting show me how. I brushed my hair and then called Zack on my smart pad.</p><p>“Bring them up.” I said and a minute later I heard my bedroom door open. I opened the door and stepped out.</p><p>Raph looked overwhelmed at the people entering until he looked at me and then I saw a tear. His mouth dropped open and he sighed. It’s the only time in my life I’ve ever felt handsome.</p><p>Zack was here in his suit and the minister and Jude and Crezz.</p><p>I sat next Raph on the bed.</p><p>“Wanna get married?” I asked.  He hugged me.</p><p>And we did it, we had the ceremony and read the vows we’d written and we exchanged rings. We even had some cake, from the store but still, it was good. And champagne.</p><p>I stood and took off my jacket and sat next to him.</p><p>“Good day?” I asked after everyone had gone.  He nodded and pulled me close to him.</p><p>“I cannot believe my good fortune some days. I love you.” He said and then feel asleep in my arms. I looked at my hand with the ring he’d gotten me. I was married. In three days, I’d be a widower.</p>
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<a name="section0027"><h2>27. An End, a Beginning an Uncertain future.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Reno and Cloud cleave to one another as parts o their lives fall away rushing toward an uncertain future.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>4 loves of Cloud Strife</p><p>Chapter 27<br/>An End, a Beginning, an Uncertain Future</p><p>If I die young, bury me in satin<br/>Lay me down on a bed of roses<br/>Sink me in the river at dawn<br/>Send me away with the words of a love song<br/>Oh-oh, oh-oh<br/>If I Die Young, The Band Perry</p><p>Reno</p><p>I wasn’t going back to the Ancient City. I’d had enough of bugs and camping and bad booze. Beside we just came from there and I knew the bastard wasn’t there. I also knew Shinra well enough to know the first thing out of his mouth was usually a lie.</p><p>“Take us to the Ancient City.” Seth said as soon as we were airborne.</p><p>“Fuck that, We’re going to Icicle Inn.” I retorted. I saw Seth flinch and Tseng put his hand out in front of him. </p><p>“Why? Shinra said…” Seth began but Tseng interrupted him.</p><p>“Reno has been seeing Rufus for several years and has become rather an expert on the Shinras. He has a hid degree of ability to predict their behavior. If he says Icicle Inn, I trust him.”</p><p>“Wait, I thought you and Cloud… Never mind. Fine. But he better be right. I want Andy’s ass in a sling.” Seth growled.</p><p>“Not as much as Reno does.” Tseng said quietly.</p><p>I focused on flying. It was a gift Tseng had given me, teaching me to pilot this machine.</p><p>“It was right after I’d become a Turk. Right after the dark time as Andy’s pet.</p><p>The thought of him still made my skin crawl. I owed him… pain.</p><p>My parents had been drunks and druggies and my sister and I suffered at their hands. We escaped when I was 8 and Aurora was 12. We turned tricks in the wall and sold dope and when I was 10 we got caught up in a sweep and taken to Andy.</p><p>They threw us in a cage and one by one took us out…no one ever came back. So when they came for Aurora I fought them. Andy liked that. He made me a deal I fight and let him do his own personal Jenova experiments on me and Aurora and I got a room with a  cot and two meals a day. I took it.</p><p>And I was a success. I was a fighter anyway and after the pain and the sick of the treatments I was always stronger. The night I blurred for the first time, Aurora and I moved into Andy’s rooms and I moved into his bed. It kept Aurora safe but I didn’t know he’d… He took everything from me and it was just to prove a point and I still dream about the night he killed her and now I was gonna take it out of his ass.</p><p>Reno was coming home.</p><p>*****<br/>Cloud</p><p>Raph coughed. I touched a linen handkerchief to his lips and rubbed his back. </p><p>“You should sleep.”He said as I put down his bowl of soup. “How long have you been awake?”</p><p>“In Inchon I used to do full rotations. 24 hours on duty. In combat it’s worse. I’ll sleep later.”</p><p>“Love…” He started to protest.</p><p>“No Raph. We don’t have time to waste.” I said and he relaxed against my chest. I’d been cautioned to not touch the black marks. It was a contact poison for someone like me. And if it wasn’t for Reno…</p><p>“Alright. Sure. So. Are you and Reno going to move in together when I’m gone?” I asked.</p><p>“We haven’t discussed it and I won’t talk about it now.” I replied.</p><p>“I need to know you’re going to be happy…” He said.</p><p>“I rarely have been before.” I offered and kissed his cheek.</p><p>“Ha ha. There is something between you. I saw it the first time you were ever together. You… calm each other, fit.” He said.</p><p>“Its like gravity.” I said and stroked his hair.  He coughed again and I held him as he shuddered under the weight of his breath.</p><p>Just then there was a knock on the door and I looked at him. He shrugged.</p><p>“Come in.” He said.</p><p>The door opened and I couldn’t believe it. President Shinra. He was carrying a boquet of flowers.</p><p>“Raph?” He said.</p><p>“Jerrick.” Raph called. The old man did have a first name.</p><p>“Could we talk?” He said. I glared at him like a protective dog, teeth bared.</p><p>“Yes, Sure. Cloud. Could you go put those in some water?” I looked at Raph but he nodded and I stood, took the flowers. I left the room.</p><p>They were in there for about ten minutes and I wish I could have been a fly on the wall but both of them are dead now and No one knows what they talked about. When Shinra came out he looked sad. Something else I’d never seen.</p><p>“I’m truly sorry. Cloud. I know you don’t believe me and I don’t blame you, but I didn’t have anything to do with this. I’m trying to find out who did.” He said.</p><p>“Ok. Let me show you out…” I said.</p><p>“No. He… needs you. Take care of him, keep him comfortable and if he needs anything call me.”</p><p>I nodded and moved into the room and lay down with Raph.</p><p>“So?” I asked.</p><p>“Rub my shoulders, would you darling?” Was all he’d say.</p><p>*****</p><p>Reno</p><p>I stepped out of the chopper and looked around. Hot and cold running Shinra boys, all of them dressed in skin tight skiwear. I should have been in heaven. I should have been so distracted but really, I was so hyper focused on killing Andy in a gruesome way and getting back to Cloud. I didn’t even notice them. Had I been thinking clearly, I would have questioned my monogamy. And really, the issue was I was so enamored of Cloud I didn’t want to fuck anyone else. That would have scared the hell out of me.</p><p>I got out and looked around. I became aware that Tseng was watching me closely. </p><p>“Where is he?” Tseng asked.</p><p>“He wants to be in the middle of things but he can’t. Too much heat and by now he knows were looking for him.</p><p>“You think Shinra called him?” Seth asked. I could feel his muscles tighten.</p><p>“No, Rufus, though.” I said.</p><p>“He’ll have a head start.” Seth complained.</p><p>“No, he won’t. Rufus likes to play with his food. More Drama if he gives us time to get here so there can be an actually confrontation. Rufus is such a sadist he makes me look nice.” I said but didn’t look at either of them as I spoke. I was on the hunt.</p><p>Tseng was good at seeing people’s talents. I was good at breaking shit, blurring and finding people. I could get in their heads.</p><p>“Where is that lodge Hojo owns?” I asked. </p><p> Seth pointed down the road a bit. I could see it. Big, ostentatious. Bingo.</p><p>“He’s there.” I said. I started walking that way and my baton magically appeared in my hand without me even needing to think about it. I was so angry I was unconsciously getting ready to kill a man.</p><p>Even Seth seemed to realize he was no longer the most violent badass in the group.</p><p>“Reno? You ok?” He asked. He never called me Reno, always Sinclair and his voice was softer.</p><p>“This fucker, raped me, killed my sister and tortured my Cloud. I’m going to turn him into a greasy spot.” I growled and Tseng and Seth fell back, let me take the lead.</p><p>I put my foot through the door and heard something clatter in the back of the house.</p><p>“Sounds like they got rats.” I said and moved in, some chick was in the front room, fancied herself a bodyguard I guess because she stood to engage me. I saw the flash of a gun and I hit her upside the head with the baton. The sir filled with the smell of ozone and burning hair and she went down for the count.</p><p>I pushed into the next room, it had been a laboratory at some point. There were still beakers and vials and long tables. Andy was in the back, shoving things hurriedly in a bag. He wheeled when I entered the room.</p><p>He had gotten fatter and greasier in the years and lost most of his hair. His eyes were damp pools, red where it should have been white and he seemed to have some kind of skin disease making him overall more disgusting.</p><p>“Father time took a bat to you, didn’t he?” I said.</p><p>“Reno? Reno Sinclair?” He said and his eyes narrowed. </p><p>“Yeah, asshole. And you are in a world of hurt.” I lifted the baton but he suckered me with a shot from a gun he was holding in his off hand. If I hadn’t been so pissed I’d have seen it. But when I looked at him all I could see was the people I loved screaming.</p><p>I went down and I could feel Seth and Tseng come up behind me. There was something weird about this bullet, usually I could just ignore them, the mako hardening, the Jenova resident cells offered some armor in my flesh but this. Suddenly I panicked as I heard Andy go down with a groan, I looked at my wound and dreaded seeing black lines crawling, only molecular poison should do that, I thought.  … Cloud, what would he do? He’d no doubt try to join us, get himself offed…</p><p>A strange, green liquid oozed from the wound and it took a moment to recognize it, but the smell… Mako. The bullet was a shatter cap with Mako in it. Great, I was going to be sick as a dog here soon.</p><p>“You alright?” Tseng asked. He turned, his face with a tiny bit of trepidation that turned to confusion. “What the…”</p><p>“Mako shatter caps.” Seth said. “We’ve been using them on a trial basis in Inchon. They can kill humans. And people like us, something in the Mako seems to push past the Jenova armor. Or, like, it’s pulled. Either way, they make a mess of everything they hit.” He seemed amused.</p><p>“Yeah, douchebag, well, I’m bleeding out. Little help?” I said, my gut exposed and I thought I saw an intestine. I shuddered, didn’t Cloud say Andy had… I kicked my foot out and hit Andy in his gross face.</p><p>Tseng reached in with his fingers, that hurt like a bitch and pulled out the shrapnel. It came out in one piece, a small cleave mark where the mako had oozed out. He poured a potion on the wound and it began to close.</p><p>I puked. Hard. I threw up stuff I ate in Kindergarten. </p><p>“Well, he’s going to be useless for a while.” Seth said and threw an unconscious Andy over his shoulder.</p><p>“He can sleep it off in the back of the chopper.” Tseng said and lifted me unceremoniously. I wanted to retort, but instead there was a just a dry heave.</p><p>*****<br/>Cloud</p><p>Night was the hardest. I’m not sure why, maybe the world is asleep and the silence magnifies everything and everything we hide from during the day find their fields to revel in.</p><p>Raph was sweating and gasping for breath. I called his doctor and they sent me out of the room, he and his nurse. They were military doctors, the best in the business. I sat in front of the door, to terrified to breathe, knowing what was upon me.</p><p>It was too soon. I was lost, I needed him. I wasn’t in a position to let go. But would I ever be, are we ever ready for those we love to die?</p><p>The Nurse came out and touched my shoulder. I leapt up and she lead me into the room. </p><p>He looked so small, my savior, as he lay there, gasping, retching. The doctor gave him an injection and he quieted.</p><p>“There is nothing more to be done.” he said, and I threw myself beside Raph, flung my arms around his dying form.</p><p>They moved to leave but some sound that came unbidden from my throat stopped them and I felt hands on my back, meant to comfort. Rude came up from downstairs and he sat behind me on the bed, pulled me into his arms as I held Raph’s hands. The doctor and nurse exited leaving us alone.</p><p>“I’ll call Reno.” Rude whispered but I shook my head. </p><p>“He’s busy, right? On assignment?” I said as I wiped the tears from my face.</p><p>“He’s with Seth and Tseng, hunting Andy.” Rude said and leaned back giving me room.</p><p>“Yeah, no, let him work.” I said. Rude looked at me for a long minute and then nodded.</p><p>“Yeah, I guess that’s something.” he offered finally and stayed with me.</p><p>We sat there in silence, the clock ticking, the moon overhead, oblivious to this tender moment. There was the howl in the distance and then this sound came out of Raph, it was final and horrifying. The death rattle. I’ll never forget it. It chilled me and destroyed me.</p><p>I threw myself weeping hysterically on Raph, help him close and vowed to kill whomever had done this to my lover, my savior, my husband. I would do to them the ignoble deed that had been done to my Raph.</p><p>“I’m calling him.” Rude said and it was just that, no argument, the phone went to his ear and I heard the sound of Reno’s voice, calm and clear.</p><p>“Yeah?” He said. I wanted to crawl through the phone and into his arms.</p><p>“Raph’s gone.” He said. There was silence.</p><p>“Let’s wrap this up.” he said and I heard a machine start and a scream and then the line disconnect.</p><p>*****<br/>Reno</p><p>I felt better  physically by the time we got to the institute. That’s what he called his old lab. I lived here for four years, I knew every inch of this property and most of the inside of the complex. It was large and confusing intentionally. Only the people who needed to know could navigate it with any success.</p><p>The sub basement four was where most of the action was. I was amazing to find there was still power, the solar and wind grid were still working and so once I’d breached the front doors we just had to go to the elevator.</p><p>Seth carried Andy who would occasionally stir and get hit in the head for his trouble. </p><p>We stood in the elevator and I figured he’d changed the codes once I left, I didn’t even bother to try mine. You needed a code to leave this floor. </p><p>Instead I used an old trick we used for smuggling drugs in, I popped the button plate and overrode the circuit with my baton.</p><p>Moments later I could feel us plunging down into the darkness of my personal hell. Memories flooded me, a couple good but for the most part nightmare things that lurked in the dark corners of my shadowy brain.</p><p>“You ok?” Tseng asked.</p><p>I nodded. I looked up and both of them were giving me this look, it was… kind, fatherly. It disturbed me.</p><p>The doors opened on sub 4 and ghosts of the past rushed at me in a charge.</p><p>“Fuck.” I said. I moved into the hall and faces leapt. To my minds eye. People I hadn’t thought about in years. Events that seemed surreal. The Reno who dwelt here was so far from the me of now he was almost a stranger. </p><p>“Let’s take him to four.” I said. Andy stirred at the sound of those words and I turned. “Think she’s still alive?” I asked.</p><p>“Who?” Seth asked. He looked kinda peckish.</p><p>“He has a…” before I could finish, Seth grabbed his head and went down, Andy falling ass over teakettle to the floor. He was more conscious then he let on and tried to stand but before he could move,  Tseng seemingly teleported a wakasashi and it was touching Andy’s throat. </p><p>I wheeled and grabbed Seth.</p><p>“Mother, no!” He was saying, fighting and pushing her away with all his might.</p><p>“You’re in the ocean, Seth, it’s calm…” I said. Cloud had said something like this to him once before.</p><p>“Yes, yes.” He said. “The water is warm and I’m floating. Thank you, Reno.” He said.</p><p>“Twice in one day you called me Reno.” I offered and he looked at me, smiled though his eyes were choked with tears.</p><p>“Don’t get used to it, Sinclair. You were saying?” He asked.</p><p>“He has a Jenova creature locked up in 4. Used it to torture people.” I offered. We dragged Andy down the hall to four.</p><p>This scared the old fat bastard. Hell, everyone was always afraid of four.</p><p>I took Tseng to the control room and Seth dropped Andy on the concrete floor. Andy struggled made to leave and Seth used Masamune to hobble him. Andy went down, the backs of his ankles bleeding, the Achilles tendons severed.</p><p>“Don’t go running off, now.” Seth said and moved up the steps to join us.</p><p>I’ll spare you the details. Hours. There was a console with controls for elemental controls, we could make it cold, hot, wet, electric.  And yes, the monster was still alive. I wish I could tell you there was a noble, merciful man among us, but really, we revived him several times to continue our dark work.</p><p>We’d have gone of longer, too, but my phone rang. It was Rude.</p><p>He told me Raph was dead. So much fell with that statement. I wanted to hold Cloud, comfort him. Take control of the situation so he could just rest. I wanted to start out life and I was terrified of that whole thing. He’d be mine, right? Him and me, forever. Maybe he’d move into my apartment and we’d…</p><p>“Let’s finish this.” I said and they nodded and we ended it in a flood of acid. Then we burned the building down.</p><p>*****</p><p>Cloud</p><p>I sat across from a lawyer. </p><p>“You sure you’re up for this?” He asked and I nodded numbly. They’d come and taken the body. In Nibelheim I would have washed him and dressed him and sat with him all night, but this was not Nibelheim and they came and took him to prepare him and drugged me to sleep.</p><p>I’d woken to Genesis leaning over my bed. He was brushing the hair from my face and I started.</p><p>“It’s ok, it’s just me.” he said.</p><p>“You ok?” I asked.</p><p>He nodded. “I think it’s going to work. I feel… better. How are you?” He asked and I could see he really wanted to know. </p><p>“He’s dead.” I said and curled in Gen’s arms. My brother held me, stroked my hair and told me I was going to be ok. I didn’t believe it.</p><p>“Is Reno here?” I asked.</p><p>“On his way. Soon.” He said. “The lawyer is downstairs. Needs your signature for the funeral stuff. Wants to make a date to read the will.”  </p><p>“Yeah. Sure.” I got up and dressed and followed Gen to the living room and here we were, waiting for a shoe to drop somewhere.</p><p>“Raph made his wishes very clear. He left everything to you.” The lawyer said.</p><p>“He… what?” I said, puzzled. “Me?”</p><p>“He said he wanted you taken care of. Had me rewrite it three times.” The lawyer said.</p><p>I signed the paperwork. “I…”</p><p>“You’re under a lot of stress right now. We’ll discuss particulars later in the week, after you’ve acclimated.”</p><p>“I don’t want to acclimate I want…”</p><p>Reno came in the front door and all else was lost, all thought and feeling. He came to me and pulled me into his arms, covered in a familiar smell that made the hair stand on end.</p><p>“Where have you been?” I asked.</p><p>“I’ll tell you later. You ok?”  He said and held me impossibly close.  I felt alive again. I could breathe. He kissed the top of my head.</p><p>“I’ll call later to make the appointment.” the lawyer was saying and he left the room, followed by Gen.</p><p>“I’ll come back later, too.” He said and I was alone with Re.</p><p>“You ok, boo?” He asked and kissed me deeply. After his lips released me, I nodded and pulled him up the stairs, toward the bedrooms. I pulled him into the spare because I couldn’t have the ghost of Raph watching me just now.</p><p>I pulled at Reno’s clothing desperately and he acquiesced, let me undress him, pulled my clothing off and it all fell to the floor in a pile. A moment later we lay tangled in the sheets, in each other. He was inside me and I let out a moan, mournful and lone, he kissed me and told me it would be alright.</p><p>“I won’t leave you again. You’re mine.” he said and he took me, with force and passion and it as more a consummation than sex. He almost said he loved me, I could tell he was holding it in. As his manhood pieced me over and over, I felt like he was touching my soul, I wanted to climb inside him and be one.</p><p>“I love you.” I whispered. I couldn’t stop myself, the words out before I could catch them and lock them up again. He kissed me then, and kept kissing me even as he came in me, pulled me impossibly close and then passed out on top of me. </p><p>Moments later, I was asleep, too.</p><p>****<br/>Reno</p><p>I woke with Cloud wrapped around me. I kissed his head and slid out from under him. He moved in his sleep and muttered my name but stayed asleep.</p><p>I went into the bathroom and relieved myself, then jumped in the shower. A minute later he climbed in behind me and put his arms around me.</p><p>“The funeral is tomorrow.” he said. I nodded. Good thing I always wear black.</p><p>“So, you moving in with me?” I asked.</p><p>“You could move in with me. Raph left me all of it. The house, the apartment…”</p><p>“The box at the Gravball stadium?” I asked. He nodded.</p><p>“What am I going to do?” I asked.</p><p>“Be with me, I guess.” I said but that was terrifying. Us, a couple, forever. I was not ready.</p><p>“I miss him.” he said and fell into my arms, cried. He collapsed, I moved down with him and held him as the water ran down on us.  “Do you love me?” he asked.</p><p>“Cloud…” I started.  He pulled away from me then and I grabbed him, pulled him close and held him tight.</p><p>“No, it’s fine. I’ll be fine…”</p><p>“I do.” I said suddenly. </p><p>“What?” He said and looked at me.</p><p>“I do. It terrifies me. I don’t look at other guys anymore, I sure don’t fuck them. Even Rufus. I stopped seeing him the minute I met you. I think about you all the time, I cn’t get comfortable if you aren’t around. I’m crazy about you. I just… it’s… too much…”</p><p>He leaned up and kissed me then, and we made love there on the floor of the shower. </p><p>“I belong to you.” he whispered in my ear and I came at the words, clutched at him. I was overwhelmed and got up, dragged him into the bedroom and threw him on the bed. I went to the play room and grabbed some handcuffs and came back and handcuffed him to the bed.</p><p>“You do. You belong to me. Don’t ever forget that.” I laid down next to him. He wrapped his free arm around me and put his head on my chest, content to be my prisoner.</p><p>We fell into a deep, dreamless sleep. </p><p>When I woke in the morning, I reached up to take off the cuffs, but he stopped me. </p><p>“No, a while longer.” he said. “I need to be yours completely for a while longer.” We lay there until noon and then got up and went to see the lawyer.</p>
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<a name="section0028"><h2>28. Fall of a God</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The reactor at Nibelheim.  End Part two.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Chapter 28</p><p>Fall of a God</p><p>I will remember you, will you remember me?<br/>Don't let your life pass you by<br/>Weep not for the memories<br/>I'm so tired but I can't sleep<br/>Standin' on the edge of something much too deep<br/>It's funny how we feel so much but we cannot say a word<br/>We are screaming inside, but we can't be heard</p><p>I will remember you, Sarah Maclachlin</p><p> </p><p>Reno<br/> It had been six weeks. Cloud was tired of puttering and I was sick of the walls in the desert house. We sat around the pool and read books – yeah I read – and I heard the door open.</p><p>Both of us were in swim suits and had no weapons but we jumped up as one ready to kick the ass of this trespasser.</p><p>It was Seth, followed by his shadow, Zack. Cloud ran over and threw himself around Seth, the older Clone smiled widely.</p><p>“I missed you, Ototo.” He said.</p><p>“I missed you, too, Nisan. What’s up?” He hugged Zack who looked vaguely uncomfortable. They came over and joined us.</p><p>“You thirsty? Can I get you something?” Cloud asked, always the host. </p><p>“I know where everything is.” Zack said and got up apparently glad to have an excuse to leave. Something was up.</p><p>“Tseng says you’re almost out of vacation time.” Seth said to me.</p><p>“It’s ok, I’m kept by a really rich guy…” I threw back. “Why, he send you to collect me?”</p><p>“No, he’d send Rude. He is curious about what your next move is.” He offered.</p><p>“Cut the shit. Say it.” I returned and he smiled then.</p><p>“We have an assignment. Thought Cloud might want to go…”</p><p>“Cloud is still grieving…” I said, leaning forward defensively.</p><p>“No, I’m interested. We’re bored.” Cloud said. I looked at him. “What’s the assignment?”</p><p>“Monsters, a lot of them near one of the reactors. Shinra wants it cleared out. Easy stuff, but we can really use you help and besides that, if you hold up through it we can get you’re psyche reversed and you’ll be a real Soldier.” Seth offered. He seemed pleased with himself. I’m sure it had taken a lot of politicking to get this deal.</p><p>“Hum.” Cloud said. “Yeah. Where is the reactor?” He asked.</p><p>Seth waited for a beat. “Nibelheim. You can see your mother and…”</p><p>“No way.” Cloud said, dismissing him. I was secretly relieved. I wasn’t convinced he was ready to go back to work.</p><p>“Cloud, it’s your home town, it will do you good…” Seth said, gearing up his argument.</p><p>“I didn’t make it to Soldier. I can’t go back a failure and…” He stopped and looked at me.</p><p>“And what?” I asked. “A fag?” I offered. He sighed and looked away.</p><p>“Damn it, Re, you know I’m ok with this…” He said and stood, walked to me.</p><p>“Not where people can see.” I said.</p><p>“You’ve been out your whole life. I’m getting used to this. Anywhere but Nibelheim…”</p><p>“What the hell does that mean?” I asked. I looked over and Seth was watching very carefully and I wondered if he was up to something else, trying to come between us, break us up. </p><p>“Bae. You’ve been out your whole life. I’m not even sure I’m bi, you’re the only one… we talked about it. But those people. Since I was old enough  to remember, I was tortured, called a fag or a queer. Held down and…”</p><p>“You think you’re the only one?” I threw back. This was a frequent discussion. I wanted to hold his hand in public. He was against.</p><p>“My mother is very religious. She’ll disown me… I can’t face them…” he said.</p><p>I had conflicting emotions. I wanted him to stay here, I was sure he wasn’t ready but to stay because he was ashamed of me, of us?</p><p>“You don’t have to wear a queer shirt. Whose going to know?” I said. Seth nodded. He smiled a little and I figured it out. He’d gotten me, the one who would be against his plan, to argue for it. I flipped him the bird.</p><p>“You’re right, stay. You aren’t ready.” I said and sat down.</p><p>“I can go if I want.” He said and I sighed. Seth was looking insufferable. </p><p>I stood and walked to Cloud. “Yes, you can. And whatever you want, I’ll support you. I’m worried but I’ll support you and go with if you like. Seth is trying to manipulate us into doing what he wants but I want you to make up your mind. If you don’t want to go, we can go to Midgar or something. If you do, I’ll go with or I’ll go back to work. Whatever you like.”  I said. He smiled and reached up and grabbed me. He kissed me deeply.</p><p>“Let me think.” He said, stood and walked into the house. Zack came out carrying a pitcher of cocktails and some glasses. He put them down.</p><p>“What’d I miss?” he asked. </p><p>“Are you trying to break us up? Because if you are, Seth…” I said with real hostility.</p><p>“Not at all. As much as I hate to admit it, you’re cute together…”</p><p>“Fuck you.” I said. He laughed. </p><p>“No, I’m worried about the two of you. Sitting here in this house all day. You’re both going mad. He needs out and so do you. You’re both workaholics.” He said.</p><p>“Yeah, sure but not yet…” I said.</p><p>“You can get really used to sitting here where it’s safe. You are both pale and…”</p><p>“Seth, he wakes up screaming. Hell, so do I. You aren’t there at 3 in the morning. You don’t know what you’re talking about.”</p><p>“Maybe getting out of this place will help. Get your mind off.” Zack offered.</p><p>I sighed. Yeah, maybe. It was boring here and I could feel the walls closing in.</p><p>“You going to watch him?” I asked. He nodded. </p><p>“I’ll bring him back to you safe and sound.” He said.</p><p>“Promise.” I said. He held out his finger.</p><p>“I pinky swear.” he said and gave me a childish grin.</p><p>*****<br/>Cloud<br/>I sat in the back of the truck with my helmet on. Zack dropped next to me.</p><p>“You seriously going to wear that the whole time?” He asked. “It’s your home town…”</p><p>“Jenova clones are not well loved in their home towns, I’m afraid.” Seth offered and ran the whet stone down Masamune again.</p><p>“Fuck them, You’re practically a Soldier. What the hell are they?” He asked.  Just then the truck rattled to a stop and we all jumped out. </p><p>“You come with me.” Seth said to Zack. “And you go visit your mother…”</p><p>“But…” I whined.</p><p>“Now…” I sighed like an errant child and moved toward our house. I shouldn’t have been there. Nibelheim wasn’t a joyful memory. I was hated here. I was accused of everything. Hell, when Tifa dragged her friends up the mountain and fell, I saved her, but somehow it was my fault she was there.  These people hated me and I hated them.</p><p>And I was in no way ready for this. Raph was six weeks dead, I was still trying to rebuild my brain for Andy and Mara, I was in this gay relationship with the love of my life that was challenging everything I ever believed about myself. </p><p>Mom opened the door and glared at me for a minute. </p><p>“Yes?” She asked. She had a dark look and it occurred to her she thought I was the guy coming to tell her I was dead. I pulled off the helmet and her face broke into tears and joy.</p><p>“Cloud!” She threw her arms around me and pulled me in the house. She talked for hours, was I happy healthy, how was Soldier.? I lied so much. She was talking about some girl I was supposed to fall in love with. At one point the sound of her voice became a bit grating, talking about girls and children and all the things I wouldn’t have and I almost yelled at her. </p><p>I almost said ,“Mom, I’m living with a man and I’m widowed from another man and I failed out of Soldier but my brother, my real biological brother Sephiroth is trying to get me in and I’m not really yours and…”</p><p>I held my tongue and answered her in grunts. I want to tell her, wondered if she would still love me. I looked around this poor house, she was still just making it and I realized I could really change this for her. I could take her out of here, she could live in the apartment in Midgar and be a rich woman and maybe I could thank her for loving me, for being a good mom.</p><p>Of course she’d find out that I was something her religion abhorred. A gay man. Maybe she’d love me through it. I realized I was in no emotional condition to risk it. In a few months, when I was more settled and less raw, I’d come and get her and we’d have a long talk and I could let her into my adult life.</p><p>I slept in my childhood bed. It was the last time for everything in that room. Later with mom would never come and maybe I should have told her. Instead she died with a lie between us.</p><p>In the morning we went to the reactor.</p><p>Tifa was there. Of course. Zack noticed my distress, even with the helmet on. And he couldn’t resist.</p><p>“So. Whose the girl? She going to give Reno a run?” He asked me quietly.</p><p>“Screw you. No. Rude’s all about here, anyway.” I said.</p><p>“Really? Rude? That is soooo very interesting. Our Rude? Hum.” He said and moved toward her. I grabbed him.</p><p>“He will kill you.” I said. He laughed. </p><p>I stayed close to him for the walk up. Zack was my best friend. He was Seth’s too. In this story, Zack is the most important person, the real hero. Seth and I were the insane gods. Nibelheim the condemned village. Zack was the humor and humanity. </p><p>The last thing I said to my brother before he lost himself was. “Fuck you.”</p><p>I think we both felt her on the way up the hill. Mother Jenova. She was in our heads and the closer we got to her, the more irritable, the more obnoxious we got. And we decided to victimize each other. Mother’s doing no doubt. Put them against each other and take the strongest is a tactic of hers and honestly, She had her hooks in him very deeply by that point. He didn’t even know. </p><p>I’m not sure how much of what happened was because of her manipulations. We started to argue about everything.</p><p>“You don’t want to get between them when they get like this.” I heard Zack say to Tifa. </p><p>“Are regulars allowed to talk to Soldiers like that?” She asked.</p><p>“They’re like, ya know, brothers.“’ Zack assured her.  It was a weird way to phrase it. I realized then, though that I was still supposed to be largely a secret. Even the rumors of my dating Reno had been repressed pretty quickly.</p><p>“I didn’t know Sephiroth had a brother.” I heard her say.</p><p>“Yeah. And they are just alike.” He said.</p><p>He left me outside with Tifa at the main reactor. Mother wanted him alone. I suspected it but I didn’t trust myself, my head was so messed up.</p><p>“You stay here and guard the girl.” He said dismissively.</p><p>“Afraid I’ll steal your thunder?” I asked. “No cameras in there.” I added.</p><p>He turned and touched his sword hilt. “I’ve had enough of you.”</p><p>“And I’m sick of you treating me like a child.” I said.</p><p>“Then stop acting like one.” He offered.</p><p>“Fuck you.” I said. He turned on his heel and stalked into the Reactor.</p><p>“So, you’re Sephiroth’s brother?” she asked. </p><p>“Unfortunately.” I groused and sat on the step. I thought she might want to say more to me, but she didn’t know what. Maybe she recognized my voice but it had been a while and we had never been close. Tifa had a friends and family and a boyfriend and none of those people had ever been me. I was the weird kid who occasionally waved to her in the square making her and her friends giggle. Her male friend threaten me. </p><p>She was the popular girl and a guy like me, like I was before, could never hope to have her. In my head, it was still that way, when I was with her there on the mountain, I was that awkward, isolated weirdo who spent all his time alone.</p><p>“Are you a Soldier, too?” She asked. And moved a little closer. </p><p>“Not yet. In the next couple of weeks. I failed part of the exam but I can make it up.” I said. I could smell her perfume she was so close. A small part of my brain though that maybe Tifa was flirting with me. If she was it had to be Seth’s brother she was interested but no way did I see her as a Seth groupie.</p><p>“You remind me of someone.” She offered wistfully.</p><p>“Who?” I asked.</p><p>“There used to be this boy here in Nibelheim. He was a little weird but I kinda had a crush…”</p><p>“Cloud!” Zack yelled and I leapt up and ran into the reactor. Seth was there looking into a window on one of the reactor hubs.</p><p>“It can’t be. Am I…?” He was saying, and grabbing his head.</p><p>I could hear her, mother, buzzing like an insect in this room, only impossibly loud almost drowning out thought. I grabbed my head to try and push her out. I grabbed Seth and dragged him out into the cold mount Nibel air. It was silent, mother was gone and we were alone.</p><p>But Seth was different. He stood and I rose to meet him. He shoved me to the ground and walked past me.</p><p>“Seth.” I calle.d Zack was behind me. He rose up to his full height and looked in my eyes.</p><p>“My name is Sephiroth.” He said and it was an angry sound. I looked a Zack and he at me and we both nodded. </p><p>We followed him in silence as he stalked down the mountain.</p><p>He went to Shinra Mansion. He vanished in there and no one could find him. It took me a full day to find the secret door and only by reaching for his brain did I figure it out. </p><p>He locked me out, of course and I became aware that I had been in connection with Seth for a long time. Now that it was gone it was like something was missing, like I’d lost the use of a sense. A partial deafness. I walked down the stairs and found him reading.</p><p>“Set.. Sephiroth?” I asked. I tiptoed into the library. He didn’t look up. “Sephiroth. Are you ok?” I asked.</p><p>“What are we?” He asked. </p><p>“Jenova clones.”  I intoned.</p><p>“And what is that?” He asked. I wasn’t sure what he was grasping for. I was used to being able to see his thoughts on two levels. One was gone, though, I was shut out.</p><p>“Um, Cetra? Wasn’t she one of the ancient?” I asked.</p><p>“Indeed.” He said. “And you are more her then I am. I envy you, brother.” He said and went back to his book.</p><p>“Seth, you need to eat…” He held up his hand and dismissed me. I went up stairs.</p><p>“So?” Zack asked. </p><p>“Even weirder. Mother has gotten to him.” I said.</p><p>“Should we call the Turks?” He asked. My stomach knotted. Reno would have to come, and Rude and the others, What would they do? Arrest him? Kill him? The battle would be bloody.</p><p>“No. I’ll talk to Gen.” I said.</p><p>“Yeah, that’s not gas on this fire.” He offered. I nodded and reached for my brother.</p><p>I felt him shudder awake.</p><p>“Cloud?” He asked. He seemed disoriented and was somewhere dark.</p><p>“Yeah. I. Um, I think there might be a problem.” I offered.</p><p>“What problem.” He was a long distance from me and I could barely feel him.</p><p>“Seth, he’s. I think he’s gone over.” </p><p>That woke him up. I felt him stand and grab some clothing. </p><p>“Where are you?” He asked, his mind was sharp and strong now and almost overwhelmed me.</p><p>“Nibelheim. He’s in Shinra Mansion, reading in the basement library.” I said.</p><p>“Fuck.” Gen swore and moved with purpose. “I’m on the way. Keep me in the loop.” </p><p>I nodded then said “Yeah.”</p><p>“Well?” Zack asked.</p><p>“He’s coming.” I said.</p><p>“Oh, yeah, way better. Let’s get all the thermonukes in one place.”</p><p>“I’m one of them, remember?” I asked.</p><p>“Yeah, but you aren’t crazy.” He offered and that really made me feel better. He thought I was sane. Maybe I was.</p><p>*****<br/>Reno<br/>I had a bad feeling. I was working in Midgar, training a few new recruits. Elena was among them. She was an intern and would be for a while.</p><p>I was standing with Rude in the Lobby, surrounded by Shinra’s.</p><p>“You must be in love.” He said and I looked up from my email.</p><p>“Why?” I asked.</p><p>“You ain’t shopping.” He said and motioned at all the ht and cold running suits around me. I punched his shoulder. </p><p>“I do kinda like him.” I offered. “Oh, an email from Nibelheim.” I said.</p><p>“Anything interesting?”</p><p>I scanned it. “Sephiroth locked in Shinra mansion, His companions look antsy. Not sure what’s going on but could use back up.” I read out loud.</p><p>“Should we pull your boy?” he asked.</p><p>“No, Let’s head that way.” I said and called the flight deck. “Yeah, spin me up and fill the tank, I’m headed to Nibelheim.” I said.</p><p>“You got it, sir.” I tapped Rude and we headed up the elevator to the helipad.</p><p>*****<br/>I felt him in my head. First time in a couple of days. </p><p>“Seth wants to see us.” I said and we moved toward the mansion.</p><p>Zack went ahead of me, his bearing finally relaxed. I was tired and hot and sweating in the helmet but as yet no one knew who I was. I had the added benefit that I could hide from Tifa who was now obsessed with finding Seth’s brother. </p><p>“Let’s go.” He said and we descended.</p><p>It was chilly in the basement and there was a door that wouldn’t open that bugged the hell out of me. I went pasted it and tapped on it as was my habit now. I’d been bring Seth food three times a day and he was eating some of it. </p><p>We entered the library and Seth was there, in the back sitting at the desk.</p><p>Zack moved toward him, his best friend, his idol.</p><p>“You ok?” He asked.</p><p>“Oh, yes. I am much better.” He said. His eyes now somehow… darker.</p><p>“Good, let’s go home…” Zack said, brightly. But something stopped him.</p><p>“I know.” Seth said.</p><p>“What do you know?” I asked and was suddenly aware that he had locked me out of his brain.</p><p>“Sh.  You’re one of them, aren’t you?” He said and stood up, menaced over Zack.</p><p>“What are you talking about, I’m Zack, your buddy…” Zack was confused. I was, too. No matter what, Zack was always Seth’s right hand but now...</p><p>“You’re one of those who rose up. The Cetra were a group of wanderers who went from planet to planet and then after making it better moved again. But you and your kind decided to stay. To go against the way. And you corrupted the lifestream. You use it. Destroy it…”</p><p>“Seth, it’s me, Zack. Your best friend.” He was moving backwards and I didn’t blame him. Something sinister was in Seth’s face.</p><p>I stepped in front of Zack.</p><p>“What is wrong with you?” I demanded and he looked at me.</p><p>“Brother. You aren’t one of them. Join us. Come home. Mother and I are going to the promised land…”<br/>He said and reached for me. I stepped away. I kept Zack behind me.</p><p>“Seth, you have to fight her. She’s lying to you.” I said.</p><p>“You’re in love with one of them. I remember. Reno. And you have feeling for this one. But they are the enemy, Cloud. Not one of us.”</p><p>“This is Zack! He’s had your back all the time.” I offered.</p><p>“They are the liars, Cloud. Come with us. Reunion.”</p><p>That word terrified me.</p><p>“Seth, these people love us. We have people who care…”</p><p>“Do we? Tell me, Cloud. Tell me what holds you back. Tell me what you love so I can destroy it.” He said and it scared me so bad I thought I would vomit. </p><p> I pulled my sword but he shoved us back. Just reached out with one hand and shoved and we both tumbled backwards and hit the floor impossibly hard. Both of us, Zack and I, he was made stronger by mother.</p><p>We landed on our asses and I hit my head. I was out for a little while. I came to and Zack wasn’t moving, I freaked but when I touched him, he groaned and moved.  I jumped up and ran out of the room into…</p><p>Fire. Nibleheim was on fire. I turned and Zack was behind me, and we both stood, dumbfounded.</p><p>A moment later I found my mind and had one thought. Mom. I ran to our house and found it engulfed in flame. I tried to go in but Zack held me back and just then the roof collapsed.</p><p>“MOM!” I screamed. I cried and Zack held me.</p><p>“We need to find Seth.” He said. I nodded. I wanted to kick his ass.</p><p>He and I moved then to the mountain  path and onward to look for Seth.</p><p>*****<br/>Reno<br/>It was on fire when we got there. I landed not far away and put my head in my hands.</p><p>“He’s in there. Isn’t he?” I said hoarsely, felt my heart threatening to stop. “Please fucking be alive.” I hissed and felt Rude touch my shoulder.</p><p>“Reach, do you feel him?” He asked. I stopped and was silent. I could feel him. He was still alive.</p><p>Just then this guy runs up. “My student! She went up the mountain after him! She’s just a child!” he said. I sighed and let him in.</p><p>We took off again. “Up the mountain?” Rude asked. I nodded.</p><p>*****<br/>Cloud</p><p>We moved quickly. I knew this area and we pushed the limits of our enhancements. I had to stop for Zack a few times, he was enhanced, not a clone but we made really good time.</p><p>Tifa was there leaning over her father. Zack looked at me and ran into the reactor as I leaned next to her.</p><p>“He killed my father. Sephiroth killed my father.” She wept. </p><p>I pulled her into my arms and she pulled away so I reached up and took off my helmet.</p><p>“Cloud!” She called and threw herself into my arms. I held her and remembered the time that this was what I wanted more then anything. So long ago. Now I was yearning for Reno.</p><p>“I hate him!” she shrieked suddenly and ran up the steps, stopped and grabbed Masamune. She wouldn’t be able to wield it. I followed her in and she was standing very bravely with the sword. He took it from her effortlessly.</p><p>“Is this something you love, Cloud? This Cetra child?” He raised the sword and swung it at her, I tried to move, to stop him but I was frozen in place, watched her roll down the stairs. I finally found my feet and ran to her, grabbed her before she hit the bottom.</p><p>She had a red line across her stomach but it was not deep. Just enough to scare me. He turned then and went into the chamber at the top of the reactor. I could feel mother there, smell her, taste her and I wanted to give in, surrender. It was power and sex and eternity in her essence. It pulled at me. Demanded I join her. And I wanted to.</p><p>“Cloud!” Tifa said, and she sounded small and weak.  ‘You promised.” She said and passed out.</p><p>I did. I promised I’d save her. I ran up the stairs, Ototo in my hand.</p><p>Seth was pulling her out of her case. She was beautiful and horrific all at the same time.</p><p>“She’s our mother.” He said, aware I was there. </p><p>“She doesn’t love you Seth.” I said.</p><p>“Are you sure? Have you heard her out?” He asked.</p><p>“Seth, she has an ulterior motive. What is she saying? Is she telling you you’re her favorite? Because she says the same thing to me and probably Gen.” I offered.</p><p>He groaned then and sent me backwards with a swing of Masamune.</p><p>I landed on my back and blacked out for a few minutes.</p><p>When I came too, I ran outside, sore and bleeding. Zack was on the ground, Tifa too and I heard a chopper in the distance getting closer. </p><p>I was so angry. He’d killed my mom. Maybe Tifa and Zack. Reno was headed this way, I could feel him. </p><p>Seth was insane, laughing in crazy tones. I came behind him, he was too enraptured with his mania to feel me and brought down Ototo. I felt it bite and slice the skin. Part of me was horrified, I’d hurt Seth, whom I loved, who was my brother but the rest of me, most of me was so furious with him that it felt good.</p><p>He yelled, turned and saw me and when he realized it was me, something snapped in his eyes. Fury, betrayal. </p><p>He took Masamune and drove it through me. I could feel  the blade run through me, I knew, just knew he’s hit some vital organ and waited for darkness, for pain and death but none came. I was too much in shock. I felt myself hanging, my heart beat seemed to touch the blade, I dangled and he smiled. He thought he had won.</p><p>I didn’t die or lose consciousness. I didn’t know why, but I knew I had to do sometimes. I thought about everything he’d taken away. And then I head the chopper again. He was going to kill Reno. I couldn’t have that. If Re died… I would die. It wasn’t going to end this way. I was not going to let him win. I was furious and so I grabbed the Masamune and tugged hard and pulled it through me.</p><p>The caught Sephiroth off guard. He looked at me dumbfounded. His mouth fell open.</p><p>“What are you doing?” He asked. I saw a hint of the old Seth, my Seth. It bothered him that I was hurting myself. I remembered that first night, his sleeping beside my bunk, right ater saving me from my suicide attempt. But the chopper blades were closer. That Seth vanished and was replaced by Sephiroth.</p><p>I pulled again. And again until I felt my feet touch the ground.</p><p>“I’m going to kill you.” I said.</p><p>“I’m you’re brother.” he said and his eyes narrowed. It was a poorly played tactic, all lovw was gone between us. </p><p>“My brother is dead.” I said and lifted him, using my hands and my ribs. It hurt more than anything else I’ ever experienced. It was, in a way, cathartic it matched the pain in my soul, the loss and the anger and my emptiness.</p><p>He was too shocked to do anything. In his head, I was this weak thing, this child he’d protected. I lifted him and pitched him into the lifestream, he didn’t let go of the sword and I felt it being pulled out of me as he slipped away, pulled by gravity into a watery grave.</p><p>I heard Zack behind me as I collapsed.</p><p>I heard Reno took and as I lost consciousness I felt them moving away.</p><p>*****<br/>Reno<br/>He had a hole in him. Through his chest and blood was pouring out and I thought my heart would come out of my own chest.</p><p>Shinras swarmed with stretchers and guns and they took Cloud and Zack away. I was going to meet him at the hospital later. </p><p>I did my job and policed the area. And twenty minutes later Rufus appeared.</p><p>We had history, me and Rufus. We’d been what passes doe friends with him at one point.  I was snowed by that memory for a minute and thought maybe he was here for some good purpose.</p><p>“Reno. We need to talk.” I looked up at him and he shook his head. “He didn’t make it.” He said. </p><p>I don’t think people like Rufus ever love, ever understand. I knew it was a lie as the words left his mouth. I could feel him. I can’t tell you how, but I knew if he was dead I’d feel it. Rufus was too happy, his brow furrowed the way it did when he was getting over on someone. I also knew if I didn’t play along, I’d never be able to find him. </p><p>I cried though. I guess it’s because I knew it would be a long time before I saw him again. That he’d been taken. That he wasn’t mine yet.</p><p>It would be two years. And in that time, I would learn to hate the Shinras more then I thought I could hate.</p>
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<a name="section0029"><h2>29. Part three, Begin Again</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Two years later</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>4 loves of Cloud Strife</p><p>Part 3 – the Game</p><p>Chapter 30 </p><p>Begin Again.</p><p> </p><p>Touch me<br/>It's so easy to leave me<br/>All alone with the memory<br/>Of my days in the sun<br/>If you touch me<br/>You'll understand what happiness is<br/>Look, a new day<br/>Has begun<br/>Memory, Andrew Lloyd Webber</p><p> </p><p>The sound of water running. No, not running. Splashing. And gravity taking me. The feel of air on my skin and hitting the floor with a bounce. </p><p>Hands. Being lifted. Warm clothing covering me. And is that... Zack? Zack?</p><p>I try to call to him but nothing happens. No sound except something like a groan. </p><p>“Cloud?” I hear and then blackness.</p><p>Periodically, I hear Zack talking. To me, but not to me. He thinks I can’t hear him. Zack abhors silence and he talks to whatever is near - person, inanimate object. It didn’t matter, it was just sound. He talks about Seth, about the fix we’re in. About the girl, what was her name? Something about flowers.</p><p>It was comforting hearing him. He became my lifeline and when I would become aware, I’d listen for him. He was the last thing I had left.</p><p>Gunfire. I saw him. The heaves were still bad and really there wasn’t a lot of consciousness, but I knew he was hurt. He gave me Buster. I held it.</p><p>Again, in and out of consciousness. I wandered for a couple of weeks. I did… what I had to do to survive. I woke up at one point at the Wall in the back of a chocobo wagon with a guy. And a few hundred gil. More than once. I could feel my alters very close to the surface most of the time. Ine of them was making us money. Probably whatever Cloud. </p><p>And then, there was light. I woke up in a train station. Someone was over me. </p><p>My first memory was waking up at the train station looking into the biggest reddish brown eyes I’d ever seen.  I gasped a little and pulled away. Rising out of a dark, empty morass into those was startling.</p><p> I’m not going to lie, my next conscious thought was about the huge breast below those eyes. They were pressing against me, warm and soft and my body was responding in a most inappropriate way.</p><p>I grabbed her shoulders and moved her away from me.</p><p>“Cloud?” she’d asked and I thought it was familiar. Legacy. I was a legacy for… someone. Something bad had happened.  I didn’t know where I was, how I’d gotten there or more importantly who I was.</p><p>“Cloud Strife? From Nibelheim?” She asked again with more urgency.</p><p>“I… I don’t know… I think… Who are you?” I asked.</p><p>“Tifa.” I just stared.  “Tifa Lockhart! From Nibelheim!  Imagine meeting like this after so many years. Are you ok?”</p><p>I made to stand and wobbled a little, she leaned in again and grabbed me to steady me.</p><p>“I… I’m hungry. I said.</p><p>She looked at my uniform and saw a couple of bullet holes. Probably blood.</p><p>“Oh my Gods!” She said and helped me stand. I became conscious of something in my hand. A sword. I needed the sword, it was mine and I slid it into the holder on my back instinctively.</p><p>“Come on. I’ll take care of you.” She said.</p><p>I followed her, stumbling at first and then she wrapped my arm around her neck and half carried me.  I had no choice. She was the only real thing in my life.</p><p>*****<br/>“We found Cloud.” Rude said as he walked into Tseng’s garden. “Should I pick him up?”</p><p>“No. Do not let Shinra know where he is. They will terminate him.” Tseng said. He didn’t look up from his bonsai tree. No one else but a seasoned Turk would have seen the shiver run through his frame at the mention of the name. </p><p>“You know, all these years, I been meaning to asked you, why do we care? And why, more importantly does Reno care?. Cos that is just whack.”</p><p>“What does Cloud call me?” Tseng asked.</p><p>“Um, Tseng-ue?” Rude said.</p><p>“Do you know what they means?” He asked.</p><p>“Not a clue. It’s old.” Tseng nodded.</p><p>“It means, Tseng, who is above me, or, more to the point, Tseng, my father.”</p><p>“I thought Hojo was his father.” Rude asked.</p><p>“Biologically. But Cloud acknowledges that I am his father. More than his sensei. Cloud is to be kept safe from Shinra. At all costs.”</p><p>“Because he respects you?”</p><p>“Because he will save the world, Rude. My children will save us all.”</p><p>“And Reno?” Rude asked.</p><p>“Cloud is very important to Reno and that in an of itself should tell you that Cloud is remarkable. ”</p><p>Rude shrugged and turned to leave.</p><p>“And Rude.” Rude stopped and turned. “Not a word to Cloud. I am sure his personality is fractured and if we put too much pressure…”</p><p>“He could break again?” Rude venture. Tseng made a slight nod.<br/>Rude turned and left the garden to let Tseng meditate.</p><p>*****<br/>I woke up in a warm bed. Those eyes were there again. And those breasts.</p><p>I looked up at her.</p><p>“Your eyes are the same. Even after the Mako.” She said.</p><p>“Hun?” I asked.</p><p>“In Soldier, I thought all of you were tanked.” She said.</p><p>“I… Don’t remember. Something bad happened. My friend… um…”  My head flared with a bright flash of pain and I grabbed it, huffed.</p><p>She put her hands on me and pushed me back, rubbed my temples and the pain started to subside. “Shhhh.” she whispered and the way she smelled, the sound of her voice, I wanted to curl in her arms and just sleep forever, just be next to her and hold her forever. </p><p>I was sad then, not just unhappy, but a deep, empty black pit opened up in my soul. I couldn’t have told you why. It wasn’t really sadness, it was grief, more profound, more engulfing. A toothy maw full of blackness that snuffed out light.</p><p>She leaned back and broke me out of my reveries.</p><p>“Thanks. How did you do that?” I asked.</p><p>“Just got you to relax. Do you have headaches a lot?” She asked and smiled.</p><p>“I dunno.” I said.</p><p>“You really don’t remember anything? Nibelheim? Fourth grade? The water tower?”</p><p>I shook my head and tried to stand up.  My legs wouldn’t support my weight. She caught me and pushed me back into the bed.</p><p>“Sorry.” I said. “I’ll be out of your hair as soon as I can stand.”</p><p>“You’ll do no such thing. It’s nice to know I’m not the only one who survived the fire.” She said. “I guess it’s a good thing you left to join Soldier.”</p><p>“Um, yeah, sure.” I said and looked at what she had in her hand. “What is that?”</p><p>“Oh, um, sorry. We have a little girl here. She’s the daughter of a friend and she kind of went through your pack. I’m really sorry. But she found these. I wouldn’t have even worried but it looks important.”  She held up ten packets marked “Cloud Strife’. “I thought it might be from a doctor or something? There was a note from someone named Seth that you shouldn’t forget them.”</p><p>“Yeah, sure looks like it.” I said. They seemed familiar. There was an emotional response, a real, visceral reaction to the smell of mako, I almost drooled and was repulsed at the same time.</p><p>“Should I make one for you?” She asked and I nodded. I didn’t want her to know how desperate I was for one.</p><p>She left and came back a few minutes later with a glass of pink liquid. She was holding it away from her like it smelled and it did. I sniffed it. Maybe she’d think I was weird for wanting it, craving it the way I did.</p><p>“Oh my gods, that smells awful. Like swamp water.” I said. She nodded.</p><p>“But it’s from a doctor, so you need it.” She said.</p><p>I took a sip and swallowed really fast. It tasted as disgusting as it smelled, but I could feel it moving into my throat, my stomach, even my blood and my cells. Relief washed over me, and I could feel my body mending itself. Getting past the taste, though.</p><p>“OK, that is really vile. I mean gross. Really gross.” I said and made a face. She giggled.</p><p>“No way, Mister. Down the hatch.” She ordered.</p><p>I sighed and turned it up, drained the glass. Even as I was handing her the glass and making my faces, I could feel it working. My strength was coming back and the places on my chest where the bullet wounds were started burning for some unknown reason started to feel better.</p><p>“Oh, my Gods, Cloud. You’re healing.” She said then touched the skin beneath my open pajama neckline. I resisted a moan, it felt so good, her fingers were warm and I could feel her breath on my…</p><p>I pushed her back and looked down. There were two holes on my chest, one clavical, one further down. I could feel the pain diminishing. Not completely but they started to form a good scab.</p><p>“Must be some healing potion?” she said.</p><p>“Smells like a Mako reactor.” A deep voice said from outside the doorway and Barret Wallace stuck his head in. “How is he?” he asked but it didn’t sound like concern.</p><p>“Better it seems. How are you Cloud?” She asked and brushed a stray hair from my face, wiped a little shake from the corner of my mouth.</p><p>“We should talk.” He said to her. She smiled at me very warmly.</p><p>“You stay right here and don’t move. I mean it. Rest.”</p><p>I nodded and looked at Barrett. I couldn’t resist. I knew the body language. I was encroaching on turf he’d claimed. The girl was his, or he wanted her to be. Hadn’t figured her out yet, but I would.</p><p>I couldn’t resist. Something about him made me vaguely annoyed. She wasn’t his property. No one should be property. I pulled her close and hugged her, then kissed her gently on the cheek. “Thanks so much.” I breathed into her ear and she stumbled backwards, flustered.</p><p>“I, well, um, yeah, sure. You can just stay there in my bed for as long as… I mean. I don’t mind having you in my bed at all… I should go talk to Barret.</p><p>I looked up at him and could tell he wanted to turn me into a little greasy spot. I smiled and leaned back.</p><p>“I’m hungry, can I get something to eat?” I asked.</p><p>“Um, yeah, I’ll just… should I cook you something?”</p><p>“Don’t go to any trouble.” I said and I suddenly wondered what it would be like to kiss her, to pull her down in this bed and just have my way with her and that made me a lot harder than I thought it should have. Not like I had that kind of strength.</p><p>I’m sure Barret had his conversation in the hall where I could hear.</p><p>“When is he leaving?” he asked.</p><p>“I don’t know.” She said. “He was shot for god’s sake, Barret.”</p><p>“I don’t like him, and I don’t trust him and I don’t want him here.” He said.</p><p>“Well, it’s my bar and my bed and he can stay as long as he wants. I’ve missed Cloud.” She said.</p><p>We must have been friends in Nibelheim. Maybe more?</p><p>“Well, this is our base and…”</p><p>“I can fix that. You may be the head of Avalanche…”</p><p>“Keep your voice down. That dude is Shinra. He’s probably a spy.</p><p>“Sure, he got himself shot and amnesia’ed just to spy.” She said.</p><p>“They do all kinda shit.” He said.”</p><p>“What is wrong with you? He’s injured and he’s our friend.” She said.</p><p>“He’s your friend. I don’t know the mother fucker. And let’s face it T,  you don’t neither.” He insisted.</p><p>“I’ve known Cloud for a long time. When he left Nibelheim, he asked me to talk with him on the water tower. He told me he was coming to Midgar to become a Soldier and promised that if I ever needed him that he would help me. And I believe in him, Barret.”</p><p>I remembered something vaguely, sitting on a water tower. Tifa in a blue dress, her hair long and wild, looking at the stars. I could see it. A small town at the foot of a mountain. Days spent running in the woods, a girl with long, black hair, the object of my every other thought.</p><p>Yes. I knew her.  It was a good sign, some of my memories were coming back.  Tifa. Her middle name was Audra. Weird thing to remember.</p><p>“And he done been through a whole bunch of stuff and he ain’t one of us anymore. He’s one of them. Shinra is probably looking for him right now. We got to drop him off up on the plate and let them deal with him.”</p><p>“NO!” she yelled and it was very clearly audible. “Absolutely not. I will not discuss this with you, Barret. This is my bar and my home. I worked hard for everything I have and no one helped me, not even you. I will not be told who I can and cannot have I MY house. Am I clear? And if you don’t like that, you can take your little club somewhere else…”</p><p>“Tifa..”</p><p>“And stay away from Cloud.” She seethed and I heard her stomp off down the hall. Clearly that didn’t go the way he had thought it would. I heard him finally walk back down the creaky hall.</p><p>*****<br/>I woke up and she was grabbing some clothes out of the drawer.</p><p>“I’m keeping you out of your bed.” I offered.</p><p>“It’s ok, I love having you… I mean, stay as long as you need.” She said.</p><p>“I need to get up and get some exercise. Can I ask you something?”</p><p>She nodded. “Anything, I’m an open book.”</p><p>“So… is your middle name Audra?” I asked. </p><p>Her face opened and I couldn’t tell if she was going to cry or laugh. Tears came and she threw herself in my arms. I caught her and it was so good, the contact, the touching and I resisted the urge to kiss her, to throw her down on the bed and ravish her. I buried my face in her neck and breathed her in deep. “Is this a yes?” I asked and got my mouth full of her hair.</p><p>She leaned back and said “Yes!” and then our eyes caught, and we hung there is mutual desire and mutual innocence. Old Cloud. Inchon Cloud would have bedded her right there, taken her and made her his with a few cunning swipes of his tongue.</p><p>New Cloud, though. Amnesiac Cloud suddenly felt awkward and put her down and turned away. She turned away too and so we sat there, back to back surely thinking and wanting the same thing but too afraid to go further. As I think about it, I think Amnesiac Cloud was one of the fragments. Scared Cloud. Regressed Cloud.</p><p>She spoke finally and turned to me. I turned back.</p><p>“So, what do you want to do today?” She asked.</p><p>“I… um. I thought I’d walk around and see if I find anything familiar.” I said.</p><p>“Mind if I tag along?’ She asked brightly.</p><p>“Uh. um. no. Sure. The more the merrier.” I said and grabbed Buster and threw him on the bed. “Where is my uniform?” I asked. She opened one of her drawers and pulled out my clothing, freshly laundered and folded. Her dresser. She looked a little guilty about it. She turned and handed them to me.</p><p>I stood and looked at her, waiting for her to leave so I could change. She stood there, looking at me. Expectantly. I wasn’t sure if she was here for the show or what.</p><p>“So. I, um… need to change.” I said.</p><p>“Oh!” She said and jumped a little. “I’ll just, em. Yeah, I’ll be in the bar… Just down the old hall here. Yep. I’ll see you…”  She disappeared out the door and pulled it shut.</p><p>I got dressed and looked at myself in the mirror. It was a stranger looking back at me. I didn’t recognize this person at all. The uniform, or course, it felt right and familiar and comforting but the face, the spikey hair and weird blue eyes… Mako blue.</p><p>I found my pack in the corner and opened it.</p><p> In the top was a comb and a jar of something called “Spikey stuff”. I went back to the mirror and took out glob of the stuff and ran it through my hair. Muscle memory took over and soon my haphazard tufts looked like a hairstyle, or at least partially intentional.  </p><p>I dug some more and found a spare uniform, underwear, socks and a few pictures. There was one of a man and woman, looked like the square at Nibelheim. It was old. No inscription. There was another of the guy I had seen in the mirror with a handsome older guy. Blond with piercing eyes.</p><p>He seemed so familiar and he made me so sad when I looked at him. We were sitting on some steps and he had his arms around me, and his forehead was touching mine, the guy in the mirrors and he. I looked so god damned happy.”</p><p>I realized I had tears in my eyes, and I shoved the pictures away into the pack. The rest was pretty much standard Shinra issue except for a dead smart pad that was in three pieces. I tossed it.</p><p>I looked in the mirror one more time and wished the guy there good luck.</p><p>Outside I saw Tifa. “So?” She asked.</p><p>“I need to run,” I told Tifa, “Can you keep up?”</p><p>*****<br/>Barret was angry. He had been so loyal, so dedicated to Tifa and now this Soldier was showing up and ruining everything. He was just pissed.</p><p>He walked past the local news feed ad happened to look up. There he was, Cloud Strife on the news bigger than shit. It was fleeting but the hair was unmistakable.</p><p>“Turn that up.” Barret demanded and the shop keeper shrugged and did.</p><p>“The group of Soldiers were involved in the burning of Nibelheim and reportedly friends with the notorious Sephiroth, the butcher of Nibelheim. Three hundred people lost their lives in the ensuing fire. Reports are that the other Conspirators. The Soldier and his unknown companion were seen in the mountains north of Midgar just a week ago. Shinra troops were dispatched and Fair perished in the firefight. The companion might still be large and considered armed and dangerous. In other news…”</p><p>Barret stopped. He walked on for a little while.</p><p>He could turn Cloud in right now and it would be all over. As much as he hated Shinra, this Cloud dude was bad news. He could only bring more attention to them and Barret didn’t need that, not with the reactor run coming up.</p><p>He would need to get him somewhere away from the bar. Somewhere alone. He headed back to the bar.</p><p>*****<br/>I was barely breathing hard and Tifa’s side hitched. She leaned hard over, and I put my hand on her back. She jerked up and I pulled away.</p><p>“You ok?” I asked.</p><p>“We must have done 12 miles. I’m just out of shape.” She said.</p><p>“Me too. I should have gotten much further.” I said absently and she glared at me. “What?” I asked.</p><p>“Come on, I’ll get you something to drink.” She offered with a wry smile.</p><p>“Yeah, Water would be nice.” I said and she pulled me up the stairs into the bar. Her hand was warm and soft and very pleasant.</p><p>Barret was there with Wedge, Biggs and Jessie. Tifa smiled brightly.</p><p>“This is my friend, Cloud.” She said. They all waved and looked at me with suspicion.</p><p>“Hey,” I offered. I could see I was unwanted in this room. “I need to go and do my kata.” I said.</p><p>“I’ll make you dinner.” She said and I saw Barret frown.</p><p>“Great.” I waved and turned to go.</p><p>“Where you going to train at?” Barret asked.</p><p>“I saw a bunch of rubble back behind some of the shops. It looked secluded and like no one would get in my way there.</p><p>“Yeah.” Barret said.</p><p>I turned and left the Bar.</p><p>“Y’all wait here for a minute.” He said and went into the back room.</p><p>He took out his phone and called Martin, a friend of his at Shinra Corp.</p><p>“Hi Barret. I thought I was the enemy these days.” Martin said.</p><p>“Um, yeah. You know that Nibelheim murder guy?” He said.</p><p>“Are you kidding. R and D is freaking out and screaming at Ops. Apparently, he was supposed to be taken alive… Him and his murdering friend. You know he was from Nibelheim? What kind of mind…”</p><p>“He’s alive. I seen him. He was down by the old abandon factory sector in 7. Spikey hair, big sword.”</p><p>“You’re sure it’s him?”</p><p>“Yeah?”</p><p>“Thanks. I owe you.” He said and hung up. Barret joined the others.<br/>*****<br/>Kata was all muscle memory for me. I didn’t even think about the movements, my body just did them. Even remembering that I was supposed to was something that apparently was ingrained in me.</p><p>I spun and whirled, pulled in and leapt in gymnastic combinations. My body was light and joyful with the actions and my head cleared of all thought. I fell into the zen of the movement.</p><p>I was removed from that zen by the sound of chambering rounds.  I looked up and there were 5 Shinra guards.</p><p>“Are you Cloud Strife? One of them asked.</p><p>“Depends on who’s asking” I said.  I turned and pointed the sword at them.</p><p>“We have orders to take you alive.” The commander said.</p><p>“That is going to make this really difficult for you, then.” I said.<br/>*****</p><p>Barret was talking about the evils of Shinra again. Tifa sighed and looked out the window and saw people all running in one direction with great urgency.</p><p>She stood. “Where are you going?” Barret demanded.</p><p>She didn’t respond, just went outside. Jesse, Wedge and finally Biggs followed her.  Barret reluctantly followed.</p><p>“What’s going on?” Tifa asked a passing kid.</p><p>“Some Soldier is fighting a ton of Shinra guards in the old ruins.” He said excitedly and took off in that direction.</p><p>“CLOUD!” Tifa yelled and ran as hard as she could in that direction.</p><p>*****<br/>“You don’t want to do this.” I said. “I’m a Soldier, first class.”  The commander chuckled. I shrugged.</p><p>“Are you coming with us?” The commander asked.</p><p>“If one of you lives, I’ll consider it.” I threw at him.</p><p>A crowd was gathering, and the Commander was starting to look nervous.</p><p>“Cloud Strife. Under the power of Shinra power I order you to surrender.” I looked up and saw Tifa crest the hill. She started to come down, but I shook his head and she stayed put. Jessie, Biggs and Wedge appeared and finally Barret.</p><p>“I don’t work for Shinra anymore. So, we got a standoff here.” I said, full of bravado.</p><p>“Fire. Aim to wound.” The guards opened fire and I flipped the Buster on its side and deflected most of the rounds, absorbed the rest. Even the pain was negligible.</p><p>I pounced, jumped eight feet in the air and came down with a swipe, knocking two guards down and the other two back. As they tried to stand and I made quick work of the three on their backs and turn on the others, including the commander. Again, the guards opened fire and again I deflected them. With three quick thrusts they were done.</p><p>I put my sword away and the crowd erupted into cheers. Shinra didn’t have any friends in Seven.</p><p>Tifa ran down the hill and threw her arms around my neck.</p><p>Jessie was right behind her and after Tifa let me go, Jessie, not to be outdone, jumped into my arms and kissed me on the mouth. I kissed her back, but when I looked over a Tifa I got a dirty look. I put Jessie down.</p><p>“Show’s over.” I said and at just that moment, wouldn’t you know it, we heard metal treads coming our way.</p><p>“What the?” I asked and turned and it was one of the Shinra assault bots. My brain gave me a check list.</p><p>“Auto turret, .375 rounds, about 400 in the first two clips and 4 back up clips, one rocket launcher, and one permium laser capable of firing every two minutes with 2 minutes of cool down.” I said out loud. “T, Jessie, get everyone out of here.”</p><p>“No, I’m staying,” T called. Jessie turned to Biggs and Wedge, they started evacuating people. Jessie moved up beside me.</p><p>“Oh, for the love of…” I groused. The sound of the gatling engaging got our attention. “OK, it will spin a hundred rounds and then spin for two seconds cool down!  Dodge now!”</p><p>We all leapt out of the way and the rounds threw up a cloud of dust.</p><p>“Good advice, anything else?” Jessie asked.</p><p>“Yes, rocket launcher!” I yelled and saw the small rocket emerge from the top of the robot. I ran as hard as I could, saw it was headed for Tifa. I rolled in the air and extended Buster, cut the rocket in half and took the brunt of the damage. I hate being burned!  Fury flared in my animal brain. I looked at Tifa.</p><p>“Are you alright?” I asked through gritted teeth.  She nodded and looked at me uncertainly. “Avoid the laser.” I told her and then turned and ran as hard as I could at the bot, Buster flying.</p><p>I hit it over and over, it clanked, and pieces fell off and a flurry of bullets was directed at me. I deflected a few but took a bunch.</p><p>“Fix me.” I said and my materia went off and I felt a lot better.</p><p>I got madder and madder and then I heard it. The whine of the laser charging.</p><p>“Duck!” I yelled and threw myself off the machine. Tifa managed to roll out of the way but Jessie caught the blast and fell. I turned to the machine.</p><p>“Ice!” I yelled and a huge snowball fell on the critically damaged machine and crushed it into a lifeless pile of parts.</p><p>I ran to Jessie and rested her head on my chest.</p><p>“I’ll heal you.” I said.</p><p>“No, I’m fine. Just.. just carry me back to the bar.” She said with a pained voice.  I naively nodded and lifted her. Tifa was glaring.</p><p>“Did. Did I do something wrong?” I asked and T shook her head. I carried Jessie back to the bar and she held on very tightly.  “It’s ok, I won’t drop you.” I said.</p><p>“I know.” She said and nuzzled into my neck.</p><p>Tifa shot daggers at us the whole way back to the bar.</p>
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